170. Of roles, family and a little bit of change

Cassandra Pendragon

With every word, Mephisto had straightened, until it seemed like he was towering above us, like a giant. "How many virgins have you turned, in your quest to seek hollowed fulfilment? How many had to suffer to silence your needs?" He rose from his chair and the shadows that had clung to Tharos dispersed, only to reform around the demon like a cloak. His horns manifested, streaks of hellfire dancing between the prongs of his crown. Heat repressed the lingering cold, but it wasn't gentle or warming, it felt like a living, vengeful beast, ready to tear into us at any moment. And for the first time today, I was afraid.

"Tell me, Tharos, what is left of the little boy, who craved only the power to protect his loved ones? When did he die? Was it when you first killed to fill the gnawing hole in your chest, or was it when you began selling out what you hold dear to gain your master's favour? Tell me why I shouldn't end this farce, right here and now. Tell me why I shouldn't treat you as the rabid animal you are." Even more quietly, he continued: "tell me why I shouldn't pick your mind apart and throw your moving carcass over the cliffs."

By the gods, I had forgotten… I could only watch in silent shock while my mentor… my friend made us remember who he truly was, an unchained immortal, absolute and pure, who had reclaimed a spark of his power. At first, I felt shaken, but with every moment that passed by, I could feel my temper rise, a growing ball of anger in the pit of my stomach, that gradually drowned out my fear. I didn't understand why, if anything I should have been thankful for his intervention, but I wasn't. Instead, I felt corner and my wings began moving under my skin.

No one in this world could stand up to him, no one could challenge him… no one but me. As much as I wanted to hide, to let him have his way, I couldn't. If I turned away now, I would condone his actions, I would return to an eternal world of black and white, of right and wrong without salvation, and I had already sacrificed too much, in this life and the ones before, to allow that to happen. I had to believe that we could change, that we weren't defined by the mistakes of our past, a vampire as much as a hunted angel. That was something I would have to stand for, even against my friends, if I didn't want everything I had ever done to become meaningless. I couldn't let Mephisto break him, just because he thought Tharos deserved it for what he might have been. That was a line I couldn't let him cross, or I would lose him. By the gods, why did everything have to be so complicated? Why did I always have to choose?

"Because I won't allow it," I said, my voice as quiet as his. "Because this is no trial and you're no judge, he came here willingly and he leaves the same way. Because you wouldn't do it to protect or to save, you'd do it for your own vanity and I won't let you fall into the pitiful state my brother is in. Because you'd have to beat me senseless, and I doubt you could, even now." His burning eyes turned on me and I almost flinched as the presence of a demon bore down on me. While everyone at the table stared at us wide eyed and I felt Ahri tense, ready to spring into action, he said:

"Do you think that's wise? He's given up on redemption, long go. There's nothing left to be redeemed. I know you ignore the truth from time to time, but people like him, they don't change, they can't. They're similar to us in that regard, aren't they," he added with a nasty smile.

"You're wrong," I whispered. "Otherwise, I'd be dead, Ahri would be lost and you… you wouldn't be here." A humourless scoff escaped him.

"Don't get smart with me. You don't know anything about me and the two of you… you've always been different, for longer than I can remember. I'm telling you, there's nothing in him but darkness and a thirst for blood. Don't be fooled, Cassandra."

"Try me," Tharos interrupted us. To his credit, his voice wasn't trembling, well, not much, at least.

"Your quarrel is pointless, there's an easy way to proof my claims. You've made it plenty clear that you can read my mind, if you want to. Go on then, dive in. I won't resist."

"With pleasure," Mephisto instantly replied and I was almost certain that I had seen a smirk creep across his face. Had he been playing us? Or rather, had he been manipulating me, or the vampire? Shadow and flame receded from him and before he focused on the fox, when everybody else was busy breathing freely again, he winked at me, almost as if I had been helping him, as if I had done exactly what he had wanted me to do.

I wanted to be mad at him, I really did, but the fire in my belly subsided instead, while a wave of relief slowly spread through me. His theatrics had been more than worrisome and I hadn't liked the situation he had put me in one bit, but I had to admit, if he's intention had been to cow Tharos into revealing all of his cards, he had played his hand perfectly. Not only was he going to find out exactly what kind of mess we had stumbled into, again, but he had also given me a chance to hide behind his back. Whomever Tharos was reporting to, their interest wouldn't be solely focused on me, when they heard what had happened here. I might even have the chance to heal properly, before I was dragged into the depths of vampiric society.

While I was still contemplating the demon's behaviour, he himself was making his way towards Tharos, a curious spark shimmering in his eyes. "Now, we'll see," he murmured when he placed his long, pale, fingers lightly on either side of the fox's head and closed his eyes. I felt a surge of power and then both of them went rigid, almost as if they had been frozen. With a shudder, I turned away, my attention snapping back to everyone else.

Ahri was still on my lap, her tails curled around my legs, and I could feel the energy that was continuously circling through her body, ready to spill out at any moment. She was as tense as a bow string and for a moment I couldn't help but smile at the thought of how she would react if I poked her side. Not that I really would, I wasn't completely loony, after all, but I was still tempted. Her squeal might even be worth it, inappropriate as it would be. Get a grip, Cassandra!

I nestled my head against her neck and breathed in her scent, dulled as it was. While my heartbeat slowly calmed down, I realised that I was shivering and covered in sweat, it had already been too much for me. "I'm a mess," I mumbled. "Thanks for everything, I don't know what I would do without you." She turned around to kiss me before she whispered:

"I didn't do much, did I?"

"You would have, and that's more than enough. I love you."

"There's a room upstairs, but don't we have more pressing matters to attend to," Erya interrupted.

"I do enjoy the view, mind you, but… vampires?" She moved towards us and wrapped us both up in a hug. "And thank you," she murmured. "I think I've said it about a thousand times already, but… you were asleep. So, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. At least this time, it wasn't for a small eternity. But I do hope that getting incarcerated doesn't turn into a habit. Even though, being rescued might make it worth it."

"Oi, could you stop flirting with my sister, I'm right here, you know?" Even though he sounded serious, it was the first time I saw Mordred smile, since I had woken up. The short exchange did wonders to lighten the mood and when Xorlosh chuckled into his pipe and my mum materialised again, I felt considerably better, as did everyone else, going by their grins. Everyone except the servant girl, who was still white as a parchment with eyes as big as saucers. For a moment I contemplate heading over to her, but truth be told, I simply didn't have it in me to comfort her right now and judging from the frighten stares she shot in my direction without ever glancing at me directly, it wouldn't be welcome anyways. Maybe some of my magic had leaked out when I had confronted Mephisto… whatever the reason she looked at Erya, Viyara, Ahri and me like we were some kind of beast, dangerous and wild.

Where the others were concerned, I couldn't blame her, Viyara was still half transformed, Erya's horns still shimmered in an eerie green and the slowly subsiding surge of energy within Ahri could even have been felt by a sloth, but seriously, what had I done? Oh, right, I had made her collapse with a few words. Maybe it wasn't that surprising that she wouldn't look at me.

"The seven winds may curse you, you're all completely crazy," Pete suddenly exclaimed. "What did I ever do to deserve this? There's a friggin vampire in our midst and you just… accept it? Have you lost your goddamned minds?"

"I might considering running, if I were up to it," I chuckled. "But frankly, after dragons, fey, spiders and the few surprises we came across on the last island, he doesn't seem so scary. I know that's not saying much and from what Mephisto said, I should probably be a bit more cautious, but right now, I just can't get myself to care for much except for how I'm going to get back up the stairs later. Anyways, the two of them seem rather… introverted at the moment, so… what should we do when they wake up?"

"That's not much of a tussle to figure out," Xorlosh replied while he refilled his pipe. "I'd still vote for chopping off his head and purging the city, but that might be a bite to big to chew, even for us. If I'm not completely mistaken, Tharos isn't half stupid. He came here, fully prepared to show us who or rather what he is. It stands to reason that he, or rather the people he speaks for, are quite interested in our help. He's used the word family… me guess is, that, at the centre of it all, we're dealing with a family feud. Dunno if it's brothers or parents or cousins, but I imagine we'll find out soon enough. A part of them is in cahoots with the captains while the other faction plays in the shadows on the streets. And now, they want to know who's the biggest bully in the playground. If I'm right, poor, ol' Tom is probably already dead and as soon as this one leaves," he jerked his head in Tharos' direction, " the next messenger will arrive. We'll have to choose our side. Trying to stay out of it… well, after everything that went down already, I imagine that's a damn certain way to get us killed."

"Why do you say that," Mordred inquired.

"'Cause they already know of us… as long as we stay here, they'll see us as a threat and only the most moronic bastards would allow us to stay in their backyard. If we don't want to leave today, I fear we'll have to pick a side, for better or for worse. Or we could try to kill them all, like I said. Still me favourite outcome, but I think it might be a wee bit much to take on, don't you agree, lad?"

"Certainly and I think I've already made it pretty clear where my allegiance lies. I don't care too much about who they are, but I want revenge. If it's up to me, every ally of the Mask will bleed before we're done. To clarify, I'm not questioning you're reasoning, I'm simply saying that there's no way between heaven and hell that I'm turning down Tharos' offer. I'd hunt those freaks on my own, if I had to."

"You're hurt, I get that," I said, which earned me a nasty glare form my brother, "but you don't know who was involved and who wasn't. Could we, maybe, try to figure out what's what before we start burning people at stakes? Please, I know how you feel, but…"

"And how would you know how I feel? You, of all people? Tell me, Cassy, when were you ever powerless and at the mercy of another?" I tensed, and if Ahri hadn't been on my lap, I would have gotten to my feet, my shaking muscles be damned. Was he stupid?

"Are you kidding me? Rack your brains, that can't take more than a few seconds," I hissed. "Want me to answer alphabetically or chronologically? You were tied to rack and poked with sticks, damn it Mordred, a few days ago I had stalagmites shoved through my limbs! Pull your head out of your…"

"Enough, you two." It was fascinating how my mum could make us blush and fall silent immediately. As if we were still kids and she was reprimanding us. Not that I had been around to watch her chastise my brother, but since I had been at the receiving end of her ire more than once, I could vividly imagine, how it had gone. It was all the more impressive since she couldn't even shout, but her telepathic voice conveyed more than enough to make us listen. "We're already in the middle of another conflict, do you really think that's the best time to squabble like children?" I was on the verge of pointing out that he had started it, but somehow I didn't see that going all too well for me.

"Thought not," she continued. "I do understand what's going through your mind, Mordred, I was there as well, but that's no excuse to stop thinking. We're in no position to hunt after petty vengeance. There's so much more to think about, I thought you knew that, after everything that has happened." Before I could relish in the fact that she had taken my side, she turned to me:

"And you could very well remember that not all of us have the luxury of an immortal core that helps us deal. Honestly, I'm glad that you have the mental resilience of a cockroach, but you could still try to be a little more empathetic, from time to time." I tried to argue, to be honest, the comparison had stung, but she quickly raised her paw.

"I know you don't lack compassion, but sometimes you just forget that most of us can't go to bed after getting hurt and wake up the next morning as if nothing happened. I'm grateful that you can, Cassy, but I can't, and neither can your brother. So… could you cut us some slack? We're trying, we truly are, but we simply aren't immortal and your attitude isn't helping."

"I didn't…" I began, but she cut me off once more.

"I'm not trying to sound reproachful, but you can't expect us to take everything that has happened over the last weeks in stride. Your brother isn't mad at you, he's mad at the world and frankly, who can blame him? It's become a lot easier for me since you changed me, but I still have trouble sleeping because the fires that devoured Boseiju ignite in the darkness, every time I close my eyes. So… you were right, of course, I told you as much this morning, but it's a bit unfair to use the same yardstick, don't you agree?" So much for taking my side, but she wasn't wrong.

"I… of course." I faced Mordred and added: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to belittle what you had to endure. Forgive me?" He shrugged and almost smiled.

"Sure, and I'm sorry, too. I'm somewhat out of my depth, but I didn't intend to blame you, even if it might have sounded like it. I… I think I need some time to myself. I've just proven that I'm not a tremendous help right now. I'll support whatever you guys decide to do, but I don't think I can make any sensible decisions right now." He quickly got up, as if he was trying to flee and turned his head away from us, Was he crying? I couldn't tell, but if he was, there was no way I'd let him be alone right now. My mum had been right. I took too much for granted. Some things simply needed time to heal, time and more often than not, a shoulder to cry on. Luckily I didn't have to volunteer mine. Before he reached the door, my mum hurried after him, waving her tails at us apologetically. "I'd ask if you want some company, but I'll come either way," she projected.