395. Of secrets, alignments and a little bit of trouble

Cassandra Pendragon

"Mom, Aglaia, would you see me out," I asked over the tumult of Mordred enthusiastically dipping the heads of our guests underwater, time and time again. If I didn't know any better I'd have suspected he was enjoying himself. Thoroughly. Oh well, they did look all the better for it. I didn't wait for a reply and wrapped my tails around Reia, steering her towards the door. 

"And just like that you're gone," Sera asked incredulously. 

"For a few days," I replied over my shoulder. "Do you want a hug before I go? I didn't think we were this close, yet, but if you do insist…" She only stared, but honestly what was I supposed to do? I couldn't snap my fingers and make our problems disappear, I couldn't even help in any meaningful way and if I started putting my life on hold every time something came up I wouldn't have a life left to speak of. I had done my part, I thought, the rest they could deal with on their bloody own and I'd be back soon… probably. Maybe.

"What haven't you told us," my mom immediately flared up and pulled me to a stop as soon as the door slammed shut behind us, cutting off the splashing noise and growing whispers.

"Much," I retorted sharply, "but it's only speculation for now. You'll hear it in a second. Can we stop pretending like we don't all have our little secrets? Don't think I haven't realised what you're trying to do with the "Silver Swan", even though I've never mentioned it." At least she had the decency to blush. Admittedly, I was guessing but I knew the woman.

"That's different. It's not a danger to us and I'd have told if you had asked."

"Are you sure? Influence and information are dangerous and you, mother, are well on your way to fill in the spot Captain Kirena has been forced to vacate… violently. You do remember how she found her end, don't you?"

"I'm not human," she snarled "nobody is going to drag me to the scaffold. I'd like to see them try."

"And you think I'm the hothead?" She puffed up her cheeks, ready to fling herself into another argument but I only raised my hand placatingly… tiredly.

"I'm not accusing you. I'm merely trying to get it through that brain of yours that I'm not intentionally keeping you in the dark. There's just so much going on that I have to choose carefully what to deal with. If you don't believe me, ask Viyara. If you wanted to know every little thing that seems strange or worth investigating to me, you'd have to move into my mind as well." Her answer I really hadn't seen coming.

"Is that an option?" I tensed.

"I… would you really want to?" She hesitate, not able to make much sense of my words so I willingly explained: "it'd be similar to what Viyara and I share. She… in the beginning she needed the reassurance and now I think we've both grown used to it, we both cherish the connection. But she's still… in a way I hold her like… like a child. I imagine it'd make our lives a hell of a lot more complicated, especially if you insist on dragging me over the coals every once in a while." 

"I can still do the same, you know," the dragoness piped up mentally. "Come to think of it, me and Ahri are probably the ones who argue with you the most."

"True… but do you really want me to put it into words? She's my spouse and you…"

"I'm as good as your daughter," she huffed irritably. "I know… and since you won't ever have another partner you'd sooner or later start seeing your mother as your child if she was to share that close a connection with you. Good luck explaining that to her." Luckily I didn't have to.

My mom shook her head, her silver tresses dancing and sparkling in the light of the flameless braziers, the scent of stardust rising from her flying locks. "Pass, I think. Unless…" she shot Aglaia an embarrassed look and the vixen automatically took a few graceful steps back to give us some privacy. "Cassy, do you still think of me as… your mother?" My eyes widened but then I chuckled, gently pulling her into me.

"Of course I do. Maybe not as a protector anymore, Ahri has already asked you to allow her to take over that particular duty, hasn't she? I'm grown up, mostly, and I don't need you to hold my hand, doesn't mean I don't long for it. You'll always be my mom and from where I'm standing always might be a tremendously long time for us. Why would you even ask?"

"Parents are supposed to protect their children," she mumbled against my chest. She wasn't snivelling, but she didn't sound like a sophisticated, refined queen either. "With us it's the other way around." She didn't add: what am I even here for, but I could hear it nonetheless. It was the same kind of rubbish that had gotten to her when Free Land had burned but I just didn't know what had brought it on this time, unless…

"Mom, are you scared," I whispered and pulled her even closer.

"Constantly," she replied softly, her warm breath tickling my skin. "But it's different this time. What if there really is… if even you and Ahri can't… what are we supposed to do?" I kissed the top of her head and whispered:

"Valid questions… but not the truth. I know you. The last time you broke down it was because you had been forced to watch your son lose his very soul. None of us were harmed. Well, I didn't touch Arthur with velvet gloves but he's already running around again. Please… tell me." She chuckled hoarsely.

"Sometimes it feels like we're locked in this weird dance where we're constantly swapping our positions. Either I'm trying to weasel the truth out of you or it's the other way around. You want to hear the whole pathetic reason? You're leaving. For seven years I've never spent a day away from you, honey. You should have seen me when Mordred left on his ill fated voyage. Your father walked on eggshells around me for weeks. I'm… sad and scared and… after everything I can hardly bear to see you go, now that it's time. Even if it's just for a a week. I feel… Cassy, you're seven. I know you're all grown up and older than our family, but still… I didn't have enough time to get used to it. I managed to accept that you're strong enough to stand on your own… by the Great Fox, strong enough to challenge the world, but I'm not ready to see you leave. That's it." Our tails intertwined, the slightly different shades of silver in our furs hardly discernible, as I felt a lump form in my throat. No wonder I had always loved the woman. Ever since I had first laid my eyes on her about five years ago. I wanted to tell her but before I could she added:

"And I've grown fond of Reia and Viyara. In a way… one is my daughter and the other my first grandchild, isn't she? Truth be told, I'm aching to go with you but I know it'd be unwise. But right now… knowing I have to say goodbye," she extended her arm and pulled Reia into our embrace as well, "it bloody hurts. Still, I meant to keep it together until you were actually gone. Apparently I couldn't even manage as much."

"I'm glad you didn't… mom," Reia whispered, her small arms tightening around us. "We spend much too much time worrying about each other in this family than we do actually living as one. Maybe we can change that." How did that saying go? While we teach our kids all about life, they teach us what life is all about? Damn it, if they kept it up I'd be tearing up any second now as well.

"We will," I… promised quietly, the familiar jolt of heat in my chest a welcome reminder that I meant every word. "I love you. I love you both, I hope you know that. Reia and I might be leaving but, trust me, we will return. There isn't a force between heaven and earth that can stop us, especially once the little troublemaker has achieved her goal."

"Her goal," my mom echoed, her face slowly emerging from my embrace with a frown. I stuck out my tongue at my sister and explained:

"She doesn't want to become like you, oh no, that's not enough for the young miss, she wants to go the entire way and become an immortal herself. Once that happens you'll never get rid of either of us. I can't believe I'm saying this but I fear she actually stands a pretty decent chance."

"How? Didn't you say… I thought…" with a smile I raised my hand, the black ring a smooth band of darkness around my finger.

"Rules are meant to be broken. Don't ask, I don't know myself, yet, but I'm pretty sure it already contains the essence of a corrupted demoness. Maybe she's even cleansed already. Sooner or later her core will have to go somewhere and your daughter intends to volunteer." In utter confusion the young vixen's gaze travelled from me to Reia and back again before she blurted out:

"Demoness… didn't you say angel? Wouldn't that make her an enemy?"

"It's not that simple," I chuckled. "There are honourable demons, think of Mephisto, maybe even Lilith… or Chaleb," I added to myself, "and there are truly shitty angels."

"I still want wings, not a stupid crown," Reia interjected, half petulantly, half jokingly. Whether she meant it or not it was finally enough to elicit a tremulous smile from our mother.

"I bet you do. Let me guess, something you've forgotten to mention after you accidentally made Greta's seed bloom?" She nodded.

"Cassy was meant to do it and I gained some fragments, some memories that were meant for her. It hurt… but it also helped. Aren't you… angry?" Our mom's smile widened somewhat mechanically before she shot me a sideways glance. 

"Angry? I'm not even sure yet if I'm not going to beg to be the next in line after you." She didn't mean it, I had seen a spark of fear ignite in the depths of her silvery eyes, but she wasn't going to mention anything in front of Reia. I, on the other hand, was probably in for a pretty interesting conversation once I got back. Maybe I'd be spending a bit more time on the Emerald Island after all, considering it wouldn't be a very fruitful conversation... unless you had the unique ability to enjoy being yelled at. 

I had already made up my mind. I knew why Reia needed this, I had seen, had felt it, and, by the gods, I would never allow her to feel lonely again. No matter the cost. Plus, if there was anyone I'd willingly entrust with the power of an immortal it would be her… and ironically my mother. She was halfway there already anyways. I wouldn't voice it out loud but the idea had been born and Ahri and Viyara had seen it. Which, of course, prompted the dragoness to explore another one of my meandering thoughts and take me along for the ride. Apparently I had no qualms with imagining her as an immortal, either. Oh boy… she wasn't ever going to forget that.

I didn't indulge her and simply cut off the myriad of questions, churning in her mind. Sooner or later I'd have to open that particular can of worms but for now I was more than happy to ignore the whole conundrum. I didn't even know how, why or when I'd be able to use the ring, even with the sigil Ahri had been branded with, and there'd be no talk about unleashing a possibly corrupted immortal's core upon creation until that changed. The dragoness, and my sister as well for that matter, would just have to lump it until then.

"That's a bridge for us to cross once we get there," I said instead, my inflection more than enough to convey the end of that particular line of thought, "and not the reason why I've asked you to accompany me." I waved at Aglaia, asking the kitsune wordlessly to join us again. "There are a couple of things I'd like you, mom, to keep an eye on while I'm away. Explicitly our neighbours, in the broadest sense of the word. You've heard it before, I've asked Aglaia and her… partner," I just couldn't get myself to call Indigorath her husband or lover, "to establish connections, if possible make friends, amongst the various courts on our islands and to figure out how many realms, similar to the fey's, we have to deal with. It's nothing pressing for now, except for the Burning Court. With all the excitement we've been able to enjoy yet again I couldn't bring it up until now, but Serena and Emilia have a history with the largest human nation and it seems like their peers are coming to collect. And then there's this whole Soul Sigil catastrophe. Maybe I'm paranoid, considering we've dealt with Amon for the most part, but I just can't shake a gnawing suspicion that something might have happened to Arthur's colony, now that most of his soldiers are actually here. We need to make sure and keep it from him and Sylvia. He'd fly back as fast as he could if he came to know. And for now… we can't let him leave. Not until we know what the hells is going on." My mother was already opening her mouth, either to complain or to ask a bunch of questions I didn't have the answers to, but fortunately Aglaia beat her to the punch:

"I was already wondering why you emphasised the Burning Court back then. Now I know. I guess you want a rundown of what we've been up to?" When I nodded and used my tails to gently gag my mom she immediately jumped into her explanation, glancing curiously at the dishevelled, young vixen, whose eyes were glowing ominously behind the curtain of my silvery fur: "you were right. There are seven major realms connected to Gaya, aside from the smaller heavens or personal creations. Two of them are elemental in essence and as far as we know no one has ever dared venture there. The other five… well, of the fey you already know. Then there are the Immortal Lands, a smaller mirror image of Gaya but flooded with life energy. They're inhabited and a few daring souls even travel there regularly. The sect I was first taught at was founded by a martial artist who crossed over and returned, bringing with him the wisdom of the Immortal Lands." She paused and began strutting back and forth, a hint of worry entering her voice:

"The land of dreams and the world of nightmares are… different. As far as I know there's no path leading there but when we're asleep the gates can open. What we fear, what we long for, our dreams, aspirations and our failures have long filled those realms to the brim, brought to life by the excess soul energy Gaya can't contain. Similar to the heavens and hells of varying religions but… more powerful, more real. While the one is fuelled by the desires of a few the other contains the undiluted power Gaya herself couldn't hold. It's from there that summoners call forth their beasts, that foul sorcerers conjure their dem… fiends… or that saints ask for assistance. Lastly there's… I can't really say. There's one more realm but it's sealed off hermetically. There once was a path, a gateway, but even before the Cataclysm it's been chained shut. We only know of it because some older species still remember and Indigorath payed a steep price for the information. We tried knocking on the door, so to say, but… only once. The chains I mentioned, they're forged from powers I've only ever encountered once before. The night you saved us. They aren't yours, though, I know as much." She sighed and pulled aside the collar of her crimson dress. A scar, almost like an open wound, marred her alabaster skin like a streak of blood.

"That's what I got for looking. I imagine if it had been you who sealed the realm, I wouldn't have woken up again. We never tried for a second time. I don't know why but chances are someone like you slammed the door shut. Now I have a question of my own, though. I remember what you did that night. If you wanted to you could annihilate the world, never mind a connected realm. Why is it still there? Do you know what happened or who did it? Are there… more like you?"