Coming out of the closet 2

"So you would never tell me if you were never in a relationship then. I mean you know almost everything about me so I thought I knew a lot about you but I never even knew something important about you. What if I was the type to criticize you and I said mean stuff without knowing any of this? " I went on nagging mode.

"That is why you are my friend, because you don't judge others. I know you are that type of guy." He had this invisible confidence of what he said was the absolute truth.

"Then why did you not tell me?" I got curious. Then if he was so sure, why wouldn't he tell me about this.

"I said I don't want our relationship to be complicated."

"How would that change anything?" I wondered.

"Exactly. Because I would want more from you and I, for one, don't want us to be in that type of relationship to begin with. Coz what about if we fight or break up or not before that, what if I want you? Then what? I'm trying to say that I want to be your friend without wanting more but now I went and said it. So tell me Caleb, now what?" He was almost shouting at this point.

"Nothing" I said, "We will be friends. I won't judge you. Tell me if you want more I will give it, I don't mind."

"Shut up. Caleb. I am serious here. I don't want to share, okay? You have a fiancé and you really shouldn't be saying these words to me." Jadon was now almost tearing up. His eyes were so red I could tell how much he was holding back.

"Sorry. I mean if you really want I could give those up for you. I mean every single word." I said without any hesitation it stunned me. Was I really willing? I guess my heart had the better of me by then.

"Can I kiss you?" He shocked me.

"If you really want to." I replied. But weirdly enough, I was looking forward to a kiss with Jadon. It was too shocking.

"...."

"Nah. Not now at the very least. I will settle for a hug." I opened my arms and he crawled in. I wanted to assure him of all his insecurities and doubts. I wanted to convey to him that I was fine with all of him.

I didn't know why I said some stuff. It felt right deep down and I knew if I said it any differently I would probably regret it later. I didn't want to hurt him most of all. I was being honest most of all. If my lies would hurt him, if my denial would make him doubt or my pride shatter our bond. I would rather cast it away.

"Thank you." He whispered

That was how I found out a bit more about him today. I was happy for some reason I can't explain. I felt he would lean on me more from now on. I guess that's what I wanted.