Sleepless Nights
The last sparks of reason flashed and went out, drowning in the abyss of lust. There was no other way for Liam to describe his feelings.
He wished, wished to his heart's content that Cal wouldn't stop... and they'd deal with the consequences later.
Cal was sure Liam had been given some powerful aphrodisiac.
There was no other way he could explain the excitement and heat in his body. He hesitated before touching Liam's holy-saints.
If he remembered this night, he'd curse him later... But he was having trouble controlling his feelings, too, and he couldn't ignore his arousal.
Justifying his undignified behavior, he gently squeezed something hot in Liam's groin. He was shaken by the young man's anguished moan that came out in response.
Never did he think something like this was possible between them. His heart was jumping out of his chest and it was very hot.
Moving closer to Liam, Cal kissed his tender neck and whispered: «You may hate me tomorrow, but tonight I'm going to give you beautiful memories.»
Liam didn't know what to answer, he was already so caught up in the process that it was too late to ask anything.
Cal gently released the hot evidence of Liam's arousal from the captivity of his clothes and gently touched them with his fingers.
It made Liam feel like he'd been struck by lightning, and all his sensations were heightened a hundredfold.
How long would it take to bring a virgin to the peak of voluptuousness? Cal made sure this happened quickly.
Barely having taken possession of him with his skilled hand, he had time to make only a few movements before he exploded violently, flooding everything indiscriminately with scalding white resin.
Cal was satisfied and took a closer look at Liam. The young man was breathing heavily, his eyes wide open. He didn't swear, didn't try to hit him, and didn't run away in a panic.
«You're a very good boy today,» Cal whispered.
Liam shifted his glassy gaze to him and asked:
«What was that just now?»
Cal faltered, feeling himself on thin ice. Instead of any answer, he cautiously asked:
«Did it feel good?»
Liam's eyes were clouded with moisture.
«Very...» He answered with sudden honesty.
Cal's heart clenched again, filled with a new dose of courage. He laid Liam down on the bed and wrapped his arms around him.
«Listen to me carefully, he said looking into his eyes, «it doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman, two people can be very nice together, you know?»
Liam nodded.
«But no one should force the other. It's important. They tried to rape you today, and they slipped a stimulating potion into your mouth.»
Liam stared at Cal with his eyes wide open. Through his hazy mind came the unpleasant thought that he'd behaved unnaturally, violating his principles not because he liked Cal... but because he'd been drugged!!!
The second thought was even more horrible: «Cal had been so... so obscenely close to him out of pity and in fact, he was still just as worthless in his eyes...»
Liam's heart shattered. Scaldingly salty rivers of tears ran down his cheeks. He pulled himself up, and Cal let go of him. With his shoulders slumped like a beaten dog, Liam cried softly on the edge of the crumpled bed.
Cal was bewildered, too. He only wanted to tell Liam that he shouldn't let someone do this to him without consent. But the young man seemed to hear something else in his morals, and it upset him.
Unsure of his feelings, Cal seemed to make contact with Liam only for a moment, but the connection was cut off almost immediately.
Simultaneously with Liam, he experienced excruciating pain inside. Something akin to a sudden loss. Like falling off a cliff with nothing to hold onto.
The seconds were running away and with them the opportunity to talk and explain himself.
Feeling shy and awkward, afraid of getting rejected, and not fully understanding themselves, the two people were beating silently in agony and did not extend their hands to each other...
«What have I done...?» One thought for two put a question mark in the tale of their tangled and ambiguous relationship.
Cal cautiously got out of bed and left the room. Liam was all tense until the door closed. After Cal left, he gave vent to his confusion and tormented himself until morning.
He was angry at his levity, reproached for his gullibility, then lashed out for his intemperance.
«Why did I give weakness and let Cal do all this? It's clear he's embarrassed and... disgusted now. I can only bring him contempt,» he scolded himself.
The righteous man knew how to whip himself, and succeeded.
Cal scolded himself, too, but in a different way.
«Do you think you're that good?» he asked himself, noisily inhaling the cold night air on the terrace of his room, «then why was Liam afraid of you and probably hated you? Wanted to fix his bitter memories of that evening?! And how do you think you succeeded?!»
Cal tossed on the bed. «You're still a miserable mutt, a no-good lowlife!» the man was hitting himself on the pain points. «You're such a fool!»
It wasn't until dawn, when the first rays illuminated their haggard faces, that they asked themselves the most important question, «How do I feel about him?» But no one could answer...
After loading their belongings into the carriage, the men sat silently across from each other and headed home. Liam tried to blend in with the couch he was sitting on, and Cal was so depressed that he couldn't speak first. If this kept up, perhaps he'd be better off going somewhere far away.
«Too awkward and painful,» they both thought.
Sometimes people don't dare to hold their souls available. Sometimes the question is too difficult and the stakes are exorbitantly high. That night the two strangers suddenly became close, their souls united in silent understanding of each other.
Of course, they were terrified. One was always concerned with getting more out of life, and the other was willing to give endlessly, up his own life. What could the two have in common?
Thinking about it, Liam came to one single conclusion. This had all happened because of the potion. He should be ashamed.
Cal had been forcibly carried away by his madness and should despise him now for the rest of his life.
Liam resolved that when he returned home he would work even harder to make the town prosper.
He will do his best to protect the weak people and try to be a good town governor. He would treat Cal with the utmost respect and never remember that night of shame.
After finally laying everything out in his poor head, Liam was able to catch a glimpse of Cal, and he seemed depressed and guilty.
«Jesus!» Liam covered his eyes with the palm of his hand. The carriage stopped in the same little town as before. During dinner, the innkeeper approached the men and, bowing guiltily, informed them that there was only one vacant room left.
«That's all right,» Liam reassured him. He wasn't going to make a scene over this unfortunate circumstance. He had already picked himself up enough to survive a night in the same room with Cal.
His calmness seemed to carry over to Cal as well, he finished his dinner more relaxed and went up to his room later. Luckily the bed was double and stood in the middle of the room, so there was easy access on each side.
The men took turns visiting the bathroom and, after changing into their pajamas, laid down respectably on each side of the bed.
They even said goodnight to each other, but it was not so easy to fall asleep. Liam could hear Cal's breathing and smell his pleasant «dear» scent.
Sensual images of the night before flashed in his brain. Fueled by hot blood, they stirred his body and soul.
Cal was not at his best. Last night had left him unsatisfied.
All it took was the slightest spark for his desire to flare up again. He had to turn on his side and force himself to think about drowned kittens and bitter burnt bread and other nonsense.
After all, Liam had done some rethinking during the night. Namely, that he... God forgive me... likes Cal.
When he realized this simple thing, he felt his world turn upside down. He'd promised he wouldn't tie his life to any woman, but what about a man...?
«Stop! You can't think of him that way, you're not good enough for him,» Liam exhorted himself.
Cal, lying on his side, didn't know whether to find a secluded spot to relieve the tension or whether it would be better to lie there and not move. Eventually, he got up and did so.
Once back in bed, he lay back down again and his mind was clear: He wants Liam?! It looked like he did.
But there's no way this man would agree to a relationship with him... At the same time as he was moaning yesterday, God... Maybe if he became more like Liam, he'd be interested in him? Cal rolled over onto his other side and met Liam's gaze.
It was too late to pretend to be asleep.
«What are your plans when you arrive,» he asked the first thing that came into his head.
«Mmm, I want to do something good for the city,» Liam answered sincerely, «and you?»
«I want to make all the money in the world and become the most powerful man in the kingdom,» Cal said.
«I see, and then what?»
Liam didn't seem to doubt that Cal would do what he wanted, but he didn't think it was a worthy goal.
«I want to find a way not to grow old and die...»
«Oh... but if your life has no meaning, would you benefit from immortality?
«Meaning isn't so hard to find, is it?» Cal said hopefully.
«Indeed it is.»
They were still choosing their words carefully so as not to say too much. Gradually fatigue took its toll. In the morning they awoke dangerously close to each other.
«One breath for two,» was the best way to describe how tightly they pressed against each other.
Liam was afraid to move. Right now he was a thief and he was shamelessly «stealing» some of the pleasure of looking this close to Cal's face.
He knew that as soon as he woke up, it would all be over.
But a little bit of it was possible... just a little bit of it... the beautiful eyebrows quivered, and Liam jumped up.
The still-sleepy Cal looked up at him regretfully.