F-21. Nerdvana

Alternia; Ganon's Castle

Ganon placed a hand on the Egg Chamber behind his throne. "Azelf, Mesprit, and Uxie are the three goddesses who created Hyrule." he thought aloud. "But in Hyrule legend, they are known as Din, Farore, and Nayru respectively. The three worked under Goddess Hylia to create a beautiful, vibrant kingdom. And Hylia sacrificed her immortal form to be reborn as a mortal as a pathetic means to prove to Demise that their race is 'superior.' Of course, Hylia herself was a nonexistent goddess. She is never acknowledged by the true gods. The stories of Hyrule died with their kingdom!"

"Reminds me of Egypt." said Truman Zorc, twirling Lola Stork's card in his fingers. "Anyway, it seems that Grandfather fled his battle with Chris. The boy was more powerful than he feared."

"Well, it seems I can't enact Bill's plan, yet. Wait for the boy to beat Grandfather to near death, jump in and slay him with my Devil's Sword, and absorb Grandfather's life force and power. Then, with his Agifying power in my hand, I would have control of Sunni, and through her control the Firstborn, Mew. Of course, I would have already destroyed Grandfather were it not for the Universal Law."

"'Nothing Beats the Original.'" Zorc recalled. "The very reason Grandfather was an excellent match against Chris. Chris comes from an alternate version of Grandfather's world, and Originals are meant to be superior to their parallels. Unfortunately, the Gameverse was so uniquely structured that it bears its own brand of originality. Its very existence breaks several laws, according to Bill."

"I should be proud to come from such a unique world." Ganon smirked. "Were I sentimental enough, I would join the Kids Next Door against Lord English. But only one thing matters to me: destroying the Hero of Time! And won't this be a perfect way to do it!"

"Yes, they'll be coming very soon. While Ghirahim keeps the Backup Army organized, I must fulfill my own role. DIO!"

The Vampire Lord stepped out of the darkness in the doorway. "You called?"

"Forgive me, but I must ask you to do something out-of-character." Zorc walked forth and raised Lola's card to DIO. "Just once, for a brief moment, I would like you to lose."

The Burning Lands

Cheren, Nerehc, and Vriska set foot on the kingdom outskirts. The sky was red and the parts of the earth that were not burning orange were black and dead. Ganon's Castle glistened with a lovely dark and red aura, swirling around the home of the Evil King. "You sure you 8oys don't wanna just fly there?" Vriska asked.

"We don't mind wiping out a few demons as a warm-up!" Nerehc smirked.

"Your time has come, Ganon!" Cheren cheered. "Today is the day we beat you FOR GOOD!" (Play "Melty Monster Galaxy" from Mario Galaxy 2!)

Stage F-20: Land of Beginnings and Endings

Mission: Get to Ganon's Castle!

Act 1: Burning Lands

The journey started at a burning hill. Fire Snakes formed from the flames, but single hits from Cheren's Ice Arrows could douse them. Giant Fire Keese flapped up from over the hills, raining fire upon the child gods. Vriska projected a psychic cover to defend them, then pushed the cover up against the Keese with great force to send them skyward. They hurried to the top of the hill, overlooking the burning valley of demons.

"See you at the bottom!" Cheren laughed as he leapt on his Mirror Shield and surfed down the hill. Moblin spotted him and lashed their silver spears, but Cheren nimbly evaded the attacks. He surfed along the right of a fire field, then on the left of another one, then as he surfed between two lines of Lizalfos, he spun around and SLICED them up! He went off a ledge into a ravine, landing on a Stalhorse during a stampede. Bokoblin rode close to him on their own horses to attack, but he effortlessly whacked the demons off.

Cheren saw a path to the left and steered that way, going out of the ravine and up a narrow trail over a lava river. Small wood bridges connected parts of the trail, but warships shot and destroyed them from the lava, so Cheren prompted his horse to jump those gaps. The path led to safe land, and the horse halted before a tall cliff. Dead tree branches grew around the cliff, easy for Cheren to Hookshot his way up. Boulders fell from above, threatening to either break the branches or hit him mid-Hookshot. "Ha ha! I really miss doing levels the classic way! 'Course, if I fell here with no way back up, I could just fly. The real challenge will be the battles."

At the top of the cliff, Cheren was ambushed by 10 Silver Lizalfos. The lizards were swift and dealt quick jabs with their spears, but Cheren's golden flames could counter them easily. He chucked the Mirror Shield at a few monsters as it bounced back, then he shot over to slice them twice. One last Lizalfos scampered up to him, but Nerehc slaughtered it with a few airwaves of his Deity Sword. "You don't make catching up to you easy!"

"You shoulda brought a shield! Race ya through the Flaming Forest!" The twins bolted toward a forest, its trees composed of no leaves, but more fire. Several trees fell and created a maze of fire, and as the heroes navigated it, Darknuts jumped out and attacked with flaming swords. "Geez, use a different element, why don'tcha?" Cheren said, casually blocking their attacks and slicing their armor like paper. "Ganon needs to get more creative!"

Nerehc finished the Darknuts off with his Deity Sword. "How about a little wind, for starters?" He charged power in his blade and slashed a series of trees, clearing them out of the way. They rushed out into an open field, greeted by the lovely sight of a fireball storm. They stylishly dodged every one, though Cheren couldn't help but bat some fireballs into others.

Vriska flew over them, using a psychic bubble for protection, and said, "Ganon's not gonna take you seriously if you keep playing around!"

"We're just training for the obvious tennis game he's gonna make us do!"

"Excuse me?"

"He means that Ganon usually makes an energy ball that we hit back and forth at each other." Nerehc clarified.

At the edge of the field, the boys jumped over a chasm, Cheren throwing open his Pirate Sail and Nerehc using Rocket Boost. Walls of fire erupted from the darkness, but they could fly through openings and make it to the other side. "Whoa, what's this?" Cheren asked in disgust.

They stood before some kind of marsh with black and purple, goopy substance. Orange eyeballs grew from the marsh, brimming once they saw the intruders. Demons emerged from the darkness and headed to attack them, and no matter how many the heroes slew, more demons of darkness came out. "Master Cheren, scans indicate a similar chi from this marsh to that of Ganon. My past records read this substance as 'Gasma,' and I strongly advise against touching it." Fi spoke.

"Ew, so this junk is like Ganon's vomit?!" Nerehc gagged.

"A somewhat accurate presumption, Nowhere Near As Awesome As Master Nerehc."

"Then I bet it wouldn't last against Light Arrows!" Cheren loaded three Light Arrows for each shot, clearing up massive portions of Gasma. Nerehc sliced demons and protected him as they progressed through the marsh. They found a clearing in the Gasma, but they were ambushed by three Silver Lynel (centaurs with white and black stripes and black manes).

The Lynels fired Shock Arrows, the twins dividing as they attacked their own Lynel. The middle Lynel tried to shoot Cheren, but Vriska grabbed his neck in psychic and forcefully twisted. "Not the time, Four Legs!"

Nerehc rode a Lynel's back and rapidly stabbed it, the creature unable to shake him. Cheren flew like a comet around his Lynel, slashing every corner of the beast. He did a flip above the Lynel's head, chopped down, and split its body like a banana peel. "Time to move on!" Cheren cheered, blasting through more Gasma. They cut down more demons as they arrived at a ruined town. There were a couple large buildings fairly close to each other, but beyond them were the small remains of houses.

"This…This place…" Vriska stared.

"Oh… It's Gray Garden." Cheren's eyes were drawn to the arched sign: RED GARDEN. "Ganon…" Cheren showed his first sign of anger since his encounter with English. "I'll kill you!"

"This sounds a little personal now." Nerehc noticed. "Whatever. I'm with you!"

Vriska watched as they flew around and sliced every last demon in the town, including the once-innocent butterflies and bees corrupted by evil. Vriska almost wondered where all her old classm8s were, or if they were still alive. "…Hm hm hm. You 8oys sure know how to have a good time. Come on, Ganon's Castle is just over there! Wanna give him what he deserves?"

"You bet!" Cheren turned cheery again. "At this rate, nothing he throws is gonna take us down!"

The team of three raced across the field of burning flowers, and before long they would arrive at the dark castle. They crossed a stone bridge over a lava river, and they would cross one final field, composed of paved walkways and statues. Somebody was there to greet them. "It's about time you arrived." Ghirahim said. (End song.)

"Whoa! It's the shiny white guy!" Cheren exclaimed.

"So, my former master and my current master's nemesis are here together. Against all odds and obstacles, you managed to fight your way here! Unfortunately, Ganon is not welcoming visitors at the moment. You'll have to have your showdown at a later date."

"So, Ganon is really afraid of us, huh?" Nerehc smirked. "That's actually a bit encouraging!"

"Well, maybe we'll leave Ganon alone for now if he lets us have Azelf!" Cheren said perkily.

"Heh heh heh… Even if we would let you have Azelf, it seems you came unprepared. The Triforce Trio are quite different from the other Firstborn. I'm sure your gray-skinned friends must have told you."

"Told us what?" Cheren asked Vriska.

"8eats me…"

"I see… hm hm hm." Ghirahim snickered. "At any rate, my master did not want to disappoint you, so he's called in a few friends to entertain you! Courtesy of Lord English…"

"Whoever Ganon sends, we'll destroy!" Nerehc declared.

"Excellent!" Ghirahim danced away from them. "Then may I present, the ENTIRE Backup Army!" He threw his arms open toward the castle. "NERDVANAAAAAA!"

Hearing the name triggered baffled expressions on Cheren and Nerehc. When they viewed in the castle's direction, they just now noticed an army, raising flags that bore either Bill or English's likeness. They were all distinctly different, and chanted their song in unison.

"Load up on guns and bring your friends!" The Backup Army officers led the army: Dio Brando, Millennium Earl, Sephiroth, Esdeath, Ragyō Kiryūin, and Dark Oak.

"It's fun to lose and fun to pretend!" Bowser Koopa and King K. Rool had arms around the other. Dr. Eggman flew above them on his pod, alongside three other Dr. Robotniks.

"Hello, hello, hello, how low?" Gruntilda marched beside the Wicked Witch of the West, Maleficent, and the White Witch.

"Hello, hello, hello, how low?" Capital B put an arm around Grunty, but she socked him in the nose.

"With the lights out… IT'S LESS DANGEROUS!" The Joker climbed atop Darkseid's head, holding a baton. "Here we are now… ENTERTAIN US!" He jumped down on DIO's shoulders, making him infuriated before jumping off.

"I feel stupid… AND CONTAGIOUS!" Dr. Nefarious, Specter, Mr. Dark, and Plankton sang together.

"Here we are now… entertain us!" Fire Lord Ozai marched beside Zaheer, Unalaq, and Vlad Plasmius.

"I…I recognize some of them." Cheren said. "The members of Team Gnaa and Team Gnik!"

"Open your eyes!" Nerehc stated. "Those aren't the ones YOU know, they're Originals! I bet they're ALL Originals!"

"CORRECT!" Ghirahim jumped. "And together, their combined Power Levels are beyond compare!"

"And I forget just why I taste…" Stewie Griffin was clutching a ray gun, scowling with the maliciousness he once had. Behind him were The Hacker and Maximus.

"Oh yeah! I guess it makes me smile!" Trigon, Hades, Aku, and the Nightmare Wizard were the giants who marched in the back. (It was the Hades from Kid Icarus.)

"I found it hard, it was hard to find!" Jessie, James, and Meowth were joyfully singing on their hot-air balloon.

"Oh, well… whatever, never mind." Chase Young walked beside X.A.N.A., Magneto, and Slade.

The army chanted its final "Hello, how low" as Ghirahim slid out of their way. They halted just ten feet before the heroes.

The Joker danced to the front of the parade and tipped his top-hat. "This scene is brought to you by the nerdy minds behind The Lego Batman Movie! Please, have a nerdtastic orgasm!"

Cheren and Nerehc burst with power and blew straight through the center of the army. The Millennium Earl, having been the first in the line, tried to block them using his umbrella, skidding along the ground from their force. Bowser headbutted the duo into K. Rool's belly, and the Kremling King held them in place while Sephiroth severely sliced them. They broke free as Nerehc rapidly swung at him, but the boy was squashed under Darkseid's fist, and the giant got off in time for Slade and Chase Young to beat him on the ground.

Cheren escaped from the crowd and flew to take down the titans, but Hades swiftly snatched him in his fist and SLAMMED him against the ground. Trigon burned Cheren with heat vision, Nightmare unveiled his tornado to drill him, then the Eggmen flew above Cherry to bombard him with guns. They ceased and watched as Cheren's wounds self-healed. "Like I'm letting YOU freaks get the best of me!" Cheren drew his bow and shot rapid Light Arrows at Nightmare, but Hades and Trigon combined their beams and burned him against the ground.

When the lasers stopped, DIO zipped over and grabbed Cheren's left arm. "We know that your God form makes you immortal… but a useless vermin like you still feels PAIN!" DIO froze Cheren's arm and SHATTERED it in his hands.

"OOOOOWWW!"

"CHEREN!" Nerehc rushed to help him—Maleficent zapped him back with purple lightning. The boy countered with firebending (his flames were a normal orange, since he was robbed of Ganon's darkness), but before he could go after Cheren, Darth Vader jumped in the way. The Sith Lord swung his lightsaber in such graceful fashion, even Nerehc's Deity Sword couldn't get around. "EAH!" Ragyō wrapped him up in red strings, which began to burrow into his clothes.

"That garb is truly atrocious! Won't you rather die in something more beautiful?"

"AGH! HELP! She's beautifying me!!" Nerehc cried as the fibers wove into large pink flowers on his cloak and fluffy, color-patterned sleeves. "VRISKA, get us out of here! Vriska?! Where is she?!"

Cheren blasted a stream of golden fire from his right hand, forcing DIO to defend. Cheren rocketed skyward, his fire spreading to burn other villains. "RRAAAAHH!" Andross ambushed and chomped Cheren in his mouth. The floating head munched and crunched the tasty gold lunch, then he spit Cheren in Aku's direction. The demon snatched him, twisted Cheren's head, and bent his side. He afterwards handed Cheren to Hades, the Lord of the Underworld munching his legs.

"Yuck, terrible!" Hades taunted before throwing him on the ground. The White Witch stabbed Cheren's leg, turning it to stone, then Grunty cast a spell to break it. At that point, his chopped arm was glowing and growing back.

"His arm, his arm, it returns!" Grunty exclaimed. "Is he impossible to burn?"

"Only a noble sacrifice can destroy a God Tier." DIO said with his merciless smirk. "We may very well be wasting our time… because this boy's punishment will be anything but noble!"

"UGH!" Cheren lashed a fire whip to push the villains back, but Vlad Plasmius and Ozai grabbed him, then Slade and Chase bashed him with spiked bo staffs.

"Hahahahaha, HAHAHAHAHA!" Judge Doom cackled wildly as he approached Cheren with a buzzsaw arm, showing nothing but madness in his eyes.

"Oh, my!" Joker gasped. "THAT man is more mad than I AM! …Grab a front-row seat, Harley! Heads are about to roll!" He watched delightedly as Judge Doom showed Cheren true pain.

Hivebent

Vriska had returned to the base, shooting in like a psychic rocket, desperately gasping for breath. There were burn marks and scratches on her body. "Vvris! Wwhat happened?!" Eridan asked.

"I 8rought Cheren and Nerehc to Alternia! They wanted to rescue Azelf and challenge Ganon! We were almost at the castle, but the 8ackup Army am8ushed us! Even despite our power, we couldn't 8eat them. I knew I had to escape and get help! Hurry, we have to go and help them!"

"Ch-Cheren is having trouble?" Panini asked in surprise. "But, he's God Tier. Nothin' can beat him now."

"That must 8e why Ganon had them w8ing for us, to even the odds. And right now, the 8ackup Army is testing to see just how unkilla8le Cheren is. …I don't think he's gonna look good tomorrow."

"Everyone to your ships!" Aurora ordered. "We're flying straight for Alternia and helping them!"

"You really think we can take on the Backup Army?" Dillon asked.

"We have the cruddy Firstborn to help us!" Panini shouted. "Stop making excuses and GET TA SAVING CHEREN!" She bolted toward the hangar.

"Ugh, she's right. Let's get going!" Dillon pulled up his hood, his serious eyes glowing in its shade.

"Not without me, you aren't!" Nolan stated. "This old man's got enough strength for another villain army war!"

"Well, this is what we asked for." Anthony spoke confidently. "Let's take 'em down, Michelle!"

"I'm coming, too!" Wendy declared.

Morgiana had been standing in the hallway entrance when she overheard the commotion. She quickly raced back to Feferi's room where Nagisa hid under the covers of the water bed. "Nagisa, Cheren is in trouble. The operatives are all going to rescue him. We should go, too."

"I…I can't, Morg. I don't know who I am, anymore. I-I always thought I was a boy, but I…I can't remember ever being one. I was so mad at my mom for wanting to change my gender, but I don't remember that fight ever happening. Because I was never a boy, she was always happy. I was never—OW!!" Morgiana stomped him where the privates used to be.

"Get ahold of yourself, Nagisa! You've always been a man, and you never let your mother tell you otherwise! Now you're letting Lord English be the boss of your life?! How about I just beat you until the genitals come back?!" Morgiana began punching his pelvis repeatedly.

"Ow! Ah! AH! Morgiana, please!"

"Ohhh, Nagisa." Goombella returned. "Yuzu cooked your favorite food- oh?"

"NNGH! Feel better now?! When's your manhood gonna come out?!" Morg shouted.

"…I think I'm interrupting something." Goombella stared awkwardly.

"Uuuugh…" Nagisa felt limp down below. "Well, that did something to me. Alright, let's go help Cheren."

Planet Froast

Nebula, Jirachi, and Maddy warped down to the area where they found the Universe Frog. Majora was sitting on the end of the stick that the frog's tongue was stuck to. He heard the trio appear behind him and said, "Back for MMe, are you?"

"Where's Dimentio?" Nebula asked.

"It seems he had no interest in returning after you warped him. Quite rude of him, honestly."

"Where's Chris?!" Maddy demanded.

"He and Grandfather flew in that direction." Nebula pointed to the floating polygon, which appeared more blackened with soot than it had been before.

The four flew that way and found a figure standing in a crater. "Chris!" Maddy exclaimed. She let go of Nebula's hand and dropped into the crater.

"It looks like Grandfather is gone, too." Nebula observed. "I wonder if Chris destroyed him?"

"Chris, there you are!" Maddy ran up to him from behind. "You shouldn't run off without telling anyone! I hope you didn't get hurt too badly…"

Chris only responded with rasps. "He got away…"

"Grandfather escaped? Sigh, that's good." Maddy smiled. "I was afraid he would do a lot worse. Well, next time, how about we fight him together?" She reached for his hand.

The second she did was when Chris HURLED her across the crater. She was taken aback by how her Haki didn't pick up such an obvious sneak-attack. When Maddy looked up, Chris's demon aura reappeared around his body, his eyes lacking sanity. "Typical mortal, having pity. I'm far above such worthless feelings! I must become stronger… I will not rest until I DESTROY him!"

Seeing him this way was like seeing her own nightmares come to life. "Chris… you really lost it, haven't you? I know that isn't you. It's Malladus talking."

"Don't talk like you know me, you useless tool! A mortal like you isn't worthy of my strength!"

Maddy wanted to assume Chris was joking, but she felt no lie in his twisted voice. "I'm warning you, Chris!" Her fist turned to iron. "Don't make me beat some sense into you!"

"Useless imbecile! We'll see how you act after I TEAR YOUR ARMS OFF!" His aura burned, and Maddy braced herself as Chris charged like a mindless bull.

A second later, she felt something tiny pushing against her iron palm. She realized it was Chris, who now looked like a cute and feisty red bug. "Shrink therapy never hurts anyone!" Nebula smiled, hands positioned in a frame.

"You think this is going to hold ME back?!" Chris flew back with Rocket Boost and shot a Combustion Beam at Maddy's hands.

"YOW!" Maddy shook her hands from the burning pain.

"Jirachi, I wish Chris was inside a chi-blocked jar!" Nebula ordered.

"Got it!" Jirachi materialized a simple jar with a symbol in it around Chris.

Maddy caught the jar and held it to her eye. Chris's aura was dying down, but he was viciously trying to punch his way out of the glass. "Even chi-blocking him doesn't calm him down. He's really lost his mind."

"Well, he'll be all right as long as he's in there." Nebula said. "But I don't want him out of there until he's sane. Brain contributes to strength as much as brawn sometimes. I'll leave that to you to teach him that." She winked. "Ready to warp back?"

Maddy stared at Chris once more. The sight of his tiny form in her hand and his current state of depravity felt very familiar. "I guess it's finally time for me to return the favor."

Alternia

The small fleet of KND ships followed Vriska through Alternia's atmosphere. "There they are! Near the castle!"

Esdeath and Dark Oak seemed to be stabbing a sack with a golden glow. Clockwerk then swooped down and impaled his metal talons through the sack, leaving Stewie, the Eggmen, and Joker to shoot it up. "Well, it seems we have guests!" Millennium Earl looked in the direction of the ships. "Let's entertain them!" He opened numerous portals and sent Akuma after them.

"Be gone, foul demons!" Fybi used an Innocence-powered B.O.W. to shoot them down. The ships destroyed the Akuma with the same means, quickly making land as the heroes charged for the Backup Army.

"HEY, YOU JERKS!" Anthony leaped toward the center of the army and smashed the earth with great power. "GET OFF MY COUSIN!" He blew the villains apart with a shockwave.

Dark Oak's fingers opened and extracted vines to penetrate Anthony, the boy dodging, and Diancie tossed diamonds to chop the vines. "Fybi, open that sack! I bet Cheren's in it!"

The Nimbi quickly set foot beside the sack and ripped it open. "! !" She gasped with utmost horror.

"Ch…Cheren!" Aurora gasped.

"Oh my!" Panini nearly burst into tears.

Cheren was in a state beyond words. He looked like, in the last five minutes, he had been torn apart and glued together a thousand times. The villains showed no mercy in toying with the God Tier's regenerative powers. Even though Cheren still breathed, he looked nothing like a living being. "Those…Those horrible demons…" MaKayla said.

"Oh, you opened it too early." Esdeath said. "We didn't finish our art piece!"

No sooner did a rubber knife grace her legs, sending a stinging sensation that made her fall. "Your art style is disgusting." Nagisa said sternly.

Esdeath gasped. It's you! The boy from Indo! He looks so… dashing.

"I SEE THAT LOOK YOU'RE MAKING!" Morgiana kicked Esdeath with a flaming foot, leaving a burn mark on her face.

Panini latched herself to Ozai's shoulders and used Purple Fire to grab one of his hands, using it to punch Ozai's own face. Magneto tossed coins to scratch Panini's body, forcing her to drop.

Nolan furiously punched Joker's face nonstop. "Now I'm in love, too!" Joker said, happily taking punches before falling. However, five more Jokers jumped Sandman from behind, stabbing with knives and shoving laughing gas in his mouth.

Wendy cast light spells at Maleficent, and when Jadis tried to stab her, the wind mage leapt and kicked the White Witch in the face. Gruntilda and the Wicked Witch struck Wendy with lightning magic, and despite her struggles to escape it, Maleficent had become a dragon and blew emerald flames.

"Guh…Guh…Guys…" Cheren rasped.

"Prithee, doth not speak!" Fybi pled. "We shalt not rest until thou art as thou were!"

"Fy8i, what a8out your Winds of Truth?" Vriska questioned. "May8e that can change him 8ack!"

"I didst not think of such!"

"It's ME AGAIN!" DIO jumped the girls.

"8ACK 8FF!" Vriska used a psychic thrust to push DIO away. The vampire smirked, letting a card slip out of his sleeve. Vriska saw the Catch Card and snatched it. "Huh? Hey, it's Lola."

"Lola?! My sister?!" Terry exclaimed, running up to confirm it was her. "Lola! You're okay!"

"Oh, Terry, glad you're here! Listen, we gotta buy the JoJo's Bizarre Adventure series!"

"Uh… why?"

"Because DIO's in it! HAIL DIO!"

"I… think he did something to her."

"I shalt breathe sense into her in a moment as well." Fybi said. "For now, Cheren takes priority." With a deep breath, Fybi breathed the Winds of Truth on Cheren's deformed being.

Ganon's Castle

The Dark Lord sipped a cup of boiled blood. From his balcony, he watched the army's assault. Now, he was seeing a beacon of green light. "What a pity… I was really hoping for a chance to fight him." Ganon set his cup down. "Lord English… you piss me off."

"I love you… you love me… We're a happy family! With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you…"

The Backup Army stood with mouths agape. Just as they were in the midst of their fun… he appeared. And he was singing the most atrocious song.

Lord English materialized from where Cheren once laid. And what happened next was truly mind-boggling: he faced the Backup Army with malice and said, "I won't let you lay a finger on my new friends!"