263. Of doubts, trouble and a little dream

Cassandra Pendragon

With my fingertips, I leisurely traced small circles on her back, relishing in the heat she still gave off. If I had been forced to describe how I felt in a single word, it would have been content. 

"You're amazing," I whispered, burying my face in her hair. "And agonisingly beautiful."

"I'm not the only one," she mumbled drowsily, squirming until her tails rested more comfortably around my waist. "Do you think we still have time for a nap?" Judging from her tone, she was already halfway there. I would have liked nothing more than to oblige her, to close my eyes and drift off for a few more hours, but we, or at least I, couldn't.

"I'll be lucky if I have the time to bathe. Arthur's arriving today." She tensed and pushed me to arms length, her eyes glowing. 

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I grinned sheepishly.

"Honestly? I forgot. You're pretty distracting, if you want to be." I rolled onto my back and sighed. 

"What is it," she asked, while she snuggled into my side. 

"I'm nervous, maybe even anxious. It's been years, Ahri. What if he has changed?"

"Of course he has. We all have, but he's still your brother." She kissed my neck and added: "I don't buy it. What's really going on?"

"His arrival… it's a harbinger of change, isn't it? Up until now, we've only spoken about plans and possible courses of actions, but nothing really happened. We've just been going with the flow. Not anymore. We either go with him or we don't… I don't have much of a choice, I have to head north within a few days, but everyone else… what if it's a mistake to leave them? What if I'm wrong? Yesterday… Archy said, they'd be lucky, if I ever was to become a queen. They're my people and here I am, chasing after elves and fey and dragons. I know why I'm doing it, but it still feels wrong… it feels like I'm hiding, cowardly running away, once again. Am I?" I felt her tails caress the inside of my thigh, causing goosebumps to erupt all over my body until the vixen pinched me.

"Ouch, what was that for," I complained.

"Cassy, whatever you are, you are no coward, you never have been, but you are… not only a princess of a kitsune tribe. I've told you before, sometimes, you have to choose. No one can be everywhere at once, not even us. If you honestly believe, you can achieve more by staying, then you should, but somehow I don't see that happening, do you?"

"No, not really," I replied morosely. "But why does it feel so wrong, then?"

"Because they still are yours, by law and deed. After everything we've been through, I'd be astonished if you didn't have any doubts. Besides," she added, smirking, "it's the first time you'll have to leave your mom. I'm sure that's terrifying all on its own." She immediately became serious again. "If you wanted to, we could take them with us, you know? No one would stop us." I shook my head slowly.

"No, they need a real home, a place to grow in peace and wherever I am, that's not something I can provide. It's bad enough, that… right, you don't even know. Last night, Reia and her friends ambushed me, in a way. It's not only her, but the other two want to come with us, as well."

"What did you say?" I shrugged.

"That I'd think about it? I wanted to talk to you, before making any promises." She smiled.

"Don't tell me, you're finally listening to me. That'd be a first." I pouted but she only laughed. "You know it's true. Still, I think that's your call. I'm with you, either way. I've gotten attached to the rascals and since we already have to look after one child, two more will hardly make a difference."

"That's not helping, at all. I'm inclined to let them…" a knock on the door interrupted me and before either of us could say anything, Xorlosh's voice rang through the hardened wood.

"They'll be here in two hours, just received the message. Could you two join us in about 30 minutes? I've already drummed up everyone else, didn't think you'd find the time."

"We will," I called and when his heavy footsteps retreated along the corridor, I rolled around to get up. "So much for a relaxing morning. I want a bath. Will you join me?" 

"Definitely. There's…" again, we were disturbed. This time, the door opened all on its own, my mom strolling through a second later, two wrapped up packages hovering in front of her. She obviously hadn't felt the need to knock and even jumped unceremoniously onto the bed. At least we had already hidden under the covers when Xorlosh had knocked.

"Good morning. Here," she projected. "I'm glad I still managed to catch you. I want you to wear these, or rather… I want Cassy to wear them and I'd feel honoured, if you did, too, Ahri." I raised an eyebrow and fumbled with the coarse linen wrappings. The contents were squishy and heavy.

"And a good, undisturbed morning to you, too," I grunted. "Don't tell me… that's a dress." 

"Two, to be precise. Don't roll your eyes. First impressions are important."

"First im… are you kidding me? We've been fighting for weeks on end and I still have to dress up like a doll? What for?"

"Because all of the adults will see you for the first time, since they left," her words were accompanied by a low growl, deep in her throat. "I've overheard the last few sentences of your conversation. Think, young lady. Why do you think, it matters?"

"Because they'll remember me as the person they're going to meet today," I mumbled, somewhat resigned to my fate. "If I was to wear my usual clothes, they'd think I'm a servant or a warrior. Even after they'd realise their mistake, they might not change their opinion, which would make it that much harder to have them listen to me. Fine. Could you get out now?"

"Why? Do you have somewhere to be?"

"Yes and we're naked," I mumbled exasperatedly. "So please, don't make it more awkward than it needs to be. I'll wear it, I promise, but could you give us some privacy?" She showed her fangs in a very feline grin, jumped onto the floor and sauntered out of the room without so much as a glance over her shoulder. Just before her fluffy tails vanished around the corner, she said:

"Do hurry up, would you? Otherwise I'll have to drag you from the tub and that'd be much more embarrassing for both of us, than me walking in, after you had sex." To say I was blushing would be the understatement of the century and judging from Ahri's gasp, she didn't feel much better. Reflexively, I reached for the pillow and threw it after my mom, but the vixen had already disappeared around the corner. I could only grit my teeth and pretend like nothing had happened.

Resolutely, I pushed off the bed and wriggled into my old clothes. The downpour last night had washed off the scent of the burning city and most of the dirt, but they weren't serviceable in any way, torn and singed as they were. On the plus side, with my figure, I looked less like a hobo and more like an adolescent, who was trying to show as much skin as possible. The little things…

"Do we need to talk about what just happened," Ahri asked, when I resurfaced from the black cloth. She had already put on the leafy dress, Lyra had made.

"By the Great Fox, no! I'd much prefer to pretend like nothing happened, in the first place."

"Same here." She nimbly floated to my side and grabbed my hand, interlacing our fingers. "Let's not waste anymore time, then. If we have half an hour, I want to soak for a while. Come on, I'm sure, it'll be the last quiet moment for the day. If we're lucky, we'll even be alone."

"Whatever do you have in store for me," I teased, as I allowed her to drag me along.

30 minutes later, I stared in abject horror at the glittering mess of silver and black, shimmering in the dim light of the baths. Elaborate, elegant, sensual, beautiful… there were a million and one adjectives to describe the abomination of embroidered silk and stiff velvet, but the only ones, I could come up with, were heavy, unpractical and shameless. The thing was cut out deep, left my entire back, down to my tails, uncovered and had a slit along the left side, that went up to my hip. I wouldn't even be able to put on any undergarments without showing them off to the entire world.

"Crazy, that woman is simply crazy," I complained. "Most parents would forbid their daughter to go out, wearing something like this, and she forces me to! Where did she even get it?"

"Well, your family isn't normal, by any stretch of the imagination, but I must say, this time, I do appreciate her quirks. You'll look stunning, darling. And I'm sure, she's had them tailored, as soon as she had the funds to spare. Maybe she even asked Viyara for help. I'm certain the dragoness will appreciate the amount of skin you're going to show."

"Mock me all you want, I'm sure, yours won't be much better. Let's have a look, shall we?" Without waiting for a reply, I ripped the second package open and instantly became conciliated with my mom's meddling. Ahri's dress was exactly the same, except hers was coloured white and red and slitted on the right. This time, I didn't have any problems, coming up with more flattering adjectives. To be precise, I didn't shut up, until she silenced me with a kiss.

"See? They're not that bad. I'll help you with yours and you'll help me with mine?"

In the past, Ahri had always been the one to help me dress formally and, consequentially, it didn't take long until I was clad in silvery silk and dark velvet. I, on the other hand, had next to no experience and she had to guide me through the process. I didn't mind, though. Wrapping her up like a present had its own appeal and I thoroughly enjoyed the excuse to touch her freely. Not that I really needed one, but it was fun. Maybe I'd soften my stance on elaborate clothes, at least a bit. When I had finally managed to tighten the last, hidden strap, I said:

"Would you spin once, love? I just want to make sure everything stays in place." Not entirely true, I also wanted to watch her move, but it wasn't a lie, either. I definitely didn't want her to show more, than we already did on purpose. She obliged me, twirling round and round, her long tresses complimenting the soft, silken folds, dancing around her. I wolf whistled, mesmerised by the beautiful display. "Gorgeous. And the dress doesn't look to bad, either," I stated, grinning.

She curtsied and faced me, her eyes smouldering: "have you looked in a mirror? You're absolutely breathtaking. What do I have to do, to get you to wear something like this more often?"

"I'm easy to bribe. Ask me nicely and I might comply. I expect you to return the favour, though."

She laughed merrily and hugged me. "That's settled, then. I can't wait to reach the elven island. From what I heard, we'll have more than enough opportunities to dress up, then." Despite myself, I had to smile. If it was for her, I'd do anything and putting on a dress was a cheap price to see her happy. As long as she didn't insist on making it a daily occurrence, I'd be fine. I leaned forward and caught her lips. A breathless second later, I whispered:

"There isn't much time left. I didn't want to ask, but how are you holding up? I know you slept soundly and you don't seem any different, but I need to know. You didn't even cry." She didn't tense up, which assuaged my worries immensely.

"Cassy, I've been hurt, nothing more, nothing less. It wasn't the first time and it won't be the last, either. As long as you're still by my side, I don't really care, same as you. Don't ask me to hide in a small metal box, though. That's not going to happen, anytime soon." I smiled and pulled us closer together, until I could feel her warmth all over my skin. Still, I wasn't entirely convinced.

"Then I won't. Thank you, Ahri, thank you for protecting my family."

"They're not only your family, anymore. They're mine, as well." She touched her bracelet. "There really is no difference, which… by the way, where is yours?" 

"Huh, that's actually… give me a moment." I closed my eyes, focusing on the distant thrum of power, connected, yet separated from my own. The bracelet wasn't damaged and a heartbeat later, fuzzy, but gradually sharpening images flooded my mind. I blushed furiously and immediately severed the connection. From the looks of it, the old geezer was much more… vigorous than I had thought. 

"Still where I left it," I mumbled in response to Ahri's questioning look. "But it surely seems like old Zuma isn't expecting to live for much longer. He's… celebrating. If you can even call it that." She raised an eyebrow but didn't ask further, when she saw me shaking my head. Instead, she wanted to know:

"The zoologist? What happened in there, anyways?" I stared at the floor, feeling guilty.

"I think he helped make the artefact, the Emperor used on you." I had been told the whole story, the night before, so I already knew what had transpired while I had still been stuck with Lyra. "Not the cage, but the device, that allowed him to channel a spark of your power, without burning to a crisp. I'm not sure, though. Something else we'll have to find out. But considering he is spending all of his money on booze and women, right about know, it's a safe bet to assume he's somehow involved." I hung my head. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have let it go, or at least told you." She touched my shoulder gently, waiting patiently until I lifted my head and met her gaze.

"You're feeling guilty, aren't you? Don't. But it's about high time we got a chance to properly catch up, don't you think?" I could only nod vehemently in agreement.

"Sure is." I eyed the door cautiously and added: "you know, we can fly. There's nothing stopping…" she tenderly covered my mouth with her fingers, the caring touch contradicting her exasperate expression.

"Cassy… you can't just run away anymore, every time you don't feel comfortable. Are you really contemplating fleeing from your brother?"

"Not really," I admitted. "But it was worth a shot. Best to get it over with, then." With a courtesy, I opened the door. "After you, Milady."

"Thank you, your Highness." She waited for me in the corridor and offered me her arm. "Would you grant me the honour of accompanying you for the day?" I giggled obligatorily, albeit entirely happily, and clung on.

"Please, I'll be in your care. I'm not going to ask my angelic knight to protect me, though. The last time, I got more than I bargained for."

"And you also did most of the protecting, if memory serves." We made our way towards the deck, hand in hand. The smell of drying hawsers and seasoned wood had already become homely and I closed my eyes, learning against Ahri. If only…

"I want a home," I suddenly blurted out, surprised by the plethora of emotions that had swamped me without warning. I quickly covered my mouth, still puzzling over where my outburst had come from. It was true, it always had been, but I had never truly thought of it as a priority. More like a luxury, a, most likely, unobtainable luxury. Apparently, my subconsciousness disagreed. I expected Ahri to shrug it off or even smile indulgently, but she did neither. Instead, she pulled me closer and whispered in my ear:

"So do I. I never wanted to push you, but if you ask me, it's high time you started caring for the seed, Greta left you. Make it grow, make it flourish into a blooming tree. I know you can."