Chapter 11 : A place to call home (4)

Waking up with a hangover is the worst. My head hurts for no reason, I smell awful, and most importantly I didn't feel energized at all.

"Eli thinks that Nate Stinks! NATE! GO TAKE A BATH!"

is what Elis said as she woke up. I... forgot what happened yesterday. but to be fair.... I don't think I got laid.

Eli pinched her nose as she stormed out of the room. Did I smell that bad... *sniff* yep... definitely that bad. and so reluctantly I go to the bathroom and take a shower. Getting out of the shower... I wonder what I should do today....

*Bang*

MY door is kicked down by a bald man....

"Nate! Guess what I heard from the RnD guys today?"

"What?"

"A drunk demon lord teaches a bunch of Noobs about space magic. and now we have to pass laws that prohibit using space magic indoors. "

"... I know nothing..."

He looks at me deadpanned. and operates his tablet. He opens up a video... and looks at that that's me ...

"Ummm nope that's not me...."

And then there's also me barrating everyone in the crowd before Portaling-off somewhere else.

".... Yeah... About that... I'm drunk as F--"

*Bang*

Then another person kicked down my door. it seems that it's the flat chested Witch.

"Onii-chan! WHY DIDN'T YOU TEACH ME THAT SPELL!?!? AM I NOT ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH!?!?!? WAHHHH!"

Ughhhh.... an annoying flat chested brat ran up to me and tackled me with her body. it's as light as a feather, and as hard as a brick... it's just... sad....

"Calm Down Meds..."

"SHUT UP YOU STUPID BALD HEADED VIRGIN!"

"!?"

And so they both start bickering in front of me for literally no reason at all. I wasn't paying attention because I felt that... something's missing... mayhaps not missing but it's closer to forgetting something.... I wonder what it is..

"HEY NATE!""HEY ONII-CHAN"

"!?"

"YOU BETTER PUBLISH YOUR KNOWLEDGE YOU HEAR!?"x2

!?!?!?!?

====

Spy number 17012307786 reporting for duty.... I'm somehow... Discarded. HELL AFTER VIOLATING MY BODY THAT BASTARD JUST THREW ME AWAY...

I resigned myself to my death the moment that bastard choked me. but that death never came... instead... my cool tattoo disappeared... and that's a freaking ELDRITCH tattoo... HOW COOL IS THAT!? *Cough* *Cough* I mean losing your sanity for some style points is a hell of bargain if you ask me!

Where was I? OH! Yeah! After the whole eldritch fiasco, I somehow felt ... refreshed, and a bit light headed. I was then carried into what seems to be a sick bay and then after a few tests.... I was asked to leave and have a nice day...

NICE DAY MY A**! I WAS KIDNAPPED BY THE ENEMY, GOT MY MIND R****D BY AN ELDRITCH ENTITY WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING IT, AND THEY JUST LET ME GO!? HELLO!!! SUPER ENEMY SPY HERE!?!? NO MATTER I SHALL REPORT ALL THIS BACK TO HQ! YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED RC-INC!

*Breath in*

*Breath Out*

"Aunty! Aunty!"

"I'm Still 19! STOP CALLING ME AUNT---"

EH!? Isn't That the VVIP? Eli Celeste? I mean if I kidnap her here would I get a promotion!?

"But Aunty looks like a grown up with a lot of life problems!"

"..."

MY ONLY PROBLEM IS WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!

"Hehehehe you're a smart kid aren't you!"

"Of course! Eli is the smartest!"

"Hehehe, Aunty is new here, care to show this aunty around?"

"Umu, let's go get ice-cream!"

and so operation kidnapping a little brat is officially a go.

The Icecream shop is Phenomenal! The exterior seems like a boring everyday apartment, but the inside is... WHOAH...

I thought I was just isekai again! with that System screen hologram.... Thank the old ones International Dollars are accepted!

And this heavenly taste! No wonder this little kid is addicted to it! Who's the cook that made this heavenly creation!

NO Bad tongue! don't get distracted! The objective is in front of you all you have to do is trick the girl into coming with you... but how do you do tha--! and suddenly it hit me.

"Eli, are you hungry?"

"Hmm Hmm"

She nods her head.

"Do you want to eat something delish?"

"Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmm" she nods her head faster.

"Let's go to Sakura-Machi!"

"! Eli just went there yesterday...."

!?!? You what? No... impossible... she can't have gone there! Even if she did... She must have come over when I'm attacked... yeah... It's positively not my fault!

"Then... how about we go to... BalaLuri?"

"You mean Bala-Luri, that's the home of Pizzas and Pastas!?"

"Yes!"

"What are we waiting for? Let's GO!"

"OK! Let me go buy a train ticket first..."

YES! CHILD GET!

"EEEeeee? Trains? why don't we just... Open a hole there?"

EHHHH? WHAT DO YOU MEAN OPEN A HOLE....

"Ah there you are Eli, we've been searching for you! have you been a good girl?"

"Umu.. Eli is always a good girl, Eli even takes Aunty into the ice cream shop!"

A hole literally tears reality apart as the BASTARD THAT CHOKED ME DOWN AND THRASHED ME AROUND CAME!! AND THAT'S THE MAN IN THE SUIT!

"Ah you're the girl from yesterday right? Did you sleep well?"

"MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS BALDY!"

MY CHANCE TO KIDNAP THE KID! RUINED!

"HAHAHAHA! see! told you! Nobody likes a baldy!"

EH a little girl in a witch costume? Isn't she one of the highest bounty the organization gave? Maybe I can end her here? as I said that I traced a mana into a knife as I ready myself to throw the knife. Throwing it now would not give me any advantage as there's a couple of people with a strong perception...

"Nate! Nate! open a portal to BalaLuri! pretty please!"

I now learned his name... Nate huh... I'll kill you too one day... He simply raised his eyebrow at me! Oh no... No good did he sense my killing intent!?!?

"Hey..."

"Y-Y-Yes...?"

"You gave the idea that BalaLuri has good restaurants right?"

Shit shit shit!

"Y-Yes..."

"What restaurant is it then?"

!?!?!? F*** I hadn't thought that far.... HAS HE REALLY SEEN THROUGH ME!?

"Nate, You can't do that to a girl..."

"Eh?"

"Look at you, you're asking a woman for a restaurant? You'll only get answers like 'anything will do' or 'The most expensive one is the best' or---"

"So Baldy, you're saying that a girl can't pick a good restaurant? like how you can't get laid?"

Eh? EH?

"Hold it right there on the washing board! I'm paying so I should be treated with respect!"

"WITH THE COMPANY'S CARD!"

"But I'm still the one paying!"

"Still doesn't give you any more respect!"

This is my chance! as I throw my knife to the bickering little witch girl with subsonic speed.

but then something strange happened... HER HAIR TURNED AT ME AND ATE MY DAGGER!

WHAT!?

"eh?"

"?"

"Did you do something to my shampoo Baldy?"

"WHY WOULD I DO ANYTHING TO YOUR SHAMPOO?"

"Tch maybe you drugged it or something!"

"WITH A WASHBOARD LIKE YOU? HELL NO!"

and they immediately continued bickering. Only Nate is looking at me as if looking at a fool... wait did he... I read his lips as he said.

[I saw it.]

YOU SUCK YOUR WHOLE FAMILY SUCKS!