CHAPTER SEVEN

It's Saturday again.

I'm awake a bit earlier than usual, so I can do my chores and sleep well in the afternoon, or later in the morning.

So here I am, by 6:45 am, mopping the floors of the living room, while we have Kamila mopping the rooms upstairs. After the living room, I'm to head to the kitchen.

I have my headphones on, and I'm listening to a playlist of my favourite boy band; Dreykhald.

They're seven in total. I love them all so much, their personalities, music... The struggles they went through to reach the position of the biggest boy band in the world, they're all so inspiring. They're also some kind of therapy for me. I love these Aussies so much, these 18-24-year-old men... If I continue talking about them, I might never stop.

Anyways, I was listening to Beautifully Scarred right now, it's one of the songs in their sixth album so far, and I was listening to it at a pretty high volume, so I couldn't hear my parents having a heated open argument. It was when my mom entered the living room and looked up and saw her angry face that I removed my headphones. Then I heard Dad shout;

"That's all you do! Disturb me and nag and be hella useless. Don't make me lose my temper woman, you will regret it. If I wasn't so worried and worked my buttocks off to be able to take care of my family, I'd have married when I wanted to, and who I wanted to. It most definitely wouldn't have been you!"

My grip tightened on the mop.

The jerk...

I seriously hated this man called my father. Kamila did, and Dylan did.

Where do I begin in describing Mr. Alexander Peters? I did know one thing though.

I regret being born of him.

He was never pleased enough with anything we did. Despite our efforts [my brother's especially because I and Kamila at some point got annoyed and kind of turned a little rebel to him, but Dylan was a good boy], he always had something negative to say. If any one of us did something bad, he blamed it on my mother, it's always her fault, but when we do something good, like whenever I won the prize for the best academic student in primary school, or Dylan played an organ piece extremely well, or Kamila only dresses up prettily, he claims that we take after him, or calls us his children.

Pfft. Pathetic.

He always complained when it was time for him to take care of his responsibilities. He was always angry like we were the cause of everything and anything. He was violent, but he can't dare lay a hand on my mother, she's not a wimp. The day he eventually does, lol...

He's not exactly my favourite topic, so we'll leave it at that.

Anyway, my mother looked pissed off at the argument.. and him.

At this point, I and my siblings have already resigned to fate. They always fight. They never seem to agree, no, my dad is continually hotheaded and never accepts his faults and never listens to my mother and is always quick to raise his hand to Dylan and...

Ugh.

Before now, I cried a lot and wondered why he was always like that. I always prayed for him to change. Beneath all this dislike and anger, there's care. I care about him and I don't want to bury my father untimely. I want to be a daddy's girl in the right situation. I want a good father-daughter relationship with him, but that can't happen with an animal like him [with all due respect].

Anyway, I resumed my mopping and placed my headphones back on, but this time, I reduced the volume. I eventually finished with both the living room and kitchen and went on to my room to relax a bit

before having my bath.

I let my mind drift to many places...

I began to think about my future.

I want to be a renowned lawyer. I love what they do. They are the more recognized people in the pursuit of justice. If there should be any occupation for women only, damn, it should be Law... Have you seen a female lawyer walk? Speak? They look every bit of the perfect boss lady when they get all dressed in their black and white. They don't have any time to dilly-dally or anything of the sort. They value their time, so much. They are so sure of themselves, hella confident, and if you look deeper into their lives, they make awesome partners... life partners I mean.

Speaking of partners, Kyle...

I remembered Kyle when I said partners, what the heck?!

Anyway, as I said before, I won't go ahead with Kyle. Yes, I'm insecure, so insecure. I don't feel I deserve anyone of such high quality. Call me whatever you'd like, I don't care.

I remembered the Saturday he came here. He was going for a run and he dropped by. I walked to the window in my room facing the streets.

Maybe... just maybe... I could catch him, it is 7:00 am anyway...

I took a deep breath and looked through my window. I saw someone bent over, tying his shoelaces.

As if on cue, he was upright again, was about to continue jogging... then he looked up, and his eyes found mine. His ocean blue eyes met my brown ones.

Kyle.

We remained that way for a few seconds, me looking down at him and him looking up at me.

Mom broke the trance.

"Rayna! Come lock the doors, I'm heading out!"

I took my phone from my bedside table and I quickly texted Kyle.

Me: Kyle, we need to talk. I'll be down in a sec, don't go anywhere.

A few seconds later;

Kyle :‑): I'll wait for you...

That sentence seemed to hold a million promises.

Promises I'd never be part of.

I went to lock the front door and went through the backdoor to meet Kyle.

"Hey", I approached him.

"Hi, Ray. What's good?", he smiled awkwardly.

"I'm okay. Uhmm... about Monday, well--"

"Look, I'm not forcing anything or imposing anything, heck, I didn't even mean to tell you. I just blurted it and I had no idea. That's the part about you that sets me on edge. You make me do things, and feel things without realizing it. Shit, I'm doing it again", he ran a hand through his hair.

"I don't know why your choice would be me, you have a bad taste then. I'm not going to allow you to ruin yourself by getting involved with me. You're wasting your time Kyle, don't like me. I won't even reciprocate anyway.

Sure, we can still be buds, but that's it. You and me? No."

KYLE'S P.O.V

"You and me, No......"

That particular statement has been ringing in my ears ever since I heard it five seconds ago.

No, I won't let her go. Maybe I can give her some space, then she'll come around, but she looked decided... Her mind is made up.

Rayna, you deserve the best, why can't you see that?

I'm not saying I am it though, but I know you could bring out the best in me...

"Why would I be ruining myself if you let me in?", I probed.

"Just let it be Kyle, let it be okay? I'm one rotten can of tuna. There are a lot of fresh good ones in the sea, go for them. Cross me out of your list", she said, with a twinge of pain.

"But what if I don't want to go for those? It's you--"

"Oh cut it, Kyle! Is this another of your games? I'm not some girl that you can easily have your way with! Oh, this has got to be a dare right? If you can do this, you know, make me fall for you and believe your lies and feel pretty and forget I'm fat and then you crush me for a hundred dollars right? Tell Jack to give you someone else to dare!", she shouted at me.

This hurt me.

Does she think this low of me? Am I that bad to her?

This is legit painful.

"That's... what you think... of me??", I asked, my hurt very clear.

She didn't even waver.

"Who doesn't know you, Kyle? We might be buds, but that doesn't stop you from being all these right? Having girls ask you out and you turn them down, them going crazy for your amazing striking odd hair colour and your brain and..and.. your pretty eyes..and--", she paused, and her eyes considerably widened.

Huh... I actually have a chance, at least my appearance pleases her eyes. I resist the urge to laugh out loud. I begin to bite my lower lip to keep from laughing.

"The point is Kyle, I don't want this. Let's just remain buds alright? No awkwardness, got it? she stated.

"Okayyy... Buds it is, I won't try anymore", I agreed.

Her expression changed into something for a second and then became smug. What was that...Pain? Regret?

"Oookkaayy then, see you another time Kyle", she smiled and walked away into her house.

Heck, I want to pull her back and I tell her I'll never let her go, but then, it's a dream, or that's what she wants me to think...