I walked back into the living room and sank into the cushion, feeling totally sad and depressed. The house suddenly feels empty just like the feeling rising in the pit of my stomach.
I pushed it back and picked up the TV remote and flick it on and began to scroll through a lot of uninteresting program one after the next.
I just knew I was wasting my time because almost everything was starting to pretty much look like a blur.
I got tired after a while and decided to settle for a Korean drama about some guy getting his heart broken over a love that was not meant to be in the first place, totally reminding me of my situation with Ryder.
It's just fucking crazy.
I totally want to love him like my heart is telling me to but yet I still can't help but loose my senses thinking about this other things and how my decision can cause them pain and the thought of it alone is driving me nut, especially now that I can't seem to get him out of my thought for even a nanosecond.