What a Migraine

Elinora

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I woke up Saturday morning on the couch in the slip dress I wore the night before.

The night before. The party.

The coffee table was full of Whataburger trash, the drunk Texan's fast food of choice. Holly and Zindra lay cuddled up atop a pile of blankets and pillows on the floor. I sat up, pushing a palm into my forehead as my brain pounded to my heartbeat.

I honestly couldn't bring myself to recall last night without caffeine. I should not have taken that fifth shot when we got home. Did I have six?

My auto-pilot had crashed the car, and now I was paying the insurance premiums. I hobbled my way to the kitchen, frantically starting a pot of coffee strong enough to be jet fuel.

As soon as the smell of fresh coffee wafted through the house, Holly and Zin came grumbling into the kitchen.

Zindra was the first to speak. "I can't even begin to imagine how you must feel right now, Nora. Considering I feel like it would be preferable to rip my brain from my skull."

I mustered all the energy I could, "Is there a difference?"

Holly was just as perky as usual, just with bags under her eyes. "After the first shift, hybrids and shifters take on the added benefits of quick healing, better eyesight and sense of smell, and the pack bond, if they have a pack at all. So Zinny will probably feel better much faster than you, and she had almost twice the liquor."

The thought of alcohol made me nauseous. The reminder that my friends are fantasy creatures made me spin.

I poured myself a half pot of coffee before dispersing the remainder between Holly and Zin's mugs. "What even happened last night?" I asked, setting the coffee pot back down.

Zin took an obnoxious sip from her coffee, "Well, let's see. You met our family, found out about werewolves-"

"And vampires and hybrids," Holly interjected.

"And vampires and hybrids. You mysteriously disappeared with a joint, meeting us back in the ballroom flushed and with Alec hot on your tail. We took two shots each. Well, you had three because you insisted on needing lime. Then we danced for a while before going for another shot. Jo tried to seduce Alec, so you laughed in her face. I bet you into embarrassing Jo even more by kissing Alec at the end of the night. You agreed, but only if we immediately left. So, you kissed Alec-"

"At least twice."

"Yeah, that's right. He kissed you back. Then we skedaddled off to Whataburger so we could come home, eat, dance more, and take another shot. Or two, I don't know. A little fuzzy on the specifics."

I should've never taken those shots to begin the night. The feeling when I look at Alec is overwhelming but combined with tequila... no wonder I had to add the stipulation of fleeing the scene. There was a good chance of ripping his clothes off if I hadn't left. I couldn't will myself to be embarrassed over it. I had wanted to kiss Alec from the moment I saw him walk down those stairs. So I did it. Sticking it to Jo was just a bonus.

My hormones, heart, and soul were going haywire over this man. Enough to distract me from the fact that to confirm this idea that my friends can turn into animals, there is a potential I have to break all of my bones, becoming my animal.

My animal? Jesus Christ. Cue the spins. Based on my behavior last night, I might as well have been an animal. I hope I didn't hurt Jo's feelings too badly. I know I can have a sword for a tongue.

"I should not have taken that extra shot when we got home," I concluded. I was a lightweight when it came to alcohol, and my whole body felt it today.

"I know," Zin admitted. "But I was having so much fun! The feisty side of you so rarely comes out to play, Nora." She said, almost pouting now.

"She's always there; I just prefer being a nice person."

"Alec seemed like he thought you were nice enough." Holly quipped, covering her face with her mug as she took a sip of coffee.

"Let's not forget Jo's opinions of me, especially after last night." They were both quiet at that. As much as these two girls loved me, they also loved Jo, regardless of the childish behavior.

Zin finally spoke up. "Jo has been asking for it since long before you came along. Alec made it clear after their first date that he-"

"I'm sorry, roll that back. First date? Alec and Jo dated? Wow, I really am a homewrecker."

Scoffing, Zin replied, "No, they never dated. They had one single date that Jo had to initiate. Alec told her afterward that he wasn't interested in her romantically. She took it pretty hard, but we all thought she had moved on."

"Well, I never thought she moved on. She hides her feelings well because there's no other choice. Alec was honest with her, and that's all she can rightfully expect from him." Holly noted sympathetically.

"Yeah, until Nora here makes an appearance! You unlocked a desperate, envious side of little Josephine." Zin crinkled her nose, "I'd rather go by 'Jo,' too."

I rubbed a hand down the side of my face, "So, Josephine, aka Jo, has a mega-crush on Alec. She asked him on a date, only for him to reject her after the fact. Then I show up, she sees whatever weird connection Alec thinks he has to me, and panics. I insult and humiliate her even more than she did on her own. Then, for my grand finale, I rub it in her face by kissing Alec and running away like the emotional terrorist I am."

"That about sums it up," Zin confirmed.

It was Holly's turn to scoff, "You two are always so dramatic! Even though you deny and repress an emotional bond older and way beyond you, you're not an emotional terrorist, Elli. Jo had it coming. She knew what she was doing kissing Alec. It was a last-ditch effort to convince herself it wasn't over, and it blew up in her face. If you had been upset by it, I know she would've received worse treatment from Alec."

"He's got a bit of a temper, that one. See Nora. You actually did Jo a favor."

"I wouldn't call it a favor, but you saved her from the wrath of Alec, that's for sure." Holly finished, always the one to play devil's advocate, to give the perspective no one else will see.

She was bating me. I could tell. Slipping in the subtle innuendo to the 'emotional bond' I seemed to share with Alec. Holly wanted me to ask questions, or maybe even admit it to myself, but as I said, I wouldn't be the one to go there.

So, I brushed over the subject as if it meant nothing to me. I shrugged off the guilt I still felt about what I said to Jo; there was nothing I could do about it now.

"So, can I see one of you change into a giant animal today, or what?" I asked, hoping, however it turned out, that we could get it over and done.

"No," Zin answered, "but maybe Holly could catch and drain a rabbit or something."

Holly swatted the back of Zindra's head with a 'thwack!' "If I rarely drink blood as is, what makes you think I would want to munch on a little wild bunny? You're sick."

Zindra looked at me with an absurd expression, "Did you see her just physically abuse me? I should call 911." Rubbing her head in exaggerated pain.

"Oh, good! More with the dramatics." Holly rolled her eyes, taking a final gulp of coffee from her mug.

I couldn't hide my sniggering. Holly rarely resorted to violence, even though Zin almost always deserved it. Even in all of their dysfunctional glory, they had become my family. They made me laugh when I felt like crying and gave me comfort when I felt like screaming. Potential delusions aside, I loved these girls and every ounce of their souls.

"So, why can't one of you just shift? Let's just get this done." I pestered, itching to see these secrets that hopelessly intertwined with my family and my past with my own eyes.

"Awesome idea, Nora." Zin jested, "Let me just unleash a wolf in our fucking kitchen!"

"Ugh! I didn't mean right here, right now. We have the whole weekend!"

"It doesn't matter what you mean," Holly interrupted our bickering. "Alec wouldn't want us to take the risk of you shifting without him there."

"Why does Alec get a say in this? It is my decision." I didn't know why they seemed to look to him for commands, orders. I understood their chosen social structure or why it worked when they still lived at the mansion. Or I thought I did.

"For someone who binge-reads those werewolf romance novels," Zindra started, "I expected you to be more knowledgeable."

"Oh, so what? Alec's your 'alpha?'" I asked, adding air quotes for effect.

"Yes, that is exactly what I'm saying. Probably one of the last true alphas, but that's a whole other story."

"So Alec gets a say in this," Holly continued the previous conversation, "because our family is his pack. You may not know it yet, or you do, and you deny it like your feelings, but you will be a part of this pack. If for no other reason but your connection to Zin and me."

"Think of him as the face of the company. He may call the shots, but he has a team of people behind him implementing successful plans." Zindra attempted to find a metaphor to explain the power dynamics of her family. "Like, he may make the decision, but we all get a voice."

I tried to play along, to accept all of this insanity. "Glad he's running a democracy."

"We can't shift in front of you outside the mansion grounds anyway. I'm not taking the risk in a neighborhood like this." Holly had enough of the attitude accompanying my hangover migraine. "Elli, just talk to Alec. Go see him, call him, text him, send him a letter; I don't care. You have things to talk about, and you know it. Talk to him, plan a time, and I'm sure Zindra would be happy to let her wolf out for you."

Zin let out a silly howl. "I want to show you so much, Nora. Just not hungover at 12:47 PM on a Saturday."

I half-heartedly rolled my eyes, taking my coffee back through the kitchen and up the stairs to my bedroom. "Yeah, yeah. Guess I'll reach out to the alpha. Figure out when it is acceptable for me to become a part of his pack. Maybe he can clear his schedule."

I barely heard Zindra reply, "For you, his schedule doesn't matter."

I decided to shower off the grime from the night before. My mind left to ponder the magic of the new world swirling around me. As much as I felt uncertain and skeptical, something about the trajectory of my life had never felt more aligned. I wasn't just rushing for proof of this mythical boundary for peace of mind; I wanted to unleash the part of myself I had barely admitted was even there.

The supposed pain I would experience didn't deter me. No matter how excruciating, feeling pain was better than the constant itch of ignorance left unscratched. Whether or not I transformed into a snarling animal was the least of my concerns. All I wanted to know led back to pathoseia. The answers I sought so desperately were finally within reach.

I have resources, friends to help me make sense of the vague details my mother left for me, and more. The curiosity that used to be so painful soothed slightly at the thought of finally finding my relief. The fact that I would also be opening myself up to a new family was simply a consolation prize.