"I felt it too," he said, words barked out from his mouth like an order. She knew Elysian like this, like the king he was. "I know what it's like—"
"I guess that's why you left me alone, right?" Her eyes caught his, searching and there was a rush then of something strange. A stumble back as he blinked, speechless and growing quiet. The corner of her lips lifted. "You wanted to punish me. No," the words tumbled from her lips, hitting too close to her heart, "you didn't want to touch me."
"It's not what you think—"
"It's fine," she dismissed, fingers waved, a strong sense of glee flooding her at the despair in his eyes. "I'm thankful, truly." A flash of hurt flickered across his face, vanishing as quickly as it came. He went silent, studying her, biting down his frustrations with a glare. Her heart fluttered uselessly, a moment spent to drink him all in – long silky locks in a messy bun, high cheekbones, crystal eyes. A haunting throb of her heart, like an awful sickly crush.
It was odd that for a moment she didn't want to see him, to face him. She wanted him gone. A rush of self-conscious negativity flooded her soul, a dart of worry stretching through her mind like poison. The memory of Zen's retreating back — so wide, so cold, it flooded her mind, and a shudder erupted over her skin. The jolting imagery of the five men turning to leave, not bothering to speak to her, not giving a flying fuck whether or not she'd die confused and alone. The coldness in Solar's voice, in Klaus's voice.
Motherfuckers.
Why the fuck did she put herself through that? Why did she expect them to change? That the kisses, the touches, the orgasms, meant something more, something that tasted like love? She put herself in them, had buried herself in fake love. Fake love that had turned into something that felt too real, too awful when they'd snatched it all up, crushing her heart into smithereens. Gods, she was the idiot. Quinn knew that. And now Elysian regretted his decision to mate with her. It was probably because she wasn't worth it. It was because she wasn't good enough as a Beta, as an Alpha, as a woman —
Icarus moved, moulding himself against her body, chest to her back. He settled against her, and she experienced then the gentle ghost of his fingers trailing down her arm, the soothe of his thumb making circles on the surface of her hand. He sensed her distress, and like a lover, had decided to wrap himself around her like a shield. She flinched and he purred.
She caught the look in his eyes, a haunted sort of understanding, an unwavering needy gaze. "Quinn," he said, and she was comfortably wedged against him, so protected her heart seemed to squeeze. Her mind reminded her that this was the man who kissed her slow and filthy with tongue, who spent time kissing her the way lovers should. "You'll be fine." She flushed, suddenly so warm inside she felt almost breathless. "He's not going to fuck you up when I'm around."
"I know," she answered. His lips were still swollen, and she knew them spit-slicked and glossy, gasping softly upon an oddly kitten-like face. A swell of his cock, tenting in his pants, but never placed upon her like a rutting animal. He inhaled softly, gently.
"We're not like them."
"I know that."
"I got you," Icarus said, head nudged towards Elysian. The startled look in Elysian's eyes flashed— a sign of hurt, a dance of pain. Their closeness seemed to affect him, and Icarus hissed. "Don't fuck it up."
"Icarus, I—"
"She has the right to be angry," Icarus snapped. "You and I both know what it was like to be fucked and thrown in a fucking corner like a used toy. Quinn does not deserve that, she deserves better from you." Elysian's brow lifted, knotting into one of despair. He exhaled.
Elysian wrung his hands, exasperation stark in his eyes. "I'm sorry I left you alone," he nodded, playing with his fingers, eyes glued to Icarus's hand on hers, a crook on his brow. "I wasn't thinking. I know, I know fucked up. I was just…"
"Being a fucking pussy," Icarus growled against her ear, bristling. Desire bolted up her spine, washing over her at the squeeze of his fingers on her hand. "I made him remember what he was missing." And how easily she sunk into him, allowed herself to be held in his arms, to relax into his touch. Her eyes danced to Elysian, to his eyes, pupils dilating into a void of darkness, a bob of his throat from a thick swallow. A note of arousal, sweeter than ever permeated the air along with a jolt of something sour. Jealousy.
Quinn grinned, heart fluttering, smirk growing. "Of course you did."
"If he wanted to bite you, he should have stayed," Icarus sneered. "Fucking idiot."
Quinn closed her eyes, then stared at Elysian, allowing her stupid fucking kindness to enter her heart. "Are you okay?"
The shock flashed in Elysian's eyes, a dart of confusion. A dance of warmth. His surprise was odd as if he never expected the question. A smile stretched across his face. "Yes?"
"Klaus," she toyed with the name on her tongue, "did he rip you a new asshole?"
The bark of laughter from Icarus was heady, a dreamy rush that vibrated across her skin. "We've got immunity with our wounds. We're both too weak for a fight. They won't touch us. Not even our pack Omega."
"They're all still mad?" Quinn nodded. "I figured; they wouldn't want you mated to someone like me. And now that you need me for your Heat, it must feel awful."
"No," Elysian pursed his lips and shook his head violently. "It's not about that. They were concerned over other things. We talked about our differences. I do not regret my decision to mark you as my mate." He flushed. "I was simply giving us the space and time to understand it. But I suppose I was afraid of what this new connection might result in, what it meant for our pack, so I left you alone while I worked things out with my pack."
"Right."
"Elysian's not lying," Icarus's voice was sharp. "They're just—" He waved his hands. "Debating."
"Debating, about what?"
"Our future."
"You mean the contract," Quinn said. "You don't have to worry about that, I still plan to leave."
Elysian cut in then. "What?" The flash of alarm danced in his eyes. "But we're mates—"
"You have enough to hold you up. Six men."
"You might not be capable of withstanding the bond, it burns to be away from your mate—"
"You say this now after you've left me alone for days."
Elysian had the audacity to look scandalised, a flush of shame rising up his cheeks. "I…I was sorting out their differences. It would not benefit you if they did not understand my position. I needed them to understand that I wasn't choosing sides…That I wasn't—" His voice caught in his throat. Quinn sighed, unable to truly push him. She knew what he meant, what she represented. Another person in their haven. Another lover.
She smiled. She was a fucking mistress. "I know. I know they hate me."
Icarus's voice was cutting through the air then. "No, they don't."
"They let me die," she smiled. "I thought, I'd be okay with death because I cared for you both. I care for your pack; I didn't want to see the pain and suffering. But thinking back now? They didn't even say goodbye."
"Fuck," Icarus hissed.
"You'd think they'd at the very least, talk to me." Quinn scrubbed her face with her hands. "I was treated like a pet, like someone they thought should die." She frowned. "Is this what they've always wanted in the first place?" Her words seemed to startle them, a strange look frothing in their eyes. A startled pause, and then a roar of desperation.
"No, no."
Elysian stammered out a response. "Of course not. It was just hard for them; they couldn't bear to face it. To kill someone as innocent as you are."
Quinn smirked. "Rowan, mouthing a word of apology to me was all I got from them." Quinn shook her head, fingers laced. "It's depressing to say that I liked them." Her smile was odd, twisted. "Now I don't. I think I'm over it. I'm so fucking stupid," she nibbled on her nails, teeth snagging at flesh. "I should have known this would happen, I mean I did, but fucking hell, it was so hard not to like them when I had to be intimate with them to survive. I was just fucking grasping at whatever physical affection I could fucking get, and at some point, they were being nice. And now I'm burnt into hell."
Elysian's face was pale. "Quinn…"
Icarus cleared his throat. "Shit," he muttered. "You know, Zen's—"
Quinn snarled. "Please don't say his fucking name like it means something to me. I've had enough of everyone thinking I'm fucking in love with Zen from day fucking one. I've always known deep inside where I was in his heart—nowhere." She gave him a look. "How many more days until I've got the rest of your pack in my room trying to eat me?"
Icarus choked then, snuffling it in his palm. "The fuck?"
"In the process of trying to kill me, I believe they've forgotten they've hired me to eat." Quinn shrugged, hands down. "It's been a while. Surely, at this point, it's not because I taste awful due to my emotions."
"They drained you dry for us, of course, they won't be here," Elysian told her, a look of panic rising into his eyes.
"I guess," Quinn nodded. "They do have some morals. But you're both on your feet, and I am more than capable."
"You're angry," Icarus observed.
"Just realising that none of you need me as much as you say. It's not really about the food, is it? The sustenance my body brings? The feelings I feel? Those blood bags you make from women are filled with fear and anxiety. It'd taste like shit, but it will still work. " Quinn spun on her heels then, facing them, leaving Icarus's embrace. "You could take another Alpha's blood. Another Alpha's body. It didn't have to be me, that's why they allowed me to die. I guess I knew I was unnecessary."
There was a growl now from Icarus's throat. "What are you getting at?"
"I'm not wanted, they aren't interested in me anymore. None of them have come looking for my services. I shouldn't be here. You don't need me."
Elysian blinked. "They want you, they do, but they are guilty. And what about us? We need you. I need you—"
"Interesting," Quinn pondered his words. "Guilty for sending me to die." She nodded solemnly. "I thought they were beyond that."
Icarus let out a low scoff. "They're assholes, but I have to put in a good word. They do try. I promise you, they are suffering in their heads."
"For you, I won't push it, but I don't believe you. No, them keeping quiet about my death? That needed fucking determination. They truly wanted me to die. I thought about it. And it felt like they wanted to get over it, to get over me. It was like they thought my death was inevitable which is fucking weird. Is it inevitable?"
"Quinn…" There was a startled look in Icarus's eyes, a sheen of fear that she sort of hated. "T-that's not true." She tried not the notice the shake in his voice, the way it seemed to betray some kind of emotion that she didn't like. But Quinn was too much on a warpath to dissect and read into his truth.
"Maybe I don't want to be the blood bag anymore. Maybe I'd like to find another job. I was a decent scavenger, surviving the Lonely." Quinn shrugged. "I'm good at what I do. I could help out with that research. Try to figure things out, try to work out what makes them break, what makes them tick." Icarus's eyes flashed.