Chapter 36

Curled up in a sofa with her feet tucked beneath her she lay closely with her mom as they silently watched TV. Gianna ran her fingers through Amelia's silky golden hair as she looked blankly at the show.

"Did dad ever talk to you about his friends?" Amelia suddenly broke silence that hung between them despite the high volume of the running program.

"Sometimes but not much."

She replied furrowing her forehead her eyes still glued on the show.

The sudden cue of her husband would often make her upset and that too unintendedly. Dealing with her daughter had been tough for her, partially because she had to keep some of the truths away from her not that she didn't deserve to know them but because if she knew she could hurt herself.

And in all the world that was the least she would ever want for her.

"... he was mostly alone...and..."

She whispered slowly through her breaths.

"And he never shared anything with you. Why wouldn't he?"

Amelia suddenly raised her head and looked at her mother with sad eyes.

"By the way, I am talking about his college friends... his friends from Harvard."

Gianna swallowed hardly as she heard her question.

"No not much." She maintained.

"Why?"

"What's bothering you?"

Gianna looked at her worriedly.

"Nothing just ... I mean I didn't have idea that Sir Henry was Dad's batch mate. It just hit me differently."

Her melancholic tone made Gianna worried but she remained silent.

"Maybe that wasn't important." Amelia uttered to herself as she lay her head back in her mother's lap.

"Did you tell him about your dad?" She asked after a moment of silence. The way she bit her lips while looking blankly at TV startled Amelia. The pretentious calmness in her mother's suddenly altering demeanor made her confused.

"No way.. Why would I?" She replied immediately turning her face towards her.

"He just mentioned Harvard and it made me sad." She further comforted Gianna while waiting for her response.

"Sweetie!!" She began with a pause.

"You have to be very cautious about everything you say and do. Trust me! It's really important. You have to know your boundaries."

"I never disallow you to do anything but I request you to not drag your father in conversations that are least reliable" she pleaded her.

"Mom you don't need to worry about that."

"I know my boundaries. And I know when to talk about what and why?"

Gianna felt a bit relieved but her racing heart did not comply yet.

Amelia's actual target was Benjamin but seeing her mother's expression held her back from asking anything.

"Maybe now is not the right time." She whispered to herself.

"What?" Gianna asked worriedly.

"Nothing mom."

"It's just not the right thing to ask about Dad's friends." She got up without looking at her.

Amelia knew that it was the only thing that disappointed her mother so she always feigned oblivion. And perhaps it was a win for her.

"It hurts me as much as it hurts you." She slowed down the volume and without making any prior reference she began with sadness in her eyes.

Amelia listened to her as she went to the kitchen and poured steaming hot water into a cup of green tea.

She gently took a sip as she came back to her mother.

"It hurts me because I couldn't love him enough... Also, it hurts me that I couldn't make him love me enough."

Amelia put the cup on the table as she listened to her mother.

"Mom that's not true. You know that he loved us. You have always told me that. What's making you say it?"

"No!" She sighed tiredly.

"I could have saved him."

She looked at her shivering hands with teary eyes.

"But maybe I was not enough for him." She suddenly let a painful cry.

"Although I did try my best." She looked at Amelia as if she needed consolation for all the regrets that swelled up in her heart.

"I thought he was someone who loved to be alone and work hard to achieve his goals." She started sobbing.

"But now I feel he could have done better if I made him talk to me. If I made him share everything that hid in his heart."

"Maybe I failed as a wife. Maybe I was the one who couldn't make him realize that I loved him dearly and that I trusted him."

Gianna cried incessantly as the tirade of regrets poured out of her heart.

Amelia kissed her on her forehead and hugged her tightly.

"Mom! I know you are the best mother in the world and I am sure without a speck of doubt that you were a best wife." She said firmly.

"And dad would have definitely thought the same if he was with us here today."

Gianna cleaned her tears as she listened to her daughter.

"Dad had an accident and it was written in his fate that no one could change." She reassured her mother but it was the first time when Gianna's eyes couldn't really match hers due to the lies and fallacies that remained associated with her husband's tragic accident.

"Neither could you nor could anyone else." But Gianna tried to look away unable to bear the burden of her own deceiving eyes.

It was something that Amelia felt too for the first time blatantly. But this time it was she who pretended unawareness.

She knew that there had been many things untold and hidden, but her mother's reaction would always stop her from asking questions.

"I may not know the kind of wife you were, but from the mother that you are, can tell me that no one could best serve my father than you. And I am proud of you for everything that you have done for me as a family." She hugged her again.

"Oh sweetie! That's the best thing you have ever said to me." She smiled as she hugged her back.