Secrets and Promises (one shot)

Crystal stood in front of the mirror looking so pristine in her beautiful wedding gown. Her hair was made up magnificently, with few curly strands dangling at the side of her angelic face. The makeup artist did a good job in enhancing her delicate features that would shame all of the super models I've seen on TV or any magazine. I had to muster all my strength just to keep myself from running to her side and hug her. All I could do was to stand by the door and feed my memory with every inch of her, hoping to bring it to the last of my breath when I grow old and perish.

Then she saw me by the mirror. She smiled at me without turning around to face me. That smile was so sweet yet it seemed to be lacking something, though, I got no idea what was missing. I mean, everything about her was perfect.

"Franz, I'm glad you came," something flickered in her eyes. But before I could catch what it was, she looked down at her gloved hands.

Was it sadness in her eyes?

No. It couldn't be. Maybe she was just too nervous on her biggest day ever. I heard that my mom cried when she got married. Knowing Crystal, I won't be surprised if she would too.

"Hah! Of course!" I laughed. "I can't afford to miss seeing you wave goodbye to your single status," I discreetly leaned beside the door of her room. I felt so weak I'm afraid I would fall on my knees the longer I stood there. I need support.

She smiled at my lame joke, a smile that didn't really reach her eyes. It was so unlike her usual smile that would always make the world smile back at her. She seemed sad.

Or was it just my imagination?

No... of course not. She's just nervous... might be worried even. Girls tend to be emotional on big events such as this one. Even so, she still looked perfectly gorgeous.

"You look so beautiful," I murmured, unable to hold those words in my heart anymore.

"Thanks," she smiled, but her lips looked pursed. She then went to the window and stared down at the lawn where tables and chairs were arranged to accommodate all the guests that will come and celebrate the wedding with them.

Indeed, she looked different now than she did months ago. It was almost a year when she was diagnosed with chronic viral hepatitis. She needed a new liver so she had to undergo the operation. She was so ill that I was scared she might not be able to make it. Thanks God, she's still here, standing in front of me, looking more beautiful than ever.

My cousin Brent, who publicly confessed his love to her, told her that he was willing to give her his own kidney so she would survive. I remember watching her cry as she thanked him. I remembered crying silently as I watched them from a distance. She wanted to live longer. I want her to live longer too. I don't want her to be in pain. I don't want to lose her in this life.

Our parents were close so we grew up together and became best of friends since kindergarten. She was clumsy, a scaredy-cat, and a cry-baby cute brat. She had a talent on tripping over nothing on a flat surface and cry. She would drop anything on her foot, bleed, and cry. Some nasty kids would call her cry-baby and she'd cry. And yeah, until now, when she watches a nice movie, she would still cry.

As her best friend, I was always there to help her up when she fell down on her knees, save her from bullies, and cheer her up when she's sad. I was like a big brother who was always there to protect her.

That's the sad part of my story... I was just a big brother for her... I was just her best friend...

I wasn't complaining though. Being her best friend had its ups and downs. I would get hugs when she's happy, I got kisses on my birthdays, I got to watch my favorite show and spend lots of time with her. It's just that, whenever she got a crush, or a suitor, I'd be the first to know.

Of course I couldn't complain about that, and I never would.

When my cousin Brent came to spend his vacation here two years ago, he instantly became fond of Crystal. I mean, who wouldn't? She's beautiful inside and out. She was smart, amusing, considerate, and almost perfect. They instantly became friends. He was always calling her on the phone and paid us a weekly visit.

One day, Brent told me he had fallen in love with her. He said he was serious and was willing to marry her. He asked me for my help.

It hurt, but I saw her enjoying his company so I decided to give them more time together. I started to decline every invitation to hang out with them, telling them I got tons of work in the office. I knew I was being cowardly, but the pain became unbearable when it involved her and Brent. But if I want her to be happy, I got to let go. I couldn't be selfish. I'd rather be a coward.

Unfortunately, when Brent decided to confess his love for her, he wanted me to be there to be their 'witness'. It was simply for the reason that he wanted me to share their happiness. Little did he know that he only killed me when he told her the depth of his love for her. She asked for a little time to think things over, but before that time ran out, her illness struck.

She was brought to the hospital and the doctor told us liver transplant was the only way to save her. I was about to volunteer when Brent stood up and said he was going to do it. He promised her she will live longer and will be the happiest woman in the whole world. She cried upon hearing his words. I cried too... I had no idea why.

Looking at her now wearing a wedding gown, I still felt like crying. And honestly, I still didn't know the reason why...

The surgery was successful. I was so glad. I thanked God and all the Saints and angels in heaven. And when she was well enough to throw a party, she made an announcement that broke my heart into million pieces...

"Because Brent gave me half of his life, I'm going to give him my whole life. Yes, I will marry you, Brent..."

That's what she said on the party months ago. Every word was like a sharp blade that cut through my chest, slicing my heart. Still I had no choice but to swallow the lump in my throat and smile at her. I should be happy for her... even if it meant my sorrow.

I love her. That's why I'm now broken. Yes, I love her... That's why I want her to be happy. I would go through fire and thunderstorms for her. I would sacrifice everything just for her to be happy. I could never allow her to be disappointed. And when Brent asked me to keep the truth hidden, I agreed in a daze. Anyway, the truth would just disrupt the happiness.

The truth about her liver donor...

Brent promised her his liver to save her, which, she was forever grateful. But the result of the screening test showed that his liver was not compatible with her. That's when I stepped in and offered mine. I turned out to be a perfect match so I wholeheartedly gave a part of my liver to her.

Brent was happy that Crystal survived, but he was worried that she will be unhappy somehow because he wasn't able to fulfil his promise. He felt like he failed her.

I remembered Crystal's happy tears when Brent made a promise. I didn't want that happiness to disappear. I took a deep breath and lowered my head.

"Don't worry. She will never know that it was me."

That's what I said to assure Brent. Until now, she doesn't know... And she never will.

She turned around to face me, bringing me back to the present.

"Say, Franz... Will you still be my friend even after I marry Brent?" She asked me in a voice just a bit louder than a whisper. Her voice was so sweet. I swear I would surely miss hearing it once they live abroad to where Brent's place was.

I was actually missing it already.

"Of course! You can't find a friend like me anywhere," I laughed, a little forced.

Unfortunately, she didn't laugh with me. She looked down on the floor and frowned, yet even her frown was beautiful. But she seemed troubled.

Something's wrong...

"Are you alright? Is everything okay? Do you feel pain anywhere?" I took a few steps toward her and studied her face, checking for any sign of pain. The feeling of wanting to protect her suddenly switched on.

She giggled at my reaction. I couldn't help but be embarrassed. I combed my fingers through my hair.

"Are you that nervous you decided to play a trick on me to make me nervous too?" I unconsciously rubbed the back of my neck. If I don't, I might rub her hair and ruin her looks.

"Sorry. I just want to ask you something," she shrugged her shoulders. Her eyes kept darting around, avoiding me.

"Sure! Ask me anything!" I readily answered.

"We're friends right? I mean, we're best of friends..." She stared at her fidgeting fingers.

"Yeah..?" I tried to guess what she was getting at.

"We... We've been telling each other secrets and we're good at keeping them. So I... I want to tell you something... A secret... For the last time..." She said, sounding so shy and uncertain.

"A secret?" Intrigued, I stared at her face. God, she's so gorgeous.

She nodded. "I'm going to tell you a secret for one last time... Can you promise not to tell anyone?"

"Not even Brent?" I teased her. I'm happy when she trusts me with secrets like this.

"Not even Brent," she looked down like a guilty kid who stole a cookie.

Not even Brent? I wanted to ask her why since he would become his husband in a few more minutes. She should start trusting him more. But then again, I was actually elated to be the most trustworthy person for her.

"Have I ever broken a promise? Your secrets will be safe with me forever, all of them. The toy robot of your brother Tim, which you broke because you hated him... His favorite ice cream that you ate one midnight so he would get nothing comes the morning... There were your mom's earrings that you lost... And your first crush..." I recalled some of it, making her laugh at the memories.

"Those are ages ago!" She protested.

"Yet nobody knows it until now. See? You can trust me," I assured her.

She suddenly became serious, her smile faded.

"What is it this time? Is it that terrible?" I wanted to touch her shoulder, no, hold her tight like before, but I held back. I had to.

"You see, I'm marrying Brent..." She looked away.

I almost choked. The sudden slap of reality once again reminded me of the pain I was trying to bear with a smile.

"Yeah, I know..." my voice became hoarse. I had to swallow that stupid lump in my throat again.

I already know... But why does it still hurt like I was being cut by million pieces of shattered glass?

"I'm marrying the man who gave me his liver so I can live a new life..."

I gritted my teeth. She could tell me all her secrets but I couldn't tell her mine. It wasn't fair... not fair at all.

"I'm marrying the man..." she paused, closed her eyes, as if she's trying to summon all her courage to say the next words... "I don't love."

Wait... What?

I was speechless for a moment. It seemed like the words jumbled up in my head and it came out incomprehensible.

"I don't love Brent," she repeated the words. She looked at me with a hint of sadness in her eyes.

"But you were happy being with him. I saw it every time you were together," I voiced out my disbelief.

"He's my friend, of course I enjoy his company. I laugh at his jokes and listen to his stories but I don't really love him."

Just like me, then... poor Brent. But I must admit he's luckier than me though.

I wanted to tell her it was not too late if she's going to change her mind. But knowing her, once she's committed to something, she would never back-out. She's always true to her word. She would always uphold her promise.

"Brent is a good guy. I bet you will fall in love with him in time," I told her instead; with lots of difficulties.

She turned to look out the window again, still troubled.

"And don't worry about your secrets. They're safe here with me. I won't tell anyone," I assured her once again. Not even if I die.

"My final secret..." She said in a soft voice. She didn't even turn around to look at me. It was as if she was just memorizing a line, looking far away, beyond the buildings in the distance.

There's still another one?

"I'm listening," I prodded her to continue when she hesitated.

"There's... There's someone that I... I really love..." She almost whispered the last words. Her face started to redden.

It took a few seconds before the words finally sunk in. I stared at her blushing face in a daze. After that, the pain hit home and breathing became hard.

She's in love with another man...

My mind raced... The question was, who? Could it be the new neighbor who was always greeting her every morning? Or is it one of her co-worker?

It had been years since she last told me about some guys being cool or handsome. She wasn't seeing anyone lately except Brent. I stood there stupidly, staring at her, dying to ask her who's the lucky guy, but I couldn't bring myself to ask her. Hell, I couldn't even make a sound. This painful pill was too hard to swallow.

"In an hour, I will not be free anymore. I will be Brent's wife. But my heart is restless. All I want is to say goodbye to the one I really love. It hurts..." she said as the tears started to roll down her face. She immediately wiped them with her gloved hand, making the white glove stained with her foundation and blush.

I felt her pain. No, I was in pain too. I wanted to hug her to ease her suffering; both our suffering. But I know I couldn't, so I shoved my hands deeper in my pockets.

"I really want to tell him that I love him. I want to kiss him goodbye. What do you think? Will it be bad if I tell him that I love him? I know I'm marrying Brent, and what I was thinking of doing is cheating on him. But, I'll be in a marriage where I'm not even sure if I can be happy. And that is till I die. Consider this my last wish, my last peek at happiness. I want to kiss the one I love and tell him that I love him while I'm still free. After all, I won't be able to do that once I take the vow later."

Why was she telling me this? Why was she tormenting me?

"Are you going to hate me if I do that?" She looked at me with tears still running down her face.

For a moment, I just looked at her. I tried to hide the pain. It hurts that she's marrying my cousin. And now I was bleeding inside knowing that she's in love with another man. But it's killing me seeing her being tormented like this.

"You know I can never hate you in asking for a little drop of happiness for one last time, Crystal. Maybe, I can even lend a hand," I swallowed a lump in my throat and forced a smile.

Yeah, I was going to spoil her one last time. That's what best friends do, right? I would support her in her crazy wish for the last time.

"Really? Thank you so much!" Her smile widened, her eyes glistening with tears. She's happy!

"Is he here? Is he attending the wedding?" I asked. My hands clenched tightly in my pockets.

"Yes," she whispered.

"Then go before you run out of time. Just don't run away with him, okay? Brent will cry," I tried to add some joke to make things lighter, dear but God, it felt like my life was draining every second. Any moment now I would collapse on the floor. So I wanted her to go and leave in a hurry.

That's the truth. I told her to go and tell that lucky guy about her feelings so she would leave me here alone. Brent won't be the only one who would cry. I'd been holding back my tears for quite a while now.

"Thank you, Franz," she took a few steps closer to me.

I knew what was coming. She was going to hug me as an expression of her gratitude. Then she would leave and find that lucky guy to tell him everything. Whoever he is, I don't want to know his name.

I closed my eyes and braced myself for the hug. How I wish I could freeze the time, feel her last friendly hug, and save it all in my memory. Her beautiful face, her sweet voice, her amazing scent, her warmth...

Suddenly, I wished she was my bride, not Brent's...

I felt her hands on my shoulders. Then I felt something soft and warm on my lips. I was dazed. An overwhelming feeling overtook me. It was just as it was in my dream... Yeah, that's what it should be... just a dream.

"I love you, Franz. Please take care and goodbye," she whispered before leaving me dumbfounded.

What happened? Did she really kiss me? Did she really say those words?

I turned to look at the door but she wasn't there anymore. She fled as soon as she played a trick with me while I stayed there, rooted at the spot.

She kissed me... She said she loves me... Was I the guy she was talking about?

I got to find out.

I left her room and went downstairs. I found her at the living room, standing in front of Brent. Her face was flushed, her head was down. I froze. That's when Brent saw me.

"Franz," he called. How he now looked anxious and so out of sorts, I failed to notice. Nor did I notice that everyone in the living room was silently watching them. All that was in my eyes were Crystal's sad look.

I slowly walked to where they were. I wanted to grab her shoulders and shake her, tell her not to make a joke like that.

"Franz," Brent called my attention again."

I finally heard him. I frowned when I met his eyes.

"I think it's time to tell her the truth," he told me.

"That? But..." I hesitated. Why all of a sudden?

"I was there... I was supposed to tell her that I'll be going ahead and wait for her at the church. It wasn't my intention to eavesdrop, but I heard your conversation. I realized I'm causing her grief when I just want her to be happy. I don't want to keep on deceiving her just to make her mine when she doesn't really love me. So please, tell her the truth," Brent said in a solemn voice.

"What truth?" Crystal raised her head and looked at me, suddenly demanding.

I suddenly felt guilty. I promised her I would never keep a secret from her but now I managed to keep two. I took a deep breath.

"Brent was not fit to be your liver donor," I told her.

"What do you mean? He's not my donor?" Her eyes widened with surprise.

I nodded. Brent looked away.

"Then... who was?" She turned pale.

"It was Franz," Brent answered.

Crystal took a step back I thought she swayed so I instinctively caught her. She stared at me wide-eyed.

"There's one more thing I want you to know," I told her, my hand firm on her back, my other hand caught her other hand.

"What is it?" She whispered.

"I fell in love with you since high school. Maybe even before that. But I don't want to scare you away because we were so close. I'd rather stay as your friend, as your brother, than lose you," I held her closer.

She buried her face on my chest and broke into tears. She gripped at my suit with one hand and hit my shoulder with her other fist. Yeah, maybe she's mad at me now for keeping a secret from her, so I let her hit me till she clutched at my sleeve. She could hit me till she's satisfied, but there was no way I would ever let her go.

I hugged her even tighter. That moment, we were totally oblivious of the people clapping their hands and cheering for us.