CHAPTER 29

Adriana

With my feet on the carpet of my psychologist, I am shaking.

Me: MY SON, MY SON! Ruan, I need to find my son, please. Guilt and emptiness gnaw at me.

He tries to calm me down and soothe me.

Ruan: Calm down, Adriana. That's a psychological barrier you've put up. We have our own defense mechanisms. You preferred to put this pain in the deepest abyss that exists. You wanted to erase this part of your life but it is impossible. We have to face problems, not run away from them.

I just nod my head at what he says. He's probably right. I have no idea what has been going on for over thirty years, but he is giving a medical explanation for it.

I can't stop crying.

Me: I have to find him. I have to find my son....

He gets up and hugs me.

There is a knock on the door. It is my bodyguard.

-Madam, are you all right?

Me (shouting): Yes everything is fine thank you.