Anguish

I paid the driver and dashed into my apartment, slamming the door shut behind me. I could tell my eyes were red and puffy from attempting not to break down in the uber. I tried hard to hold back the tears, but they wouldn't stop. I felt betrayed and heartbroken and I had no control over my emotions. How could Logan ever do this to me? I trusted him with everything, but all he did the entire time was work behind my back. I sat on the couch, sobbing loudly as more tears streamed down my cheeks. I brought my knees to my chest and sobbed uncontrollably. As the seconds ticked away, betrayal, fear, and every other emotion tore me apart.

I thought Logan had feelings for me, but he was only pretending to get me to fall into my enemy's trap. This was why he was acting so mysteriously earlier today. He didn't want me to accompany him because he was afraid I would discover his true intentions with me. That he'd hand me over to them soon. To those who mercilessly murdered my parents and those who are now looking for me.

My mind wandered back to the day we shared our first kiss when sparks and fireworks engulfed me. A day that will always have a special place in my heart. I rubbed my lips furiously, sobbing hysterically, trying to erase the memory and sensation of his lips on mine.

My head hurt thinking about how long he would have planned to keep all of this from me. That everything that happened between the two of us was just a part of some sick plan. The thought of being caught and abused engulfed me, causing my body to shiver uncontrollably. I clenched my teeth so tightly that my scalp ached. My throat is sore from crying so much. Why do I always end up looking like a total mess? To quench my thirst, I took a glass jar filled with water from a nearby coffee table. I tried not to spill the water as my hands shook violently from fear. Before I could take a gulp, I dropped it down as I heard someone knocking on the door. The glass shattered into pieces near my feet.

I stood there holding my breath when the knocking seemed to stop for a moment. When I got silence on the other end, I gulped slowly and blinked away the tears. But my heartbeat skipped once more as I heard Logan's softly calling my name. I hiccup as I try to stop my sobs. Why is he here? Oh, he has no idea I overheard him conversing with my kidnapper. He's back to continue his act.

When the knocking was replaced by banging, I wiped my tears roughly and walked slowly to the door. I'm guessing he is losing his patience for making him wait Will he leave me for good if I keep making him wait there? That way, I wouldn't have to confront him.

"Why don't you open the door, Lia?" I know you're in there." Logan spoke up, raising his voice. I remained silent and wet my dry lips in nervousness.

"Open the goddamn door, Lia, before I break it. I know there's something wrong because you left abruptly, but please open the door so we can talk it out, love." I closed my eyes as I felt my heart clench once more at his endearment. How long is he going to keep doing this stupid thing?

"There is nothing to talk about, Logan," I say solemnly, trying hard to conceal the tremor in my voice.

"Please, Lia. You're worrying me more. Please open the door." I clench my eyes shut, debating whether to open them and let him play me again or to leave him hanging like that. But knowing Logan, I know he won't budge from his position unless he gets what he wants.

I closed my eyes as I took the decision and clutched the doorknob with trembling hands. I'm going to have to confront him one way or another, so let it be now. Let's just get this out of the way. I mustered the courage to open the door, only to find Logan staring at me with a furious expression. My heart sank a little when I saw his tense expression, but it soon swelled with hatred as the realization hit me. I was scared for a split second when I saw his rage. My mind warned me not to do it again, so I tried slamming the door in his face, but he easily avoided it by blocking with his foot. He forcefully opened the door before entering in.

"Why did you leave without me? I was worried. You could have at the very least informed me that you were returning home." In a worried tone, he said. I looked down at the floor to divert his attention away from my bloodshot eyes.

"Lia?" He called, but all he got was silence. I must maintain my composure in the face of this traitor. I can't show him how weak I am.

"What's the matter, Lia? Look at me." He stated firmly. Before looking at him, I took a deep breath and blinked away the tears.

"I'm disgusted to even look at you," I said, my voice filled with hatred. I could tell he was taken aback by what I said. For a while, there was a painful silence. When I sensed him approaching, I took a few steps back until my back hit the table. He extended his hand to touch me, and I immediately flinched back. He quickly retrieved his hand before returning it to his side.

"What's the matter, baby?" He inquired in hushed tones, his tone an octave deeper and darker.

"Right now, I'm afraid of your presence. I'm terrified of you." In a trembling voice, I said.

"W-What are you talking about? What happened? Did you get scared when you saw something? If it's about the fight, I promise you I won't do it again," he said as he reached for my arms. I thrashed away and pointed my finger at his face.

"Don't touch me...No, you can't touch me anymore, you cheat. How could you possibly do this to me? I don't even want to look at your face, so get out of here." I yelled, trying to put all of my hatred into my voice.

"Could you please explain what all of this is about?" I'm trying to help you here." He raised his voice as if everything was my fault.

"Is it me? If it is about me, please tell me what I did wrong so that we can discuss it." He stated.

"There is nothing left to discuss, Logan. I saw everything....you are a liar and a traitor. How could you possibly do this to me? You knew everything about me and my parents because I told you everything. Was that your intention? To persuade me to believe you and spill the beans. "How could you possibly work for them?" I inquired, feeling vulnerable and betrayed. When I considered another possibility, my eyes widened.

"Or, even worse, are they... Are they working for you? Is this a trap? Are you the mastermind behind all of this? Do you have the title of 'boss'?" In that regard, my heart was thumping wildly. In anger, I could feel my body heating up. How could he deceive me in this manner?

"Wait a minute. Who are you referring to? "Who are these 'they?'" He asked me, acting clueless.

"Don't act as if you have no idea, Logan Watson. After the fight, I saw you ta-talking with h-him. Talking to the one person I've been trying to avoid since the beginning. The one person who ruined my life."

"What are you saying, Karolia? "Who is it?" Logan snaps, his fingers running through his hair.

"That man you left to talk with when we were in the parking lot. That same green-eyed man" I shiver

"What? Are you referring to Oliver? That is not possible... What makes you think it's him?" He inquired, his gaze narrowed at me.

"How can I forget the person who mercilessly murdered my parents in front of my eyes?" I inquired with venom.

"No way, it can't be. That is not possible. I've known Oliver for more than half my life, Lia. He'd never do something like that." He said this with a tone of disbelief in his voice.

"You think I'm lying to you, that I'm just pointing to some random guy to blame my parents' deaths on, don't you? For God's sake, we're talking about the one person who has been haunting me in my sleep for the past eight months." At this point, I yell. The pool of tears that I've been trying to contain for the entire time bursts free.

"And we're talking about the same person who has been my mentor for half of my life. I'm fairly certain he's not involved in any of this." He attempted to reason. Logan's hands were clenched when I looked at him.

"You d-don't believe me," I exclaimed, stunned.

"You don't believe me, don't you?" I asked more forcefully. His deafening silence revealed everything.

"Lia, I'm not sure how Oli-" he began.

"Get out," I yelled with all my might. His eyes became darker, and he gritted his teeth.

"Karolia-''

"I said GET OUT. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't even trust me, and I never want to see you again." I let out a hiss.

"We will talk about it. You have to....."

I couldn't understand a word he said. Right now, all I wanted to do was be alone. I wished he would leave me alone, to let me drown in my own misery. So I did the first thing that came to mind. I walked over to the shattered glass jar. I chose the sharpest piece I could find among the broken pieces.

"What are you doing?" Logan yelled. He was about to approach me when I placed the glass piece exactly where I wanted it. On the inside of my wrist.

"I'm going to cut myself if you don't leave. You know I wouldn't be afraid to do something like this." He scowled in response to my warning. I silently prayed that he still cared about me, about my health. So I could persuade him to leave. But it would also prove something else: that he still cares about me.

"F-Fine, I'll go. For the time being. But remember, Lia, I never lied to you."

He gave me a hesitant look before walking towards the door and leaving me alone to ponder my situation. I shut the door and collapsed on the ground, weeping uncontrollably until my entire body hurt. After hours of crying and weeping, the exhaustion of the day took its toll on my body, and I fell asleep on the ground, hugging myself like a fetus.

******

"I'll inform Mr. Watson -" she started and stood up from her seat. I shake my head quickly.

"No, that's fine. "I'm sure he knows I'm here," I tell her. William, Logan's driver, was already waiting in front of my apartment. I'm not sure how long he waited. Even though I wanted to decline the offer, I didn't want to be disrespectful to William. It's never his fault, and for some reason, I felt he'd get in trouble if he couldn't bring me to the company as per his boss's order. 7

If it had been a few days ago, I would have been pleased with his concern. But now I realize it's all part of his sick acting. He pretends to care about me, but in reality, he's just getting ready to throw me into a world of hell and despair.

I took a deep breath and knocked twice on the door before entering his office room, my mind racing. Logan stood in front of the large window, his hands in his pockets. His eyes shot up in my direction and his face didn't even falter. But I could see everything, including the emotions he projected onto me through his eyes. Emotions pleading with me to listen to him, to give him a chance to speak. But, Karolia, you must not fall into his trap again. I must remain solemn and expressionless now, just as I did after a hundred texts and phone calls from him begging me to listen to him in the previous days. Listen to the excuses he'll make to me.

"How're you?" was the first question Logan Watson asked me as the door closed behind me. I nod my head, mumbling a 'fine' before remaining silent. When the same question was not directed back to him, his jaw twitched, but he didn't question it. My gaze was drawn away from him. I recall him telling me that my eyes were the most expressive part of me. So, I don't want him to notice the vulnerability I'm attempting to conceal.

"I heard you were sick," he asked instead, and I nodded silently once more. I know he wants me to speak about my whereabouts and health, but I'm not going to give him what he wants right now.

"Lia," he exhaled heavily and moved closer to me. When he was a foot away from me, he sighed tiredly, "Please." 'Please talk to me,' he said.

"What is today's assignment for me, Mr. Watson?" Instead, I inquired. Logan's fist was clenched, a dark storm raging in his blue eyes. I heard him take a deep breath before composing himself.

"Take a seat, Miss. Kingston," he muttered as he turned around and sat on his swivel chair, his eyes boring into mine as I sat opposite him and opened the laptop to type on a contract.

The air around us was heavy and dry, making normal breathing impossible for me. The sharp object in my pocket felt heavy now, and I yearned to grasp the pocket knife in my hand. It's not because I was afraid of the person in front of me. I'm still holding on to an unnecessary hope and belief deep within me that he won't physically harm me, at least for the time being. It's primarily because I need something to hold onto in order to have the strength to endure this pain and constant fear of danger. Despite the fact that I had never asked Logan to protect me, being with him made me feel safe and secure. But I hate to admit that since the day he left me in my apartment, I've been concerned about my safety.

"With regard to the aforementioned project, your reference bearing quotation number..." Logan continued his words, his steely gaze fixed on me, unconcerned that I was struggling to keep up. He's irritated that I'm closing him off and not bothering to listen to his side of the story. But I don't mind.

I don't want to hear anything he says, knowing he might have played a part in my parent's death.

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