Chapter 3: Beautifully flamed

We were in secondary school students, the second phase, the Advanced level (A-level)... soon to graduate to be exact.

That was the week before the week we sat for our finals, the same week that my birthday was on. It was the day just after our graduation ceremony and I was dreading for the day to come.

But, time never stopped for anybody.

For any normal girl out there, maybe not all, but, most of them that I know, loves those romantic dinners, dates to all of their favorite places, holding hands in public, walking together under the moonlight, side by side on the beach, cuddling by the fire, dancing their hearts out Or maybe even get to drink alcohol for the first time ever with their boyfriends watching over them.

But..., Not me. I was dreading the attention.

"We don't have enough money for that!" I reasoned even though I knew it was just an excuse . I really didn't want him to declare me as his girlfriend to his friends.

It was lunch time and the whole class went to the cafeteria. Chris came to bring me some food as he didn't see me at the cafeteria. And just like the last few days. We were on the same topic! My birthday party.

"We'll use the money I got from the garage, from my garbage collecting Toyo plus that from my street matches, How about that?" Chris asked with expectant eyes looking down at me.

He was like three inches taller than me so, you could imagine how I felt being blanketed by him.

"I'm sorry, Chris" I apologized, casting my eyes away from him.

I knew why he was so adamant to throw me that party but, I wasn't ready yet.

"Why? Why are you sorry, Beatrice?" He asked lovingly, tipping my head to look at his warm gaze again.

"Is the money not enough? Then, we'll use the one you kept for the next trimester rent, I'll know how to cover the losses, later" Suggested Chris, hopefully.

"There's not much money left on my end" I came clean.

"What? How?" Asked Chris, cocking his head sideways. Confused.

"I used it to buy you the PS, last year" I explained but, there was no change in his expression, So, I opted the next best option: Acting cute.

"it's just a birthday, baby. We can do this again next year" I said holding his hands in mine, looking up at him, batting my eyes.

"Not just a birthday, Beatrice! It's your eighteenth birthday, for goodness's sake!" He exclaimed, thrusting his hands in his perfectly groomed hair before stopping to look at me.

He was white and had a long hair as an exception. Do not fair!.

"You don't want this birthday party" he observed quietly "Why?"

"Because you'll put me at the center of attention" I replied without hesitation.

"No, I won't! Maybe show you off to my friends once or twice... Ooh, now I get it" He said taking a sit on the table pulling me to stand between his legs playing with a tail of my plated hair.

"I don't want us to go public, yet" I said in a whisper.

"What? The whole fucking school knows we are together! What's wrong with stamping on their assumptions?" He asked, incredulously.

"I'm not comfortable, yet" I answered. But, more than being uncomfortable I didn't want him to be humiliated by dating me.

I was being stupid.

"Do you even love me, Beatrice? Or are we together now because I helped you out back then?" He asked, after some silence later. He hide his face on the side of my neck.

"Of course, I love you! But..." I started only to be interrupted by him.

"But?!" He chuckled bitterly before helping me out of his way so he could stand again.

"Save it. Call me when you are done with your studies" He said casually just as any normal day but, I knew better, he was angry beyond measures.

"You are going for rehearsals or football practice?" I asked for the sake of conversing.

"See you later, Beatrice" He said before leaving me alone looking at his sad departing back.

"Wow..., and the witch pissed off the prince. The end...Damn! I like the sound of that" Came Bertha's soft voice from where I saw off Chris, clapping her small hands in delight.

"Leave the girl alone, Bertha!" Reprimanded our class monitress, sending me pity eyes my way.

"Let us take a laugh at that Miriam, she always act so high In front of us" Some girl sneered at me.

"The b*tch got dumped" Said another girl, cheering.

"Another one!" Bertha started the chant.

"Another one!" And they replied, fervently. It was so lively.

"Stop you guys...!" I heard Miriam scolding them.

I ignored them and returned to my studies. At least those books understand me and my anxiety.

"What? Too proud to talk?" Pested Bertha and I blocked her out with my earphones connected to the ipod.

That wasn't allowed in school nor is the food on my desk but...Rules were meant to be broken. I guess.

"Listen to me well, proud queen..., Just to be fair, Here's the heads up: I'm gonna hook up with your man and there's nothing you are gonna do about it" She gloated, after pulling my earphones out so forceful that they hurt my ears.

The crowd cheered with so many hurtful murmurs my way.

I wanted to reply to her but, I knew I'd only say something to embarrass myself at that crowd. I'm that bad with strangers. So, I ignored them. again.

"Then, don't cry if you see me dancing with him tomorrow night...by the beach" She said, turning to leave. Swaying her hips seductively. She was everything I wasn't.

Slender with curves in all the right places, smart, beautiful, rich and most of it, she was confident in her own skin.

'They'll look so perfect tomorrow' I thought, picturing him and her on the dance floor.

"Ignore her" Miriam said, walking to her seat, so as the rest. Leaving me alone at last.

***

That day I took longer than necessary at the library. Not really reading anything there. Just flipping through the story books till ten at night, it was late enough. I then collected collected my stuff to go home.

All I wanted was a peace of mind but...No! There he was, kissing some random girl he probably noticed that day, by the wall. He really was mad at me, if he decided to do that to get back at me.

I really didn't want to walk up to them. But, my feet was there faster than I could tell them not to.

Since I was there already. I decided to pat him on his shoulder.

"I think she's cold" I pointed at the girl's opened shirt with my stretched hands holding a school jacket, after he turned to me with a mocking smirk.

And guess who he was kissing?

Yeah, the one and only perfect Bertha!. She's fast, I gave her that.

"I'm actually beautifully flamed, thanks for worrying" She said, breathlessly and I didn't want to humiliate myself more so, I left them there without another word than 'Dont let me stop you' or a glance their way.

I wasn't just angry. I was also dissapointed, it wasn't our first fight about it but, for him to use a woman like that? Just to spite me?. That wasn't him.

And to use my worst insecurity against me? That was pure evil!.

"Beatrice!" He shouted my name in anger. It was already night, and there was no one in sight except us. They were either in classes or already asleep. Even a whisper was loud at that moment.

"You need something, Chris?" I inquired, calmly after turning to them.

"Wear, your jacket for the love of God!" Seethed Chris at me, forsaking the stunned Bertha. Whose shirt buttons were all opened by Chris, seemingly.

I was holding the the pale blue school jacket. I wasn't feeling cold enough to wear it but, it was a cold season...

"You said nothing about the weather, when you stripped Bertha naked like that" I pointed out casually before turning to leave.

Okay, yeah. I was a little bit jealous. And hurt!.

Chris didn't even want to kiss me before I turned sixteen and now, seeing him kissing somebody else who was everything I wanted to be, hurts. A lot.

"You really don't love me, do you?" Chris asked with a sigh. Resigned. Making me halt in my steps.

I turned to him, looking at his defeated posture... "Let's take Bertha to her dorms before we go home, how about it?" I suggested and he looked back at the said Bertha apologetically, before nodding slowly to me.