199. Of traumas, friends a little bit of consequences

Cassandra Pendragon

"The slaves… that's another scheme you can't control. You're creating more and more problems instead of solving hem. Don't you see the pattern? Tell me, why don't you just fly across the ocean and end this farce? Do you honestly believe that there's someone left who could stop you?" Ahri's eyebrows almost vanished underneath her bangs, Mephisto and Mordred rolled their eyes, my mum rubbed her paws along her snout as if she wasn't a part of the unfolding drama and I… I was completely perplexed. Had she not been here for the last few minutes? Wasn't that exactly what I had been asking? It didn't make any sense, why was she… unless…

"Could you give us a moment," I asked quietly. My mom stretched her back and smoothly got to her paws, strolling out the door, her tails swaying. Ahri breathed a kiss against my lips and resolutely ushered the other two out of the room, leaving me behind with a dragoness who wasn't able to look me in the eyes anymore.

I simply stared at her in silence and waited until she'd find the courage to meet my gaze. It took a couple of minutes and observing the change in her expression in the meantime was rather… enlightening. She blushed and scowled, tensed and relaxed in rapid succession, a visible sign of the turmoil in her mind. Her fidgeting didn't help either.

"I'm sorry," she finally whispered, still looking everywhere but me.

"You don't have to apologise, but still… care to tell me what went through that head of yours?"

"Not particularly," she mumbled and I sighed in response.

"Fine, then, do you want me to guess?" Her eyes widened and shot upwards, something close to fear or panic rising in their sparkling depths.

"You know," she replied, her voice even quieter than before.

"That you're falling for me? Yes, I know and truth be told, I'm quiet flattered. But I can't understand what set you off right now. Look… I trust you and I trust your judgement, but I have to be sure you're thinking with your head and not your heart. Quite hypocritical, coming from me, believe me, I realise, but… please, I know how difficult this must be, but I need to understand why you suddenly… snapped. If I can't tell whether you're actually onto something or just overcome by hormones, I can't take you seriously and I imagine that would truly make things awkward."

I could tell my words had riled her up, a mixture of anger and embarrassment clearly visible in the sharp line of her jaw and the ferocity with which she finally met my stare.

"Do you really think I'm that much of a child," she suddenly spat, the venom in her voice quiet the unwelcome surprise.

"Usually? No. You're unbelievably mature for your age. That's why I've always included you, even when I've sent my own sister packing. But right now? Viyara, do you really need me to tell you that you're a mess right now? You even apologised when you calmed down. And I have to know why, otherwise…"

"Otherwise you won't be able to rely on me, since you can't know when I might snap again." She took a deep breath and composed herself, at least on the surface. With much less fire in her voice she continued: "honestly, I'm not quite sure myself. No… that's not true. It just sounds stupid, even when I'm thinking about it, never mind saying it out loud." I smiled at her gently and said:

"I think we've been through enough together that you don't have to worry I'd think any less of you. Whatever crazy turns and twists you might have come up with. Viyara… you know we won't ever be lovers, but I can assure you, I still love you, maybe not in the way you'd like me to, but… all hells, you're carrying a part of me in your chest. Do you honestly think there's anything that you might say now, that would, in any shape, way or form, change what I feel for you?"

"No… but when you put it like that, it's almost depressing," she answered with a lopsided smile. Before I could even draw breath to reply, she hastily continued. "Save your breath, I've known from the start… it doesn't matter. So… you wanted to know why I acted out? I… remember what I said? That you fear clean cuts, endings? I… I was afraid that it's the same with me, that you're not actually keeping me around because of me, but because you're afraid to lose a resource you might need, later on. That I am, in a way, nothing more than another gem you're collecting to carry around and use when the time is right. And that… I couldn't live with that." The last words were nothing more than the quietest whisper and if her trembling voice hadn't been enough to tell me just how scared she actually was, the tears pooling in her eyes would have convinced me, all on their own. I didn't say a word, instead, I got up and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into me. She resisted for the fraction of a second before she buried her head in the nape of my neck and I felt hot tears dripping on my skin.

"It's alright," I whispered in her ear. "And just to be perfectly clear, that's nowhere near the truth. Gods… please, tell me honestly, have I ever given you a reason to think that?"

"No… never," she snivelled. "But I can't help it. I know that's on me, but I can't… I simply can't change how I feel. Usually I can shove it all down but today…"

"What changed," I quietly asked.

"First… this morning, when Ahri kissed you, the way she looked at me and Erya… and then you vanished again and I couldn't… and when you returned, you brought another pretty girl with you…" I wanted to ask if she meant Layla or her mother but I managed to bite my tongue before I said something incredibly insensitive. "It was just too much," she continued. "And I really am sorry. You're right and I have been listening. I know you can't…" she tightened her grip around me. "I know you can't just kill Amon, you would if it was possible. But… and this isn't just my fear… or anger speaking, I still think trying to build a slave fleet is a bad idea."

I thought she was desperately trying to change the topic as quickly as possible but I wasn't going to resist. Maybe it would have been better to finally get everything out in the open, air the laundry so to say, but I wasn't exactly enjoying our girl talk, either. And honestly, this was something she had to figure out for her self and while I wasn't overly worried, she'd probably forget all about her feelings for me once we met a few other dragons, I still imagined I'd be the last person who could help her. The more I tried to comfort her, the more problematic it would become. Not that I intended to hide my affection for her in any way, I just wouldn't force the issue. Ultimately, she would have to find a way to deal with her fear of abandonment. Oh, the irony…

"Really now," I said and gently extracted myself from her embrace. "And why's that?"

"You've never seen or been around slaves before, have you? I've grown up with them, as appalling as it might be it you. They… after a while, captivity warps the mind of all things but for culture creating beings… some simply give up after a while, some manage to remain themselves and some… they don't appear different on the outside and even docile, but the first chance they get, they'll lash out at everyone and everything. I don't know how many of them there will be among the humans, but are you sure you want them armed and onboard your ships?"

"I… yes, I think so. This must sound cruel, but I never expected this to work without some bloodshed. That's why I wanted to involve the humans we captured. I'm quite sure they know how to deal with slaves… former slaves. And while I wouldn't risk my assets on such a gamble, keep in mind, we have nothing to lose, nothing at all. We have neither ships, nor soldiers. And even if all of them takeover their vessels and make a run for it, we would only have lost gold, of which, I've recently found out, we have more than enough," I added with a smile.

"Then why don't you simply support Alassara with money? She must have a much easier time than us, not to mention she'll actually stay here and can keep an eye on everything."

"You're completely right, but… I've been in a fight at Layla's side, I've seen the beast that slumbers within them. Don't get me wrong, I like them both but I'm not fully convinced… they're predators and I'm not so sure they can always fight their nature. Their desires, their needs are unbelievably strong and I'm quite sure the emperor knows a thing or two about vampires. I'm reluctant to place all my eggs in one basket. That's the reason why I'd rather have… a backup." She thought about it for a while before she leaned back into me and asked:

"Whom do you plan on leaving behind, then?"

"Well," I chuckled, "I wanted to ask Mordred but since he is dead set on visiting our brother, that's not an option, is it? One of the minor reasons why I was so angry when he told us what he wants to do. I know, I know," I quickly added when I felt her gathering her breath to reply, "I'm a hypocrite. Sue me."

She blinked confusedly: "sue?"

"Ah, right. It's a proverb from another planet. I don't know why… no, I do, I think, but some of my mannerisms are still from earth. Remember in the tomb? The et tu Brutus is another one from there." A knock on the door and a silky voice calling my name interrupted me.

"What is it?"

"The vampire is stirring. You should better come along," Ahri called from the other side.

"Vampire? Oh, you mean Aurelia. She's still here? I thought… never mind. We're coming. One minute. Where did you put her anyways?"

"Viyara knows. I'll wait for you downstairs. Don't take too long." I heard her light steps retreating down the corridor and the distant, quiet creaks when she descended the stairs.

"Want to stay here," I asked the dragoness and patted her head. "I think we could manage without you if you wanted some time to yourself."

"No, I… I'm fine, sort of. I'd rather be with you than alone now, anyways." I sighed.

"You're never truly alone, you know that. I… would it make you feel any better if we were to work on our connection in the next days? I'm convinced we could find a way for your telepathy to reach me wherever I am. Who knows, maybe you could even learn to summon me, the same way I can call Ahri." The first real smile tugged on the corners of her mouth and even though it was quiet rewarding, I was still an idiot. Here I went, doing exactly what I had considered a bad idea,.

"Oh, I don't know about the second part but the first I think I've already figured out." She closed her eyes and I heard her voice, but it wasn't the same feeling I was used to. Her words resonated form within my core and not from the outside, as if she was truly a part of me. The connection was also… stronger. Her thoughts and feelings were constantly swirling through my mind, an ever changing landscape, that, at the moment, reminded me of a stormy night with the first glow of the dawn, rising in the east. Each cloud contained fractured moments of her past, carried along on mighty rivers of emotion and thought, a perfect representation of everything she was, laid bare before my inner eye.

"I could even feel you when you were inside the summoning circle, but since Ahri was there…" I immediately knew why she was trying to say. She hadn't wanted to impose herself on us.

"I… thanks for your consideration, but honestly," I pinched her side, which elicited a soft squeal, "please, next time, don't shut yourself out, especially when you're struggling. Come on then, let's meet the newest relic we've dug up. Oh and… if you want to, you're very welcome to keep the link open. I don't mind in the least. Just… don't try to snoop around my memories, would you? I'm not quite sure what you might find in there."

"I… are you sure? I can see your thoughts and…"

"I know. Really, it's fine. I'm not trying to hide anything from you. I… if I'm a part of you it's only fair that you get to be a part of me, as well. And like this, you'll always know that you're not some pretty bauble I'm keeping around because I'm afraid to lose it. I want you to be a part of my family. Now… and for as long as you can stand to be around me. I'll never push you away." The fur on my tails rose up and I blushed when her lips met my cheek.

"Thank you. I'll try to keep that in mind. And don't worry, I won't try to push." She got up and offered me her hand with a smile. "Shall we?" I allowed her to pull me to my feet. Before we left, I quickly swooped up Shassa's gem and the encased snake, just in case.

While I had been out and about, they had place Aurelia in one of the smaller rooms downstairs. She laid on her back, her wings a soft, feathery mattress she rested on while the tresses of her reddish mane flowed around her peaceful face like a halo of rubies. She wasn't breathing but her fingers twitched form time to time and I could see her eyes move underneath the lids. The rags she had been wearing were gone, replaced by a white, silky nightgown that covered her form her neck down to her ankles. Faint, golden specks of light dance across her skin, almost as if she was an ethereal being and her power was seeping through body, barely tethered to the world.

"She's beautiful," the dragoness at my side breathed when we entered the crowded room. Besides Viyara and myself, Ahri, my mum, Mordred, Mephisto, Xorlosh, Auguros, the two elves and even Reia were scattered around her bed, waiting with bated breath for her to open her eyes.

"That she is," I replied and swiftly made my way to Ahri's side. We were both positioned between her and the rest of the room, a living wall, ready to hold her down in case she wouldn't be as peaceful once she regained her consciousness. With the smell of ozone and a sound like breaking glass, my wings manifested and I wrapped them around the bed, fixing the sleeping beauty in her place. Ahri took my hand and entwined our fingers. She gave me a small smile and a nod, her silky voice barely audible over the crackling of my wings.

"I wouldn't have allowed your sister to come here but she insisted… apparently, if Aurelia manages to break free from either you or me, Reia won't be safer anywhere else and I have to admit, she's not wrong. Even your mother agreed."

"I'm not mad, not even surprised. Any ideas how long this might yet take?"

"She started moving a few minutes ago. When Astra told me, the elves have been keeping her company, I immediately called you. It shouldn't be…" right on cue, Aurelia's eyes fluttered open and a soft, warm light spilled through the room. Instantly she tried to get up and I felt her strength as she pushed against my wings, but… well, I wasn't that young anymore. With a thought I sent more energy through my body, the glow form my eyes intensified and with a surge of power, I pressed her back down. Unfortunately, while she wasn't harmed, the bed couldn't take the pressure and splintered with a loud crack. Disoriented and panicked, Aurelia struggled against my embrace, determined to escape the silvery chains that tied her down.

"Calm yourself," I said, my voice resonating with a spark of transcendent power. "You're not in danger here. I… I know you fear me, but there is no reason to. You asked for my help and I… we mean you no harm. You're safe… and free." With a final squeeze I loosened my hold on her.