Before They Were Kings, Part III: Open Mind

London, Year 1972

"Breaking news today! A man posing as some type of magician has robbed everything from a local pawn shop! Authorities have been called to detain the criminal, but it appears they have been… transformed into toads."

The police cars were abandoned on the street with their lights still blinking, and toads hopped about mindlessly. "Pah! You pitiful Muggles and your powerless beating sticks." The culprit was a man in black clothing and a long black mustache, wearing a top-hat. A sack was hunched over his shoulder and he wielded a parlor magic wand. "You are no match for… The Trickster!" He flapped his cape.

"What are YOU? Some pitiful excuse for a comic villain?" a girl's voice shouted.

"Who dares to mock me?!" He turned around, keeping his cape over his mouth as his eyes glared at the speaker.

"I did! Officer Felius Umbridge! –Felius Umbridge announces herself firmly." She was a 20-year-old woman with blonde hair in a ponytail, wearing an officer's uniform and was slightly chubby. "And I am placing you under arrest, she asserts!"

"What, are you reading from a script? Get out of my way, Child! Or I'll toadify you as well."

Felius winced at the made-up word. "Don't call me a child, you… inane hapless schlemiel!"

A soundwave erupted from her lungs and blew The Trickster backward. "What the devil?!" He jumped back up.

"It's called wordbending. Or is your feeble pea brain too clouded with magic dust, you sheep con artist?"

Trickster's wand was blown out of his hand. "You loudmouthed, fat… bitch!"

"Ouch, how dreadfully painful, Felius Umbridge retorts with sarcasm. In actuality, she is REPULSED!" Felius spat another soundwave that knocked Trickster down, dropping his sack.

The next minute, a self-pulled carriage flew down, and Aurors hopped off to bind the thief in chains. "It's Azkaban for you, Norbert Crocketsman. One of you take this sack back to the pawn shop, don't forget to wipe the shopkeeper's memories."

The Aurors changed the toads back into humans and cast Obliviate to wipe the Muggles' memories. "Many thanks for your aid in Norbert's capture, Officer Umbridge." The lead Auror said to her. "I trust that we can count on your continued silence?"

"Given how much your kind wreaks havoc in our world, there is hardly much silence to keep, Felius emphasizes logically."

"Yes, well…" The Auror couldn't argue with that. "Enjoy the rest of your evening." The others returned to the carriage and flew off to the cloudy sky.

When Felius's shift was over, she returned to her home at 10 Grimmauld Place, an average row house. When Felius entered, she hung up her uniform and saw her father, Orford in the dining room, sitting with her seven-year-old sister, Dolores, who had mousy brown hair. "Someone spilled Abyss Mud in the second floor corridor, nearly impossible to clean up since it sucks in almost everything." Orford was telling a story. "The secret is to use a mop that is larger than the puddle, so I cast Engorgio on a mop. However, I didn't realize that Billius…"

His words faded as Felius went upstairs and found her mother knitting a purple sweater in hers and Orford's bedroom. Ellen Umbridge (née Cracknell) was an orange-haired woman in a green dress. She looked up and smiled at her eldest daughter. "Welcome home, darling! I'm making you a sweater. It's getting a wee bit chilly out."

"That's the third sweater this week, Mum. And they're always a few inches too… big. –Felius says with embarrassment."

"Well, I can't help that you're always losing weight! But I guess being the youngest officer in the department will give ya exercise."

"Indeed." Felius looked with resent. "I'm starting to question their security. Evil wizards running around our city left and right, it repulses Felius Umbridge. And the officials insist on keeping our city ignorant."

"Well, be thankful we're exempt from the rule." Ellen replied. "You might be considered a Muggle, but at least you have the power to fight them."

"I consider my wordbending a gift rather than a superhuman ability. And as soon as I make enough money, you and I are leaving those two and finding a new abode to call home."

"Oh, Felius, you're a grown woman. You ought to find a place of your own."

"And leave you here with Father? Mum, he detests the two of us. You know the only reason he chose to marry you was because no witch would have him. He waited years to discover if I had magic, and all I could develop was a strong vocabulary. But no, the only words he wants to hear is whatever poppycock makes magic transpire. –Felius speaks with irritation at the irony."

"I don't enjoy it either, darling, but until now, he was the only one paying our bills. Magical Maintenance at the Ministry isn't an extravagant job, but the wage is decent. Besides, I'm already pregnant with another child. If this one happens to be magic, he'll want to keep it. I really don't want you to feel burdened by us, Felius."

"Mum, I became an officer because I wanted to subdue villains and thwart evil. And there's no greater cause of evil than power. That's why I need to stay here and make sure my father's power does not consume him, and especially not Dolores. –Felius is confident in her decision."

"If you're really sure of yourself, I suppose I can't argue. Anyhoo, I bought you a little present!" Ellen led Felius to her room.

The officer gasped with delight at the present on her bed. "DONUUUTS!" A small pink treasure chest with various donuts sat open, and Felius was quick to begin consuming them. "Felius enjoys donuts very much! :heart: Donuts are delightful!"

"You enjoy yourself, Darling!" Ellen chuckled.

("So that's how she got fat." Pit commented.)

("That's not polite to say, Pit." Palutena scolded.)

The next morning…

"Dolores, give back my baton!" Felius chased her sister around the house in her uniform. "Felius grows impatient!"

"Look at me, I'm a Muggle Auror!" Dolores swung the club around. "This is my magicless wand! Expelliarmus? Not today!"

"Premature primate!" Felius shot a string of words that tripped Dolores, allowing her to seize the club.

"I'm telling Dad you worded me!" Dolores yelled after getting up.

"My words alone prove more efficient than any matter your Aurors can accomplish. Perhaps they will be a good fit for you."

"For your information, I don't want to be an Auror. I'm working at the Ministry. And I'm getting a better job than Dad's."

"Then you better hit the books and develop your vocabulary. Meanwhile, I'll be protecting the streets from rogues. –Felius Umbridge will return in the afternoon." The officer marched out.

"At least I don't say my name all the time like an eggo… an eager…"

"Egotist!" Felius finished. Dolores grumbled.

It was seven in the morning, but the cloudy sky made it still seem like nighttime. Felius got in her car and made the drive downtown to the police station. She was still stuffed with last night's donuts, so she didn't need breakfast. Still, with all that sugar in her body, it was a surprise she passed out on her bed afterward. Dolores often complained about her loud snoring, which their father would like to fix with a Silencio spell, if it weren't for the Ministry's magic sensors.

When Felius was driving down a backstreet (she prefers the peace and quiet), she stopped to notice a figure in a black coat sneak into an alley. She quickly accused him of being a wizard and parked her car to follow him. She crouched to hide behind a garbage can as the man knocked on a door. It opened, but the man inside didn't come out. "Mr. Vargas, I was informed by my spy about the capture of a criminal who attempted to rob a pawn shop. That couldn't have been your doing, could it?"

"I promised The Trickster money if he burgled the shop." Mr. Vargas said with an Italian accent.

"A Muggle like yourself couldn't have much to offer a wizard, even a petty thief like Norbert. You weren't, perhaps, offering my money?"

"Mr. Malfoy, you have millions! All you wanted in the pawn shop was the Vanishing Cabinet, correct? Why do you care who I ask to help steal it?"

"Because I asked for your help. The Dark Lord is searching for every known Vanishing Cabinet in the country because he is certain his opposers are using them for secret hideaways. He suspects that traitorous wizards have the gall to hide Muggles in those cabinets. They wouldn't expect an ordinary Muggle to betray them. Mr. Vargas, if you really want to borrow my Floo Network so you can return to your simple little home in Italy, you had better get ahold of that Vanishing Cabinet. One way or another."

"I understand… I will try to have it tonight."

"See that you do." The door closed. Mr. Vargas sighed and turned to head back.

"FREEZE, illicit!" Felius jumped out.

"EAAAH!" The man fell on his back. His hood came off, revealing his messy black hair and mustache, and a developing beard.

"So, you're the one who put Trickster up to it, are you? Felius Umbridge has it all on tape!" She held up a tape-recorder. "You are under arrest!" She pulled him off the ground and began to handcuff him.

"You do not understand! I came from Italy on a business trip one week ago, but my plane was attacked by flying men in masks! They took me prisoner, and that man, Abraxas told me that if I wanted to return home, I had to steal something from the pawn shop! Please, I'm not a criminal, I just want to see my family again!"

"Tell it to the chief, Felius states while aggressively pushing you to her car!"

"Why do you say it like that? Are you still recording?"

London Police Department

Mr. Vargas was locked in his own cell while Chief Boggum replayed the interaction between him and Malfoy on the tape-recorder. The chief was a chubby man with a long head and gray uniform. "Hrrrm… Well, if this man took part in a crime, we have the evidence to convict him. Still, it would appear the Aurors have another case on their hands."

"Sir, do you realize what this means? The wizards are involving our people with their ploys! I think we should attempt to alert the media. –Felius Umbridge highly recommends it."

"Slow down, Officer Umbridge. You and I might be important enough to keep our memories, but we're sworn to keep the Magic World a secret. It's difficult enough to keep the other officers from knowing with all these robberies."

"How do they expect us to keep their world secret when THEY don't seem concerned about being publicized?! Aside from robberies, there have been reports of murders under mysterious circumstances, bodies that have no external or internal injuries! The WIZARDS are responsible and the public needs to know!"

"HMPP!" Boggum slapped Felius's mouth shut, glancing at the other cells and the guards. "Felius, if you keep up with these delusions, we'll have to take you to an institution!" He then spoke more quietly, "We cannot risk the city falling into a panic with the knowledge of wizards or witches. People have a hard time as it is accepting element benders like yourself. Now, tonight, when everyone else has gone, I will summon Aurors to wipe Mr. Vargas's memories of these experiences and have him safely delivered home to Italy. With magic, there's probably no need for flight expenses, hur hrm. I will just take this recorder with me. Now, do return to your patrol." The chief walked away.

Felius sighed with aggravation. She spared one look to Vargas before leaving. She complied with the chief's request and patrolled town, catching two big-nosed men that were illegally trafficking Dalmatians. All Felius really wanted was an excuse to return to the office. After she had the men imprisoned, she persuaded the guards to bring Vargas to an interrogation room. As luck would have it, Chief Boggum was on a break and was absent from the office.

Mr. Vargas was sat at a table in a small room, opposite from Felius. "Alright, Mr. Vargas, let's get straight to the point. Tell Felius Umbridge about this Vanishing Cabinet and this Malfoy person."

"Do you plan to help, Officer Felius?"

"While I don't approve of your criminal activity, it's clear you were being threatened by a wizard. And I am not particularly fond of wizards."

"All I can assume is Malfoy is working for someone else, and they suspect their enemies are hiding in these Vanishing Cabinets. I really don't know why he chose me instead of someone else, but I can't say 'no', I don't want to die here. My wife and child must have heard about the plane's crash, I have to let them know I'm okay."

"You have a child?"

"A son. His name's Mathias. Three years old. We also have a cat. Do you like cats, Felius? I just assume, by your name…"

At this, Felius imagined her name above her head, an "=" sign next to it, ending at a cat that patted her on the head. "Meow meow!"

"No I don't!" She shook her head. "My sister does, however."

"Anyway, Mr. Malfoy promised to let me use a Floo Network if I brought him the cabinet. He said that it's a magic fireplace."

"Yes, I know. My father is a wizard, and he works at the Ministry of Magic."

Mr. Vargas processed this for a moment. "So… it is true. There really are wizards and magic."

"Unfortunately, yes. Mr. Vargas, what did this Vanishing Cabinet look like?"

"It's large enough to fit a person inside. It's black and kind of triangular. When I checked last time, it was in the back of the shop. Much too large for me to attempt to steal, that's why I had to hire a criminal who claimed to be a wizard."

Felius thought to herself for a moment before standing up. "I think I'm going to pay the shop a visit."

Pawn Shop

"So, you're the nice young officer that saved my shop." The owner of the shop was a slim man with brown hair and a jacket with a green and yellow square pattern. "My mind was so hazy that day that I can barely remember a thing. Well, you have my sincere thanks."

"Felius Umbridge is pleasured." She smiled. "However, when we interrogated the culprit, it seems his primary target was a large cabinet you have in the back."

"That dusty old thing? Yeah, I found that cabinet a while ago. Moved it in back because it took too much room out here."

"Do you mind if I see it?"

"Of course." The man led Felius to a back room that had a large black cabinet, whose doors were diagonally intersecting like a triangle. "I've heard of master shadow thieves that could clean a jewel shop, but I don't see how anyone can pick up a cabinet that big and just sprint down the street."

Felius approached and nervously knocked the cabinet with her knuckle. She decided to open the cabinet and find nothing but dust on its empty shelves. "It does look big enough to climb in…" Felius climbed onto the middle shelf.

"Hey, if you break any merchandise, you buy, Officer! Do you have 50 pounds?"

"I hope that refers to the currency. I will just be a minute." Felius closed the cabinet from inside. She sat uncomfortably for a minute, half-expecting some sort of magic to happen. If this was just a normal cabinet, Felius would look like a fool climbing into a cabinet like a child. There was hardly any room for more than one person to fit, unless the wizards shrink their selves. "Sigh, what am I doing?" Felius opened the cabinet and climbed out—

She was inside a filthier room with junk lain about. The dim gray light of the cloudy sky shone in from the glass roof. Felius peeked out the window of the locked door. There were two guards outside that looked like giant vulture-crows. A shadow fell over Felius from the window roof. She looked up, horrified at the sight of a hooded black phantom. Her gaze was fixed on it as she stepped sideways—tripping on a silver cup and falling into other junk.

"CAW, CAW!" The guards heard this and were trying to open the door. Felius scrambled to climb back in the Vanishing Cabinet and shut it.

Felius heard them moving around outside, but slowly that sound began to fade. She kept still and silent, heart racing. "Officer, how long you gonna be in there?"

Felius creaked the door open. She was staring at the pawn shop owner, having returned to the store. "Did this cabinet… go anywhere?"

"Unless you mean Imagination Land, this cabinet didn't leave my eyes, Miss."

"Sir, I think I would like to buy this."

Malfoy Manor

"Abraxas, why do you waste time entrusting a simple job to a Muggle?" A pale man in a dark robe asked with a hissing voice. "A defenseless shop with a defenseless cabinet… we do not need to go to such lengths to expose its inhabitants."

"This is not only a matter of securing prisoners, My Lord." Abraxas replied. "This is an opportunity to expand our rule. The Italian Ministry of Magic has sealed its Floo Network from international networks, and Aurors watch the skies constantly. The only areas left defenseless are the hearths of simple abodes. We will allow Mr. Vargas to use our Floo Network to return to his home. We will memorize the destination and send Death Eaters to infiltrate Italy from his house."

"Hmm… Perhaps this is an opportunity to show another country our power." The Dark Lord rubbed his Phoenix Feather wand. "Very well… but do not spend too long on this plan." He turned to head the opposite direction. "Do you see, my student?" He spoke to a boy with an arrow tattoo on his bald head. "Amassing followers is easy… Searching for good, useful followers who are devoted… therein lies the challenge. If you rise to power one day… I hope that you will choose worthy followers."

"I will remember to, Master." The boy bowed.

"Good… Now, let us depart." He opened his arms for a hug.

"Do we have to hug, Master?" The boy blushed.

"I would not want the Negatar to be splinched." So with that, they warped into thin air.

"Well then… I had best see to our Muggle's progress." Abraxas said before heading to the fireplace.

That night…

There was a knock at the alley door. Abraxas answered it to find Mr. Vargas in front of the Vanishing Cabinet. "Ahh, Mr. Vargas… you have succeeded."

"Yes, Sir, I did… There are people hiding inside." Vargas whispered. "It connects to a basement shelter somewhere. I told them my family had been attacked, and they now believe I am going to bring food."

"So, it has a sister cabinet? Well, won't they be upset. Perhaps you should call and say food has arrived."

"Will you open the Floo for me first?"

"Very well, very well…" Abraxas grabbed powder from a pot and slapped in Vargas's hand. "Go to that fireplace. Say the name of the location you want to go and throw the powder inside. Open a network, then open this cabinet."

Mr. Vargas calmly approached the dusty fireplace. He raised the powder over it, and Abraxas anticipated him to speak. …Mr. Vargas turned and said, "The food has arrived."

A band of Aurors burst out of the cabinet and struck Abraxas with Stun Spells. "Abraxas Malfoy, what's the meaning of this?!" Orford Umbridge asked, climbing out as well. "Hiring a Muggle to bring you a Vanishing Cabinet… are you really in league with the Dark Lord?"

"It's convenient that this cabinet connects to Azkaban, because you're being taken in for questioning!" an Auror stated.

"No, you misunderstand! I was only trying to protect the cabinet from- wait, Azkaban? I thought you told me it was-" He tried to look up at Vargas, but he was already gone through the emerald fireplace. Neither of them heard what location he warped to.

"Well, Felius, I can see you weren't lying." Orford said as his daughter climbed out of the cabinet. "Mr. Malfoy is a highly regarded man in the Ministry, so these actions raise suspicion. We still have no proof he is working for the Dark Lord."

"He mentions the Dark Lord on my tape-recorder! Let's go back to the station and ask the chief for it."

Police Department

"So, you gentlemen succeeded in detaining Mr. Malfoy, eh?" Chief Boggum recapped their explanation. "Well, Officer Umbridge, I must say I was skeptical in this plan at first, but it seems it was wise to trust you."

"Felius Umbridge thanks you for your trust." The woman smiled.

"So, where has Mr. Vargas gone?"

"Back to Italy, I conjecture. He used the Floo in Malfoy's hideout."

"Chief, my daughter says you have a tape-recorder with important evidence." Orford said. "May we see it?" He cocked a brow.

"Yes… of course you may. Follow me." The chief led Orford, Felius, and the four Aurors through the prison wing and toward a back room. "Abraxas is secured in Azkaban, I take it?"

"Yes, but a sentence won't be established unless we have something to present to the Ministry." an Auror responded. "Malfoy's position in the Ministry still stands."

"Well, we can only hope that matter is taken care of soon." Boggum said as he led them into an empty room. "It's fortunate that Mr. Vargas could return home. He should be wary on any future business travels."

". . . !" Felius realized something: "I don't remember telling you he was on a business trip."

"Oh… didn't you?"

"N-No…" Felius's gaze met with Boggum's. His demeanor was calm against her shock-ridden expression. "…Chief, why did we come back here?"

Chief Boggum grabbed his baton as it morphed into a wand. "Stupefy!" He stunned the four Aurors and Orford senseless, then used it to seal the door.

"Chief!" Felius gaped. "What in the… I can't even think of a word!"

"I suppose you were bound to find out eventually, Felius." Boggum said. "I work for Abraxas Malfoy. He sent me to pose as the Muggle police chief in case we needed a few extra slaves. He also wanted me to watch the criminal activity of stray wizards. I've got their pictures, written their names, in case they would like the honor to one day serve us. And now that we have a Vanishing Cabinet that connects to Azkaban, we can schedule a plan to free our captured Death Eaters. First, I need to reconfigure these gentlemen's memories, destroy this evidence," He raised the tape-recorder and crushed it in his hand, "keep Abraxas from staying in prison… That leaves the matter of what to do with you."

"And what do you plan to do, Felius questions?"

"Felius, you're a very competent officer. You may not have magic, but your wordbending is a very useful power. I wonder if such a power could… increase the effectiveness of our spells?"

"I have no intention of aiding your insidious plans, you cumbersome grime!" She blasted a soundwave that Boggum blocked with a magic shield.

"That's a real shame, Felius. Oh well… In time, perhaps I can mold your mind to my favor. But for now… OBLIVIATE!" His wand flashed.

…

…

8888888888

A hundred worlds were melding together into one. Among them was a maelstrom of magic energy. Felius saw a planet of gems collapsing as its energy was sapped into that world. The power kept growing and growing and growing, until the combined world exploded. Then, six beings in hoods collected the scattered pieces and repaired them to perfect order.

"Felius?"

She opened her eyes to see her mother. Felius looked around and saw she was in her room. "Mum?"

"Your father said you fell asleep in your car, so he drove you home. He cast a spell, of course. You must've had one restless day. It's morning now."

"Morning…" Felius sat up, holding her head. "I don't remember a thing from yesterday. Perhaps I will enquire the chee…" She drawled on that word. "The chi…"

"The… chief?"

"…I should go to work." Felius got up and headed downstairs.

"Felius, don't you want breakfast?" Ellen called.

"No thanks, Mum, I'll buy donuts later!" She hastened to go outside.

"That means I get it!" Dolores exclaimed.

Police Department

"Chief!" Felius jogged inside. "Chief Boggum!"

"Officer Felius!" The chief greeted happily. "I see you're ready for another day of busting hoodlums. Just don't exhaust yourself like you did last night."

"Chief… What did I do yesterday?"

"Well, these two ne'er-do-wells were driving a whole truck of captured Dalmatians all the way to the next city. It was quite the thrilling chase, I heard."

"Chief, that's the plot to One Hundred and One Dalmatians. –A sweatdrop rolls down Felius's face to show her disbelief."

"Well, perhaps we should hold Disney responsible and arrest them! Hur hrm!" Boggum joked.

". . . . One Hundred and One Dalmatians… is a movie…" Felius mumbled quietly.

"Didn't it start as a book?" Boggum asked.

"…It was a movie… but it actually happened…"

"Er, I suppose it did. Disney certainly sets bad examples."

"…It happened, but it was a movie. It happened, but it was a movie! It happened, but it was a movie! It happened, but…"

"F…Felius?" Boggum said with concern.

A hundred worlds merged into one. A boy with an arrow tattoo spoke to a Dark Lord with a bald head, then another Dark Lord in a hood. She saw a brain on a canister, a man leading an army of demons, a god destroying everything, and a complete cluster of scattered worlds.

"SHAM!" Felius blew a soundwave that knocked Boggum against the wall. He tried to grab his wand- "Fickle! Foul! FIENDISH!" The words came with strong velocity and struck the wizard unconscious.

"FREEZE!" Three cops got behind and raised batons. "Officer Umbridge, what is the meaning of this?!"

"Boggum is a wizard! He's an evil wizard, trying to use you as slaves!"

"What proof do you have?"

"I…" Felius couldn't determine how she remembered this.

"She needs no proof."

The cops about-faced. A man that dressed like a knight stood in the doorway. "Not when she has… the truth." He raised an 8-ball that flashed an array of colors. The cops' eyes became dull at the sight of the colors, and their minds milky as they dropped their weapons. The man stepped through them and approached Felius.

"You're a tad late for the Renaissance Fair, Sir… Felius Umbridge says with utter confusion."

"The Octogan has sensed your presence. Last night… your mind has been opened. You saw the truth… the meaning behind our existence."

"I…I don't know what I saw…"

"Please, allow me to explain to you. Allow me to teach you. Allow me to tell you why you feel such hatred toward the wizards. Felius Umbridge… destiny has shone highly upon you. It is a destiny that you and I share. Come with me… and I will help you realize it." He reached his hand.

"I…I can't just go with you! I have a family to take care of!"

"I am aware of this. Rest assured, I will happily grant you all the wealth you could desire. I will return you to your home so you may provide for your loved ones as long as you see fit. Take your time to decide, however. I also… have donuts."

Felius's eyes watered. "Donuts?"

"Lots… and lots… of donuts."

". . . ." She made a great smile. "Sensational."

World News

"Breaking news today, master thief Donovan Vargas is still at large! Eyewitness reports say he was seen boarding a flight to England. The airplane in question was destroyed by an unknown cause, but as if by magic, the criminal has turned up in France! What is his target, what are his secrets?! Stay tuned for further development!"