Chapter 22

"Where were you?" Gianna asked Amelia in the morning when she finally met her after days of avoidance. "You don't even listen to me." Her displeasure embarrassed Amelia. But evading her question she hugged her and said, "I am here." "You know what I am talking about." She grew irritated. "Mom it was an important meeting." "Since when have you started meeting people without letting me know?" Her anger overwhelmed Amelia but she remained calm. She knew that her mother was concerned about her and nothing could make her less worried except Amelia's own presence.

She remembered her mother saying, "this world is a cruel place for people like us. Even if you give it your flesh it won't be happy with your sacrifice." She had begun to understand it. "Don't push yourself into things that you cannot control." Her advice came as a surprise. "Why do you say that?" she asked astonished. "Because I am your mother and I know what you are up to." Amelia smiled as she kissed her mother on her soft, pale and slightly wrinkled cheek. Gianna pushed her away gently expressing her annoyance. "Mom I am not up to something that would hurt you rather I am doing it to make you proud." She tried to convince.

"To make me proud?" she stared at her with surprise. "Putting your life in danger would make me proud?" she stressed on the word proud unable to comprehend its meaning at that moment. "What in the world makes you think I shall be happy with the so called medals of pride that you want to put around my neck." Her voice grew heavy and coarse. "Mom you have always supported me in pursuing my dreams." Amelia surrounded her arms around her shoulders and laid her head on it. "Why are you reacting like this?"

"You don't know what it is like to be struggling with the pain of losing someone close?" she said tears rolling down her face. Amelia sensed that her mother was missing her husband. "Why do you think I don't know of the pain? I lost my father and I know how painful it is to be fatherless." Gianna listened to her silently. "You just felt the emptiness that your father had left behind," She swallowed the lump in her throat. "You don't know the struggle of coping with that pain when you know that your closed one is dying and you can't do anything to stop it." She drew her nose. "You have just missed his presence. Mine is different." She reminisced his death and the troubles they faced after him.

Amelia felt the pinch in her heart. She remembered her nightmares that brutally took away her sleeps and was left with undiminished agony. She recalled how difficult it was to cope with that kind of pain, when you linger between the truth and lies questioning the reality of your own existence yet never finding a valid explanation. How agonizing it was to know that something bad had happened to your loved one but his own sanctity and innocence was turned into unforgivable crime. Amelia too was going through a pain that she alone felt like a spear stuck in her heart. She thought her mother acted like a helplessly selfish person at that moment. Giving her own agony a more weight than her daughter's pain.

"You are absolutely right mom. I can't fathom the miseries you have been through." She inhaled deeply and hugged her teary eyed. It wasn't merely a validation of her mother's sufferings rather a silent approval of her own misunderstandings. She began to comprehend the insecurities of her mother and her over protectiveness. "You know what?" Gianna asked gazing at her eyes. "Whatever I saw yesterday was alarming?" She disclosed politely. Instead of asking something, Amelia puckered her eyebrows. "A young lady came to the super store where I was buying groceries," she continued with pauses. "She was alright but after a while she puked like a barrage. and then she couldn't hold herself and fell to the floor."

Amelia perked up her ears as she heard the story. "And then what did you do?" She asked curiously. " Did you help her?" Gianna knew the reason she was asking those questions. So she precisely answered. "I went close but remembering you I just left and ran back home. Her mother was already there to lift her up." she lowered her voice recalling her agony. Amelia exhaled a sigh of relief. "I don't know what it was but i was scared" she added. "She would be fine but in these circumstances we are not sure what it is. So, it's better to be cautious." Amelia said looking at her mother's worried eyes. "It will pass mom. I am hopeful." She smiled to ease her anxiety.

"Mom would you like to have coffee?" shedding off the tensions Amelia suddenly asked her mother. She nodded her head. Just as she was about to go to the kitchen her eyes fell on the counter where the rat in the cage was munching on a snack that Gianna had put earlier. "Why are you keeping it here?" she asked. "We are doing an experiment in the lab. But I am not sure if it's ethically right to do it." She stared at her mother. "Will it have to die as a result of experiment?" She asked promptly. "Mmm maybe I don't know yet." She replied with uncertainty. "Then it is unethical." She said flat out.

"Killing an innocent creature is immoral and cruel." She added. "But it may not die," she tried to convince her mother. "Still you are not sure." She said again. "Hmm you are right." Amelia gave in to her mother's argument because she didn't want to upset her any more. "We would not use it in experiment unless we know if it dies or survives," she assured her mother. Gianna smiled but she knew that her words of guarantee was a way to deceive her.

Amelia understood the complexity of situation. There were so many things that she wanted to do but there was a clash between her ideologies and the reality of circumstances. She was sure that there was no turning back from the path she had embarked her journey on. There was a spark of hope that had ignited in the past couple of days. And it was enough to keep her moving ahead. Her belief strengthened with every passing moment and that was what she had desired. No matter how tough it was she was meant to go. And she did!