269. Of convictions, judgements and a little bit of acceptance

Cassandra Pendragon

"I hate to burst your bubble, kiddo, but I did." He glanced at my mom and shrugged. "Or rather, I've been told. It was the first thing she said to me, after I opened my eyes. Well, maybe the second." He bowed elegantly and added: "welcome to the family. It's a pleasure to know my sister has found someone as beautiful and capable as you. I'm sure she'll be just fine, as long as you're with her. Please, take care of her in my stead."

"I'll do my best, but it's not always easy." Hesitantly, she stepped towards him but when he opened his arms, she hugged him tightly and added: "it's good to see you again, Arthur. It's been too long. We've missed you." 

"That's really touching," Sylvia interrupted impatiently, "but it's neither the time nor the place." Still, she managed a smile, as she continued. "We'll have every chance to catch up, but for now…," she turned towards the kneeling soldiers, her smile gone, "we have to deal with this."

"I," Arthur corrected her calmly, "I have to deal with this." Sighing, he pushed Ahri back gently and turned to address his men. In all honesty, I had expected the ensuing scene to be somewhat ridiculous. Dignity and a fluffy gown usually didn't go hand in hand, but as soon as he opened his mouth, I was immediately disabused of the notion. His erect posture, the strength in his voice and the utter confidence, oozing from his every pore made it very clear, that he didn't need fancy armour or a crown to be a leader. His entire presence demanded obedience and it was heard. 

"Make no mistake," he began, "this is a trial, nothing more nothing less. What you have done is treason, plain and simple. You have raised your weapons against your own people, against the companions of your princess." He paused, catching the gaze of every single one of his kneeling warriors, but none could hold it for more than a second. "We do know you, however, your loyalty, your pride and your conviction. We want to give you a chance to explain, especially to the ones you have attacked, why you acted. We hope there is a good reason for what you have done."

Squirming, they looked at each other hesitantly, anxiously, but none dared to speak. "It's fine," Sylvia said, her words carrying in the lingering silence. She looked at her feet, but her voice didn't waver. "Tell him, I know I'm partly at fault. The truth needs to be heard." Ahri had already surmised, that her stance was one of the reasons for what had happened, but this sounded different, more like she had been involved directly. Discreetly, I tugged on Ahri's hand and we slowly moved to stand with my mom and Reia. It wasn't a good idea to linger close to Arthur. If there was one thing I wanted to avoid, it was the impression of me, trying to influence my brother's decision in any way.

After another glance, to make sure no one else would speak up, one of them, a surprisingly tall and burly kitsune with three long, black tails, finally opened his mouth. "My liege, while it's true, that the Lady Sylvia didn't hide her reservations, we acted of our own accord."

"Reservations," my brother rumbled, casting a sideways look at his wife. "What reservations?"

"Your sister." The speaker jerked, as if he had intended to face me but had decided against it. "I'm sure you're aware of the rumours… she was to be exiled and a day later, Boseiju went up in flames. We've all seen it, she isn't… one of us. Not entirely. The Lady feared, she might bring the same fate down on us, which has befallen our brothers and sisters. When Cassandra," I wasn't the only one who picked up on the missing honorific, "came here, we were… concerned and we acted. We never meant to harm her or her friends, but we fully intended to force her away. We didn't follow orders, but we thought we acted in the best interest of our people."

"And what lunacy has befallen you to think, you have the right to make such a decision," my brother asked quietly, his voice holding a threatening cadence, sharp like polished steel. He turned to his wife and added: "the same goes for you. You must have worked tirelessly, ever since we have been injured. Why would you focus your efforts on discrediting our family?"

"I haven't," she replied defiantly. "I've been trying to do what you taught me to: protect our people. You've heard the stories as well and she even admits it freely: she isn't just the little girl we watched over, while she took her first steps. I'm not saying she did it on purpose, but the holy tree burned because of her." She faced me and looked me squarely in the eyes. "Or am I wrong?"

"You aren't. If it hadn't been for me, our home would have survived." Everybody seemed to hold their breath while I spoke, confusion, anger and even pity reflected in their eyes. "Because of me, we have been attacked, because of me, many have lost their lives… parents, siblings, loved ones… I won't deny it." I closed my eyes and my wings vanished. "But it's also because of me, that there is still hope, that there's someone left to remember… blame me all you want, but know this: a storm is coming and you won't stand a chance of weathering it without my help. Yes, without me, it might never have even reached you, but none of us can choose the skin they're born into. I never wanted to become a catalyst for war, but since I am, I'm going to make sure my people… my friends… my family will survive." I opened my eyes again and a harsh, silver light illuminated Sylvia's face. "Unlike you, I never willingly left a single one of my people behind, whoever they are." She squirmed under the weight of my gaze, unable to answer it, while a deafening silence descended upon the ship.

No one moved, the only noise came from the creaking planks and the humming rigging until a heavy thud echoed across the deck. A heartbeat later, it was followed by a second and a third as one by one, the soldiers fell to their knees, their fists clenched above their hearts. Elated and a tiny bit embarrassed, I watched their salute in silent amazement, while their deep, resounding voices crashed into us like the tide. "Long live the Crown, long live the Pendragons."

"It seems like you have your answer," my brother said to his wife, quietly enough that probably only Ahri and myself were able to pick up his words. "I'm not going to dissect your motives in front of every one, but you still owe me an explanation. Is that understood?" She nodded anxiously, the prospect apparently everything but desirable.

Thrice, the assembled group hit their chests, thrice they iterated their salute, their promise, before they fell silent again. Stiff and rigid, Arthur raised his hands and said:

"You have spoken." He faced the accused and continued gravely: "you have acted against the royal family. The crime is treason, the punishment is death. However, considering your intentions, we feel obliged to soften the verdict. From this day onward, until my sister decides that you have payed for your crime, you will be hers to command, in body and soul. Her life and her orders will be yours to protect and uphold. We expect you to serve her, as you have served us, until the day you have atoned and can return with honour and pride. Do you accept this charge?"

They exchanged glances and hesitant nods. While I was still puzzling over what I had just heard, they said as one: "we will." Wait. What?

Fifteen minutes later I was reclining in a cozy armchair, sipping on a cup of steaming jasmine tea. The soothing, somewhat soapy aroma, that reminded me so much of home, did unfortunately nothing to improve my mood. I felt cheated. In one fell swoop, my dear brother had rid himself of his most troublesome soldiers, quelled any form of dispute within his ranks and had managed to delegate the entire bucket full of problems. To my chagrin, I was the one who had to deal with it, now. I should have insisted on a flogging instead, I really should have.

"Come now, Cassy, why the long face," he dared to ask with a grin. As you might have expected, I wasn't alone. The entire entourage I had brought along, was with me, as well as Arthur, his darling of a wife and my newly acquired servants… guards… whatever. We were in the very same cabin Sylvia had used to question me, but this time around they had actually provided tea and cookies and a few spare seats. At least in that regard, my situation had improved. The little things.

"You know all too well, don't you," I pouted. "What were you thinking?"

"Why? You could have just declined. If it's that much of a burden, why didn't you?"

"Could have declined my foot. You marked them as traitors in front of everyone, you blithering moron," yep, I wasn't really giving a damn about my word choice anymore, a fact that earned me quite a few disgruntled stares. "You'd have had to punish them some other way and in the end, I would have been at fault, wouldn't I?"

"Didn't you say, you wouldn't care, if you were ostracised," Sylvia piped up in an obvious attempt to get back into her husband's good graces. Or maybe I was just cranky.

I rolled my eyes, but as tempting as it was to simply ignore her, I still replied: "I also said I wouldn't turn away from any single one of my people and that unfortunately includes this lot." From the corner of my eye, I saw Reia wink at Ahri, who returned the gesture while my mom was watching contently from a large cushion, purring. Unsurprisingly, their exchange didn't exactly thrill me, either. Why, in god's name, was no one taking me seriously?

"If I may, Milady," a slow, deep voice interjected. One of the five warriors, who stood on both sides of the door, like actual guards, had opened his mouth.

"Oh, it's Milady now, is it," I groused. "Don't bother, honourifics won't be enough to wipe the slate clean."

"I didn't think so, but the moment we accepted the verdict you became our Lady. It wouldn't do to address you in any other way. Still, would you listen, if only for moment? First of all, thank you. It can't have been easy to accept or maybe even trust us, after what we've done. You're right, when our brothers kneeled before you and named you our princess, they sealed our fate. Treason can't be tolerated and we acted against the crown. Most likely, you saved our lives, or at least our honour. For that alone, we are indebted to you. However long it will take, we will stand by your side and try to prove, that we still are your Highness' most loyal subjects." 

He bowed to me and to my mom. "And your Majesty's as well, of course. Use us, however you see fit. We live a long life and maybe one day, we'll have proven, that the fate of our people is truly the only thing we strive to protect. You're one of the Pendragons, the manifestation of our strength and future. We'll gladly lay down our lives to keep you safe, for as long as you want us to. Please, give us a chance to prove our worth and rectify our mistake." Damn, it didn't really get any better. Now, I couldn't even complain without sounding like an utter narcissist. Not to mention that the whole servitude thing didn't sit well with me, either. I understood, why my brother had made it into what it had become, he had had to make an example out of them to uphold the laws and protect his own position, but I still didn't want to become involved. Admittedly, forcing my greatest opponents to turn into my staunchest allies was clever in its own right, but still…

"Oh, by the Great Fox," I finally grumbled, "fine." I nimbly jumped out of my chair and strode towards them, my wings flickering in and out of existence. I wasn't doing it on purpose, I didn't even realise what was happening, until I heard the sharp intakes of breath behind me and the group of soldiers backed up, until their armour clanked against the wooden wall. I consciously suppressed the fluctuating flow of energy form my core, an erratic stream of power I had allowed to slip beyond my grasp, similar to a nervous gesture, like clenching a fist. The ominous, silvery glow vanished as I took a deep breath and studied my newly acquired underlings.

The five of them were clad in identical scale armour, a heavy shield on their backs, a long sword at their side with complimentary daggers dangling from their heavy leather belts. My brother's coat of arms, a stylised moon, was engraved onto their shoulders guards and heavy, dark, woollen cloaks covered their backs. Two of them were women, three men. The magic in our blood made the physical difference between genders negligible, since one's prowess was mostly determined by one's talent in the arcane arts. 

Still, most soldiers were actually male, but that was more of a cultural bias. It was deemed better for a child to be raised by a mother than a father and consequentially, men were more likely to enlist, since couples were barred from entering service together. Should a romantic entanglement manifest between two soldiers, one of them would even have to resign. It might seem a bit harsh, but it was our way of ensuring, that the crown wouldn't force children to grow up as orphans more often than was absolutely necessary.

The two girls were about a head shorter than me with slender limbs and agile muscles, twitching with tension beneath their fair skin as I came closer. One was a typical fox, sporting two red tails with white, fluffy tips and corresponding ears. She was even a ginger, albeit with a darker, more lustrous hair colour than was usually associated with the term. Her bright, blue eyes were narrowed and with her pouty moth and small nose, she truly reminded me of a fox, ready to dash away from a panting pack of dogs. Her colleague was lighter in colouration, her fur the same shade of whiteish grey as fog, shimmering silver wherever the sunlight touched her. Her eyes were a smidgen darker, almost like storm clouds with their interchanging shades of white, grey and black. She had three silky tails, longer than my own, and large ears with black tuft, matching her hair. In combination with her narrow mouth and straight nose, she was the more imposing of the two. More imposing but also distant, cold.

The men were slightly taller, almost my height, and even though they still possessed the slender characteristics of our races, they were surprisingly broad shouldered, the years spent training clearly visible. Two seemed to be brothers, maybe even twins. I could hardly tell them apart, their short brown hair, slightly darker fur and two bushy tails were perfectly identical and even their features were similar to a disturbing degree. A strong chin, slanted, almost black eyes and a long nose dominated their faces. Their ears were surprisingly small but very nimble, quivering and rotating as I scrutinised them. In contrast to the others, these two didn't carry shields, but longbows, the tip extending over their left shoulder. 

The last one, who had also spoken up earlier, was probably the oldest of the bunch, with three pitch black tails with white crests. He was a tad taller than the other two and was the only one who wore visible battle scars. The tip of one ear had been cut off and one of his tails was slightly crooked, as if it had been broken and had mended imperfectly. His brown, surprisingly warm eyes sparkled with intelligence and weariness. He was also the only one who hadn't backed away and had managed to hold my gaze for more than a second, which led me to assume that he was the leader of the group.

"I'm not going to bite," I addressed them, "and if you're going to stay with us, you'll have to get used to what I am quickly. For now, I want to know your names and I have a simple question: why? You can't tell me that you've suddenly experienced an epiphany and realised, that I'm a Pendragon, only because your comrades kneeled. If you're just trying to fulfil the terms of your sentence, tell me now, but I have to know how much of your impressive speech was genuine."