Chapter 15: My Deepest Anxiety

"Wait," I interrupted him. I was even surprised when I realized I was actually preventing that person from leaving. "Why are you doing this?" I asked then.

Zo looked at me with a confused look.

I hastily added my question. "Why did you tell me a fairy tale last night? Why did you give me the things I asked for? Why…" I gulped as I tried to continue the question. "Why did you say goodbye just now? You're not usually like this."

I looked at him awkwardly. I don't know what else to say when my presumptuous mouth bombards him with my silly questions. I suddenly felt a pang of regret for asking him that.

I don't mean to want to understand his way of thinking. For God's sake, I don't care about that cruel bastard. However, my audacious mouth actually did the opposite of what I wanted to say.

The man in front of me stood up and glanced at my face. "Because I want to," he answered simply.

See? His answer was even very annoying

"Can you tell me, where am I right now?" I asked. "Is my Dad okay? You didn't hurt him, did you?"

This time Zo really walked away from me. Before he reached for the doorknob, I called out another name. Confirming whether Zo's name is not his real name.

"Keenan!"

Zo stopped. He slowly turned his body, so he was facing me. His hazel eyes glared at me. I felt a mix of intimidation, and a little bit of fear as those eyes seemed to pierce me.

"Where did you hear that name from?"

"Answer my question first," I said presumptuously.

"Answer me, or do you want me to call-"

"It was that middle-aged woman who accidentally told me. Don't call Loko here, please."

The man nodded once. I was secretly relieved that he wasn't mad at me. It would be a painful day if Loko came back here and beat me.

"You haven't answered my question."

Zo ignored my words and walked out of the room.

***

I spent hours lying down and staring at the ceiling. My face and body still feel sore everywhere, but the intense pain in my lips has subsided slowly. Even so, the swelling is still visible.

I still feel uncomfortable and sore in my feminine area. Several times I saw my underwear was even bleeding. I grimaced in horror, seeing my body receiving unsavory treatment.

My mind drifted to the nightmare I had had for more than a week in this damned place. Especially in the incident of rape committed by Zo. Two times in a row.

I struggled to hold back my anxiety because I realized that Zo was really climaxing when he fucked me yesterday. He oozed his semen into my vagina. I could clearly feel how my genital was filled with warmth as he cum.

What's even more embarrassing is that I think I also have an orgasm.

That bastard is genuinely immoral. How could he have the heart to spill his semen inside me? Why isn't he wearing a condom?

What if I get pregnant?

My body feels so tired, but my eyes can't close. I spent the night full of thoughts.

I looked at the table where my lunch was. Zo didn't come after this morning; he left me with many unanswered questions. The one who brought my lunch was the boy who came this morning. I didn't touch the tray at all. I have no appetite to eat or drink.

I snorted slowly. Why didn't that person come again? Where did Zo go? Did he even go to hurt my Dad? Was my question too much?

I feel so uneasy right now. Why was it so much more restless when Zo was gone? What if Loko came back soon?

I shook my head vigorously. Felt ridiculous about my own thoughts.

I wrote down what I experienced in the book Zo brought me to cheer up. I wrote down every detail on these yellowed white sheets of paper. I've spent six sheets of paper. I can no longer write it. My fingers cramp a little.

I reread my writing and smiled wryly. Am I really going through all this? All the horrible things I wrote in this book?

"Minka?"

Without me knowing, Zo has entered with a new tray for me. He glanced at the table and closed his mouth in a line. Then he looked at me sitting on the bed with pen and ink smudged in my right hand.

"You didn't eat it?" Zo growled.

I looked at him blankly. My mind is a little blank right now. I couldn't think clearly when his face looks so intimidating.

He slides the first feeding tray so that it fits 2 pieces. "Why don't you eat them?"

I stood up, trying to put my notebook in the paper bag. My body staggered and almost fell before I hastily put my hands on the wall and closed my eyes tightly. My head was spinning.

"Are you okay?" Zo asked.

I replied with a nod and tried walking again. After taking one more step, I fell to my knees again. I gripped my head tightly when Zo came up to me.

"Are you feeling unwell?" he asked, holding my forehead with his palm.

The hairs on my neck swelled at that moment. The touch of Zo's palm made my body freeze.

"You're burning," he said.

I looked at his face, his eyebrows, his nose, his hair, and his eyes. The whole face is practically close to perfect. I can not deny that this man is handsome. Too bad this man in front of me is such a heartless bastard.

I shook my head vigorously to get rid of my sudden wandering thoughts. Why can I think like that anyway? I clutched my head which suddenly throbbed violently.

"I feel dizzy," I said quietly.

My grip on my head loosened, and I just fell into Zo's arms.