331. Of memories, demands and a little bit of frustration

Cassandra Pendragon

"Alright, let's have it. It's only our family left, which crazy idea have you been hatching?" The door creaked on its hinges and Emilia's farewell had barely faded away when I broke my sister's concentration, causing her to cough over the last morsels of shaved ice and tropical fruits she had been devouring for the last 15 minutes. "You said you had something to tell us. Go on." Eyes steaming she regretfully pushed the empty bowl away and took a deep breath.

"It's about the future, my future," she finally began, fidgeting like a nervous schoolgirl on her first day. Oh boy. That couldn't be good. "I've been thinking… before I make a fool of myself, could you answer one question?" I shared a look with Ahri and my mom before I nodded hesitantly. "You won't be staying here for long, will you? Not here as in Free Land but here as in on Gaya."

"Depends on what you mean by long, but probably not, at least not for centuries, if that's what you're asking." She nodded slowly, as if she had been expecting my answer.

"Thought so. And when you leave, you'll be headed for a confrontation with your… other family, right? A fight where none of us can actually help you. I'll just come out and say it, I'm sure you're going to yell at me regardless… you're trying to groom me for when you're gone, right?" My mom blinked in surprise but didn't interrupt. "That's not going to work, because one way or the other, I'll be coming with you. Bottom line, you can either waste your energy on trying to dissuade me, pointlessly, I might add, or we can start figuring out how I can become strong enough to actually be of some help. That's it. Now, the faster we get your futile temper tantrums out of the way, the faster we can do something productive, because on this I won't budge." Dumbfounded wasn't even close to how I felt. I was entirely taken off guard and when I opened my mouth I could only gasp like a fish on dry land. Ahri didn't fare any better. Reia wasn't asking, she wasn't even begging. She was telling.

Stunned into silence I apathetically reached for the parchment Serena and Alassara had used to scribble down every influential family they had been able to come up with before it went up in flames. The sparks, dancing along Ahri's fingers, were a sure sign that it wouldn't have taken long otherwise. 

"Come again," my fiancée finally stuttered, her lustrous mane glowing with crimson embers.

"It's not that complicated," the little devil explained nonchalantly. "You're not going to get rid of me, not now, not ever. I'm not delirious, I know what I'm saying. I'm pretty much asking you to turn me into an immortal myself and there shouldn't be a way…"

"Shouldn't," I muttered. "There isn't one. I… I'm sorry for being blunt but do you have any idea what I did when I transformed mother? You can't even begin to fathom what it took and she's nothing more than a… vessel for my own powers. Honestly, she's probably leagues beyond any other mortal creature but that's still a pittance compared to what she's lacking when measured up against a real immortal. Reia… we're barren and there's a good reason for it. There are only so many of us and it can't be changed."

"Really," she asked innocently. "What about the ones you've killed? Or better yet… the ones you're still carrying around with you?" Gradually my confusion turned into annoyance. First off, how did she know and second… what was she referring to?

"By the Great Fox," I erupted, "what are you even…" She smiled sagely, her eyes travelling from my face to my ring and then to Ahri's… chest? No, she was staring at her very centre, at her core.

"I," she began hesitantly, her voice shaking for the first time. "I've had a… dream? No, rather a vision? Something in between. This morning, when Ahri threw me out the door and you… whatever happened to you, I… heard whispers. At first I thought it was just an echo of the voices down below but they called my name…"

"And you followed, didn't you," I interrupted scathingly. Apparently curiosity was as likely to kill the fox as it was to kill the cat. She only shrugged.

"Of course. The whole damned tree is a part of Greta, isn't it? I didn't think anything bad could happen. Until I stood at the door that leads to the roots. I felt a… presence seeping through the wood, blocking out everything else." Ahri groaned and mumbled:

"And you went right ahead and opened the door. Shouldn't it be locked for anyone but Cassy?"

"Probably but I was invited so I simply passed through. I don't think… I know I didn't arrive where I was supposed to. There was… nothing, actually, a foggy, hazy void, filled with… ideas, concepts." She took a deep breath. "I think I was in someone else's mind or maybe memories. Someone old… as old as you Cassy." The way she said it made me shiver. "There was… too much, I couldn't… I feared… but just when my head felt like it was about to explode I was back, my hand still pressed against the door. Truthfully… I think I saw something that was meant for you, Cassy, and I'm sorry. There was so much in there but I can't remember, it even hurts to try. Except for one thing. I saw a… sigil, a rune, more complex and powerful than anything I've even ever heard of. I think that's why I can remember… it's strong enough to persist when everything else just wanes and I know what it does. It… cleanses, it purges." She closed her eyes, a solitary tear running down her cheek but before I could reach out to her she continued in a rush:

"It removes the past, the present and the future of any immortal and you, Ahri, have it engraved on your core. Just like you, Cassy, hold the corrupted essence of a fallen angel in your hand. Don't ask me how I know," I didn't have to, I had a pretty good idea of who was pulling the strings here, even though I was prepared to bet that Amazeroth hadn't banked on my little sister disrupting his schemes. That… message had probably been meant for me but somehow, maybe because we were related, she had managed to trigger it. "But… you can use the sigil to purify and bind…"

"No," I immediately growled. "Stop right there. I know where you're going with this and it's not going to happen. You have no idea what you're asking. Reia, even if, and I'm not so sure that's the case, everything you've seen is nothing but the truth, you'll still…"

"I won't change," she whispered, her eyes dull, as if she was far, far away. "That's what it's for, but not now." She became still, tilting her head as if she was listening to whispers we couldn't hear. My wings manifested and I was on the verge of sealing her in a desperate attempt to sever the connection she obviously still retained with whatever she had seen, but before I could act she added monotonously: "you need more. The burning past and future of two immortals will allow you to crack the seals and return to hell, but the cores you can use. Bind them, Lucifer, bind them to people you trust, bind them to people you love. It's about time we became a family… once again. It's been much too long." She jerked and her head almost hit the table. She barely managed to righten herself in time, panting as if she had just sprinted across the entire island, and blinked at us owlishly. "See, there is a way. Now… could we get the yelling over with? I'm sure you're all dying to tell me how much of a reckless fool I've been, but once that's done, I'd still like to volunteer and since you're the only immortals I can talk to right know, I'd like to know what I have to do to make sure I don't combust or lose myself entirely when it's time." With a satisfied grin she leaned back, apparently waiting for the outburst she was sure would follow. And it did, but not in the way she had expected.

While I was still struggling to make heads or tails of of her half cryptic blabbering and figure out if a small spark of Amazeroth was still lodged within my sister, my mom didn't bother with the theoretical ramifications. She simply got to her feet, pulled her hand back and knocked Reia from her chair in one fluid motion.

"What was that for," the young vixen complained, holding her already reddening cheek.

"As if you don't know," the other little girl retorted sharply. "Why, by all the gods, didn't you come to your sister or me before you followed a creepy, disembodied voice into the bowls of a tree, grown from transcendent forces?" While the two of them were going at it, I quickly glanced around but Lavian had, once again, sought refuge behind his trusted counter. Judging from the quivering tips of his boots, I saw sticking out at the side, he was much too scared to listen in. I didn't have to puzzle long over why, since I could still feel my energies churning through my body, a cold, cruel light distorting my features. Just as Reia stumbled her way through a contrived explanation I bit my lip and forced the infinite currents back below the surface. 

I was spitting mad, and maybe scared, but my anger wasn't directed at Reia. Amazeroth's tally was growing by the day and now he hadn't only hurt Greta but he had even dared involve my sister. If he brought harm to her in any way somewhere down the line, I'd be done listening, I'd be done guessing. He'd die, as soon as we were going to meet. I didn't care anymore if I still needed him, if the universe as a whole still needed him. I'd take a page from the book of my past and shove it down his throat until it'd come out the other end, the consequences be fucking damned.

Everybody has their line in the sand and mine was pretty small. The handful of people I truly loved were off limits. There weren't that many, Ahri, of course, my mom, my sister, Mordred, Greta and Viyara. Given enough time a few others might also weasel their way into my heart, especially Erya, Layla and her mother, but aside from that I was pretty tame. Still, the fortune telling imbecile had already managed to cross it twice. He wouldn't survive a third time.

"Enough," Ahri commanded, her voice silencing the bickering vixens as effectively as a gag and tearing me from my introspection like a bucket of cold water, poured over my head. "Helena, I'm sorry, but this isn't your decision, nor is it fair what you're doing. Reia couldn't have resisted and neither could you have, if you had been in her shoes. As to how to deal with it… that's on Cassy and me, no one else." With a lopsided grin she turned to me and added: "lock and key, remember? I just never thought it'd turn out to be this… literal. Do you think it's the truth? Did he… or someone else truly send you a corrupted immortal, wrapped up in an egg? How?" I shrugged.

"Beats me, but he doesn't lie. Not directly. He also rarely tells the full story. I do believe it's the truth but there's so much gibberish in there… crack hell's seals? Which seals? Also… he's telling us to merge the cores with mortals but I still believe we'd need a demonic counterpart to an angel and vice versa, otherwise they'd be stuck like Sarai… Crap, he said two, didn't he? An angel and a demon. Goddamned, power hungry morons!" I closed my eyes and massaged my temples. I felt a headache building, which should be impossible, and my heart was beating like a war drum.

"So… does this mean we're going to try," Reia chimed in, still holding her throbbing cheek.

"You can't be serious," I spluttered. "But you are, of course. Grant me patience! No, no we're not and do you know why? Because you kept it a secret for a whole fucking day! Do you…"

"I didn't," she objected quietly. "I only managed to recall bits and pieces when I told you I wanted to talk. Before it was just… blank. I knew I had visited the cavern and stared at the door but that was it. Everything else, what little I can remember, just slowly came back to me over a few hours." Rolling my eyes I got to my feet.

"I can't deal with this right now. Ahri and I are heading out and you'll return with mom and take that poor blighter, hiding over there, with you. End of discussion. Tomorrow we'll talk but I swear, if you so much as think about playing around with those memories, I'll not only put an end to this whole endeavour, I'll also leave you behind when we go to the elves. You know how dangerous my family is, how dangerous Ahri and I are. You…" I shook my head, suddenly exhausted. "Please, just do as I ask. I'm only seven but ever since I've met you, I'm aging about a century every single day. At this rate I'll become white haired and wrinkly before the year's over and I can't even age." Without another word I whirled around and went outside. The cold light of the stars and the crispy night air soothed me as I leaned against the wall, breathing heavily. Judging from the hushed, tense murmurs I heard Ahri still had few things to say but I didn't bother with listening in. She'd tell me if I had to know and right now I didn't care overly much.

Instead I fumbled the piece of parchment from my pocket and cursed fervently when I heard it rip in two. I had chosen my trousers when I had still been recovering from my ordeal in Shassa's tomb and since then I had regained my curves. Consequentially the pants had become skintight. Frustrated, I punched the wall but instead of the expect jolt of pain I felt the the oaken planks splinter under my hand. A bit of energy had escaped my less than secure grip and I had put a decently sized dent into the facade. Perfect, just friggin perfect.

Groaning, I curled my fingers into fists, closed my eyes and took a few, deep breaths through my nose. Everywhere I turned something or someone seemed dead set on ruining my day and the disguised devils I had come to call family didn't make it any easier on me. At least I was starting to understand how much trouble I had caused Ahri over the years, considering my little sister was doing her best to pay me back tenfold. What was I even supposed to do? For now nothing, as much was obvious, but the whole conundrum wouldn't simply disappear only because I wished upon a star. Sooner or later I'd have to make a decision. Reject her and the possibility that she might become mine… one of mine, forever, or allow her to take a dive off the deep end that might either end her life or turn it into something else entirely. 

I knew enough about her to realise that she'd never let this go willingly, she had even told us as much. Either way, the girl I had come to know would be lost to me, whatever I decided to do. If I closed the door on her, she'd run away and if I didn't, she'd become… that was the question, wasn't it? What would she become? Something new? The future? Or would she be ground to dust under the weight of eternity, her precious spirit warped into something different? Holy hells, how was I even supposed to make a decision? Gods, I felt like someone had put my heart in a vice and was slowly squeezing every bit of life from it. How had I put it in the past? Love was a fucking nuisance. I hadn't even been close to the truth. If I just didn't care so much, it'd be so much easier to act… but then again, what would I even be fighting for? The icy darkness of solitude might have been a great shield against pain and insecurity but it wasn't enough to stay alive, truly alive.

I jerked when I felt soft fingers brush against my cheek and the smell of pine trees enveloped me like a blanket. "You're close to a heart attack, aren't you," Ahri whispered in my ear.

"Of course I am. She's my sister, for Christ's sake. Not only did his Creepiness pull her into one of his schemes, no, he even gave her an idea she has taken to like a fish to water and which might just as well kill, corrupt or outright erase her from existence." Tears stung in my eyes when I buried my face in the nape of her neck and breathed in her scent. "I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. Ahri I need help. I need someone to tell me it's going to be alright, even if it isn't."