B-22. The Gear Heart

Iceland; Climbers Household

After escaping Azkaban, Team Facilier took refuge in Sonny and Donna's house on Oil Ice Mountain. It was a pretty log cabin with hunting gear and meat that their parents collect from their travels. The living room had a stuffed polar bear with purple shorts and sunglasses. It creeped Wendy out.

The blue-haired mage-in-training awoke on her small, but cozy guestroom bed. Carla was asleep at the foot of the bed, and looked more peaceful and cozy than Wendy did. Carla's wing had a bandage wrapped around the hole. Wendy smiled, remembering how everyone saved her. She was so grateful, and felt bad that Carla was injured.

"Carla." She reached over and shook the kitten. "It's morning. Wakey wakey."

"Mmmmm…" Carla's slanted brown eyes peeped open. The blurry image before her morphed into the clear form of her young master. "Is it time for food?…"

"Are you hungry, Carla?" Wendy grinned.

"Well, cats usually ask for food in the morning… and I feel more like an average cat." She flexed her wing lightly.

"Don't be silly. You're smarter than the average cat!"

"Hm hm hm! Then I should make use of my intelligence and steal a family's picnic basket."

"Or make a bunch of equations that could catch an ostrich!"

"Hm hm, perhaps!" Carla hopped off the bed as Wendy got up. The kitten brushed against her legs and purred. "Good morning, Master."

"Since when do you call me 'Master'?"

"Oh, you'd be surprised how a pet's behavior changes when her master is gone for so long."

Wendy picked Carla up and faced her. "I don't wanna be your master. I wanna be your friend!"

"…" Carla returned the gesture with a soft smile. "Thank goodness, because it's a real shame when the brains is not the master."

"Exactly! …W-WAIT!" Wendy flushed.

"Hyou walked right into that one!" Carla laughed.

When the two entered the living room- "Wendy Carla, Cendy Warla!" Sonny and Donna bounced out to greet them. They wore a green and yellow sweater, black pants, and socks.

"Hello, you two." Carla smiled.

"Look! We don't have white hair anymore!" Sonny beamed.

"We're not becoming sad old people!" Donna followed.

"And we're not dying to save a fish's life!"

"We had to put them by the fireplace until they warmed up." Their father, Popo said. He was a handsome, robust man with similar clothes to the twins, but a blue sweater. "They were in some kind of Ice Fury. I've never seen it before."

"If we didn't warm them, they would've turned into kidsicles!" Nana cheered. The mother had long brown hair and wore a pink sweater.

"THEY TASTE LIKE YOUTH!" The four Climbers jumped.

"…The parents look like they're twins." Wendy whispered, staring awkwardly.

"Indeed." said Carla.

"OH, FLOOP!" An explosion came from the kitchen. The six people looked in to see Fegan Floop covered in soot. "Eh… I tried making a cooking robot out of some firewood I found outside. In retrospect, it might've… misunderstood its programming."

"Having strangers in our house is fun!" Popo and Nana sang.

"That reminds me, Mr. Facilier is waiting for you downstairs." Nana said. "Don't keep him waiting!"

Wendy, Carla, and the twins walked down to the basement. It was pitch-black, but a faint light revealed the doctor's silhouette on the other side. "Young mages and magic enthusiasts: Dr. Facilier presents the relocation of the Voodoo Emporium: VOILA!" Lights flashed on, revealing the boxes and assortments of magical items on shelves.

"Woooow!" Wendy gaped in awe. "It looks just like the old one!"

"It is! After we escaped Azkaban, I got in contact with my Friends on the Other Side. They slurped up every last artifact and moved it all here before them Aurors ever had a chance to notice! From now on, business will take place here. You see that door?" Facilier pointed on their right. "It's connected to the door to the old shop in Cleveland! When people knock on it, namely my old customers, I'll be able to see and let 'em on in!"

"That's amazing! I'm glad your customers can still come to see you."

"But the Government can just as easily find us again." Carla said. "Won't it be safer to close down shop?"

"Girl, we can't close this down!" Facilier flapped his arms, emphasizing his logic. "Magic ain't just some product, it's a living thing, it needs life and love! People need to explore the wonder of magic, especially them everyday folk who doubt it exists!"

"He's right, Carla." Wendy smiled, doing a twirl. "Magic is all so wonderful! You can do anything you want and possibilities are endless!"

"And what's more, due to that chaos up in Washington, the Government's all sorts of disorganized!" Facilier grinned.

"Oh, yeah. I'm glad we got to go to Mr. Uno's funeral. I enjoyed it. …!" Wendy flushed when she retraced her words. "I MEAN, I didn't enjoy it, I hated it! -! I MEAN, I'm upset that Cheren's father is dead, but I'm glad that… um…" She looked away, cheeks still red, "It feels like we're friends now."

"When people share emotions, it brings them closer together. You'd be surprised how strong sadness is in that regard."

Wendy perked up. "I just remembered! When I was sucked into that portal, I landed in a different universe. There was a place called Fairy Tail—it had Chelia, and Romeo, a-and Carla; there was a cat person like you, and there was-"

"Wait wait wait, one at a time, Child!" Carla shouted.

"Mr. Facilier, where'd the stretchy lady go??" Donna interrupted.

"Who, Madame Rouge? You can't expect her to stay in one place too long. She needs to stretch her limbs and fly – or trot, depending what animal she changes into."

"Excuse me, I think Wendy was going to tell us a story." Carla reminded.

"I know that," argued Donna, "that's why I'm sad that Stretchy Lady has to miss it!"

"And I want popcorn!" Sonny pouted.

"Actually, before I do," Wendy began, "…I was wondering if I could use the Floo thing to go to Lee's house. I talked to him at the funeral and promised we would meet up…"

"Wendy, I really think you should just lay low here." said Carla. "In spite of what the doctor says, the Government may be trying even harder to find you. I don't mind getting in trouble, but anybody else could be endangered-…" Her words were making Wendy upset, Carla noticed. "Um…on second thought… perhaps you shouldn't keep him waiting. You deserve as many friends as you want."

"Aye." Harvey nodded. "Plus, if she's going to a KND sector, the Gov' will have to deal with the KND. I don't think they want that right now. So of course y'all can go to Lee's house!"

"Thank you." Wendy bowed her head. "Ahem… So, my story… I got separated from Kayla and landed in a forest…"

The sky somewhere

On a chilly, starry night, the Marzipan Pirates decided to rest on a small Island Cloud. They slept next to their parked plane and listened to the peaceful music of the Mariachi Owls, whom were drifting on a different cloud. "Welcome, faithful viewers, to another chapter of Augustus's Candied Adventure." The band leader said. "Here, our intrepid explorers are weary from traveling through time, clashing with enemy pirates, and having nothing to eat but candy. They have come here to rest for the unbearable trials ahead."

Ohhhhh the Stone Fist Augustus

And his four young crewmen

They got in a fuss with

Some demonic women…

"How long are they gonna follow us…" Rallo moaned in aggravation.

"They're just sad because someone they know died." Augustus said. "Even though they foreshadowed his death, like, 20 years ago."

And we know how Augustus

Does with the ladies

He certainly likes them

With skirts and braidies

His eyes widened. "Um…what is this song about, exactly?"

When he's not hunting candy

They're always on his mind

From nearly the PM

To the AM of nine

Stewie, Rallo, and Maggie crawled away from the captain, looking creeped out.

These notes are believable

Just take it from meeee

We-put-cameras-in-his-room-on-Whole-Cake

Just so we can see

"GYAAAH!" Augustus snatched one of Stewie's weapons, shot the cloud the owls were on, and watched them plummet to the sea. "Sigh…" The captain lay back down.

Nel crawled up on Augustus's chest and stretched her arms in a hugging position as she slept. "Pterodactyl song make Aughsucks attractive."

"Ugh…"

"Why haven't we gone to Kamabaka, yet?" Stewie asked. "It was right there."

"Because Mandy's ship was sailing around it, Dummy. Like they waiting for us. But it's gone now, so maybe they gave up. First thing in the morning, we'll fly there and look for the Gear Heart."

Boogey Bay

Captain Mandy returned to her cabin with a half-drunk bottle of rum in one hand. "Did we enjoy ourselves?" said Lord Licorice with a wry smile, sitting on Mandy's throne.

"Didn't I tell you you can't be in here without my permission?"

"Somebody had to." The Candy Lord stood up. "Still think His Majesty rules with bias intent? He was quite fond of Mr. Uno, too. Imagine the pain he felt in executing him. I wish we hadn't have left Kamabaka just so you could attend his funeral."

"I had to." Mandy sat herself on the throne. "I owe Rachel that much, at least."

"Balderdash! You helped her slay a powerful Demon King when you were children, what more can she want from you? I, on the other hand, have a job to complete. I can easily persuade His Majesty to have the Fairy Princess captured, no matter where she may be… but I can use the same powers of authority to have you assassinated by the Cipher Pols. So, Captain Mandy, we had better get back to hunting those Lost Candies ASAP! Since the job involves taking revenge on Captain Augustus, you can't possibly want to refuse."

Mandy glared at the lord. "Why are you so fixated on these lame candies, anyway? What do you, the King of the World's dog, have to gain from expending all your time and energy trying to find them?"

"The King's orders are absolute! That is all I will tell you. I will send word to the other pirate crews to secure the locations of the other Lost Candies. We are to make sail to Kamabaka again soon. On your command, 'Captain.'" Licorice exited the cabin.

"Hmm… Understood." Mandy stood up and moved her throne aside. She opened a secret hatch on the wall and pulled out a dusty book with cobwebs dangling from it. Fairy Sisters: Sugar Fairies. "After all… it's not like the Lost Candies peak my interests as well."

Kamabaka Kingdom, the next day

Like Augustus promised, he flew his crew to Kamabaka when morning hit. The island's most notable features were towering cliffs that were shaped like hearts at the top, composed of red and pink trees. There was a treehouse on top of the biggest mountain, the base of Sector KB.

The Ace Flyer landed at the base of a path going up through a forest, and would lead up the mountains. "Sorry the wait was so long, but here we are: the island with the weird name." Augustus announced with little enthusiasm. "The bushes in this forest are lush with natural-growing heart candy, and at the top of this mountain lies the Gear Heart. We may just be able to find it without setting into town whatsoever."

"You got a problem with this town?" Rallo remarked.

"Nah." Augustus opened a new lollipop. "I don't care if we do or not. It's just hard to find any ladies that'll smooch me." He smirked before starting the lolli.

"Aughsucks want female to mate with?" Nel smiled.

"Still too young, Nel. And at the same time way too old. O-kay, pre-stage banter done, on-stage banter starts now." (Play "Deep Woods" from Sonic and the Black Knight!)

Stage B-18: Lovely Hill

Mission: Find the Gear Heart!

Boko Babas grew out of the ground, likely planted there by the Boogey Pirates. Augustus sliced them with little struggle using his new Lemon Candycane Cutlass. They came to a gorge where they would have to swing vines to the opposite ledge, and said vines had small red hearts on their ends. They were too far apart, and when Augustus threw his Gobstopper at the closest one, it wouldn't even budge. "Hmm…I remember reading about this place in a book. Everything in this forest only reacts to love."

"Welp, I guess it was now or never." Stewie said. "Come here, Rallo."

"NOT LIKE THAT!" August shouted. "We have to use certain Heart Candies to make things react!"

"Oh! Well, of course I was only just kidding… of course." Stewie blushed.

"I wanna file a restraining order when we get back." Rallo said.

They jumped down into the gorge and saw two monkeys with strange helmets eating Heart Candies by a bush, with the candies popping in their mouths. The helmets had red lights on them. When the monkeys spotted the pirates, they chucked the Pop Hearts at them, but Augustus punched the monkeys unconscious before Stewie shot his net gun to capture them. Augustus fed some of the Pop Hearts to Nel and used her to shoot the heart vines. The hearts inflated as the vines began swinging back and forth, allowing the pirates to swing across the gorge.

A gentle rain began to pour, but the morning sun was still shining bright through the clouds. The Marzipans needed to use their Corn-Clamber Boots to climb a cliff to the next area, but the wall would not allow the spikes to penetrate it. There was a puddle of reddish water that looked like Kool-Aid down in a corner of some trees. Augustus cut away the Kool Chus guarding it and stepped their Clamber Boots in the puddle, imbuing them with love apparently and enabling the team to step up the cliffside.

They stood on the shore of a Kool-Aid river, with lilipad-hearts floating in it. The hearts were too light for Augustus to stand on, and naturally, he was the only one who could swim in the river. The captain dove under and struggled to see through the bright redness. At the bottom of the deep river, four Dexihands were surrounding a Gold Wonka Bar, so Augustus chopped the ghoulish cyan hands before claiming the candy. He resurfaced and swam further down, seeing all the taller Heart Flowers that they would eventually have to jump. He saw a platform with some Shrink Sweets and took some.

Augustus hurriedly swam back to the four children and climbed back on shore. "Sigh, sorry that took so long. We'll eat these and Nel will carry us." He handed the other three a Shrink Sweet.

"Why do we need these when Stewie has a shrink ray?" Rallo questioned.

"'Cause we respect the stage design." Augustus threw his lolli stick in the river. "Now get shrimpy, Shrimpy."

After the four minimized, Nel picked them up and put them in the holes of her skull mask. The cavechild was light enough to jump on the lili-hearts. Some of the hearts had Bio Boko Babas latched underneath, so when Nel stepped on their lilipad, the plant monsters would flip it over, forcing Nel to jump quickly. The river turned right and more narrow as Nel jumped up a stairway of Heart Flowers, landing on a safe platform. She jumped two more Heart Flowers, dodging the Skulltula that dropped down and tried to bite her. Nel landed on a thin ledge on the right wall, with only enough room for her small feet as she sidled across. She got parallel with a path on the opposite side, and the cavegirl made a nimble pounce across.

When Nel was about to venture through a thin path of the rainforest, a swarm of bees began swarming around her head. "Aaaaahh! They like Rex Bees, but small! Nel sorry for taking honey!" she yelled as she tried to swat them away.

"Just keep moving, Nel! Maggie will shoot them!" Augustus yelled. Nel pranced through the path on all fours as Maggie blasted missiles full of bug-repellant at the (giant to her) bees. Nel jumped a fallen tree and dodged right to avoid a Boko Baba. Nel turned left and pounced up a stairway of Heart Flowers, with Maggie continuously shooting upcoming bee swarms so the cavegirl could get through a curtain of heart vines. They stood upon a cliff overlooking the town, the morning sun shining beautifully through the rain clouds.

Nel set her friends on a rock with some Growth Gum, watching as they stretched big again. "You were a big help, Nel." Augustus said, noticing her swollen features due to the bee stings. "It doesn't hurt too badly, does it?"

"Mm-mm." Nel shook. "Nel use love to run!"

"Heh heh…" The captain blushed. He lifted Nel over his shoulders to ride. They had to cross another cliffside with Corn-Clambers, but their boots needed a love source. A couple Kool-Aid Chuchus appeared close by, so Augustus sliced them into puddles. The four pirates stepped their clamber boots in the liquid to walk on the cliff. They could drop on an upcoming ledge, but Stewie saw three Pipo Monkeys below, catching Kool-Aid droplets from the cliff in their mouth. He proceeded to catch the apes in nets.

After landing on the ledge, the Marzipans viewed a rainbow road that stretched over the town, had many curves, and would go higher up the mountain. There was a bushel of Rock Candy, but when Augustus waved his hand through the rainbow, it waved and felt like mist. Further down the ledge was a rainbow waterfall, so he and the Baby Trio encased their selves in a Rock Candy sphere to roll to it. Heart-shaped panels stuck in and out of the ledge and threatened to push them off. The crew waited for each heart to retract as they reached the waterfall, rolled under, and drenched the rock spheres in its neon colors.

The crew returned to the rainbow road, and the rainbow-powered spheres were able to touch and ZOOM over the rainbow. They would've liked to admire the scenery as they were soaring over the town, but they had to focus on the road. There were holographic, rotating flowers on the rainbow, and when Augustus hit them rolling by, a slope tilted down from above and let them onto a higher path, where they rammed a Pipo Monkey that was forced up onto the ball.

The rainbow road began to zoom up and around the main mountain, during which they had to jump huge globs of water that rolled down from ahead. There were more flower cogs that the captain had to strike before jumping the water balls, and hitting all three would open an alternate route that curved along the right of the main road. They caught another Pipo Monkey, and the rainbow road reached its end over a cliff. The monkeys fell off Augustus's shattered rock sphere and became dizzy as Stewie caught them.

It turns out that a large eyeball lodged in a ledge was crying the water balls. The explorers climbed a few steps before looking over a barren, gray ravine. They jumped into it, suspecting some type of blockage to be behind this. "Mw-mw." Maggie turned around and indicated the blockage to her teammates: two giant stone eyes (with eyelashes) were twitching due to the small rocks lodged in their lids. "This is a weird level." Stewie said.

"Help them out, Ralls." August ordered, starting a new lollipop.

"Don't use nicknames." Rallo activated his afro stereos and stuck his head into the cracked wall under the eyes. By shaking the earth, the rocks fell out of the eyes and they started crying waterfalls. Augustus grabbed Rallo out and ran as the ravine started flooding. The crew climbed a short ladder up to a dry canal and kept running from the pursuing flow. More Cry Eyes were dropping water bombs from above, but they were a minor nuisance. At the end of the canal, they arrived at a small lake that was only partly filled, but thanks to the restored flow, it rose to full height.

Augustus grabbed the four kids and held them in the brief seconds it took to swim to the left shore, an arduous task with all four weighing him down. They had to catch their breath before studying their next puzzle: there were four platforms with heart switches, connected to pipes that ended at a stairway of deactivated water spouts. There was a Bounce Gum on the shore, and Augustus decided to attempt this puzzle himself first. He bounced over to the closest platform with a heart switch – he squished a Kool Chu that materialized, drenched his gum in its substance, and released the Kool-Aid when his gum pressed the switch.

August bounced three normal platforms to reach the next switch – it didn't activate and the gum popped. The third platform had another one next to it with a Kool Chu. Augustus swam back to shore to repeat the puzzle, this time hitting the Chu and pressing the second switch. He then had to bounce on the shells of two large turtles, before the third turtle would serve as a boost to the switch. However, August continuously bounced on the turtle as it swam beside a platform with the Kool Chu, smashed it, then pressed the switch. From there, Augustus bounced some lilipads that sunk after one bounce. The Kool Chu spawned on a small lilipad which surprisingly withstood Augustus's weight, then he pushed the fourth switch.

The Baby Trio used Bounce Gums to cross a row of platforms that served as a shortcut to the right shore. They all smashed some available Kool Chus so their gum would be permitted onto the stairway of now-active water spouts, setting foot on the ledge above. They were almost at the top of the mountain, but their path was blocked by a series of brick walls, and wooden towers with Bulblin archers perched on top. "Stewie, you're the only one who hasn't had a role in this stage, yet." Augustus remarked. "Any ideas to get through here nice and easy?"

"Well, since this level revolves a lot around Kool-Aid, why not now? HEY, Kool-Aid!"

An unexcited Kool-Aid Guy appeared from their left. "You know the deal, kid. It's five bucks to drink it, ten bucks to ride it."

"Twenty Chocolate Dollars to burst all the way through here." Augustus gave him the candy money.

"You got it. Alright, everyone hop into my liquid." The pirates climbed into the giant pitcher. The Kool-Aid charged, broke through each brick wall, and tore the Bulblin towers down as well. "I'm gonna need a refill!" When Kool-Aid ran around a snakelike path in the jungle, Augustus directed him left and right to hit the Kool Chus and refuel him. They came to an open field, where Kool-Aid smashed open some cages with Pipo Monkeys hiding in them. He had to run around and get aligned with a series of stairway platforms, starting with the lowest one and jumping up each as they brought him to a high path with another wall to break through.

They were on a thin ledge on the side of the mountain, with a great view of the island below. Kool-Aid ran up a curve, going up a vertical path before Augustus yanked him and signaled to jump. Kool-Aid jumped a spike trap and ran up another wall, then jumped to the next path. He ran up a vertical path that took place behind a waterfall, having to jump between this one and a parallel path. His liquid poured out faster, so while there were no obstacles, he had to jump to where the Kool Chus appeared.

The Kool-Aid Man made it to the top of Lovely Mountain, where a rainbow arched over the summit. They bid the Kool-Aid Guy farewell and progressed, with rain continuing to pour through the sunlight. They found the source of the mountain's waterfall, a lake where two figures were dancing and skiing as though the water was frozen. (End song.)

"LAAAA!" One of them was a black-haired boy dressed like a swan. "Mwaaaaa!" The other was a fat, yellow monkey with banana-shaped lips, green hair, wearing a Pipo Helmet and underwear that… was not quite big enough.

"Can you dance better than meeeee?" Bon Clay Jr. sang.

"We'll just have to seeeee!" Yellow Monkey sang.

"WHEEEEEEE!" They skied close to and began twirling in the center, making graceful poses.

"What the HELL is this?" Augustus snapped.

"Yes, if they're going to figure skate, where are all the snowballs?" Stewie asked. "Figure-skating's always better when you throw a few-"

"STEWIE!" August stopped him. "Your sentences man, I…I don't like some of your sentences!"

"Nel from past." Nel said, still holding on the teen's shoulders. "Nel don't get references."

"Yaaaaah yaaaaaah yaaaaaah!" The two figures kept dancing in place. Then, Clay and Yellow, with smirks on their faces, both swung a kick at each other. "OOOOWW!" Bon Clay took the blow and splashed in the non-solid water.

"Uh-uh-uuuuhhh!" Yellow twirled to a halt and wagged his finger. "You have to do better than that to touch me, Sweetheart! Honestly, have you looked at yourself in a mirror lately? How grodyyyyy!"

"Pleh, pleh!" Clay resurfaced. "At least my style comes from natural talent! I have my OWN heart to give me power! My own LOOOOOVE!" He spun and emerged from the water, making a pose as he stood on the liquid again.

"It doesn't matter to me where love comes from." The Freaky Monkey took out a pinkish-red heart, with bars that one would find on a gear, and hugged it. "As long as it tastes sensulicious!" He licked it.

"It's the Gear Heart!" Augustus exclaimed, drawing his sword. "Hey, Chunky Ko-!" He splashed in the lake when he tried to run over.

"Un! Deux! Yaaaaaaa!" Bon Clay skied by when Augustus resurfaced. "You're just gonna drop on in without showing so much as a pint of feeling? Get on outta here before you filthify this lake!"

"But I wanna help you beat him!"

"I am delighted by the offer, but you shan't need to fear!" Clay twirled. "This dirty monkey invaded mah treehouse and assaulted my pals! It's high time for his just desserts."

"When are you gonna get it through your cute little head?" Yellow Monkey swayed his hip. "You can kick me and smack me as much as you want, but I'm so much more beautiful!"

"Sector KB does not belong to you, Flashy Hat Monkeys! Even if I die, I shall continue to dance against you until you fall flat on your bubbly belly!"

"Hoo hooooo! If you were looking for a way to stir my hair follicles, you might have just found it, Sweetie Feathers." Yellow winked.

"Then our battle for the fate of Kamabaka begins right now!" Clay made a fighting pose.

"I'll look forward to keeping your beaten body as my priiiize!"

"Then let's go! UN!"

"DEUX!"

"HEEEEEEY!" Both stretched an arm, crossing each other's like an 'X', and their epic battle commenced. (Play "Hippos on Ice" from Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time!)

Boss fight: Yellow Monkey

Both fighters put hands on their hips and skated circles around the center. They spun around and stretched one leg out, blinking flirtingly at the Pipo Cameras recording them. Clay and Yellow reunited at the center, holding each other's arms as they swung kicks behind them. Yellow hugged Clay to his belly and jumped, then they held each other by one arm and rotated in place. Yellow spun faster and hurled Clay away, but the Sector Leader recomposed quickly and skated along the very edge of the lake. Yellow Monkey glided after him like a graceful ugly duckling. When Yellow was getting close, Clay swung a kick up, Yellow ducked and tried to grab him, but Clay dodged back, leapt over, and stamped Yellow in the head.

The monkey wobbled around dizzily, giving Clay the chance to kick him from behind and slide Yellow across the surface on his belly. (Again, we're assuming both of them are male.) Yellow's head slammed against the side, but the ape recovered as his vocals vibrated in anger. "Ooo-hoo-hoo-ho-o-o-o!" With that, both opponents returned to the center, facing each other as they did a Russian squat dance. They skied around for a second—then quickly threw punches at each other before Clay was slid away again.

Yellow Monkey drew the Gear Heart and slurped all over it before placing it back on his back. The ape glowed red and spun faster, exploding with hearts that flew everywhere. Bon Clay dodged the hearts and tried to kick Yellow Monkey, but the ape leaped over like a grasshopper and kicked the boy in the back. Clay spun about-face and kicked back against the wall to propel forward, but Yellow had already skied up to punch him in the gut. Yellow followed with a combo of punches before throwing one at Clay's back and sliding him forward.

Yellow Monkey smooched the Gear Heart like a man making out with his pillow. His lips seemed to stretch when he pulled his face away, but it was actually a light-red sticky goop-like energy rope linking his mouth to the heart. He stretched it longer before the rope snapped off the Gear Heart, and Yellow spun before whipping it at Bon Clay. The Okama caught the whip on his mouth, around his puckered lips, and it seemed like his and Yellow's lips were linked. Both dancers stared at each other with wide, sparkling eyes. They rotated around a center and were steadily pulling close. The sun seemed to shine on their moment. They grabbed each other, leapt in the air, and their faces moved closer…

Clay smirked, forced his momentum down and pulled Yellow with him as the ape smashed his helmet against the water-ground. Clay sliced the energy-rope with his bladed swan slipper, kicked Yellow in the belly, and rolled him against the side of the lake. Yellow got up and huffed, showing his rear to Clay as he skied away. Clay was making the same movements, except he was skiing backwards and following Yellow. When he caught up, both figures bent forward, reached behind to link hands, and their rears… okay, don't need to know that part.

The Marzipan Pirates didn't know what they were watching, and they didn't know why they were still watching. This was supposedly a boss battle, but the momentum sort of shifted a lot. "Does everyone in Futur do this?" Nel asked.

"No sentient person does this, Nel." Augustus said.

"Do they actually hate each other?" Stewie asked. "I feel like they're either friends or rivals."

Clay and Monkey kicked away from each other, circled the center in opposite ways, and when they reunited, Yellow grabbed Clay, who allowed the monkey to lead. Both of them had bright, dreamy smiles, and never felt closer with one-another. Yellow Monkey raised Clay high, making him feel like the graceful swan he is. Yellow then put Clay on his back and stretched his arms like he were an airplane. With a big smile, Clay stood and faced the opposite direction, posing like a lookout.

Bon Clay jumped off as they skied away from each other. "Heeeeey!" Clay called as Yellow faced him. The Sector Leader held the Gear Heart up.

"Ooooooh!" Monkey's mouth shaped like an 'o', and was likely meant to say 'For me?'

"There's really not any conflict here, is there?" Augustus threw his dry lollipop away.

The Kool-Aid Guy sat a few feet away, smoking a cigar. "You kids ever see Paul Blart?"

Yellow smiled with graciousness, his hands open as he welcomed the boy back. Bon Clay flew over and set the Gear Heart in his hands, the two of them spinning in place. But then Clay yanked the heart and pulled Monkey over, kicking him in the stomach, and when Yellow hunched over, Bon Clay STOMPED his Pipo Helmet and broke it. The chubby monkey splashed in the water, leaving Clay to keep the Gear Heart. "The thing about love is it always HURTS in the end!" He smirked. (End song.)

"WHOOOOPEE! And the battle is won by ME!"

"That will never, in a million years, be classified as a battle!" Augustus retorted. "Dude, how are you standing on the water?"

"Because I got love in me, of course! From the soles of mah slippers to the ends of my hair." Clay tugged one of his hair strands. "I'm guessing you had to solve those silly little puzzles on your way up here."

"Yep, and I will be glad when it's time to leave. Give us that Gear Heart you got there."

"No ho ho ho way." Clay wagged a finger. "I know who you are, Augustus Fizzy Pants. Cherry Boy told me how you kidnapped his lady. He told me what you done with Big Gorilla. I don't think I want you havin' this handy-dandy heart."

"What does the Gear Heart do, anyway?" Rallo asked.

"Gives ya energy!" Clay beamed. "Gives ya loooove! 'Long as you had it, you could just keep going and going and going and going and going and GOIIIIIING!" He spun repeatedly before coming to a stop. "But you'll go POOP the moment you put it down. So don't think I'm going to give it to you. My family has been protecting the Gear Heart for five thousand YEARS!"

"REALLY??" The crew gaped.

"Nah. I'm just an average citizen."

"D'OOH." They drooped.

"But this tasty piece of candy has been here a long time. It's our sacred treasure! Legends say it was given to us by fairies. A band of dirty pirates like you could never comprehend the value of a treasure like this. Why, you'd sooner toss it in your gut and-"

"ULP." Nel's stomach tightened. "Oh… Nel feel… PLEAAH!" She coughed the Cupcake Core onto the ground.

"Heh?" Clay raised a brow.

Augustus picked the cupcake up and wiped it clean. "For your information, we've been searching for these candies all month. They're called the Lost Candies, and there's six of them. According to the Sugar Fairy Princess, they were created by Termina Giants."

"Termina Giants?…" Bon Clay remembered that part from Cheren's story. "But what are these candies for?"

"The truth is, we don't know. But the Fairy Princess said the Illuminati – whom I assume is the World Government – is trying to destroy them. I'm trying to find them and protect them from Lord Licorice. He's under the employ of the King of the World."

Bon Clay frowned – a rare sight even to this crew. Augustus's words seemed to stir memories in him.

"I really admired you, Clay. I would have followed you forever." Alexei said. "That was a mistake of my own. I found a real man to follow."

"…" Clay stared at the Gear Heart before looking up at Augustus. "I still don't think I should give this to you. You hurt Cherry Boy's friend."

"Who the heck is Cherry Boy, your boyfriend?"

"NO… though he is pretty… Perhaps 'Panini' is the key word here."

"Oh, right." Augustus looked away. "Fine, I'll admit that I was a bad guy in the past. I worked with Big Mom for my own selfish goals. The only thing I loved was adventure, and…and I still do. But now I'm actually trying to do something good for somebody – for a lot of people, by finding the Lost Candies."

"And tell me something, if you don't know what these Lost Candies are gonna do, how do you know you're doing something good for anyone, huh? ?"

"BECAUSE I AM, alright?! Ugh, it's pointless to try and convince you, can I just have the stinkin' heart?"

"Alright then: show me how much you love the person you're doing this for. If you can walk across the water and get to me, I'll let you have it."

"Um…er…" Augustus looked at the water, unsure if he could do this.

"You don't even know Luviro that well, do ya?" Rallo asked.

"There's gotta be some trick to it. Like-" Augustus stepped in the water and splashed in.

"That ain't it." Clay shook.

Augustus climbed out and huffed in annoyance. He calmed himself and pictured Luviro in his mind. Pale white skin, wrapped almost fully in blankets… Augustus stepped in and splashed in the water again. He climbed out and proclaimed, "This is stupid! I can't just magically walk on water like Jesus or Sonic! The only reason you and that monkey can do it is 'cause you were raised on this island of magic Kool-Aid, so it's totally-…" Nel hummed a little tune as she walked on the surface, looking down to make sure her feet were on the water. "Wh… Nel?"

She turned and faced him, making a balancing posture as though she might fall. "Nel think of Aughsucks. Maybe Aughsucks think of Nel?"

"…" Augustus closed his eyes to think. He first started this adventure to find the Lost Candies for Luviro. He met Luviro seven months ago and promised to find them. But he neglected his promise to help Big Mom find Candied Planet. Because he would've loved to find Candy Planet, the world of endless adventure for all candy hunters. He would've loved to explore that world for the rest of his life. But Big Mom's true intention was to make Earth into a Candy Planet.

Augustus detested the plan… Not only would it not be the adventure of a lifetime, but it would've poisoned everyone. At first, Augustus didn't mind harming a few innocents to find the lost planet, but after learning it was Big Mom's only intention… he felt disgusted inside. He wished he spent this time finding the Lost Candies than being Big Mom's dog. He felt like granting Luviro's wish would make up for it all. He really wanted to help him.

Augustus stepped over the water—splashed in once again. "COME ON, I really gave that one some thought!"

"I guess your passion ain't strong enough." Clay taunted.

"JUST GIMME THE FREAKIN' HEART!" Augustus hurriedly swam after Clay, who skied across the watery surface. "You damn flamingo-swan-whatever, I'm gonna cook you into turkey and eat you for-!"

"Just give him the heart, Clay." A girl's soft voice said.

"Oh?" Clay looked over and smiled. "Hiya, Sapphy! You really think it's okay?"

"Yes." Sapphire nodded. "Trust me. It will be a major help to us."

"Well, Sapphy doesn't lie. It's all yours." He dropped the Gear Heart on Augustus in the water.

The captain resurfaced. "Um…thanks. See you later, Sector Weird." He and his crew began their long journey down the mountain.

"You know, fellas, Sapphy's a real good telepath." Clay told them. "She could predict what those candies are gonna do."

"That's okay." Augustus waved. "It's no adventure if we know what'll happen!"

"I knew he would say that." Sapphire said tonelessly. "And I didn't need psychic."

Augustus stuffed the Gear Heart and Cupcake Core in the Ace Flyer's trunk. "Couldn't you-a thought of your mom or dad to walk on that water?" Rallo asked as they climbed in the plane.

"Yeah, but I ain't doing it for them. Anyway, now that we have the Gear Heart, and still including Zeira's Sugar Fuel, we have four Lost Candies and two left to find. And one of them happens to be the Sun Cream."

"Perhaps I can use my Metahuman Neutralizer to purify the intoxicated Sun Cream pool." Stewie thought aloud.

"Maybe, but I still can't believe a metahuman power could affect a Lost Candy. We might've missed something back on Buttermilk. So let's fly there ASAP!" Augustus started the plane. "Now that my Haki's back, I ain't afraid of those Willy Wonka Wannabes!"

The pirates flew away from the island. Moments later, a S.C.A.M.P.E.R. landed on the same spot, and Team Emily stepped out. "Alright guys, time for our next monkey-hunting exploration!" Emily Garley declared. "We are going to catch every monkey on this island and save Sector KB! …?"

A bunch of monkeys trapped in nets were bundled at the start. They were ripe for the taking. "WHOOP, stage complete." Sarah proclaimed. "'Guess someone did it for us."

"I object to that!" Sheldon argued. "We can't just bypass a stage because of some 'shortcut.' If we don't play all the levels the way they were meant to be, we don't get the full experience, and we may even miss some crucial parts of the storyline, therefore-" Yellow Monkey dropped from the sky and smashed Sheldon. The helmetless monkey of average intelligence lifted Sheldon over his shoulder and ran off into the jungle. "AAAAH! He's putting a dress on me! Somebody call the zookeeper!"

Palace of Winds

Somewhere in the sky, lost among the dark clouds was an ancient palace. Some say it was home to the Sky King, and had thousands of Shandoran Nimbi enslaved here. It was a story that he took interest in. Now he made this old temple his home.

The Man With the Red Eye soared through the dark clouds and entered the palace. It was pitch-black inside, so the mage had to see the way with a light on the tip of his wand. Red Eye got to a room lit by some dim torches, and a faint light coming from a magic mirror. Somebody was seated and watching the projection. "Red Eye burned the American Constitution and fled the scene, and chaos and mayhem ensued everywhere throughout the country. The situation was resolved by a young boy named Jessie Sidney, who shortly after, became…"

"You certainly are a violent sort." The man watching the MV said. "I'm not sure if I want you visiting my planet."

"That man would have slain an innocent child had I not flown in." Red Eye said, his body shadowed except for the left eye. "I use violence to deliver justice to those corrupt beings. I hoped America would stay a free country, but we will see how this child president fairs. But I do not wish to bring harm to your world. I simply wish to study its magic potential. And I think it is the perfect place for my daughter to meet me."

"I see…" The man—Arlon—stood and faced Red Eye, with his own monocle eye glowing red. "Then I shall comply to your request. I want to see my daughter again, too. I still have mixed feelings about-"

"DARN IT!" A bowl of berries was thrown at Arlon's head. "These are blueberries! And they're ROUND! WE'RE OFF SCHEDULE!" An infant-size creature flew between the two men, facing Arlon. It had an indigo body, a crescent moon head, and a crescent symbol on the chest. "Tonight is a crescent moon! I need a banana! Or a cookie with one bite taken out of it! Half moons, I drink half a cup of grape juice, or a taco. And during eclipse, I eat donuts. Blueberries are for FULL MOONS!! I'll also accept a plum or a moon pie." He smiled. "Always up for a moon pie. BUT WHAT'M I SUPPOSED TO EAT RIGHT NOOOW?"

"Master Crest, I am positive that the food you choose to eat is irrelevant to the current phase of the moon!" Arlon argued.

"Irrelevant?! Dude, it's ALWAYS relevant!" Crest threw his arms up. "It's…It's LOGICAL! It's…IT'S…"

"Crest." Red Eye spoke. "You will still lead me to Lunaria like you promised, correct?"

"Oh yeah sure man, whatever floats your boat." Crest said quickly. "We can do it on May 15, that's a full moon. Provided you get me more of-" He rubbed his fingers and glanced at the berries on the floor, "those things."

"May 15 was the date I had in mind, too. That shall be it then."

"Coolness! So uh, you know uh, those uh…?" He continued rubbing his fingers.

"Bananas, yes."

"Neat, well, buh-bye." Crest flew off.

"And on the same day… I want you to bring Wendy and her friends to Lunaria." Red Eye told Arlon.

"To that end, I fear for Master Crest's safety. It is true that my people have long awaited the Young Lord… but there are many prying eyes who would JUMP at the chance to seize him! He is, after all, the Tenth Firstborn."

"Yes…" Red Eye turned away. "The Firstborn are bodies of limitless power. They are only children, but cruel adults seek to capture them, abuse them for their own ends. I detest such adults. If anyone tries to take Crest, I assure you… they will fall by my hands."