Secrets its out

"Tell you?" He chuckled darkly, sending a shiver down my spine.

"You tell me what's going on, Karolia Kingston,?" My heartbeat slowly started to accelerate when I heard him call me by my full name. This is not good.

"What do you mean?" He laughed humorlessly

"Oh Lia," he chuckled darkly, running his hand through his hair "Stop with this innocent act."

I stood up from the bed and crossed my arms over my chest. "No, you stop beating around the bush," I said, getting angry as well.

"Is there something you want to tell me?" He asked, stepping closer to me.

"Uhm...N-No," I gulped slowly as I answered.

"You stuttered" I racked my brain trying to think of some excuse.

"That's because your proximity is affecting me." I lied, happy with my excuse. I pushed him away, trying to put some space between us.

"Why is it so hot here?" I said fanning myself with my hand and looking around anywhere but him. I was getting uncomfortable under his hard gaze.

"Don't change the topic, Karolia. I want to know why you're hiding things from me." My face scrunched up in confusion and anxiety. Does he know about my meeting with Olivier? But if he knows, how? I made sure no one knows about this. As I wasn't sure, I decided to play innocent. If he didn't know, I don't want to ruin it by opening my big mouth.

"I'm not hiding anything from you." I lied. My guilt was slowly starting to resurface but I repeated to myself that it's all in order to protect them. I'm doing this to keep them safe. Yes, I'm doing the right thing.

"I don't want to start a fight, Lia." Logan's jaw clenched and his hands were balled into fists.

"Me neither. I don't understand what got you so riled up." He took a step forward and I took one back involuntarily.

"I want you to trust me enough to open up to me instead of forcing you to spill the beans," he said, disappointment and sadness swirling in his eyes.

"I trust you, Logan, with all my heart," I said, exasperated. The reason I don't want him to know about Oliver is that I don't want him to get involved in my mess. Now I am their only target. If he gets involved, that target might change into two or more. And I don't want that to happen.

"Is that so? Ask yourself again. If you do trust me, then we will talk without keeping any secrets." He said

"I trust you. I really do." I cast my eyes to the floor. "But,…"

"But what? You can't tell me what you're hiding. Right?" I remained silent and he chuckled at my lack of response.

"Thought so," he said and walked towards the door.

"Where are you going?" I asked, getting tense. He can't leave without resolving our problems. Logan turned around to me, giving me a last glance, as he opened the door. I bit my lip when I saw the hurt in his eyes and I opened my mouth to call out to him.

"Log-" My heart clenched tightly when I heard the loud sound of the door shutting. He didn't say anything and left me alone in his room. My lips trembled as I sank to the mattress, my mind clouded with sadness. He won't be back. He doesn't want to be anywhere near me now.

I trust him more than myself and I know he will protect me by all means. But the Logan I know will lock me down first before hunting for those men by himself if I tell him. That's one of the reasons I don't want him to know. He's strong and powerful but I still don't know whom we are fighting against. The so-called Boss can be an underworld enforcer for all I know.

Another reason why I don't want to tell him is that I'm scared. If I have to say everything, then I also have to say it's because of me that Grecia was in an accident. His mother was battling for her life all because of me. Grecia means the world to him. I'm a threat to everyone and for that, I'm scared he might leave me. I don't want to lose him. Call me selfish, but when we don't have anyone in this world to give a shoulder then we tend to hold on to a few things that we enjoy now. Because we don't know how long it will last for.

If only I can solve all of this by myself then everything can get back to normal. No one will know. That's what I'm hoping for. That's what I'm planning for. But all that depends on one thing. What is it that the boss exactly wants from me? Why did he kill my parents and not me? Why did he let me live?

I closed my eyes and faced the ceiling, clutching the blanket close to my chest, Logan's smell engulfing around me. I hope tomorrow everything will be fine.

****

The next day, I got up extra early to make breakfast. Maybe this breakfast can soften his mood and he might forgive me. Logan didn't come back last night and today morning I found him asleep in the guest room, the room which I used before. I scoff at the irony.

Once I finished cooking, I carried the tray of food to the guest room but my eyebrows furrowed when I noticed that Logan wasn't there and the bed was made perfectly as if no one slept on it. Frowning, I kept the tray on the bed before deciding to look for him.

After 20 minutes of searching the ground and first floor of this huge mansion, I finally climbed down the steps that lead to the basement hallway. I was breathless at this point. I know he's somewhere in the house because the guards informed me that he hasn't left the mansion.

During my stay in the mansion, this is the only place I haven't explored much. There are a total of five-room down here. I opened the first door, which is a storeroom. The second room was a gaming room that included different varieties of games and accessories. Pool table, table tennis, arcade basketball, darts, and a few more things which I don't know their names. The third one was a plain room without any decor. I wonder what this room is for.

Feeling weary, I opened the fourth room which was a gym room. As soon as I opened the door, the sound of something hitting reached my ears. The gym room was huge, painted in beige color. There were different types of dumbbells, kettlebells arranged neatly in a rack at one side of the room.

The center of the room was occupied by a boxing ring and two treadmills and a freestanding punching bag were pushed up against one wall along with a rack of gloves and towels. Three heavy punching bags were hanging from the wall at another side of the room and a shirtless Logan was beating the shit out of one of those. He was only wearing his sports shorts and his bareback was turned towards me, sweat dripping down his back. I watched the way his muscles flexed each time he lifted his arm to punch. Damn, he looks hot!

After a minute of shamelessly checking him out, I cleared my throat to get his attention. But it was in vain due to the loud hitting noise. I walked up to him before tapping on his shoulder. Within a fraction of second, Logan quickly turned around with his fist raised to strike me. I shrieked in response and closed my eyes in horror, waiting for the painful impact on my face. But the only thing I heard was his loud breathing. I slowly opened my eyes to see a gloved fist very near to my nose.

"F**k Karolia, you could've gotten yourself killed." He removed his gloves and took off the AirPods from his ears. He must have been hearing some loud music, maybe that's why he didn't hear me approaching him.

"I-I'm s-sorry. I didn't mean to s-scare y-you" I said, my heart still racing. That was very close. I mentally face-palmed myself at my stupidity for not being cautious. Remind me why I am dating a freaking boxer. Logan sighed heavily before pulling me closer by my waist. He pressed a soft kiss on my forehead.

"Never call someone like that when he's boxing. You understand me?" he asked and I nodded my head. I scrunch my nose.

"You stink." I pointed out. He chuckled at my openness.

"You stink." I pointed out. He chuckled at my openness.

"I know, love," he said and my stomach fluttered at his husky voice. My eyes widened when I realized that he called me love again. I guess it's alright between us now. He forgot everything that happened yesterday. That didn't take much time at all. Phewww.

He pulled away from me before walking towards the rack and picked a towel to wipe off his sweat.

"I made breakfast for you," I said, cheerily. He stiffened for a second before he turned to look at me and raised an eyebrow.

"Is this your way of asking forgiveness?" he asked. There it goes again. I should have known better. I gritted my teeth in anger as his words sank in. Forgiveness?

"Why should I ask for forgiveness?" I asked, crossing my arms across my chest.

"For lying and hiding important things from me." His gaze was hard and scrutinizing.

"I didn't lie to you." I gritted out, not being phased by his accusing stare.

"Is that so? Babe, you need to get your head seriously checked." In this sentence, I lost it. How dare he assume I have lost my mind? Hot anger was bubbling inside my body and I was this close at losing it.

"How dare you?" I took a step closer. "I'm saying it again, I didn't lie to you." Just admit it. My inner conscience kept on repeating but I shut it out.

Logan took a step forward and in an instant, he had invaded my personal space. I was attacked by his manly scent and his squared shoulders loomed over my entire body which made me feel extremely small in front of him. I looked up at his hard eyes.

"Then tell me Karolia Elizabeth Kingston, why did you meet Olivier yesterday?" My mind froze at that sentence. Something told me he knew but I refused to believe it since I didn't leave any doubt or suspicion of what I had done. I made sure I was being secretive, then how? Just how? I think my face displayed my question clearly because he answered it immediately.

"I didn't appoint my guards to buy things for you, love. They are for your protection and they know that very well if they want this job. That's the reason William followed you yesterday. He told me how you begged him to get you a book which he had to travel for two hours to get it. Good thing he didn't wait for my directions and followed you as he sensed something fishy. He immediately let me know that you were meeting with someone and sent me a photo as proof."

"Guards, guards, guards. I don't want protection anymore" I yelled, losing all my temper. "Now I also have to run from them as well." I'm angry at the fact that I couldn't do anything without being followed by someone. Hurt flashed in his eyes but I was too angry to give a damn about it.

"Why don't you get it, Karolia?" he finally raised his voice. "I'm trying to keep you safe here. Imagine the shock and worry I felt when I saw you with the person who tried to kill you. I'm trying to protect you from getting harmed and what do you do, go straight into the lion's den. How can you act so stupid?" He shouted. My eyes watered a bit at what he called me.

"I'm.not.acting.stupid." I uttered each and every word painfully slow, trying to control my ragging breath. His chest was rising in complete anger, fists clenched tightly.

"You don't get to call me that when all I am doing is facing my problems. I didn't want you to get involved in my mess and that's it. I don't want you to protect me, I'm not going to stay behind under your shadow like a coward, Logan. I want to fight back." I pinned him with my hard gaze. There was not a single sound for a moment as we stared into each other, trying to convey our emotions and frustrations. Logan released a loud sigh and looked away when it felt overwhelming.

'Look, I'm not saying that you are a coward, alright. I know you want to fight, I understand. But this is not a safe fight for you. There are no rules here and you could get hurt without me and I would never want that to happen. I won't be able to take it if something happened to you because of my carelessness and negligence. So, please let me protect you here." He took a step forward and the next thing he was cupping my face in his warm hands.

"How long? How long will you be able to protect me from my past?" I whispered audibly. I didn't have much of my strength left and I felt like I was breaking inside.

"As much as I can," he yelled back. "Why don't you trust yourself with me?" I can see he was getting agitated and I heard the hurt in his voice again.

"It's not that I don't trust you, Logan. I do. I really do. But this is bound to happen. There's no use in protecting me. They want me and they won't stop until they get me. So, it's better I deal with this alone." I pleaded with him to understand me.

"So, you're just giving your life to them on a silver platter. Wow, I expected more from you." he laughed humorlessly and looked away.

"No, I want to fight till the last of my breath but not by putting the lives of others at risk. I don't want to put anyone in danger."

"Karolia, you're not going to put me in danger. I can handle myself. Why can't you just understand the fact that I'm more than capable of protecting you and me? You don't have to sweat over this." he reasoned.

"It's not just you and me, Logan." I pleaded, my voice barely audible.

"Then who else?" he asked confused. I tensed at that. I wanted to slap myself to stop my big mouth from spilling everything.

"Ahhh, No one. Just leave it." I blinked rapidly and automatically looked away. My eyes widened when I was pulled into his hard chest a bit harshly.

"You're lying. There is someone.'' His eyes were searching mine and I felt like to crumble in a heap at that spot. Why can't I even lie properly to save my stupid ass?

"No, I'm not telling you. I don't want you to get involved in this mess." I shake my head. I pressed my hands on his bare chest and tried to push him but of course, it was all futile since he was just standing like a freaking wall. I felt a dying need to escape from this place and his presence for the first time.

"I'm already involved if it is something that concerns you, Karolia. So tell me." he pressured, his face was void of any emotions, unlike his hard demanding tone.

"No." I replied more sternly. The grip he had on me loosened and he ran his fingers through his slightly wet hair.

"Lia, I'm on the verge of losing my patience. Tell me, NOW." he said and stressed the last word. I flinched slightly at his authoritative voice.

"No, I won't. Stop meddling in my problems, Logan." I turned to leave, being done talking with him. If I stay any longer he will force me to say everything and I don't want that to happen.

"Don't you dare leave right now. We're not done talking," he says, pulling me back by my arm. I wrenched my hand out of his grip.

"Yes, we are done," I said and left the place. Soon my feet were swept off from the floor and before I knew it I was hanging upside down from a hard shoulder.

"Logan, you can't do this. Put me down." I shrieked, hitting his bareback with my fist.

"I said we are not done talking," he yelled back. I have no idea why we are yelling at each other. Logan entered into a room and dropped me on a couch not so softly. I turned to look at the place and realized it was the gaming room. Logan leaned forward, trapping me between his muscled arms.

"Who else are you afraid of getting hurt?" he asked again

"I said it's no one in particular. I just said it generally." I tried to reason with the lamest excuse because I was sure he won't leave me unless I tell him.

"You're lying, again." He said with his pursed lips.

"I told-"

"Logan, - oh" Logan immediately turned around. Grecia was standing near the threshold of the room and a woman was standing very close to her as if supporting Grecia. The woman looked to be in her mid-twenties and had a sweet smile but also a strict face.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know-" Logan cut her off by immediately rushing towards her.

"Mom, how did you reach? I told you I'll come and pick you up. Why do you have to rush? And you are supposed to be discharged only by noon." Logan kept on questioning her. I stood up from my current seat. Grecia smiled at me and rolled her eyes at Logan.

"I couldn't stand the hospital atmosphere any longer and the Doctor said I can leave if I want."

"But you could've called me," he said, running his fingers through his hair.

"Oh shut it, I'm not that frail that I can't travel alone."

"Mom." Logan warned. Grecia ignored him and looked at me.

"Hello, sweetheart," she said and pulled me into a hug as I walked towards her.

"Hello, Grecia. It feels great to have you back." I hugged her, softly. My gaze met with Logan who was staring hard at me. Our eyes held each other's gaze, trying to express the emotion which we couldn't verbally.

"I hope I wasn't interrupting your moment with Logan." Grecia pulled back and winked at me. Redness creeps to my cheeks and I shake my head, suddenly getting shy. I looked at the door and noticed that the lady wasn't standing there anymore. Who was she?

"Her name is Rebecca. She is a home nurse that the hospital appointed to look after me for a week. You know to observe my condition and help me around. I didn't really fancy the idea but it seems like my son here demanded it." Grecia said, giving Logan a hard glare. I tried to hide my smile when I saw Logan squirming. Gosh, I wish I had that effect on him.

I'm glad she left to give us some privacy. Seems like there will be one more person in this house for a week then.

"I'm so hungry," Grecia said, rubbing her stomach dramatically. I laughed while Logan continued staring at me blankly.

"I made breakfast." I'm glad that I decided to make extra food for breakfast.

"So you guys finish whatever you guys were doing while I go and fill my stomach." Grecia smirked. Logan rolled his eyes.

"I will come with you," I said quickly. Anything to get away from him, please.

"You sure?" Grecia asked, smirking. Only if she knew.

"Yes yes, come let's go," I said and immediately took her hand. I walked past Logan, ignoring his long hard gaze.

"I'll join after a shower." he mumbled.

****

After breakfast and catching up with Grecia, I left the mansion to attend my 11 am class. Logan dropped me off at the University. The atmosphere around us was very tense and it is evident he is still angry at me. Even when we reached the University, he didn't kiss me goodbye like he usually does. I didn't make an effort to kiss him either because of my self-esteem.

After my outburst at the gym room, Logan withdrew all of those guards who followed me everywhere. I didn't believe him at first but then he did do it. William was nowhere to be found and I was all by myself at the college. I'm glad that he understood my request, but why do I feel something is wrong with this whole idea? Like something else is coming up?

It was around the end of class when I received a phone call from someone I didn't expect now. I got out of the lobby from where I was waiting for Logan and went to the open area in front of the campus.

"Oliver, I thought we were not supposed to talk until the next week when we meet," I asked quietly.

"I think we might have to rethink this whole idea of you and me working together, Miss Kingston," Oliver said in his gruff tone. I froze on my track.

"Why would you have to reconsider it? We already talked about this. I told you everything, remember?" I tried to pursue him.

"But you never told me anything about Logan deciding to set his guards to follow me around now?" My eyes widened upon hearing that.

"What? Are you sure it's them?" I was not able to believe what he was saying.

"Trust me, Kingston. I know about his guards and how they work. I can never mistake them. We had a deal and I trusted you but I guess it's not the same way around." I face-palmed myself and was on the verge of crying on hearing that.

I never thought Logan would pull a stunt like that. I was so close to getting answers from Oliver. I had managed to manipulate Oliver but all that went downhill because of Logan. Frustration clouded my senses as I tried to think of a way to make Oliver stay on the deal.

"It's not what you think. You can trust me. I never knew Logan would do that, heck, I didn't even know how he got to know about you. I'm sure it's a misunderstanding, Oliver." I tried to reason pathetically.

"Anyway, give me some time. I have to reconsider my safety. If I am on Logan's watchlist then I have to think about this whole thing once again before I take my next step. I hope I don't make a mistake with this. Goodbye, Karolia."

With that, he ended the call. Tears of frustration filled my eyes after that phone call. My phone beeped with a message alert. I checked the phone to read the message from Logan asking me to wait for 10 minutes at the campus as he just finished his work at the office. I didn't text him back and turned the phone off and decided to take a cab to my apartment.

After everything that happened today, I just wanted to be left alone. The anger and frustration all took effect right now and I just want to get to my apartment room and cry with my head buried under the mattress. Why does everything have to be so hard when I finally take the matters into my own hands?

I reach the apartment in 15 minutes and as soon as I step foot in my bedroom I break down. I hate myself for coming to New York, I hate myself for befriending Grecia, I hate myself for every single decision that I had taken, heck I hate myself for being born now. It is just too much to go through in just one year of life.

I cried for what felt like hours but it had only been 20 minutes. I stopped crying as soon as I heard the front door of my apartment open. I heard Logan yelling my name but I didn't have the energy to respond. He barged the door open and his eyes frantically scanned the room before it landed on my crouched down self at the edge of the bed.

He exhaled audibly before running towards me and embracing me in a tight grip. I fell limp in his arms. I was angry at him but I didn't have the energy to fight back.

"You scared me. Why did you come to your apartment? I told you to wait for me at the university, didn't I?" Logan asked, still hugging me.

"I'm not your pet to obey all your orders, Logan." He seemed taken aback at my words as I felt him stiffen. "Why did you send your men to follow Oliver?" I didn't want to beat around the bush and came directly to the matter. He pulled back and looked at me.

"I'm sorry if it felt like I was ordering you. I will never do that. I just wanted you to be with me, that's it." He said softly before scanning my face with his hands. "What happened?" he asked, tracing my eyes which were red from crying.

"Answer me, Logan. Why did you send your men to follow Oliver?" I asked more forcefully this time getting out of his embrace.

"You said you didn't want my men to follow you anymore so I decided to follow him since he can be the only person who is capable of hurting you."

"Oliver will not hurt me," I stressed.

"How can you be sure of that? He hurt you in the past and what is the guarantee that he wouldn't do it again? You know he is a dangerous man." Logan hissed.

"Because we have a deal now, Logan," I shouted, my anger getting the best of me.

"A deal? Since when did you two have a deal? Ohh, was it when you went behind my back and met with him?" he asked accusingly.

"It was a deal to end the one person who caused suffering for both me and Oliver. And I didn't go behind your back Logan, I was trying to protect you, Grecia, Scarlet, Patrick and even the child that is growing inside Scarlet. Why won't you let me do that? Why do you keep ruining all of my plans?"

"What are you talking about? Patrick's child? Why do you have to protect someone who is not even born yet?" He asked, seemingly confused.

"Since everything happened because of me, Logan. Every single accident happened because of me." I stressed the word 'accident'. He went still.

"What do you mean?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.

I went to my cupboard to pull out all those notes that I received as threats and warnings. I decided not to throw them away and keep it in case I wanted any evidence. But I'm done with hiding everything. It's of no use hiding this from him. I feel like I can't get out of this guilt of not telling him everything. I thought I was protecting him by keeping him in the dark but one or the other way he will find it out and I want that to be through myself rather than from any other source. I want to stay truthful to him and I just hope it's not too late for that.

I placed all the notes on the bed and gave him time to go over everything. Meanwhile, I prepared myself to spill the meaning behind all of those chits. I readied myself for the rejection I was about to face.

"Grecia went into a coma state because of me. That accident took place because of me. Scarlet was nearly killed because of me. Is this enough? And you know what, Oliver isn't the one who did all this." I told him with a low voice. Logan was stiff, his hands clenched at his sides while scanning every line of the notes.

He looked as if he was ready to kill someone right now. He looked ferocious. His breathing increased and he backed away from me and the bed. He looked at me and his expression broke my heart. He looked torn. I was able to understand the mental battle that was going on in his head. He wanted to confront me but he was afraid of hearing it again, confirming it again that it was because of me that his dear mother nearly lost her life. He barged out of the room at once and I heard the front door shut with a loud bang.

I broke to my knees once again. But this time it was for a different reason. It was because of fear of losing the love of my life.

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