(Sinclair Side Story) Hugging It Away
Samuel POV
"Is something bothering you? You have been spacing out a lot lately."
"No, it's fine. It's nothing serious."
"Really? It seems like you're really deep in thought."
Currently, Stella is reading a book while she is leaning on my shoulder. We just finished dinner, so we wanted to rest by lounging a bit on the bed.
I said that to Stella, but...I'm actually worried for our upcoming outing today. I just don't want to bother Stella about it... She is supposed to enjoy that outing after all...
After my promise to plan the outing this weekend, I never actually had time to plan it.
Ever since Stella and I made up, we hang out all the time to compensate for the lost time when we aren't together. After all, we missed each other's company for a very long time. As a result, we stuck to each other like glue whether we lounged around in my room, ate, or even slept.
In addition to that, Catherine started coming to our house more often because mother asked her to study with us.
As a result, I don't have enough time to rack my brains and come up with a plan for the outing.
If my past self was here, he would have finished this already.
Guhhh...What happened to me...Why can't I think any better...
If I had just become that person, this would've been so easy. Why can't I just be like him again?
This outing is my apology for them, for being a burden for them. If I just thought of a simple outing, it is almost as if I just failed them to show that I've changed.
Such simple things, I can't even do them. What have I become?
I don't want to hear them say...
"Don't worry about it, Samuel...I'm sure you'll do better next time."
"We had fun, Samuel; don't put yourself down over this."
I don't want to receive their pity... I want them to see that I did my best for them in my apology... I want them to see that they can rely on me...That I changed... That I am not the childish person anymore who only brought them nothing but burden...
That lingering feeling inside my chest won't go away, piercing me every time. As these thoughts keep swirling in my mind, fatigue suddenly wears me down as my vision becomes blurry.
Them putting up with my childishness...I can't become that person again...
I need to work harder... I don't want to disappoint them... I don't want to burden them...
Huh...Wait.... Why do I feel soft?
As I was thinking these thoughts, I felt a warm sensation all over my body, as if it was comforting me.
"Stella!"
As I got my vision back, I saw Stella hugging me out of nowhere.
"What are you doing?!" I said, surprised with the sudden development.
"You're frowning again...I want it to disappear."
As she mouthed those words, Stella looked at me with concern in her eyes. She then tightened her hug on me as her cheeks are on my chest.
"Even though I don't know what you're going through, if I can put you at ease even for a little, I'll do it for you. Just tell me; I'll do everything to make your worries go away." She smiled at me tenderly, waiting for my response.
Stella, who is caring as always, wanted to wash my worries away. As a result, it dissipated along with the fatigue that has been brewing inside me, only filling it with warmth.
She has always been the same ever since we first met.
"Thank you for being there for me. You're truly a saint."
"I'm just doing what you would have done for me."
"Still, thank you so much, Stella. This helped me a lot. Just hugging me right now is enough."
As Stella hugged me, I hugged her back to reciprocate her warming affection.
As uneasiness in my mind dissipates, it is only filled with tenderness as I cherish this moment with Stella. I hold this moment dear in myself, treasuring the affection Stella has always been giving me.
Even after everything I've done to you, you still cared for me, cherished me, and and did everything for me. No matter what happened between us, you still stayed by my side.
That's why I realized what is truly important for me.
To show her what she truly meant to me...
Because
I'll do everything to make her happy.