Doubt

Lance watched as Michael retreated back toward the wagon, a hand braced against his growling stomach as he went. The sight would have been almost comedic on any other day, but with Hoplite having been reduced to this state, it couldn't even draw a grin from her. She was still frustrated with Hoplite for what he had said to her earlier that day, but that didn't mean she despised him. She drew no pleasure from seeing him broken like this, indeed it tore her guts out to see him babbling and staring like a madman…

She decided right then that she would continue being angry with him, but only after he went back to normal. He was her friend and he needed her help, but she would need to proceed carefully, or else she might get crushed as Michael had. Hoplite may have let him go, but he had still hurt him, and pretty badly from what she saw. She'd follow Michael's advice and try to choose her words carefully, but first, she needed to find out what he had said that pushed Hoplite to violence.

She quickly followed after Michael, leaving Twindil and the others to watch over Hoplite. Lance didn't think they'd try to talk to him after that display, but she guessed that they would at least stay close to keep an eye on Hoplite. She and Twindil shared a meaningful glance, and Lance read understanding in her eyes. Twindil knew Lance's intentions it seemed, and likely she knew that it'd be best to leave Hoplite to her.

Michael scrambled up into the back of the wagon like a rabid dog, a thin stream of drool even leaking out of his mouth as he tore open a sack filled with dried jerky. He wasted no time in stuffing his face filled to bursting with the meat, and Lance couldn't help but wince. His teeth would be horribly sore after munching through all that leathery flesh, but she understood the hunger he felt. Being healed that way always left a pit in one's stomach the size of Ahkoolis itself.

Right as she was about to climb up herself, Theopalu roused from his slumber at the other end of the wagon. His wrinkled face furrowed, his nose seeming to lift him from his seat as the scent of jerky reached his nose. He yawned, slowly moving over to Michael and reaching his hand into the bag. Michael snarled, smacking the intruding hand away in between bouts of stuffing his mouth whenever space opened up. 

Theopalu frowned, and tried to wrest the bag free of Michael's grip. 

The Outworlder pulled the sack away violently, "I shaw yoo eash ouh o dee by noshelf!" Michael shouted, his words muffled and distorted from the blockage.

"I'm old." Theopalu replied, "I need a lot to eat… did we reach Akan-var by the way?" He asked, holding his hand out palm upward.

Michael ignored the question, turning his back to Theopalu and leaving the bag braced between his legs. That was when he saw her, still standing there watching him with a small frown beneath the wagon. His chewing slowed to a halt, his cheeks completely filled like a rodent storing food. 

"I wanted to ask what you had said to Hoplite to provoke him… I'll wait for you to finish." She said with a sigh, climbing into the wagon to sit beside him, "And no Theopalu, we're still not there yet."

"I see…" Her elder replied, trying to reach over Michael's shoulder and into the bag, "Soon I'm sure."

Michael slapped his hand away again with a sharp glare, and Lance took advantage of his distraction to swipe up a single piece of jerky from the sack. She then tossed the piece to Theopalu, who caught it with casual ease, stuffing the whole piece in his mouth before swallowing it whole… as usual, without chewing it. Michael stared at her like she had just stabbed him, betrayal clear in his eyes.

"Another." Theopalu said, holding his hand out again.

"That's all you get for now old friend." Lance told him, "If you'll excuse us? You can go back to your nap if you'd wish, but I must speak with Michael."

Theopalu grumbled for only a moment before slinking back to his corner of the wagon, returning to slumber the instant he laid down. All these years and she still couldn't understand why an elf would ever need to sleep that much, even one as old as Theopalu. 

"Finish that mouthful." Lance said, raising an eyebrow as she stared at his still-bulging cheeks.

Michael narrowed his eyes at her, but did as she said, quickly chewing up the jerky before finally gulping it down and letting out a satisfied sigh. His eyes found hers, and she read hesitation in his eyes. He pursed his lips for a moment before finally taking a deep breath, seeming to resign himself to something.

"I gotta give you some context here…" He said, averting his eyes, "I'm pretty sure Hopps got…" He hesitated again, "Got re-indoctrinated. I don't think you know what that means- not in Ternan terms anyway, but it's a serious punishment." 

Lance said nothing, silently paying attention as Michael continued his explanation.

"Normally it's the last form of punishment for folks who're disloyal… and stubborn." He continued with a wince, "They strap em' to a chair, the accused I mean… I ain't never seen one mind, but I heard it looks kinda mundane, but they connect something to yer brain to re-write it to fit with what Terna approves of." He paused, "It only takes a second normally, sometimes not even half-a-second, but the chair can only re-write thoughts if the guy sitting in it gives in n' lets it. I heard every second spent resisting it makes it seem like ten years go by while yer still sitting there. That's why it usually doesn't take very long to give in and let it change what ya think." He leaned in closer to her, "If yer plannin' on talking to him, be careful. I don't know how long he was in the chair, but it had to have been a long time for him to be actin' like that… a real long time. Don't mention the chair or re-indoctrination, alright?"

Lance stood abruptly, her face having grown hot with rage the longer Michael's explanation had gone on. How dare this Terna treat anyone to that kind of hell, this 'Lord Jyn' was nothing short of a demon! It was one thing to imprison rebels and other dissidents, but to subject them to decades of torture was nothing short of villainy! Taking children and making them into emotionless husks, torturing its own citizens for questioning the regime- Lance had fully made up her mind now.

She would be taking Hoplite away from the Octopus that was Terna, one way or another, he would be free to live his own life, outside the reach of his tyrannical overlord. He wasn't even in the same realm anymore, they would never put him back in that chair, and if they came to try, she would find a way to stop them. She leapt from the wagon, landing cleanly and running back over to Hoplite. Twindil and the others turn to stare at her, surprised at her sudden sprint. She ignored their questions, rushing to Hoplite's side.

He had slumped to the ground again, pulling his knees to his chest as he stared dead ahead.

"I am loyal." He said, "I will serve loyally."

She leaned down, taking her head in her hands and tilting it up to face her. She stared into those vacant golden eyes… and read sheer terror there. No other emotion could be read from those eyes… it was all that remained.

"I won't let you go back!" Lance shouted, "You will not go back, do you hear me!" 

The emotion in his eyes shifted from terror to confusion for a brief instant before reverting to their previous state. He began mumbling again when she put her forehead to his, his eyes all that she could see. She had never been this close to him before… his skin was hot to the touch, almost as if he was feverish. If he really did have the blood of a Dragon, then this heat wasn't an indicator of illness, it was just how he was.

"You won't go back Hoplite." She told him, "I'm not going to let them take you. It's alright."

His mumblings quieted, his eyes now conveying uncertainty, doubt, and fear. She needed to appeal to that cold logic of his if she wanted to make any headway, thankfully she knew just what to say.

"They can't reach you here, Hoplite, you're safe." She whispered in his ear, "This is a different realm than yours, remember?" She hesitated before continuing, "They can't put you back in the chair if one doesn't exist here. It's over and they can't hurt you again."

He froze again for an instant, a nigh volcanic rage in his eyes. Just as she was about to pull away though, the emotion shifted, as did his expression. His eyes had narrowed a bit, brow furrowed, deep frown set on his face… consideration. That was it, he was thinking about it now, the risk had been worth it after all. She continued to hold his head in her hands, keenly aware of how hot her palms were becoming. Lance dare not retract them now though, not while he was thinking about what she'd told him, she'd not risk him losing his train of thought.

After another long moment passed, he finally took a deep, shuddering breath. The fear was still there in his eyes, but the discipline was back now too, slowly drowning the terror beneath it before it was all that remained in his steely gaze. Slowly but surely, he stood, gently brushing away her hands before turning his back to her.

"Thirty seconds was how long it took for the chair to fix me." Hoplite told her, "It has clearly damaged my psyche. I apologize for the trouble, it will not happen again."

Lance paled at the words. After what Michael had told her… that meant that it had taken three-hundred years for Hoplite's stubbornness to give in to what the chair wanted. She couldn't even imagine the mind-numbing madness one would feel after just one second in that hellish device… and wait just one second, what did he just say!?

"Fix you!?" Lance yelled, baffled, "It hurt you, traumatized you, it was nothing short of pure evil!."

His head hung low, "I know." He said, his voice nearly inaudible, "I was disloyal though, and it had to be done. Terna needed me."

"Is that what-" She started sharply.

"Please, we can talk more later. I… want to be alone." He said, speaking over her, "Thank you for your assistance, Lance." He finished, turning his head to meet her eyes.

And with that, he picked up his helmet, slipping it over his head before walking off, leaving her shocked. Besides the discipline in his eyes just then, there was a new emotion present, one that looked to be growing in intensity…

It was doubt.