The War ending

Well, I've read all the way through to the most recent update, that being chapter six. And other than updating often, I cannot say anything is good about this book. That's not to say that there's no potential, or anything like that, as there is. I'll come back to that later. The grammar in this book is just horrible. First off, do not use numbers in place of words. (Example: 17 years old --> Seventeen years old) Next, do not give us the location like this: "The home" This is not the correct way to give a location. Do something more like this: "Meanwhile, back at x's house." You also need to space your paragraphs and your dialogue. Do not deliver multiple lines of dialogue from separate characters in the same paragraph. Example:( "Hello, X" Y said as he shook X's hand. "Nice to meet you, Y") Then you continue from there, spacing out each person's dialogue, along with whatever else you want to put after that, be it an action or description or whatever. Also, you need to work on your descriptions, as your descriptions are quite boring as of now. Use stronger words, and then work your sentence structure. Now, there's a lot more wrong with this story, and most of that stems from the story itself. How? Well, it's an absolute mess. Not only is there no foreshadowing for anything that happens, the story is filled with random events that don't feel connected in the slightest. You move way too fast, and we never get any kind of connection or understanding of the characters. And that's with six chapters to get to know them. We have little to no background on the world, and things just happen with no rhyme or reason behind them. For example, the ending of the first chapter proves pretty much all my points. To avoid spoilers, the ending comes out of nowhere and not in a good way. The dialogue is not very good, and most of it involves pointless swearing. So, how could it be improved? Well, one could start by slowing down a little bit, and giving the reader some time to get to know the characters and world. Next, descriptions and dialogue could be improved. There are tons of videos and resources out there that can help. Finally, Grammar needs some massive tune ups. Grammar isn't just spelling, it's also sentence structure and spacing and punctuation. Would I recommend this story to anyone? Not as it is right now, so no. 2.0/5

This book hits the ground running. Two twins find out that they belong to another world and are pulled into a world they never expected. The language and grammar are typical WN quality. The story is not far along, but the training of the twins is setting up to make for very strong warriors when the battle finally comes. Good work, author!

Your book was well written There weren't any gramatical and punctuale problems I would advise you to not write the location like e.g like you did with "the home" or "the room" Instead of doing that you could describe the location and build atmosphere, give some imagery of how the location looks. The story is pretty intriguing and the twins are interesting and pretty likable And it was pretty good all in all Just build more atmosphere for situations and give more expressive dialogue for the characters to make them more unique

Well, this waS a nice Journey at it all, I appreciate everyone that read and gave reviews on this im truly indebt to your help. But as for now what i plan to do is to have another go and rewrite it. Of course i have better ideas ahead so im remaking it. This project will be dubbed as completed andi will be making a new one on the way. So watch out for it

Eh yo i forgot to mention i like the mc’s It quite’s clear to see the creator take a lot from anime in which we all can agree and the synopsis says something about gods so i hope to see that more

Honestly just an alright novel but it does need help grammatically but its still pretty good in terms of plot and World building. Imnot one to read novels though so it took me awhile to finish.

i like the use of the Babylon. the names are also cool. just be careful with the grammar lapses. (sorry!) there were too many and i have to over look them.

Honestly the book is pretty great, I wouldn’t say it’s the best as with all the grammatical errors but if you get past that I think there is a good novel there

I am currently on second chapter .. so this can be considered as an early review, but this story honestly looks like an Anime Series plot. The pace of the story is smooth and it's easy to understand the setting of the worlds. Looking forward to Kean and Kinea's adventures in the world of monsters :) ^^

the writing quality was bad: just read chapter 1 and you would know... I advise you to not write the place like this ON THE ROOM or something describes it next plot. the plot was confusing since the author's writing style is different...

So far so good story nice pacing and nice plot, I am looking for more chapters this story will rise and the writer did a fantastic job, keep up your good work