Part XLVIII

Joel looked in the mirror, he was wearing a simple shirt in gray color and brown trousers. It wasn't looking stunning, still he had nothing else. He corrected his hair and looked at his face. He looked fine, more or less. Oh shit was he behaving like a woman before going to a meeting with her lover? Hell no, he just wanted to look presentable, he didn't want to look pitiful. He stepped out of his room, there was nobody to guard him, he was free to move. He was in the main house, he knew the layout.

Joel was going up the stairs to the duke's private chambers. He was standing in front of the door when he heard some laughter, the door opened and a young servant with a bright smile left the duke's chamber straight to face Joel.

The servant was surprised, then bowed and left. The duke's expression turned serious.

"Why are you here?"

Joel's heart was throbbing, he felt so bad. Unimportant, the duke is the castle's master and can do whatever he wants with whoever he wants.

"I wanted to talk to you, my grace, I will only take a few minutes. Can you spare me some time?"

The duke moved aside letting Joel in.

The chambers looked just like before, nothing has changed and yet, everything was different.

The duke sat down and looked at Joel with indifference.

"First your grace, I would like to thank you for saving my life and taking care of me."

The duke nodded looking aside, not even at Joel. That felt somehow as humiliating as what the Lord was doing with him. Somehow the words got stuck in his throat.

"I wanted to explain everything." Joel felt nervous.

"No need." The duke stood up. "I'm not that dumb. You escaped as soon as I came. You escaped for the second time from me. Don't worry, I already informed Morrice, he will come to take you back any day now."

"What?" Joel stumbled back and the shock was written all over his face. His hands started to tremble. He needed to leave this place. Now.

The duke frowned looking at Joel's reaction.

"Please no, can I leave?" Joel almost whispered.

"You are running away from Morrice as well?" The duke shook his head. "You really are something, you drive men crazy. Make them fall for you and then run away, just like that. I feel sorry for Morrice. He was lonely for so many years and now he has fallen for you, opened his heart only for you to trample on it."

"Your grace, how well do you know Morrice?" Joel clenched his feasts.

"We've been friends since childhood."

That was bad but Joel decided to say everything, he had to. He had to let all his feelings out, he couldn't hold back anymore.

"He is a psychopath, he tortures young man. Cuts their thongues out, hits them, make's them commit a suicide." Joel didn't realize it but tears were rolling down his cheeks. "He punished a guard because I smiled at him, I have never seen him again, I don't know if that guard is alive or not." Joel whipped his face with his hand and continued. "I understand you hate me, but if you let him take me, you may as well kill me right now. It will be more merciful."

The duke was speechless for a moment.

"What are you saying?" There was disbelief in his eyes.

"I didn't run away from you, I escaped from him."

Somebody knocked on the door and Joeld flinched. His eyes went round from shock. He looked at the duke as if he wanted to ask him for help but didn't move.

"Enter."

"Sir, your tea and biscuits." The male servant entered the room and placed the tray on the table. He left looking curiously at Joel.

"I can't believe Morrice is like that." The duke stood up and came closer to Joel.

"Has he done anything to you?"

"No and yes."

"What do you mean?" The duke put his hands on Joel's shoulders. Joel was silent.

"Has he touched you without your consent?"

Joel nodded.

"Has he raped you?" The duke's eyes were dark as the deepest night.

"No. He enjoyed touching me, calling me an abnormal, filthy whore and he liked when I was touching him too. I played nice, I even kissed him in exchange for a ride. Then I managed to escape. Please don't let him take me." That's it Joel was crying and couldn't stop. The duke embraced him and Joel felt his warmth and his sent it was calming it gave him a sense of security.

"I won't, you are safe with me. Don't be afraid Joel." The duke's arms were strong and Joel finally felt at ease. He didn't want to let go.

"Can I stay here with you, your Grace?"

"Yes you can. Come here." The duke lifted Joel and took him to the bed and they were hugging till Joel calmed himself down.

"Joel, why did you leave me?" He heard the duk's question.

"I took the money from a merchant to bring his daughter back. I had to finish my assignment. As I was actually stealing her from your grace's castle I couldn't say anything about it to anyone. What happened between us wasn't planned. I have never been with a man and I was confused about what happened and my own feelings. I escaped with the girl and brought her back to her family. As soon as I got the rest of the money and finished my work the lord caught me."

There was a deep sight. The duke wanted to look at Joel but Joel was holding him tightly.

"Don't push me away, hold me." He begged.

"I won't. I will never let you go again."

Joel smuggled himself into the duke and fell asleep, feeling calm and comfortable for the first time since the lord caught him.