I can't let her go

NOLAN

"You are not going to make her stay?" Nigel asked and I shook my head. "You will let her go without a fight?"

"I can't keep her with me" I answered flipping the pages of the book I was holding.

"You are letting her go for the second time, without a fight?"

I closed the book and sighed. "I don't want her to regret staying back here"

"Do you think of how she feels?. Why did you not let her make her decision herself?"

"She was going to leave, I know that. I just don't want her to feel bad leaving me. I don't want to be pitied"

"Nolan, letting her go isn't the best option. Do you think she will reject you?"

I shrugged. "I can't say"

"If she doesn't reject you, you won't be able to resist her for long"

"She will have to reject me"

"And you will lose half of your power. If you are not strong enough you might lose your wolf. What about her?. What if she dies?"

I blinked. "She is not going to die. She is strong enough to take care of herself"

"You think so?"

I nodded. "I know so"

"Remember you guys have mated what if she is pregnant. Are you going to watch your pups being raised by another pack?"

I doubted she could be pregnant. I would have known. She hasn't shown any sign of being pregnant and it had been two months. "She is not pregnant. It's been two months already. If she is pregnant I would have known"

"What if she's been hiding it from you?"

"Did she tell you she's pregnant?" I asked

"No?"

"Then why are you persistent?"

"I just..."

"That won't change my mind. That's the best option for both packs"

"Nolan..."

"I want to be alone"

"Nol..."

"Now" I yelled. I used my alpha tone and he stood up.

"I hope you won't regret this," he said and left.

I watched him leave. He wasn't in any way afraid of me, even after using my alpha tone, he still had something to say. I sighed. I hope he understands that everything I am doing now is for Olive. It has always been her father's dream that she rules the mountain pack after he dies. He has always trained her for a day like this and it will be selfish keeping her here by my side. It will selfish if I don't let her fulfill her dad's wish.

That's the reason I asked her to leave. That is the reason I told her to reject me. I only wanted the best for her. I wanted her to know that I do love her and I'm willing to sacrifice myself for her happiness. I just hope everyone will understand I am not letting her go because I don't love her but because I wanted the best for her.

**

"Ella is staying back," Bella said as she entered my room. I nodded and continued starring at the book I was holding. "You won't go and say goodbye to her?" She asked

"There is no need for that"

"She wants to see you for the last time"

"She should go. I don't want to see her"

"She doesn't want to reject you"

"Make her reject me"

"I can't do that. You should talk to her. I think there is another option that you both isn't talking about"

"Rejecting me is the best option. It will keep her away from coming here"

"Do you want that?. Do you want her to go?"

"Even if I don't, I've got no option. It's the best choice"

"Why do you keep saying that?. Why can't you just accept you are hurting?"

"I am not hurting. That is what I want. I made that decision and I am not changing it"

"Nolan..."

"Please leave"

"N..."

"Leave. Now!!!"

"You are going to regret this" she yelled and ran out of my room.

I felt bad yelling at her. She had been the only family member who had stayed by my side all through these years. Nigel had been by my side too despite knowing how annoying I could be. I wished I could fulfill their desire and make Olive stay back but I don't want to regret it. I don't want her to feel bad not fulfilling her dad's wish.

Why can't they understand that I am doing it for every one of them? Why can't they understand that I am much more hurting than they are?. She's my mate. She's my other half. The pain I feel just thinking I won't be seeing her again is large. I am only trying to be strong just because I wanted her to go and fulfill her father's wish.

Do they know, the pain my heart has been trying to endure?. Do they?. I don't think so!!!.

**

When I came downstairs, it was evening already and I was sure Olive had gone back to her home, without rejecting me. I took a stroll, wishing she had listened to me and rejected me. I wished she had rejected me publicly and let me feel the pain once and for all. She shouldn't let me feel a gradual pain. I might not be able to hold on for long.

I picked a stone up and threw it across the street. Everyone who saw me stared at me with pain in their eyes. Only a few people were moving around. The street seems strange to me too. I wondered if the streets were mourning her absence. Maybe the pack members are missing her so much they had agreed to stay indoors. "Maybe they feel your pain," my subconscious mind said

I wondered if that was what happened. Did they feel my pain so much they decide to stay indoors?. I stood to sit under a tree. I could feel my heart aching so badly. She's been gone for only a few hours and I am feeling this much pain. I wondered how long I will be able to stay before running after her. She should have rejected me. That would have saved me from all this.

"Thinking about her?" Someone said and I raised my head to see Duncan smiling at me.

"No" I answered. "Just resting" I lied. I was too ashamed to tell him I missed her so much. That I wanted her badly I can't hold it anymore. I was ashamed to tell him I want her back when she hasn't been gone for long.

He smiled and sat down beside me. "I know you miss her. It's normal for someone who has mated with their mate"

"I don't miss her that much"

He ruffled my hair slightly and laughed. "I know you miss her strong enough to want to run into her open arms"

"I do miss her," I said sincerely. "I wish she is here"

"If you wanted her this much, why do you let her go?"

I saw Duncan as a father figure I could open my heart to. "I do not want to be the reason she disobeys her father"

"Did she say that to you?"

"No. I know her dad had always wanted her to be the next alpha after him. I just wanted to fulfill his dream"

"Did she tell you she wanted that?. Did you both sit down to make that decision"

"No"

"You made the decision yourself?". I nodded. "And you thought that was the best option for the both of you?". I nodded wondering where he is heading to. "You never thought about any other option?"

"No. There was no other option to pick from. They gave just two options"

"But that isn't the only option available. They only gave you two options because they thought that was the only option available. You should have considered other options too"

"There wasn't an option"

"You thought there wasn't. You should have sat down with her and decided with her"

"She's gone already. It's too late"

He held my hand. "It is not too late. You should go after her. You should get back what is yours. It is only late if you don't fight for your love"

"You think I should go see her?"

He nodded. "Talk things over with her. There will always be an option safer and better"

I stood up. "Thanks, Duncan"

He smiled. "I will let the rest know you are..."

"Can you keep it a secret until I can bring her back?"

He nodded. "If that is what you want. Now go before it is too late"

I hugged him. "Thank you for being a father to me"

"Thank you for being this strong"

"I love you, dad"

"I love you too, son"

**

I got to the mountain packhouse and I was told Olive took a stroll. I waited at the packhouse for her return. While I wait, I wondered what her response will be if she sees me. I wondered if she misses me as I miss her. I wondered if she will be happy to see me or not. Different thoughts ran through my mind. What if she doesn't want me anymore, for letting her go for the second time?. What if...

The sound of a falling plate jolted me out of my thought. I ran to the kitchen to see what had happened. "Are you ok?" I asked the lady in the kitchen

"Y-yes. Thank you" she answered raising her head. "You?"

"Natasha?" I called

"Nolan. It's being a while"

I supported her to stand up and replied. "It's been a while. Where have you been?"

"I was with my uncle when our pack got attacked. He stopped me from coming back"

"Why did you return now?"

"Nathaniel came for me"

I smiled. "It's good to see you again"

She nodded. "It's good to see you too". She stared at me and I wondered why.

"So, where is Nathaniel?" I asked breaking the silence between us

"He took a stroll with Olive"

I blinked. Nathaniel again?. Why does she like walking around with him?. "Did you know where they went to?"

"To the garden, I guess. They wouldn't let me go with them when I want to"

I shrugged. "I will go check them"

"Did you come because of Olive?" She asked and I nodded. "I heard she reject you to be the alpha of mountain pack"

I frowned. "Where did you hear the news from?"

"Walls have ears, they say"

"She did not reject me. I made her leave"

"She would have rejected her pack if you hadn't stopped her?"

I starred at Olive wondering why she was saying this. Is there something going on between those two, like a fight or something? "She won't reject her pack"

"But she will reject you"

"Why are you doing this?"

"I just want you to know if you have made the right choice coming here. I will advise you to leave, cause Olivia won't choose you over this pack. Never!!"

"I..."

"Talking of the devil and she is here"

I turned to see Olive staring at me. "I will leave you both" Natasha said. "Follow my advice, I will say" she added and finally left.

I sighed. "Olive..."

"You should follow her advice and leave," Olive said and turn to leave.

"I can't" I yelled. "I can't leave you. I can't live without you, Olive. I am sorry I made you leave. I can't let you leave again"

"I-it's already too late. I-i Olivia Smart of the Mountain pack reject..."

I closed her mouth up with my lips. There is no way I am letting her reject me. Never!!!