A Regretful Leader

Yukawa rushed towards me and holds my hand away from Manabu. I can see his eyes that don't blink for long. When he holds my hand, even if I don't want to think about it, my body tensed a bit.

"What are you trying to say to her, Manabu? If you're going to say something to her, you're gonna get through me," Yukawa shouted. This is the first time I've seen him lose his calm.

"Too bad. I already delivered what she needs to hear," Manabu replied. "You're never gonna hear a word of trust from me, Yukawa, not since what you did back then."

"A love triangle? No, maybe a threesome quarrel," Rise and her group joined the conversation. "What you just three did makes you all suspicious."

Yukawa came back to his calm self as he let go of my hand. "What did you talk about?" Yukawa whispered with his deliberately lowered head while staring at me.

"I… uhh…" I tried my best to smile but I didn't expect it to stiff as I lose it. I'm sure he already noticed that. "Don't worry. I don't trust a thing that he said."

The silence I gave him after made me more suspicious. In response, I unconsciously diverted my eyes away from him.

"That's a given, Saori. You should never trust anyone anymore other than me," he said with a serious tone and left.

He went to the back of the room and picks ups the small dropbox stuck in the cabinet. That box is the first thing that caught his attention the moment we came into this room. "We can do voting with this, else you have any other ways to pick our suspect."

Yukawa continues after the people's silent response. "I'll state the rules of our voting. We can drop each other's votes in here so that we can practice confidentiality. We can only vote two different people. One or none is also allowed. After everyone has entered their votes, I'll announce the person who will be tied up."

"But… what about Hirarin?" I asked but without maintaining eye contact with Yukawa.

"I already have her vote here," he replied while holding a slip of folded paper. "I already prepared pen and paper for all of us. As you can see, this is the first paper that will enter here. With this, we can start our voting process."

"Are you sure that box doesn't have anything more inside it?" Manabu asked.

"I cleared it the moment I saw it. May I advise anyone to clear the chairs from the front so we can use the whiteboard for tally? We'll start afterward."

Just like Yukawa said, the voting happens after the cleanup. Everyone formed a line in front of the middle table, where Yukawa and the dropbox are. I am the first in line. We all kept our votes covered with our hands to avoid holding grudges against each other.

After five minutes, Yukawa initiated the announcement of results by shaking the dropbox. We are all in the distance as we stare at the box with cold sweats. The first vote didn't turn out as expected. It was a paper with a single vote, only my name, on it.

The announcement took longer than usual. After than, I went to the store room. Hirari is still gaunt, sitting in the corner of the room with a bent neck while hugging her knees. Her wet and red eyes vacantly stare down her hands with infrequent blinking.

I brought her the water with my drawn eyebrows. She seems not even to notice me; no reactions at all. She didn't take the water I brought her. I only sat down beside her because of worried, and my words can't penetrate her ears.

I just realized that her breaths are shallow, and it's too painful to compare to an athlete that experiences over-fatigue. Funny and jolly Hirari that showed up the first day now vanished. It feels like I've seen the real side of her life.

After a small silence, I heard her voice that lacks vitality. "You aren't roped. What happened?"

"Hirarin… I…"

"I'm alright, Saori. Don't worry about me."

"Yukawa, Manabu, and Rise tied. We can't choose any of the suspects. The arguing took longer than the election. I just finished stopping them. Yukawa said he'll think of another method to finish this madness."

"I see…"

"Hirarin…"

"Saorin, do you wanna hear a story?" Even with circles in her eyes, she still tries to smile in front of me.

"Hirarin…" I stuttered with watery eyes.

"I think my past nightmares brought me these things, these pain. I'm an idiot for asking why I deserve these when I already knew the answer in the first place."

"Hirarin, you're not one. Nothing's your fault. This is someone's fault why we're here. Don't blame yourself."

"No. I might be a famous person, flooded with appreciation, but I paid with that for a huge price in my life. I once longed for appreciation back then. The Hirari you knew, the dumb and happy athletic person, there's no such people exist.

"My real family isn't an ideal one, nor what you call a proper family. We're slaves, and we're always looked down. I always longed for their appreciation, but no matter how hard I tried, I always got beaten up. That time, I'm still happy, blinded by the reality of the world, and yet I still consider pain my appreciation.

"My little brother was also the same, but unlike me, he's the one who's telling me to escape that place he considered 'hell'. I ignored him as I reason him the idea of 'family' but the family he knew is different from mine.

"I can still feel my body full of cuts and wounds. Even if I tried to stand, my legs were fully trembling. That time, my eyes were also as red as it is now, but I'm smiling wide, from cheek to cheek. I still tried my best to get the attention of my mother, but that certain day…

"When I looked at that room, a pool of blood was already on the floor, next to my beloved brother, Kasu. It was my dark-looking mother holding a bat in front of him. My mind went blank and I became terrorized. In order to accept the reality, one should experience pain," Hirari narrated with continuous tears flowing out her eyes.

"Hirarin… don't be too negative on yourself. Maybe you're just thinking like that because of our situation, but we will get through this," I said trying to comfort her.

"I'm a selfish person who's looked down for her whole life, and now, I'm looked up by my fellows. But at what cost? My humanity and my blood-tainted hands. I also learned the real meaning of family. Saori, you shouldn't trust anyone anymore, including me. This person beside you… killed her own mother."

The moment I heard it, I froze to death with the chilled air that suddenly appeared beside me. But then I realized that exact same situation seems familiar. That is why I don't feel much scared when she talked about it.

"I'm not scared of whatever you say, Hirarin! I think if I were in that situation, I might feel the same as you. I might have done the same thing too!" True, but mine are much worse than hers. "Cheer up, Hirarin! Once we got out here, you'll still always be my big sister!"

I don't know if my words hit her, but even if her tears are all out of her face, she still smiled at me. She suddenly took the drink that I made her. Maybe she'll go back to normal.

"Thanks for the warming words, but I already accepted my fate days ago. A sinner needs to be punished. Whoever might do that to me, I'm thankful."

"Hirarin… Don't talk like that," I cried.

"If you're crying right now, then maybe reality give you a harsh lesson. 'Reality', the word sticks into my mouth. That simple concept might contrast truth and lies, but in fact, it's mixing them, homogeneously.

"I don't know what will happen next to me, Saori, but you will surely survive this. But there is a tip that I needed to give you.

"After you found the first hunter, stay away from Yukawa."

"W… What are you saying all of a sudden? Are you doubting Yukawa?" I asked with my dilated eyes.

"No. He promised me not to tell anyone what we've talked about earlier, but my two votes are absolutely right."

Does he think Yukawa is the hunter? Manabu also suspects him too. "I… I don't think he might be the type to kill someone. He's trying his best to help us escape this game."

"Is that so?" She doubted and drinks the glass bottle that I gave her. "I can't say anything more about him, but to you…

"You're pretty creepy."