15: Carnival

I received another dead line from my phone after attempting to call Peter. I'm able to throw it on my bed and drop my body on the bed with a blanket which made me look like in a cacoon even though it wasn't that cold.

Only the noise running outside from the vehicles running back and forth is what surrounds the house, and I immediately heard someone knocking on the front door.

With the blanket wrapped around me and a bag of chips in my hand, I went downstairs to check it out.

" Mark," I was surprised when he was on our doorstep, wearing only a hoodie and sweatpants.

His eyes looked at me from head to toe as if judging me. My pajamas aren't visible because of the blanket, and I know my hair is in a messy bun, a chaotic hairstyle.

" I look wasted? Or just have babysat three children? I know," I said before he commented about how I looked.

" Are we going?"

" Going?... Going where?" I asked, confused, after licking my fingers with the flavor of chips I've been eating for a while.

" It's Sunday, Sue," he said with a poker face.

" Yes. Yes, I know, so what about it?"

He showed me his phone while his lips formed an ear-to-ear smile, but it was so unadorned. I squinted my eyes as I leaned forward, able to see the poster his screen was showing.

" Ca-Carnival, at 3 pm there would be... fireworks--fireworks!... So?" I asked after inserting another fist of chips into my mouth.

He didn't answer, but I realized it after a few minutes of thinking.

" You're going--I thought we were not going you said you will have dinner tonight with your family, right?"

Last Friday, I sent him this poster and kept pushing him to go with me since there's a ride all-you-can ticket and I'm ready to spend my saved allowance just to experience the rides again, but he gave me an excuse that they'll be having a family dinner today. Going alone will just make me look stupid, walking around the different rides, riding them.

" I canceled it,"

" Why? It's a family dinner you should go home,"

" Come on, are we going or not?" his eyes are starting to beg.

My tongue clicked before closing the door on his face. I run in like a Flash, back to my room, myself immediately reflected in the mirror after stopping by in front of it.

It seems every clothes I use to go outside or to school is what I also use inside the house, it's comfy though. I left the t-shirt on me and changed into jeans from shorts. I gave my hair a combed then picked up the ones to bring before going back to the door.

I caught Mark sitting on the stairs with the sound of keys rumbling.

" I'm ready," I said, showing myself, and he immediately turned around.

" Don't you have any clothes in your closet?" he ask, as he stand up from the porch.

" It's comfortable!" I defended, " What's wrong with my clothes?" I asked, checking my form when he started walking towards his car as I followed him from behind.

" I'll change clothes then if you don't want this,"

" I bet you don't even have a dress in your closet," he said, opening the door for me.

" I have!... Gala," I specified.

I sat on the seat he opened for me as I laugh when get to roll his eyes at me.

THE FIRST THING THAT GREETED US as we got out of the car was the scream of people inside riding the circle ride that swings up in the air but I guess it's not just where the screams come from.

We encountered a line of people in one line that nearly reached the parking lot. I lined up there because I saw it was necessary. We needed a ticket if we want to get inside but Mark just went straight, ignoring the line composed.

" Hey!" I called him, " Where are you going?" my forehead crinkled at him.

" Going inside?"

I tilted my head on him to join me in the line, " There's a line,"

" I know, but I already got the ticket," he spread two tickets in his finger with a wink in his eye.

I got out of the line and jumped at him, messing his hair, " How did you get your ticket?"

" Long story, but I lined up before you do,"

" You look more excited than me,"

" First time,"

" Really? Then you should try everything around here,"

" First time with someone I want,"

His mouth moved but I didn't hear what he was trying to say since only an ant can hear. I didn't bother to ask since I was too excited to start riding the rides we came across.

I saw a roller coaster-like ride, but I think an infant can ride here since it's a friendly-looking ride. It doesn't have the same feature as the roller coaster. It's Caterpillar Ride, based on the sign given.

I pulled Mark there and lined up with the others.

" Two more people? Is there--"

I immediately raised my hand to the guy calling out, there were five people waiting in front of us and I guess they were a group of friends that isn't separable because they were also waiting for the people fitted on the seat.

" A couple behind you," the guy said before we walked passed beside him.

" We're not a couple," I corrected, and Mark, from behind, showed our ticket.

As we were on the ride, Mark embraced my arm and it stayed the whole ride. He draws my arm every time the ride rises a little from its rail. The people in front keep shouting every time the caterpillar gets intense in going round, while we're just... cool.

" Too much for a first time," he feedback, as soon as we leave the site.

" Don't tell me you're already backing out after our first ride,"

" I'm not! But can't you feel you're liver twisting every time it goes up, like-- "

I started laughing when he demonstrated how his liver twisted from the ride. Until I slapped his arms so that he would just stop because he was doing it over and over again and I can't stop my jaw and we passed what I wanted to try next.

" Let's try this!" I pulled him into the Viking ride but a small version.

" It's just for kids," he commented as I pull him to the ride.

I think he underestimated the small version of Viking even though I felt what the original version of it feels like, small but terrible indeed. He actually explains what he felt on the Caterpillar ride again but much worse this time.

Every ride we took is what I want. I asked him if he want something to try since it was his first time but he lets me decide for us. Until we arrived at the time I surrendered on the bench.

I'm watching him remove the hoodie from him, I thought he was feeling hot inside since he revealed he was wearing a shirt inside but he place it on my lap, " Maybe I'll take too long," he said and stood up from beside me, " And keep it so that your closet would have another collection," he added.

" You're insulting me again," I said, and wear the hoodie he gave me. I literally want his hoodie the first time I saw it on him. I didn't think he will give me it, it looks comforting to wear, and I love it.

" It's true," he stated.

He got away this time before I lock him into my arms, choking him to death.

I was more tired than him. It looks like the other way around. I looked at the time that was close to turning 3 pm. He came with two cotton candy on both of his arms, but he was already giving a bite on the cotton candy on his left.

I stood up to snatch the other cotton candy from him before he could eat it.

" I'll not eat yours,"

" It's better to be sure," I said pinching on the cotton candy.

We both sat down on the bench and eat our own sticks.

" Do you regret canceling your 'family dinner'? " I asked.

As minutes passed beside him, I noticed how he stares blankly at the people passing by. He isn't insulting but he's thinking something.

" I still have time to attend though,"

" Let's go home then,"

" But I still choose this even though we'll stay overnight here,"

" That's impossible," I said, melting the candy on my tongue," What is it? You look like Peter every time he's thinking something that made him worried every time,"

" Nothing,"

" Really? " I said getting close to him.

He insists on saying 'no'. No matter how hard I try. While Peter gives in easily, Mark is somehow hard like a solid rock.

Why am I even thinking of Pete? He ignore me for days already.

Minutes later, we heard an explosion in the sky. There were colorful sparks exploding in the sky, and it was so beautiful. The fireworks are already starting.

" Look, it's starting!" I pointed at the sky with a mark of pink on my finger.

I watched awestruck as the sky gets decorated with fireworks exploding on it.

" It looks pretty, " I said in aww.

The whole time I watched the fireworks up in the sky until they run out. I even caught Mark's eyes on me after looking back at him.

" It's pretty, " he stated, then looked the other away.

WE'RE IN HIS CAR, heading home already. It started to rain when we decided to try the Ferris wheel before we head home. We don't have any umbrellas packed and I don't have any idea to shower in the rain again.

" Maybe next time we'll ride the Ferris wheel,"

" It's fine, I still have fun for my first time," he said, steering the wheel on the right.

I started watching the building we were passing by on the outside. We passed a bus stop and Pete entered my mind again. I just remembered that we were always there waiting for the rain to stop pouring, and even though we were already together the whole day, I still have words left in my mouth to share with him.

I shake my head off to clear my thoughts about him.

" Are you okay?"

" Yeah," I answered.

But I can't help it. Something... something keep pushing him inside my head.

What if something happened to him? But shouldn't he approach me? He approaches me when needed or he really has something to explain to me. But I haven't seen or talked to him for a few days.

I bit my lower lip before speaking up, " Can you make--"

" At Peter's house?"

It takes time to give him a simple nod with a smile, " Sorry, but--"

" It's fine. I knew that you think a lot more than me, you kept mentioning him," he said then make a turn to our right.

It didn't take much time before we arrive at their house. I didn't waste another second and opened the door even though the rain is streaming harder this time.

" You still have time to catch your family dinner,"

" Sue!" Mark called, stopping me from taking one step down on his car.

He gets me something from the back seat.

An Umbrella.

I leave a smile at him instead of hearing his explanation. I like him lying sometimes.

As soon as I was near their doorstep, he was already ready to leave and I'm just in time before he does.

Our eyes locked on each other as soon as he take a turn on his left. His eyes tell that he was surprised to catch me outside their apartment but my heart was jumping out of delight, seeing him fine, great, doing great after days he's ignoring me.

" Sue? Why are you here?" he asked.

" Does it have to be asked? It's been days since the last time I saw you,"

" I'm sorry, I was about to visit you when I have time. It's just that--"

" Are you ignoring me? " we were feet apart from each other when I started asking him, " Why?"

" I'm not ignoring you," he answered, fixing the position of his bag on his shoulder.

" Is it because of Mark? I know you still--"

I was taking a leap forward but stopped and was cut off by his words.

" I'm not avoiding any of you--"

" Then why?! Why do you keep yourself away? Why aren't you answering any of my replies or calls? Why I haven't seen you for three days?" my voice raised, "Why? I'm waiting for you," I said, almost in a whisper.

" I wish I could... avoid you like how people easily can say it, but you know I can't... I can't, I'm just... tired these past few days, Sue. And I'm sorry if I made you feel like that if I made you wait if I let you feel I've been ignoring you but... I don't mean any of those,"

" You know you can tell me anything. Anything, Peter, I will listen,"

" But you won't understand," he shakes his head.

" I won't? Then make me," my heart begs.

He isn't answering so I added a sentence to him, " You don't like Mark, right? Ever since. And I became close to him and you feel I become distant to you, isn't it? Is that the reason? " I concluded.

" I don't want to be selfish, instead, I should be happy that you got the friendship you always wanted with him, but I can't. Even I keep on telling myself 'It's for your best friend's sake, accept that fact'. But what am I against him? " he questioned, "Nothing," he whispered.

" Stop making things harder to understand--"

" You like him but I like you," a thunder roared after he finished his sentence.

My eyes gaze away as my breath drops, trying to process the sudden words he released, " You could still say things like that, Peter? This isn't a joke," I said, staring in absence.

" I'm not, I tried seeing you just a friend but I can't stop falling for you, even if your heart already belongs with someone I have nothing against with. I can't, I'm sorry,"

" Yo-you don't mean it. You're just confused or maybe you're right..." I stopped to look back at him, " You're just tired, so you can say things like that,"