chapter 2

The book is primarily based on PREP which stands for the Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program. PREP is primarily based on over thirty years of studies on the University of Denver, as well as research carried out with the aid of different universities around the world. We conduct PREP workshops frequently across the United States and across the world, the use of specific steps and physical games to teach couples the competencies and attitudes related to top relation-ships. Because of its roots in stable studies and its trustworthy approach, PREP has also acquired a extraordinary deal of attention from and is utilized by experts in marital counseling, marriage educa-tors, and social policymakers at federal, kingdom and local ranges. We estimate that we have educated over 14,500 specialists and reached over five hundred thousand couples in twelve countries and in all branches of the U.S. Army.

Most human beings need a glad marriage that lasts an entire life, however we recognise that many couples don ' t stay collectively. Although the divorce charge has come down pretty a bit within the United States due to the fact that its all - time excessive in 1981 (and keeps to slowly decline), it is nonetheless alarmingly high. The modern projection is that amongst young couples marrying for the first time nowadays, about 40 to 50 percent of them will ultimately divorce. Aside from individuals who divorce, many different couples wind up staying collectively thru many years of sadness. We consider that maximum divorces and most marital sadness can be avoided. The partner who maximum wishes the divorce regularly says, " We fell out of affection " or " We ' ve grown aside " or " We fight an excessive amount of. " All of these issues can be remedied if each partners want to accomplish that. This book will assist you gain your intention of a fulfilling, lasting, satisfied, and healthy marriage. It will teach you approaches that you could act in your choice to build and preserve a first-rate relationship.The Shift to Negotiation - Based Marriage In the six - plus decades for the reason that end of World War II, our society has seen marriages exchange from relationships in which truly not anything became negotiable to ones wherein truely the whole lot is negotiable. This trend has been particularly great for the duration of the 2000s as marriage fees have declined and expectations for romance - primarily based, happy marriages have elevated. The massive modifications in people ' s expectations for marriage have caused a very different kind of marriage for maximum couples. Today, marriages require more ability in communique, conflict control, and negotiation betweenpartners than ever earlier than, due to the fact there may be less that is routinely ordinary and greater that desires to be determined.

The Impact of Technology

There is likewise a great deal greater to negotiate, with many new challenges coming from a number of the technological modifications we stated earlier. Instead of simply fi ghting about cash or how regularly to have sex, couples also are fighting about time spent on Facebook or whether or not it ' s OK to ship a text at some point of a romantic dinner or deliver a laptop on a getaway weekend. What this shift in marriage has intended is that couples are now extra significantly affected by their capability to address conflicts and differences. For couples who've terrific skills in confl ict management and problem solving, that ' s now not a massive deal. Your purpose is to hold up the coolest work through the years as you encounter more challenges. For the extensive range of couples who don ' t realize the competencies and principles in order to assist them paintings thru troubles and problems, the increased challenges and want to barter both commonplace and unusual issues mean more conflict, more sadness, and higher danger for divorce. We have refined our strategies for assisting couples manipulate the darkish and difficult aspect of their relationships with more skill and confi dence. The Role of Unrealistic Expectations Part of the negotiations need to do with the higher expectancies couples now have for the advantageous sides in their relationships. They count on their companions to be their first rate friends, their soul friends. So when poor matters happen, couples should recognize that even satisfactory buddies will have conflict and work thru variations effectively with out threatening the fulfillment of the connection. In reaction to this societal shift inexpectations, we've multiplied our considering how important it is to split handling the negatives from increasing the positives.