pains!!

11

     Emilia what in God name is going on here,oh my God did oliva do this to you,don't be afraid child tell me,did

she ....No No No Olivia didn't do this to me....what is going on here" my dad and the rest of my siblings were all In my room,with wide eyes" my room suddenly felt too full...oh my God Emily your bleeding all over!!Oscar moved towards my,while Richard tried to grab my hand,don't you fucking touch me!!!yes I cut my self,yes I wanted to slit my own wrist and end it all,atleast I am not hurting anyone or bringing disgrace to anyone or even been insufficient to anybody ,why can't you leave me alone!!!uhh atleast I am not hurting any one!!!I am hurting just my self!!!please you all leave me alone.....No my love,you are my daughter I know you,your a very strong happy girl,your not like my other children,I know your strong,I look at your laughter and console myself "my dad tryed to console me"he was shedding real tears,I have never seen my

dad cry,but I was way past that now,I just wanted to be free!!I needed to say everything out.

   Dad did you no when I started cutting my self,the day you told me I was abused because I wanted to get a nose piercing,I was 11 when your friend almost rapped me,he kissed me ,suckered on my nipples harshly,I told you all,nobody did nothing,nothing hahaha!!!then I got to 18,wanted to get a nose piercing and some how you decided to say those hurtful and painful words to me,I felt like dying,yes dying!!!!Do you no the craziest part?I fucking believed you,yes I fucking did!!!yes I thought it was my fault,maybe a 11 years old child was passing the wrong signals to a 34 years old man.....NO NO MY DARLING IT WASNT YOU FAULT,PLEASE FORGIVE YOUR CARELESS FATHER....No No am not done yet,I need to finish....when richard

slept with my course mate,and caught an STD,you blamed it on Me,yes!! You said if I hadn't brought the girl home,Richard wouldn't have seen her,hahahaha!!!!what about Oscar!!!!when Oscar had his hair tinted,yes mum i could remember you told me I was the cause ,because I had pictures of guys with tinted hair on my phone,i was always talking about it,so I influenced his decision....am now Mia!!!,wow!,just wow!!,you remember you say she is smarter than me,you prefer her a million times to me,so tell me daddy how do i put smile on your face