Chapter Three

Tyler's POV

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Go and show him how much he means to you" Catherine's been lecturing me all morning and unfortunately I haven't anything better to do so I have to listen to her. I wish I wasn't an early riser.

I could have spent the last forty minutes laying in bed and maybe I should have.

I might do that tomorrow.

"There's no use Catherine" there's no way back for me.

He's told me I'm out and that he'll never let anyone else be with me.

"Of course, there is sweetie" I shake my head.

Zach won't be taking me back. It took six months last time and I tried every damn day.

I can't go through that again.

The heartbreak every time he walks past me or ignores my existence. The days he locked himself in his office at work. The throwing back of presents.

The arguments, I especially can't do the arguments.

I hate arguing with him.

"You should at least go and see Violet" she tries another avenue.

"But he's there" I sigh at her. I've only been going every few days before work so I have an excuse to leave pretty quickly. Most of the time they are sleeping when I drop past.

"Violet needs you. Don't make two mistakes. That girl might pretend she is strong but she isn't. After what happened she needs as much love as she can get. It's been four days since you've bothered to see her." I hate that Catherine chastises me, I hate that she's right. I hate that she's just like another mom.

Even if Zach doesn't want to see me, that doesn't mean I shouldn't bother with Violet. I know this, yet I haven't bothered with her because again I'm selfish.

"Fine, I'll go see her before I go to work" she smiles down at me.

"Good, you can take these to them."

She pushes two bags of dinner and snacks toward me. Catherine's been cooking and tubbing food for them daily. Great now I have to go.

I have no excuse why I don't leave straight away, no excuse at all but I take as long as I can to drink the mug of coffee in front of me.

I sip it tentatively even though it's going cold and I hate cold coffee. I hate the feeling of the cold liquid hitting my tongue. But I swallow it anyway.

I'd much rather sip some alcohol, but I'll have to do that later.

"Stop procrastinating" Catherine rubs my shoulders.

I close my eyes swallowing the anxiety in my throat.

"Thank you for breakfast Cathrine."

"Have a good day darling."

I take the bag of food with me as I exit her apartment. I can barely face myself in the mirror let alone face Zach because I don't like what I see anymore and he probably feels the same.

Then there's Callum, he's acting as though I hurt him too.

As I step outside Catherine's apartment I notice two figures standing outside our apartment door, I take a few steps towards them and I'm surprised when I find Zach's mother and father staring right back at me.

My stomach quite literally turns, this is all I need.

What are they doing here? Zach isn't going to be too, please.

I can't say I am either.

"What are you doing next door?" She says as she walks over to me enveloping me in the biggest of cuddles. I let her fold me into her arms, even holding her back. It's been years since she cuddled me and I needed that. I sigh into her hair refusing to step away first.

"Collecting something from Catherine" I lie bringing the bag into view.

"Where's Zach?" my eyes widen, he probably hasn't even told them. I guess I'll have to break the news.

I look down at my mother-in-law. Or do I just call her Carla now? I swallow that thought.

"Zach's at the hospital."

"What?" I wince at her panic, I should have said that better.

"Zach's okay. It's Violet" her eyes widen this time too, what the hell is wrong with me?

"The new girlfriend?" I nod watching Zach's father swallow slightly. So he isn't pleased with her. I didn't think he would be.

He hated Rose passionately so I don't know why I thought he might have changed.

"What happened?"

"Um, long story. I need to get going. To give them this food before I start work. You are more than welcome to follow. I'm sure Zach would love to see you" I point that comment just at his mom, he won't give two hoots that his dad is here. I give a pointed look at Jerry and he nods knowing what Zach is like.

I don't know what Jerry expects, when you beat a person they tend not to like you.

"Jerry will follow you, I'll take a ride with you."

She tells me as I start to walk towards the lift again.

I swallow down my refusal because although I don't need this I know there's no way around it and most importantly I won't be able to lie to her.

This morning is going to be a shit show and I can't wait to get to the office where I can just lock the door and drown my sorrows.

"Okay," I tell her as she links her arm to mine.

She pats my forearm protectively and we don't say anything else until we're in my car.

I know I'm in for it, she's always seen through my lies. Just like my mother.

"Okay spill. What happened."

I buckle up as I think about what I should tell her.

How can I skirt around what happened to Violet? I can't but I should. She's never even met her and that's a lot to tell someone.

"It's complicated mom."

"Well, I want to hear all about it" of course she does.

"Essentially Violet was raped by her stepfather in our apartment, he killed her, she lost our baby and I cheated on them" she gasps.

"Shall we talk about this one thing at a time? Violet was sexually assaulted and killed. Is she still alive?"

"She's still alive mom" I pull out of the parking space, clocking Jerry in his Honda behind me.

"Zach won't be happy with his dads here."

"Never mind about that. So she lost the baby?"

"Yes."

"Elaborate Tyler."

"I don't know mom when she died apparently the baby died too. Something about oxygen doesn't travel to the womb or some crap" I swallow the lump that forms in my throat at the anguish I feel. It won't do me any good shouting at her, Zach will kill me.

"This is a lot to take in. Did you know the stepfather was abusing her?"

"We assumed yes."

"And nobody called the police?"

"No."

"That's ridiculous, why not?"

"We hired security personnel for her because we needed evidence. He didn't do his job... obviously."

"Well, you must have that now. And people like that darling, they will always work around you. That man probably waited for her to be alone."

"Yeah, they had enough evidence to arrest him," I think over the last part of what she just said. Did he know Callum had left her alone?

Has he been waiting her out this whole time, I just presumed he got lucky that Callum had, in fact, stepped out but what if that isn't the case?

Maybe my anger towards Callum is unfounded.

"And you said you cheated. Tell me about that" I side-eye her, she's looking right at me of course.

No condemnation in her eyes, there never is. I flex my hands on the steering wheel, heat travelling up my spine that I'm admitting this to my mother-in-law of all people.

"When she was unconscious I went and" I'm at a loss for words. I went and abused an ex-sub of ours. But how do I explain that to her?

"Yes, Tyler" I squeeze my eyes shut. I didn't fuck her so I can't say that. I don't want her getting the wrong idea but I don't want to admit I hurt Sophie either.

"Spit it out, what did you do?"I look at her as we pull up to a red light. Swallowing down my fear I turn away and tell her the truth.

"I whipped Sophie" she gasps at my words and I don't dare to look over at her. I can't see another person being disappointed in me.

"Sophie as in the same girl as last time?" I nod my head once.

"Did she consent?" I frown at her. I forget she knows so much more than a normal mom would about our relationship.

"Of course she did."

"And that's all you did?"

"Yes."

"Have you told my son that yet?"

"He won't believe me."

"I think you should keep trying because that's not exactly cheating."

"It is to him, mom. He hates her. He told me to leave."

"I'd gathered as much. You look like shit" I scoff at her choice of words.

Zach picked up his foul mouth from his mom obviously. She pats my leg in reassurance and we don't talk for the rest of the journey.

Would Zach even listen if I tried to tell him that I didn't have sex with Sophie?

Did he believe me the other day??

Part of me wished I just kept it to myself. I've needed him these last few days.

Of course, a huge part of me wishes I had never gone to her, that I bloody thought it through before I had carried out whipping her.

Then there's the problem of Sophie.

She's been non-stop ringing me, I haven't apologised or given her an explanation.

And I need to, but I know if he knows I've been around her again that I'm just gonna be even more in his bad books.

I can't believe she's pregnant. Why did she agree to be whipped in her condition anyway?

Since Zach made a show in front of her she's doubled her efforts, him claiming me has only made her worse. It always does.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Apologising to Sophie."

"What do you have to apologise to her for?" I sigh in resignation.

"I just turned up asked her to play, whipped her and left."

"Tyler Mason."

"I know mom, you don't need to tell me I've fucked up" She looks at me for a long moment. I start to wither under her stare.

"You never swear."

Did I swear? I shrug at her. I don't even know who I am anymore.

What I do know though is I need a drink or two.