123. Of balance, stereotypes and a little intermezzo

Cassandra Pendragon

"And you think you're the best choice to make them listen?" Ahri asked.

"Honestly, yeah. I'm a walking cliche, the princess without a home, hunted by a dark wizard for her blood and magic. If I've got you by my side, we'll even have a fated romance story without ever lying. Most knights and nobles will fall over their feet to help us out. Am I wrong?"

Another bark brought my attention to my mom. -that's why I wanted you to get involved with our politics in the first place. But you shouldn't confuse lip service with true help and this time, you won't be asking for a place to stay or a chance for us to rebuild. You're bringing bad news and even if someone believes you, they'll just as soon become scared and turn on you. People are strange like that.-

"You're both right," Ahri said. "But that's not what I meant. I agree, you'll be easily able to get your foot in the door, which will allow you to tell your story but afterwards… you're not trying to negotiate a trade agreement or the rights to form a colony, you want to make allies, or dare I say friends. People who will invest resources based on your word alone. That takes time, unless you have something to bargain with, which we don't. To speed thing up you'd have to play a game of patience and promises and that's a terrible idea. Do I have to remind you that you're very much bound to your word? Others don't have that problem. People lie, Cassandra. More often than not and they'll forget what they promised the moment you walk out the door. I thought your last misadventure would have taught you as much."

"That's why I wanted to visit your family and the elves first. Knowing you, your people can't be half bad and with the sisters we already have someone on our side, someone who holds sway with the elves, unless I'm completely mistaken."

"What about the fey and dragons?" Mordred chimed in. "Shouldn't we try to get their support? They are as much part of this world as we are and we know members of their species who would vouch for us."

"A homeless child without wealth or connections and an exile who lost her realm to one of her brothers while she was incarcerated," Ahri scoffed. "If we can even find them, we'll be laughed out the door. Don't forget they don't see us a fully sentient, but rather well educated animals. It's purely speculative right now, anyways. We should wait and hear what everybody says, before we make plans involving them. The questions is, is there something we need to discuss privately beforehand?"

"I'd like to talk to Mephisto and if possible the spider," I answered, "before meeting anyone else and there are a couple of things I want to get done today. Nothing too important but I don't want to wait."

-like what?-

"It has never come up but I found a living creature, encased in crystal, in the dragon's hoard. I want to set it free. And then there are a few personal things like finally getting to know the set of runes that activates my stamp and if I've changed somehow since rebuilding my body. The usual," I added with a shrug and a grin.

"I'm not even going to bother asking for details but checking up on your abilities is probably a good idea," my brother replied. "Did you know that your skin is glowing silvery? You're practically sparkling…" He sniffed the air before he continued. "And it's not for the reason I'd usually suspect. Oh, when you're out and about, you should also make the time to visit Viyara, as soon as you can. She's… she didn't take your disappearance well. You were closer to a meat skewer than a living being when last she saw you before you fainted for a day and a half. You mean more to the girl than you know."

"Of course I will. Erya as well, but I imagine she didn't miss me half as much, now, did she? How did that happen, by the way? Did she find a barrel full of mead and nearly drowned?"

"Hilarious. Ask her if you truly want to know, I won't tell…" my mom interrupted him with a growl.

-before we get entirely off track there's something else. I'm not able to care for the kids in any way, not right now, for all intent and purposes you two and Arthur are the last living royals of our people. If we had still been back home, the responsibility would have fallen to you, Mordred, since Arthur has left. As it stands, you have a decision to make. If we simply wait to reunite with your brother and allow him to integrate the children into his colony, you will both lose any claim you have to leading them in the future. Arthur will become the undisputed regent of our people, he and his lineage. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but it means we'll only be spectators after we have handed them over.

Their future won't be our, or rather your, responsibility any more. After everything that happened, do you both want that?-

"No," I immediately answered. "But I don't think it'll turn out that way, either. I can't imagine that Arthur would begrudge us some authority, for as long as we don't endanger the rights of his heirs. He's never been one to stand on principle unless he was fighting for his friends or family. And, well, I won't have children of my own." Strange how the last time I had heard that, I had apologised to Aurora and now I was the one feeling like a pit had opened at the bottom of my stomach. I swallowed dryly and continued. "As you said… wrote, he wants his lineage to rule over what he has built. I don't have that, so it should be easy enough to reach a compromise."

-what do you mean, you won't have children? Is it because… that can be solved, there are spells for that sort of thing.-

I glanced at Ahri, unsure of how to reply. She smiled at me sadly and nodded.

"No, it's not that. Even with others, neither of us could. We're… we're barren. Our whole race is…"

"You can't reproduce," Mordred blurted out. "Of course, that's why there aren't many more of you. It has always bugged me that you're supposedly immortal, yet I've never heard or seen… sorry."

My mom reacted quiet differently. In a flurry of movements she somehow managed to climb onto my shoulder, some of her tails circling around my neck while the rest pulled Ahri in closer. She didn't say a word, not that she could, even if she wanted to, but I didn't need to hear her voice to understand her. I rubbed my cheek against her flank and whispered:

"It's okay, it really is." Without thinking I reached out and slung my tails around Ahri and Mordred. "I've got all the family I need, right here." My brother struggled for a moment, I already knew that he wasn't exactly the hugging type, but after a second I felt him relax. "Great, now I feel like a jerk," I heard him mumble, which broke the tension. I shoved him away with a smile, kissed my girl and placed my mom back on the floor. "You should, I'm quite fragile, after all. What are mortal enemies compared to your lose tongue?"

"Apparently nothing more than a nuisance. I'm still sorry. And somewhat grateful, to be honest."

I arched an eyebrow. If he was going to say I was living proof that Darwin had been right, I'd punch him squarely in the face, no questions asked.

"No, damn it, that's not… I was thinking about what mother said. If you deal with Arthur I won't have to get involved, that's what I meant."

"I always thought you were looking forward to having a say in matters. Not anymore? How come?" Ahri inquired, her arm still wrapped around my waist.

"Old age, a lost home and a few regrets. The ones who strive for power are more often than not the ones least suitable to wield it. Just look at what happened to us over the last days. I'm not so sure I wouldn't be the one to burn an innocent life if I thought it just. The ends justify the means… I'm not going to fall into that trap. Never again. I'm more than happy to stand back and let Arthur and Cassy worry until their heads explode what's right and wrong, what's justifiable and what isn't." I was speechless. I knew he was smart, even when his broody, sometimes misanthropic nature got the best of him, he was clever and educated but that… that was wise. Again, a quote was fluttering through my mind: Strong men are forged in war, Great men are tempered by it.

-I'm proud of you, son. Hearing you say that… it's your decision but I think your selling yourself short. I'd be more than willing to trust your judgement. Besides, I'll still drag your butt back by the tails if you run down the wrong path.- for the fracture of a second his expression changed, I thought I saw a deep seated fear paired with self loathing and anger flicker across his face but it was gone too fast to be sure. Again I reached out and grabbed his hand.

"We all make mistakes. But only if you allow them to define you, if your past smothers your future, you'll truly be lost. Trust me, I should know. Don't fear what you might do wrong, hope that you can make it right." He huffed, but this time I was certain I saw a tear shimmer in the corner of his eye and he didn't shy away from my touch.

"Are you both adamant about dragging me into this mess?"

"All three of us, actually," Ahri chimed in. "I also don't think you should simply stand back. We've known each other long enough that I'm allowed to say: some real responsibility would do wonders for you. You've been an onlooker for too long, it's time to prove that you're more than a wiseass."

"Fine," he barked. "But how do you think this will play out? I, for one, do very much plan on having children, believe it or not. And I'm not going to forfeit any of their rights when I'm going to bust my ass off rebuilding this kingdom. I'm not that charitable, at least not yet…"

-if you're willing, there are several ways. We've lived in a kingdom with four royal families for centuries and it has worked until the end… more or less. Marriage is another option. Arthur is bound to have a daughter sooner or…-

Mordred took the parchment from her. "Nope, not going to happen. I'm not even willing to consider marrying my niece. Honestly, that's not been done for over two centuries. Are you insane? That's exactly the kind of reasoning I was going on about." The little fox shrugged and pawed his leg, eager to get back her only mode of communication. Grudgingly Mordred complied but he was seriously miffed, entirely understandable even though I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing.

-your call, but if you want to rule, you'll have to sacrifice many things usually taken for granted. Depending on how we proceed, your hand in marriage and your children might become very valuable. Which reminds me. We should keep it to ourselves that Cassandra can't have them. At least for now.-

"Why," I had to ask. "Admittedly, I hate the fact but why keep it a secret?"

-sweetie, I… I don't know what to say. It's stupid and degrading but you'd instantly lose much of your allure once word got out. Remember what you said, why it should be you who tries to find allies? Outspoken or not, many would only listen in the hope of one day adding an exotic, beautiful princess to their family. A dream that can get you far, but only for as long as everyone believes it's possible. Besides, as shortsighted as it is, a woman who can't give birth will always have to proof herself… I don't want that. You've done more than enough, you already deserve respect, even gratitude. I don't want you to have to fight for it.- Right…

I'd have liked to argue, but I knew she was right. The image of a family with a loving, caring mother was deeply ingrained into every aspect of our life, for better or worse. Much of how people reacted to us was born from their own desires and stereotypes, projecting their idealised version of what should be onto others. I wouldn't be able to change that, I had an inkling feeling that I might have tried and had been killed for my troubles, but maybe I could use it. I leaned closer into Ahri, cherishing her warmth. Once again I was glad that, at the heart of the matter, I didn't really have to care how anyone saw me, except for her.

"Blimey, and I thought being the second born was bad…" Mordred stopped mid sentence, his ears twitching. The constant, calming buzz from behind the tent flap, the faint sound of hammers on metal, the distant voices of the children, even the heavy footsteps of the dwarfs, they had all died down. Before I could move, the sunlight, filtering in through the tent, darkened as a huge shadow crossed over us. A moment later, a furious gust rattled the tarpaulin and a thundering roar echoed from above. A roar I had become very familiar with, the roar of a dragon.

Who? How? I was out in the open before I had the time to form coherent thoughts, my wings a blazing inferno of light behind me. The camp had changed since last I had seen it. Several improvised and hastily erected tents formed two windswept rows opposite the cliff side while the two larger ones I remembered had disappeared. Raging winds threatened to shake them loose while sparks and smouldering bits of wood were thrown through the air like swarms of fireflies, setting the cloth on fire wherever they touched. Another gust of wind, accompanied by a rising pressure in the air, washed over me, carrying with it the smell of sulphur and heated gold.

My gaze rose from the frozen dwarfs and cowering kitsune to meet a beautiful nightmare. High above us, a mighty creature of sparkling gold and unchecked fury roared its displeasure to the sky, a wave of magic pouring from him like water. My heart sped up and I felt the cold dread of a rabbit hiding from a wolf flow through me, demanding I'd flee from a predator, larger than a sky ship… Not today, buddy, by now I could safely say: I've seen bigger, I've dealt with worse and I'm just about fed up with being someone's prey. My fear didn't vanish but with every heartbeat, I felt a flame of anger grow in my chest, an irresistible urge to fight, not flee.

I spread my wings as far as I could, tasting the traces of his energy on the wind, the changes in pressure each of his wing beats caused and the undiluted terror of the people I wanted to protect. My tails fanned out while more and more power rushed from my core, smoothly flowing through my body until my hair started to float statically, despite the storm. Small flashes of silvery blue light raced across my skin as I narrowed my eyes and…

"Wait! Cassy, wait!" Ahri had stepped through the maelstrom of energy behind me without hesitation, her wings a fiery spark of red against the fury of silver, which parted around her like a curtain as she was stepping through,

She threw her arms around my waist and held me tight: "you can't hear him, but he's talking. Please, the magic, it's telepathy, he… ah, there, look!"

I saw a flash of bright, golden light from within one of the tents and a second later, Viyara burst into the open, fully transformed. She shot into the sky and despite the difference in size, her own roar rang out, a deafening challenge, emphasised by the stream of silvery golden flames that cleaved through the air in front of her. At the same moment I heard her voice in my mind: "Please, stay back, leave him to me. He won't hurt anyone. I think… I think he's a relative."