A painful Goodbye

My May self will be happy. William is finally hers. She will be a happy girl.

But my current self will be ridden with guilt, confusion, and devastation. I waited to feel all that when I got back to my hotel room. But those feelings never came. I was rather still in a daze, shocked by what transpired between me and William. And wanted it to happen again.

What about my sister? What about Chris? The answer is I don't care I want William so badly and I don't care anymore. I don't care I'm hurting them. I just want William to touch me forever.

What changed? On Thursday I wanted my sister to be happy and vowed to stay away from William to ensure they get married.

William just had to touch me for me to lose my sense of reason, for me to bury away the love I have for my boyfriend and sister.

For my selfishness to show its ugly head.

He just had to touch for me to turn my world into chaos.