Simone

Reed, Reed, Reed…

His name continues to replay in my head as I pace my room while Jerom watches me.

Mate. Mate. Mate…

I never thought I'd feel something so powerful as the mate bond before. It was unlike anything I've ever known.

He'll come back. He'll come back. He'll come back…

That smile – that gentle warm smile – just for me and not those idiotic sluts we call she-wolves. He didn't reject me. He didn't look disgusted with me, but he seemed delighted if not a bit surprised by me. I wanted to be near him again, I wanted to see him hold his hand out to me again in an offer to go with him and be his mate. I needed to be in his arms.

I snapped my eyes to the door when I heard a knock and I almost growled when Alpha Roniston came in with an almost triumphant look. "He's gone."

My heart fell. "What!" I gasped, falling to my knees in despair. "He can't be! He said he'd fight for me! He said he'd talk to you!"

Roniston shrugged. "Once you were inside, he said what he told you was only to shut you up, that he couldn't waste time with something he couldn't have. He's a smart man."

I shook my head, but his eyes held honesty in them. "He left me! My mate left me."

"I'm sorry, Simone, but it's for the best." The alpha gave my pitiful eyes before walking out of my room.

"Simone?" Jerom whispered.

"I'm sorry, Jer, but can you let me be for a while? I need space and I can't handle anymore interactions right now," I say softly, defeated.

He hesitated but then nodded. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything."

I nod my head as he walks out. Once his footsteps have faded, I lock the door and start sobbing, pounding my fists on the wood in a way to take out my anger. The hollowness builds up once more and I feel myself go on all fours, whining and crying on the floor.

I don't know how long I lay there, huddled in a ball. I must've fallen asleep a few times because it seems like only minutes pass by and it's dark outside. I steady myself and stand up, going to my bed and getting my journal. No matter how insane I might get, I will write what I want.

Day 2,739

Alpha Reed.

I finally find my mate – or he finds me – only to have him leave me again. I don't know his true reasonings, but he obviously doesn't want me. I would have accepted the role of Luna if he had given me the chance. I would've been strong and loyal if he had taken me with him. I would have made him proud to call me his mate if only he had given me more time.

Mother was right. Mates only bring pain and suffering. I shouldn't have been so forward and trusting.

Alpha Roniston was right for keeping me in my room while Reed was here.

Alpha Reed was someone I thought I could be myself with. I thought he'd have become good friends with Jerom since I could tell he had a sense of humor. He was a handsome man – arrogant like most Alphas – but I felt safe with him.

For once in my life, I wanted a mate. For once in my life, I thought someone cared. I thought I'd be free of all this protection bullshit. Who'd be after me anyways? No one even knows me! No one knows I exist outside this pack except Reed. I'm not a memorable person, let alone wolf. What's worse? Whoever is after me – if that's true – wants me dead. If I go with Alpha Reed, then I'd put him in danger.

If I go with Reed, I put his pack in danger.

If I go with him, I risk many lives.

It's a good thing he left me after all…

A knock on my door made me come alert once more of my surroundings. "Who is it?"

"It's me," Alpha Roniston said softly. "May I come in?"

Sighing, I put my journal away and unlock the door before going back to my bed. "Go ahead."

He opens the door and looks at me, a tray of food in his hands. "I thought you might be hungry. You didn't answer when we called you for dinner."

I look at the tray and see delicious potatoes and ribs piled high on a plate with a glass of milk on the side. "No thank you. I'm not feeling exceptionally good right now."

"Simone, forget about him. I wouldn't have let him take you just to put you in danger. You're safer here than with him. Mates only cause destruction to one another."

I shrug. "It still hurts, but I'll be fine by morning. Just let me sleep it off some more."

He sets the tray on my dresser and nods. "I still want you to eat something between now and then."

"I'll try," I say monotoned.

Roniston stares at me for a moment before looking down. "To make it up to you, you can spend the day with Jerom running near the borders. That or going with some of the girls to the mall in the city."

My eyes widen at his offer. "You're serious?"

"I'll even give you some money to buy yourself something nice."

"Even after what I did today?"

He runs a hand through his hair. "What you did was understandable. You weren't thinking clearly with him so close and I should've known how it might affect you. I just never though he'd be your mate."

"So, the mate bond makes people go crazy?" I ask hesitantly.

He shrugs. "Depending on how strong it is."

I nod and rest my head against the wall behind me. "Maybe I'll go to the mall. I need a new pair of jeans anyways."

He smiled and sighed. "They leave at noon. Come by my office before then to get some money and you can go with."

I nod and he leaves. When I know he's gone for good, I jump up and go to Jerom's bedroom and climb on top of him while he sleeps. He groans and tries to push me off. "Seriously, Si? You're waking me up before day light?"

"No, idiot!" I hiss as I crawl under the covers beside him. "I'm staying the night here, so I don't have to think about other shit."

His eyes open and he looks down at me warily. "You know, you can show some emotion with me, right? You don't have to act all okay like you do with everyone else."

"Who said I am emotional?" I asked and turned over, closing my eyes, and taking a deep breath. "I'm perfectly fine."

There's a moment of silence in which I thought he'd fallen asleep. But then he says, "Sure you are."

I get up the next morning and get ready for the day before going to Roniston's office and grabbing two hundred dollars for the trip. The girls ignore me completely unless to make sure I'm staying close as we walk into the city and towards the huge shopping mall where crowds of people are standing or sitting conversing with one another.

I can buy a pair of jeans, some new sneakers, and a jacket for around one hundred fifty bucks, then use ten more dollars on food before I'm ready to go back. The other girls, however, seem to start flirting with men and get distracted. They don't notice when I sneak into a sporting goods store and disappear. I didn't need to see their tongues halfway down each other's throats.

I see a jersey Jerom would like and smile, but it is out of my price range, so I don't get it. My thoughts wander to Reed again and before I can stop myself, I have tears in my eyes. I immediately wish he was here with me instead of the others. Then I wish Jerom was here to take my mind from Reed and make jokes about how I take forever looking at clothing. My heart sinks to the bottom of my gut at each thought, knowing they wouldn't come true.

"Excuse me?" I spin and see a mid-forty-year-old woman looking down at me. "Do you need help with anything?"

I shake my head and see one of the girls waving me over. "No but thank you." I slip past her and over to the group.

One of the girls grabs my arm and drags me after them. "The Alpha was extremely strict about you staying with us, Simone! You don't want to anger him more, do you?"

I shake my head and continue with them as we head back to the pack. On the way, I sense then see a pair of eyes watching us. It makes me look around in anxiety, but none of the other girls seem to notice. I thought I was hallucinating, so I let it go and followed them home.

We were almost there when the lead she-wolf rounded on her heel and grabbed me, pushing me ahead. "Go!" she snarled.

I blink back at her. "What?"

"Go! Get to the pack and tell Alpha Roniston to send help!"

I look around and shake my head. "I'm not leaving you to—"

She bared her teeth at me. "I said go back home, now! For once in your miserable life, listen to what someone tells you to do!"

This makes me back up away from her and nod. I turn and sprint the familiar trail back to the pack while I hear the girls behind me. I'm just inside the border when I hear fighting. Skidding to a stop, I turn and see a wolf attacking them. It was a blur of movement and had lethal looking claws and teeth. My heart jumped into my throat as I stood there and watched as one by one, all the girls are killed before my eyes. The lead she-wolf still stands now, limping slightly as she faces off with the wolf.

When she catches sight of me, her eyes widen. This distracts her long enough for the attacker to lunge and rip out her throat. They both fall to the ground and I scream, making the birds shoot out of the trees. The wolf turns its head towards me, blood dripping down its muzzle. I take a step back before another growl sounds from somewhere to my left.

The wolf turns its head towards the noise, and I take off. I run towards the pack house where I know Roniston is sitting in his office with his Beta. It comes into view after a few yards and I'm tackled to the ground, screaming, and struggling. Behind me, where the pack is, I hear people calling my name, but the wolf on top of me lets out a ferocious roar and they stay back. I curl into a ball and cover my head with my hands, knowing it was no good because this wolf was much stronger than I will ever be.