Haunted Men

Everyone had returned to their slumber after Liz was tended to, the Hawke's all found peace in their dreams. Marian dreamt of raising Liz on their farm in Lothering, the Blight never having happened, Bethany a fun, bubbly, loving aunt to her little girl. No insane Templars threatening their lives, no blood mages, no dragons, just laying low and living in peace.

Anders, on the other hand, was beset by terrible nightmares. The taint drew on his darkest fears and pains, and made them horribly real.

***

"No! Please, take me to the circle, kill me, make me tranquil, but please I beg of you, leave them alone!" His eyes streamed with furious tears, his face shoved into the dirty street of Lowtown by a heavy Templar boot. The door to the small home had been smashed into splinters, Gamlen, Leandra, and Carver had already been beaten bloody and raw, dragged out onto the street with him. His own eyes could barely stay focused as the swelling made it harder and harder to keep them open. He could hear the screaming of his love and his child, and was powerless to intervene. Marian let out a shrill, anguished cry, and he desperately wished he could explode into a demonic rage and save her. He had no idea how they'd done it, but they had learned how to suppress spirits as well as magic use, so Justice was trapped inside him, watching with the same burning rage and agony.

A Templar he recognized from Kinloch Hold dragged Marian out by her hair, she had multiple cuts from the gauntleted fist that had beaten. Her body shook with sobs, the sound only barely managing to choke through the waterfall of blood pouring from her mouth. Of course he would knock out her teeth. Ser Matthew had always delighted in causing agony; he remembered the feeling of his viscous hands well. Other parts also, but it looked like Marian had been spared that torture at least. Still, he gasped in anguish at the sight of her. There were slices down her arms from those terrible hands, and the pit of his stomach dropped as he realized he could no longer hear Elizabeth crying.

"What have you done?" He started to hyperventilate, eyes wide with panic. Ser Matthew chuckled and spat on Marian before answering.

"Followed orders." He smirked down at Anders before starting to walk down the stairs, still dragging Marian by her hair, the long locks held tightly in his bloodied metal fist.

"Why isn't she crying? What have you done to my daughter?! Answer me!!" He screamed at Ser Matthew, and was rewarded by the Templar standing on his head pushing his face down harder into the stone.

"You are an abomination, the mother is maleficarum. The Knight Commander does not want to see what fruit this family tree has borne. Don't worry, Anders, you'll see her again soon." He smiled cruelly, laughing as he picked Marian up by her hair, his smile widening into a truly terrible grin as she cried out in pain. "This one though. It would be a shame to waste such a pretty thing when tranquility would suit her just fine. Might even take her home with me, to remember you by..."

***

Anders sat up with a shot and a cry of despair, hitting his head on the underside of the bunk above him hard. He winced and held his head, then slid his hands down to his soaking wet cheeks. Marian had awoken with panic at the cry, and looked to Anders in confusion. He met her eyes and gave a small sigh, brushing the tips of his fingers against her cheek before gasping and throwing himself out of the bed, quickly pulling himself together and standing to go to Elizabeth's crib. She was still blessedly asleep, her little huffs of breath and twitching fingers obvious indicators of life. He sank down to his knees next to the crib and began to weep, his entire body shaking.

"Anders, what in Andraste's name is wrong?" Marian was kneeling next to him, her hand on his shoulder. He pivoted and pulled her into a crushing embrace, shoving his face into her neck, breathing in her scent as he slowly, so terribly slowly, started to calm. She was rubbing his back soothingly as he worked through whatever he was feeling. Once he had stopped shaking she pulled back slightly, tilting his face up to meet hers.

"So, will you tell me what happened?"

"Templars... Meredith found out about us, about Liz. She... She..." He couldn't bring himself to say the words, but Marian nodded her head in understanding.

"I'm sorry you went through that. That must have been terrible."

"I will make sure it never comes to pass. I would tear the flesh from my bones before I allowed it."

Marian sighed and hugged his head to her chest, kissing the top of his head. "I know love, I know."

-

Marian had agreed to help Anso retrieve his lost cargo, only to find an ambush of bounty hunters, and a strange elf with glowing tattoos named Fenris. She had agreed to help him hunt down and kill his former slave-master, Danarius, before he could escape the city, bringing Carver and Varric with her. She reassured Anders a dozen times at least that she would be alright, and that it was better if he stayed home and tended to Liz, took a night off after how poorly he had slept that morning.

The effort to find this Danarius turned out to be in vain, as he was already gone with demons and guards left in his wake. Carver fought hard, taking a defensive position guarding the still recovering Marian, who fought just fine from the back ranks, thank-you-very-much-brother-dearest. Once the battle was over, Fenris rushed outside to 'get some air.'

"I have a bad feeling, Hawke." Varric hummed in consideration.

"He's probably just upset that his plans fell through, I'm sure it's nothing."

"I don't know, Hawke, I sense a story with that one."

-

Fenris stood outside the mansion, barely able to breathe. A mage. Another bloody mage. She had been nothing but smiles and support and kindness, but there was always an angle, always a desire for something, and he was now in a position of debt to her for her aid.

***

"I have given you this power, my pet, everything you are, everything you do, is because I have willed it. I so delight in knowing I have made such an exquisite creature." Danarius cooed into Fenris's ear, before biting hard on the cartilage. He tried hard not to flinch, but he couldn't help the knee-jerk reaction. Danarius stiffened and shoved him down onto his knees. Fenris did his best to keep his face emotionless, lest he make this situation even worse.

"You dare deny me?"

"Never, Master. I was simply surprised." He kept his tone flat as possible, his eyes averted.

"Hmph. Well, perhaps you can apologize while you are on your knees, then I shall continue. Politics have been stressful, of late, I could stand to go multiple times." He sneered down at Fenris, "Unless, of course, you would rather I take out my stress with your pain rather than my pleasure? I do have a few new spells I've been wanting to test out..."

"There is no need, Master. I live to serve you." Fenris felt shame, dread, and disgust pool in his belly at the words, but at least this would not require healing. Probably.

***

He punched the wall to force himself back into reality, shaking away the flashback. He turned and leaned against the wall, then looked up to the stars, wondering if the Maker simply cannot hear prayers sent from Tevinter. That is when the mage and her allies came out from the Mansion, and he sighed.

"It never ends... I escaped a land of dark magic, only to have it hunt me at every turn. It is a plague burned into my flesh and my soul." He took a sharp breath then turned his head towards her, his gaze piercing as a blade, "And now I find myself in the company of yet another mage."

She straightened, setting her expression from one of soft pity to one of neutrality.

"I saw you casting spells inside. I should have realized sooner what you really were. Tell me then, what manner of mage are you? What is it that you seek?" He practically hissed out the last word, accusing, not wishing to hear any more convenient platitudes.

"I'm just trying to get by; protect my family."

"Yet I have seen many crimes done in the name of survival and protecting oneself." Her neutral expression dropped at his words, but not to what he expected. She looked at him only with a gentle tenderness in her gaze, her eyebrows furrowed slightly in pain. She did not care to defend herself against him or his anger. She felt sorry for him. He sighed.

"I... Imagine I appear ungrateful. If so, I apologize, for nothing could be further from the truth. I did not find Danarius, but I still owe you a debt. Here is all the coin I have, as Anso promised." He reached to his belt and grabbed his meager coinpurse, pulling it off and holding it out to her.

"No."

"I'm sorry?"

"You owe me no debt, and I will not take your coin. You need it more than I do." She said gently.

"Marian!" The burly human man behind her hissed between his teeth.

"Quiet, Carver. Travel is not free. Food is not free. He will struggle to find honest work, looking as he does. I will not take it from him." She spoke sternly to the taller man, no fear in her eyes, but no threat either, Fenris noticed.

"He is the last person you should be kind to! He hates mages, don't you think that maybe, just maybe we should-"

"Shut it, Carver." She hissed back at him, before returning a far gentler gaze to Fenris.

"I... Do not know what to say. I have met few in my travels who cared for more than coin. If you have need of my aid, I would gladly render it, in thanks."

"Well, we are planning an expedition into the Deep Roads. Could always use another warrior."

"An acceptable arrangement." He nodded his head.

"I do have one question for you, if I may be so bold." She smiled lightly.

"I suppose I could answer one question."

"Why expend all this effort simply to recapture one slave? Is it because of that glowing thing you do?"

"Yes. These markings are pure lyrium, embedded into my flesh in a ritual I can only remember for the agony it caused me. They make me stronger, faster, and capable of things that soporati- er... those without magic, cannot achieve. He wishes to see his investment returned, even if it means he must strip the lyrium from my flesh."

"What a waste of a perfectly handsome elf." She smirked and he could not hold back the small chuckle that rose in his throat. She fully smiled then, and continued before he could respond. "Seriously though, I hope you get the chance to make him suffer before you kill him."

"I intend to. Danarius chose to put these markings on me, and I will make him regret it. But, it is late. When you have need of me, I will be here. If Danarius wishes his mansion back, he is free to return and claim it. Beyond that, I am at your disposal."

-

They made it home safe and sound, and while Marian fed Elizabeth, Carver pulled Anders outside and filled him in on the powerful, angry, anti-mage elf they just met, and how happily she had recruited him as an ally.

Anders sighed and rubbed his temples. He admired her kindness and endless optimism, but extending it to this unstable unknown, who had very clearly shown he could not be trusted with their secrets, was just ridiculous. He decided that he would speak to her about it later, as he needed to return to his clinic, the mage underground needed him tonight. He kissed his girls goodbye and left, pushing this elf out of his mind.

-

Marian had not yet spoken to Hubert, loathing to speak to the pompous man, but she had no plans for the day, and had woken full of energy, so she had Leandra teach her to do a blanket wrap for Liz, and made her way up to Hightown, using a simple staff that looked more like a walking stick than anything, her simple dress fluttering with the summer breeze. Hubert was very surprised to see her like this when she arrived at his stand, and was even more surprised when she gave her report on the Bone Pit.

Somehow, she managed to convince him to give her half-stock in the mine, so long as she could convince workers to return. Mother and Varric would be so proud of her.

She was about to turn to go home when she realized that she really wasn't very far from Danarius's mansion, and that she should probably check on Fenris to make sure he was coping. Trauma was a terrible thing, she had lived it and seen it enough to know that, and that man wore his pain on the surface; quite literally in this case.

She knocked on the door of the mansion and received no response. She knocked again, and still nothing. Hesitantly, she opened the door and allowed herself in.

"Hello? Fenris? It's me, Marian Hawke, we met last night? Hello?? Anyone home?" She called out as she walked into the foyer. Fenris soon appeared, cobwebs in his hair, looking at her skeptically.

"Yes? Is there something you need?"

"Oh, no, I was simply in the area and wanted to visit, make sure you were well. You, er..." She put her hand to her head and mimed ruffling her hair. He looked at her curiously but did as she did.

"Hm? Ah, spiderwebs. I was exploring, finding out what was left behind. There's a fair amount of wine in the cellar, apparently. Would you... like some?" Fenris asked awkwardly. He had never been a host before, and he had no idea what the strange bundle Hawke carried was. That was, until the bundle started squirming.

"Oh, you hear a nice deep voice and you have to wake up and see who it is? Is that it?" Marian teased lightly at the bundle before pulling it open and retrieving a baby girl.

"I did not realize you had a baby, Hawke." Fenris took a step closer so he could better look at the girl. She was very clearly Hawke's daughter, even though her eyes were different.

"Well I'm not exactly going to take her to fight bounty hunters and save knights in shining armor with me, now am I?" She teased. For the second time in the last day, he chuckled.

"I think if anything, I would be a knight in distress, and you a damsel in shining armor."

"Who said I was talking about you, Shiny? Maybe that's just what I do on Wednesdays." He smirked at her response, and was about to come up with his own witty retort when the baby started whimpering.

"What is wrong with her?"

"Liz is probably just hungry, she did just wake up. I... I don't suppose you would allow me to feed her here? I can find a private room if that makes you feel more comfortable."

"There are still bodies littering the place, I have only gotten one area cleaned out so far. I do not mind you feeding your child in front of me, but if you wish I can turn my back."

"To the void with modesty at this point, I've accidentally walked out of the house with a breast still exposed, this is nothing." She smiled and followed him to the only clean area, two small sofas by a fireplace with a coffee table between them. She slid the blanket wrap off of her shoulder and out of the way, then opened her dress to allow Elizabeth access to what she wanted.

Fenris watched the flames while the baby fed, but he supposed Hawke must've found the silence uncomfortable, because she started chatting away about Liz's development, and he couldn't help but meet her gaze and smile softly as she spoke with pride and affection for her baby. For the first time in his life, he was seeing a mage be just like any other person. When Liz finished he glanced away so Hawke could have privacy while covering herself up.

She sat Liz on her lap, bouncing her very gently as she told Fenris about how hard it had been, going through pregnancy as a refugee in Kirkwall, working as a smuggler despite her swollen feet and aching back.

"What of her father? Why wasn't he smuggling to pay the bills?"

"He had been taken away by Templars before I even realized I was pregnant. He managed to escape, and he is with us now. That's all that matters." She smiled, but Fenris couldn't shake the feeling of disquiet that gave him. The father was also a mage, but he had been captured by, and escaped from, Templars. He would have to keep an eye on that one.

Liz reached out towards Fenris, grunting as she tried to will her way off of her Mother's lap.

"It looks like you have an admirer, Fenris." Marian chuckled. "Would you like to hold her?"

"I have never..." He started to make an excuse, but the look of determination on the little girl's face swayed him. "Alright, just let me take off my armor, I'd hate to scratch her." He quickly removed his gauntlets, then stood and removed his chestplate as well. Once bereft of metal plating, he gingerly lifted the girl off of Hawke's lap, holding her up to his chest, supporting her upright with both of his arms. She immediately grabbed at his hair, cooing with interest and delight. He let out an amused huff.

"She only likes me for my looks, it seems."

"Well, she is a baby. But, if it makes you feel any better, I think you're swell."

"If I had known Anso would find me a woman so...capable, I'd have asked him sooner."

"Capable, am I? Well, a compliment's a compliment." She smiled, then rescued him from her baby as she started to pull on his hair a bit too hard.

"I'll try to improve my flattery skills before your next visit." He deadpanned, then cracked a smile when she giggled. She put Liz back into the blanket wrap and stood, grabbing her staff.

"Now that you have been thoroughly abused, as is my daughter's custom, I should get going home."

"Allow me to walk you home. There are some criminals who are either bold enough, or stupid enough, to try and attack in broad daylight."

"Thank you, Fenris, I appreciate it." She smiled at him and waited for him to reequip his gear and grab his sword before they went down to Lowtown together. When they got the hovel she called home, Anders was sitting on the stairs.

"Marian! There you are, your mother said you went to run some errands, but I was starting to worry. And...you've...brought a friend." Anders looked over Fenris, assessing him and quickly piecing together that this was the elf Carver told him about.

Fenris looked him over as well, and recognized the honey gold eyes as the same as LIz's. So this must be the father then.

"Yes, we had a lovely time chatting. I probably would have been home sooner, but Liz got hungry while we were visiting, so it took longer."

Fenris did not miss the twitch at the corner of the mage's mouth at that.

"Also, it's not just family she tortures with her hair pulling, she couldn't wait to get her hands on Fenris' hair, she nearly threw herself off my lap trying to get at him." Marian chuckled, but Anders did not.

"Alright. Well, it was very nice to meet you, Fenris. Please go home now, i would like to spend time with my family."

"Lighten up, Anders, he's not a mage but he's no Templar either."

"I don't like taking chances on mage-haters."

"And I don't like taking chances on mages, but so far Hawke has turned out to be the best of you."

"Aw, thanks Shiny. You can call me Marian though, I don't know why so many people want to call me by my family name. It's not like I'm the only Hawke in Kirkwall."

Fenris couldn't help the small feeling of satisfaction seeing this Anders' face twitch again. He gently clapped Marian on the shoulder, and gave a gentle pat to Liz before turning and leaving. He had no intention of intruding on a loving relationship, but the jealousy and distrust he saw in the man's face made him uneasy. He had no ownership over Marian, as far as Fenris knew that's not how marriage worked in the South, but he sure as sin did not enjoy a single moment of her being friendly with another man.