238. Of enemies, convictions and a little trap

Cassandra Pendragon

"You won't and it is." Distractedly, I took the last few steps towards the door and gave the guard a pressed smile. He swallowed visibly, his eyes tracing the outline of my wings, a growing fear reflected deep within them. He shouldn't have underestimated me, in the first place. Tough luck.

"What's that," I asked. 

"Save his life. You won't. It's already lost, but he can still be useful. To either of us." I froze, half way across the veranda. As if in trance, I glanced down, studying the man in my arms. He hadn't changed, much, but his expression had shifted, a vacant, dissociated smile spreading across his face and the burn mark on his neck was starting to get warm, almost hot to the touch.

"Who'd have thought, I'd ever rest against your bosom, like a child against his mother's? I certainly haven't." I dropped him immediately and jumped back, my heart thundering in my chest. My wings came down to form a shining dome of light around us, but he only laughed mechanically, as if he had long since forgotten how laughter was supposed to sound like.

"No reason to fear me," he said in between cold, cruel barks. "You can't hurt me and I can't hurt you, for now. Why shouldn't we use what little time this puppet has left, to get to know one another? I've been dreaming about this moment for the longest time. It's a pleasure to meet you Cassandra, even though I had hoped, you'd be in chains, when we were first going to meet."

Panting, I struggled to keep the surging tide of pain and anger at bay, but it didn't work. With each passing second, with every beat of my heart, I felt uncaring, uncontrollable fury build up inside my veins, a bottled thunderstorm, ready to break free. Finally, the one person I had been looking for, I had pursued, I had dreamt of meeting was right here, but yet, I couldn't touch him, couldn't hurt him. The realisation stung more than I cared to admit. I was powerless, despite the echoes of eternity, coursing through me, despite the strength of aeons at my fingertips, I could do nothing to satisfy my dire need for retribution.

"Chains won't protect you, the Great Sea, won't save you," I hissed. "One day, we will come face to face and then, you'll finally understand, that you've ended your own life, the very moment you burned my home. There's nothing for you to do, but drag out the inevitable. I'm coming for you, Amon, and there's nowhere to hide. Even your transcendent pet won't be able to keep you alive. This, I promise." A small part of me, the one still thinking clearly, wondered why there was no reaction from my core, but I had simply reiterated a promise, I had already made. One way or the other, this would end. There wasn't enough space on this world, in this multiverse, for the two of us to live. One of us had to go and since I was immortal…

"Well said," he chuckled, his voice still holding that eery, detached cadence. "With your looks and conviction, you'd make for a fine bride. Unfortunately, I need your blood more than I want your body. What do you say? Surrender to me now, and I swear, your family, your friends, your love… this city, this continent, they'll be safe. I won't lift a finger, I won't cast a single spell to harm either. Seems fair, doesn't it? The death of one, who can come back from the clutches of oblivion for the life of many? The longer I think about it, the more I'm starting to believe, you'll have to sweeten the deal, somewhat. But I'm generous and benevolent by nature and won't insist."

It took me several moments to process what he had said, the sheer gall made me shiver in anger and before I knew it, some of my wings wrapped themselves around his neck. He was slowly pulled into the air, his face turning redder by the second, but while I was practically frothing at the mouth, he was… humming happily, albeit through a constrained windpipe.

"That's the spirit," he wheezed. "Add another innocent corpse to the growing pile. Who knows, if you squeeze hard enough, I might even feel it, even though I highly doubt it." His voice cut off near the end, but his mirth didn't falter. It was, as if he was watching an act unfold, a play without any real consequences. Which probably wasn't too far from the truth. 

I bit my tongue until I drew blood and just barely managed to reign in my emotions. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction. The only victory I could achieve here, was making sure John would survive. Paltry it might be, but I was going to take, whatever I could get.

Grudgingly, I allowed him to fall to the ground, my wings, once again, an impenetrable curtain around us. With a projected calmness, that didn't reach deeper than the mere surface, I said:

"What a generous offer, but I fear, I'll have to decline. Soon, you won't be  a threat to anything I cherish." He coughed and spluttered, angry black-red welts around his neck indicating where I had used too much energy. Still, despite the obvious pain his host was in, he grinned manically.

"And they call me selfish," he whispered. "Can you really take it? Dead children, burning homes… all of it, because you're too attached to one tiny aspect of an unending life? That's pathetic."

Without thinking, I took a step forwards and slapped him. "Don't… don't you dare. Don't lecture me on right and wrong, you've lost sight of what it even means, when the seas of blood you spilled, failed to fill the whole, the death of your father left behind, haven't you? You're nothing, a corpse, clinging to life, a phantom of misery, hollow and spent. Why are you even here? You must have known, I'd never even consider your proposal."

"Spoken like the queen you'll never become. Fine then, let's make this simple. You know what I can do, you've lived through some of it. Admittedly, up until now, you managed to fight back. It'll be different this time around. Everything you are, everything you love, is here, right now, and I'll take it all away. I might not be able to harm you directly, but I'm going to bury you in so much misery, that you're going to beg me to stop, no matter the cost. Picture it: your mother, broken and caged, your brother, disembowelled and dying on his own sword, your lover, maimed and raped, a plaything for…" he didn't get any further. His words had felt like parasites, slowly digging into my mind, conjuring images that'd haunt me for days to come, but instead of undermining my confidence, of weakening me and making me see the futility of my struggles, they had only served to stoke the flames, already singeing my thoughts. From one moment to the next, the fires swelled, consuming my fear, my hatred and then, even my anger. Hotter and hotter they burned, until they became cold as ice, a raging inferno of frozen memories and crystallised fury.

"Silence," I whispered and silence there was. "Broken? Maimed? Raped?" My wings emitted an eerie tone, while my power rushed through my veins, uncontrollably. "Leverage for you to force me into submission? I think not, not while I still draw breath. And you know why? Because you're here. A door opened, can be passed through in either direction." Swaths of entangled knowledge, of magics unknown on this planet, surged at the edge of my consciousness, concepts of existence and reality, much too complex for me to understand. But I didn't have to understand, I only had to ask. "I can see you," I breathed, my world shattering into motes of silver and light.

The grey veil of the world was torn away, the inconsequential puppet of bone and flesh became transparent and there he was, a paltry king on a bloody throne, erected on the suffering and death of an entire people. A crimson crown burned on his brow and the stolen essence of uncounted sacrifices blurred his form, but before my eyes, he appeared naked, naked and forlorn. A frightened mouthpiece for the looming shadow behind him. A shadow with a crown of his own, a shadow that was still protecting him from the brunt of my wrath.

"Begone," I ordered, my voice cutting through space and time, ripping through pitifully weak wards. "This is a crossroads for you and me." Every syllable made the puppet king shiver and tremble, his world disintegrating around him with every word I uttered. "Give up your game or you'll have made an enemy of me, for all eternity. It's your choice, Amazeroth. It doesn't matter to me, either way. In the end, you're just another fallen angel. It wouldn't be the first and it surely won't be the last time, I've been forced to kill one of my own. Fate… is but an excuse, and I'm done running." And for the first time in this life, I heard his voice. If it hadn't been for the eternal fires, turning me into someone I was not, I wouldn't have survived. The power of all that could have been and all, that was still to come slammed into me, whispers from beyond reality, a cacophonous song, which carried with it the strength of infinite possibility. Within the confines of my wings, transcendent forces raged, that, if allowed to roam free, would grind this planet into stardust and memories.

"Careful, Lightbringer. Even you aren't above the laws of existence. Don't threaten me, child, while you can barley hold your own powers in check. Maybe one day, you'll be able to stand before me and bring me to my knees, but this is not that day. Even now, I can see your resolve crumble, your attachment to those, you claim to love, weakens you. You're but a shadow of what you once were and I won't be threatened by an empty vessel, filled with the echoes of a life, long gone. If it wasn't for me, you would have long since vanished and it wouldn't take more than a word, for me to make it happen. Begone, Cassandra. This is not your time, not yet. Once you wear a crown of your own, I'm prepared to bow to you, but until then, you'll play my game or I'll make you pay in ways, you can't even imagine. Whether in this life, or the next, or even the one after that, I'll get you to listen, I'll get you to see." Colours danced before my eyes, a maelstrom of alternatives swallowed me whole and still, he thundered on:

"Until then, don't come near me, unless you want Amon's threats to become a reality. He might not have the strength to take from you what you love, but I do and if you force my hand, I'll bring it down on you and crush everything you've ever hold dear, before we move on to your next life. You think you know me? Fragmented memories from a life, you can't remember… let me tell you this: when Lucifer was born, I was already old. I've earned my crown and I've lost my wings. I won't allow a pup to question my motives. Earn that right, fight and suffer, grow and wither and maybe next we meet, I'll see more than an entitled girl, clamouring that the world isn't fair."

Calmly, dispassionately I said: "you are mistaken. I am… still alive and you've made your decision. You won't live to regret it, though. It seems like you've never truly understood who I am, after all." Quietly, almost like an afterthought, I added: "ex tenebrae lux," and my core reacted. 

A surging tide, a consuming flood of all I had ever been, rushed forth, carrying with it the promise of oblivion. The tunnel opened and the light at its end began to stir. I felt tendrils of my power tear through my tattoo, weaving an impenetrable cocoon around Ahri, while smaller, weaker rivers of scintillating light targeted Viyara and Erya, the promises I had made keeping them safe. Unstoppable, irresistible currents of pure, undiluted force raged through me, building up to a crescendo that would annihilate everything and everyone my gaze fell upon. My wings grew, gradually at first, but with each fractured second, while time tried to move through a frozen door, they expanded further until…

"Enough." A word, an order, that wasn't directed at me, for I was far beyond its reaches. No, it was commanding someone I had once been, not too long ago. "Desist. You aren't ready, yet. Wake up, Cassandra, stem the tide. Don't lose what we've been working for." I blinked.

"… a plaything for whomever I see fit. She'll curse your name, before the end, and I'll make sure she'll stay bound to her flesh for as long as you defy me." I stumbled backwards, my mind in turmoil. A part of me was still reeling, still flooded with so much power, it nearly drove me crazy. Even the despicable taunts couldn't break me out of my stupor. The world stuttered and trembled and I fell to my knees, thick, silvery streams of blood rushing from my nose, my eyes, my ears. My wings flickered and I screamed, a wave of pain crashing into me, the likes of which I had never experienced. It wasn't my body, for it had already changed to accommodate my strength, but my mind, my soul, crushed under the weight of countless aeons, I had been forced to bear, if only for a moment.

I couldn't see, I couldn't hear, Amon's words unintelligible gibberish in my ears, while I desperately clung to whom I was. It was difficult, as every ragged breath I took, brought back memories, further fanning the flames that threatened to consume me. The worst part: I knew there was an easy way out. I felt the cold lingering, just beyond a flimsy wall I had erected, more by instinct than wisdom, and I knew it could wash away the pain. But then, I would change, truly and utterly. I wasn't yet strong enough, hadn't lived through enough, to hold my own against a being, so much older than I had thought. If I was to give in now, I would become him again, would revert to what I had once been, all my suffering, my dreams, my love, my life, it'd have been for naught.

Amazeroth hadn't saved me, he had given me a chance to fight, but even his magic couldn't change me. I had one moment, one decision, or the light would break forth and the war would begin, consuming everything I had ever known. 

"Not…today," I groaned, marshalling every ounce of willpower I had left and every little piece of stubbornness I could call my own. Like a rock, almost smothered by the breaking tide, I held on, sometimes lost beneath the surface, sometimes just above the waves, I fought for my life. Caught between what I was and what I had been, images from my past, exploding stars and vanquished planets, mingling with scenes from my present, I tried to remember. Not what I had lost, but what I had gained. Faces flashed before my inner eye. My father, my mother, my friends, my siblings… and her. Her smile, her smell, the softness of her touch.

My heart stuttered, but I didn't care, I was entranced, warmth gradually spreading trough my body. The cold receded, as I remembered what she had done. I owed it to her. I couldn't leave and I would not. Not now, not ever. I had promised. "My name is Cassandra," I whisper and then, with more conviction: "I am Cassandra Pendragon and I will not change." I coughed, the flow of blood from my nostrils turning into fine spray, as I collapsed and my wings disappeared.

Curled up into a ball, I wrapped my trembling tails around me, desperately longing for a tiny bit of comfort. While my mind was on fire, my body felt as if it was freezing, my muscles stiff, my joints creaking. The ice wouldn't dissipate this easily. Stubbornly, I forced my eyes open again, but I only saw a bright, silver sheen until I realised, it was my own blood, shimmering in the sun. Like an old woman on her death bed, I struggled to raise my hand and wipe it away. I ached and every movement seemed like one of Hercules' tasks, but I didn't give up. While the surf of a hundred oceans thundered in my ears, my vision finally cleared.

At first, I only saw blurry outlines and slithering shadows, but quickly enough, they collapsed into forms and figures. A street, the smouldering pieces of a door, glowing cobblestones and people, screaming in panic, running heedlessly from left to right and back again, like headless chickens. And there, only a few paces away, I saw the crimson flames I had been searching for. Ahri was coming, her wings burning brightly while she rushed towards me like a descending star. A smile formed at the corners of my mouth, but my attention was quickly diverted, when I felt bony fingers close around my arm. "This was easier than expected," John said, his face a lifeless mask.