Netherian

Amoria is usually my happy place when I'm not stuck in the city of perpetual gloom. I'm tired, physically and emotionally, and it's hard for me to concentrate on anything else but the song.

As I walk towards the castle, every step I take on the wide cobbled streets seems to get heavier. I realize my body must be falling asleep, making me sluggish in the game. But I shake my head and try to fend off sleep.

María's words echo in my mind.

Amoria is the only thing I do. And so far, I've made a mess of everything since I got the Neural X. I'm wholly unprepared to play the game in virtual reality, I'm falling back on my sales, and I haven't even learned how to activate the stupid golden pass. The tournament is my one chance to prove that I can do something right.

All the wrong questions to ask yourself while you're trying to cheer up start to fill my head. What am I doing with my life? Why did we have to lose everything in the goddamned flood? What would my life would be like if that hadn't happened? Is the flood to blame for making me so detached to the real world, or am I using it as an excuse to hide because I can't deal with life?

I start to wander off, and I almost walk into one of the white lampposts that decorate the streets. A soft ding brings startles me, and I look around, trying to figure out where the notification came from. Nothing pops up in my vision. Then I freeze, remembering what that sound was for.

Someone has logged into the game. That someone is the only name in my friend's list beside my alt.

The light blue text of a private message appears towards the left corner of my vision.

Netherian: Stormborn?

I freeze, unsure of what to do. Of all days he decides to return to the game, he had to pick today? I had once said I'd never speak to him again, but I don't know why I never erased him from my friend's list. I'm not sure how to type without a keyboard, so I just whisper my answer. The text appears on the chat interface and I wave my hand to the 'send' icon.

Stormborn: What do you want?

Netherian: Oh

Netherian: I thought you blocked me.

Stormborn: If I had blocked you, you wouldn't be able to talk to me.

Netherian: Why didn't you?

Stormborn: I forgot you were even there.

Netherian: Everything has changed.

Yes, you can't imagine how, I almost say.

But he's referring to the game.

I continue to walk towards the castle, picking up my pace. All the sluggishness I felt before is gone. Back in the real world, heart is about to explode in my chest so hard that can almost hear it pumping. Why is he back? Did I secretly want him to play again?

No. I'm not the person I was two years ago.

Netherian: What are you doing in Ilunta?

Stormborn: None of your business. What do you want?

Netherian: Ok.

Another soft ding rings, notifying me that Lucas, also known as Netherian in game, has logged off.

Now I start running towards the castle. I want to start this quest as soon as I can, before the Neural X runs out battery. And before I go crazy trying to figure out what I feel.

It's been two years since I've spoken to Lucas. Two years since I told him to fuck off and never speak to me again. He probably just logged in because of the tournament, or because he wanted to see how the final update to the game has affected the gameplay. But if he hasn't played in two years, why would he even care?

I soon reach the entrance to the castle, where two guards barely look at me as I walk in. I've been here before many times, while questing at the first five levels. I remember a specific quest where a guide gave you a tour of the palace and, in order to succeed in the mission, all you had to do was find your way out.

The structure is made of white stones and marble, to contrast it with its dark surroundings. My footsteps echo through the empty halls as I make my way into the throne room. I pass some NPCs clad in red bulky armor, but they don't even look in my direction.

A servant walks out of a room, closing a dark brown door behind him. He gets startled at seeing me, but then he lowers his head and walks in my opposite direction. I'm beginning to think I'm lost, when I remember that the easiest way to the throne room is walking straight from the entrance, past the enormous receiving hall, and through the doors.

I'm not thinking straight, I realize.

Soon I'm back at the entrance hall, and I open the doors to the throne room. The tall ceiling is covered in glass, so anyone inside can see Esan's gift.

The throne room is just as grand as the entrance hall, but the glass behind the chair where Esan should be is right next to the waterfall. The water cascades down the glass, forming a moving curtain behind his chair. This is the only room in all of Ilunta that gets any sunlight, even if it's filtered by the water falling down to the sea of Tristura.

But Esan is not here.

If I had a map, I could pinpoint exactly where that stupid prince is in this pristine stupid castle, and I could start stupid the quest before leaving. But I didn't even remember to buy a map, because there's just no way I'll get something right today. I walk over to the throne and slump onto it.

The door opens, and an NPC walks in.

"Sorgin!" he says, and the Neural X shuts off without a warning.

I'm back in the darkness of my real-world bedroom.