Stands.

"The Holy Grail is the Christian holy relic that received the blood of Christ, right," Archer explains.

"Yeah, we know that except for Mr. Wanna be Hero over here," said Rin pointing at Shirou beside her.

"Then, think of him as a walking talking living Holy Grail,"

"So, does that mean he can grant wishes just like the Holy Grail?" Saber asked

"Yes, but he would need to conduct a Holy Grail War for that or just sacrifice the souls of 7 servants,"

"Ok, my question. How is this guy a Holy Grail and what's the deal with the creepy spine in his back." Rin asked.

"As I said before, the Holy Grail is the Christian holy relic that received the blood of Christ and he is a Holy Grail, rings some bell." Rin realizes what Archer was trying to say, "I took you to be smarter Rin."

"But how is that even possible, I mean if it is who I think it is, then the corpse would be around for over 1900 years old, something that is not possible."

"A Saint's corpse rots slower than other corpses Rin, they are, after all, Saints and this particular one is no 'ordinary' Saint."

"I see now, it makes sense." This time Gilgamesh spoke.

"What makes sense Caster," Saber asked.

"Mystery, in this era with no Gods, the mystery isn't waning at all, more like it's increasing and the density around him particularly..." Gilgamesh paused for a second, "Is higher than even than the Age of Gods, something that doesn't make sense, even if he has the blood of Christ."

"It's as if he is a leaking pipe but instead of water he leaks mystery."

Everyone looked at Jouichirou for some answers.

"... It is because of my Stand."

"Stand?" Everyone except Shirou and Archer questioned.

"Oh! By Stand you mean that invisible thing you sometimes use in our spars." Shirou said.

"Yes, but I guess I will explain it once more. So, Stands are basically imaginary friends that help you beat up people while doing g*y poses,

"Or in big brain terms a visual manifestation of life energy, in other words, the manifestation of the soul of the user and as they appear right next to you, they are called Stands,

"And my Stand Dream has the records of 168 different Stand abilities which it can draw out at random."

"Stands can only be seen by another Stand user or a spiritual being like,"

"Servants." Rin.

"Correcto~, you get 1 point."

"But that still doesn't explain the increase in mystery part."

"Well, we are getting there, you see, among these Stand abilities there are some at the level of regular magecraft like Magician's Red's ability to control fire,

"But there are also abilities that are on the level of True Magic, like The World's ability to stop time."

"This can also however be counted as Authority."

"Makes sense now."

"And at that time you used one of these abilities to beat Archer's donkey," Saber asked and caught everyone's attention.

(A/N: Ass=Donkey and Donkey=Ass.)

"Saber what do you mean, care to explain," Shirou asked.

"In the previous Holy Grail War when he was about to die at the hands of the Archer servant of that time which was the younger version of Gilgamesh, the Saint we were talking about appeared and saved him, after which his entire persona changed and so did his Stand,"

Hearing that his younger version was beaten by his now Master Caster Gil raised an eyebrow.

"He won, overwhelming at that."

"Ah, you must be talking about Dio."

"Dio? Who is that?"

"Dio, he is a vampire, who had the Stand The World, and later ascended to Heaven and evolved his Stand to The World Over Heaven, he is the one who you saw that time."

"And his Stand ability," This time Gilgamesh asked.

"...The World over Heaven has the power to overwrite reality, and can even stop time indefinitely."

"..." They didn't know what to say except Shirou, "I want that, how can I get that." who was being Shirou.

"Well, it is pretty simple, first you need to find a Stand arrow, after which you shove it up to your ass, and wala~ you got a Stand,

"PS: After stabbing yourself with the arrow, you have a chance to become gay and get HIV making it so that your children are also gay, also if you don't have the capability of becoming a Stand user... you will just simply die."

"...Wait I have to shove it up my ass... can I... you know... shove it up my mouth instead and about the gay part... I am just gonna... ignore that ."

"You can't ignore it Shirou because for great power you need a great sacrifice, and in this case the sacrifice is sexuality. It's like you giving a handjob to a customer who asked for a blowjob."

"But wait you have a Stand... does that mean..." Shirou quickly backed off to the door ready to run at any given moment.

"Don't worry, I got my Stand from the Corpse so I am only partially gay," Jouichirou admitted himself to being gay or rather partially gay without shame.

"So that is why you tried to sit on my face this morning, and in the past grabbed my ass from time to time, and molested me, and slept in weird poses, and beat me up with a smile during spars!!!!" Shirou said traumatized and panicking.

Jouichirou had had enough of his tantrum and approached him.

"S-Stay back!" but Jouichirou didn't listen and kept walking.

"Stay back!" This time Shirou materialized two blades in his hands.

"S-Stay... Stay the hell away from me!!!" Shirou said as he pointed one of his blades at Jouichirou but then he fell to his knees. Shirou saw a steel ball on his knees.

'W-When did he.'

Shirou then looked up to see Jouichirou's fist planting on his face. He was knocked through the door and into the lawn.

'I have gone through this, and so can you my old self. Good luck.' Archer bid Shirou good luck.

While all this drama was happening Gilgamesh brought out some cold drinks along with popcorn and chips to enjoy the show. He even passed on some to the others.

----

Useless chapter, I know. It is just for comedy and relaxation since too much action isn't healthy for a story, especially during the start.

Plus I wanna take it slow for now. First Fate/Stay Night then Fate/Apocrypha then Fate/Kaleid and finally Fate/Grand Order, if you want some other stuff, added then no, because I will most likely run out of content.

Anyways, 100 Power Stones and I post 2 extra chapters. Sounds like a lot but with family, nothing is impossible or even difficult.