Part Five/ Joy

Lines of Lust;

Astra/Joy; Attraction from different times

Astra/

The gym Cait pulled me to was not terrible it felt good to work my body again. It's been so long since I did any exercise other than running for miles every day. But even if I enjoyed it life always called me back and work was calling me. One of my many part-time jobs had a callout so I was being pulled to cover the shift. I didn't get many jobs from this company but when I did the pay was great so I could never turn it down. From the message, it seems the stores closed till tomorrow's big event and one other person will be helping me get it ready for tomorrow. The pay was even being doubled so I accepted hastily and found myself rushing off to get started. When I moved into the area I made friends with a lot of store owners and workplaces which let me get set up for constant work. To be honest it was always a distraction from my life so I buried myself beneath everything I could.

When I arrived I called out to see if the other person was there yet but only silence filled the space. After I found the work order list of what was needed I decided to get started ahead of the other person. This store's storage room was a little hot so I took off my shirt leaving me in the morning running clothing gear plus it was more functional. Moving things we would need to one side of the room made the most sense so we could just set up everything. Only thirty minutes in and the person still hadn't arrived so I put on some music to help speed me along. I couldn't help dancing to the beat that played as I got the work done more quickly than before. Just as I was getting lost in the sound of the beat a whistle startled me giving the feeling that I would have a heart attack felt real.

"If I knew coming to work early got me a show I would have come sooner... Oh, shit Astra?"

"Joy?"

I wasn't expecting her to be the one working with me today and I was far from ready. I felt like a deer in headlights and yet I felt that childish anger rising inside of me, I just wanted to cry. Why did I have to see Joy of all people?

"Hey, it's good to see you been a while... How are you doing"

She was trying hard to be casual and break the tension I know we both felt. But I couldn't control this childish anger from wanting to be free.

" Yeah fine..."

We worked in silence but the tension was growing between us, I thought I would choke on it. So I tried to be calm and talk to her like the adult I'm expected to be.

"How you doing Joy.?"

"Honestly?.... Better now than a few moments ago"

"Better now?"

"Yeah, I got to see you so the day got better. What more could anyone ask for."

How can she be so casual and talk like nothing happened between us when that's far from the truth. Am I the only one holding onto childish past problems?

"You shouldn't joke around all the time Joy..."

"I never am when it comes to you."

"Enough Joy... We are not friends or did you forget just how much I hate you still.?"

"How could I forget you made it clear as day for me to know. But that didn't change anything for me, I know how I felt then... Let's just get work -"

" Then why did you go after Cait?... If I had mattered why didn't you just come to me and speak up. Why were you such a Coward back then..."

" You never saw me Astra and the time you did was when I dated Cait. We ran together but you never looked at me, what chance did I have."

"If you cared then why would you take Cait from me... Why would you be that-"

" Cruel... Funny how that works when you think about it Astra. You wanted Cait and Cait wanted me but I wanted you. You hate me because I had what you wanted but it wasn't what I wanted... She didn't deserve you, still doesn't "

"Just stop..."

I don't know why I was letting my childish side start showing but it hurts still. Now I'm here crying because she's right.

"I never asked for anything Joy... I didn't care about my parents leaving me or my brother just forgetting me. I didn't ask for friends to care about me. I just asked for a chance to be with Cait and yet I was denied. It's not fair, I hate it."

I was a crying mess and somewhere along the way, her arms were around me holding me close. I trembled in her arms as she whispered to me trying to soothe my tears away. The way her hand ran along my back was calming me down for some reason it felt good to be held. But the one thing I can't ignore is that Joy has always wanted me and maybe that's why I feel calm being held by her. My emotions are a mess and I wasn't ready to deal with this part of my past at all. But I clung to her hoping to be anchored to something before I drowned in the mess I created. Her words repeated in my ear softly and deep down I know she was right, Cait didn't deserve me. I know that now but it still hurts to accept that reality.

"I just wanna feel wanted Joy...she was the only person I felt connected to."

Just as those words left my lips Joy had pulled back to kiss me and electricity shot through me. I was surprised by her forwardness but what was that feeling just now. If I wasn't alive before I think that jolt may have brought me to the edge of living again.

"Can you bring me back to life... Joy."

A strange request but something inside of me came alive the moment she kissed me. Her lips felt so familiar yet I never kissed her before, it's like that story I once read. Star-crossed lovers will travel time to always be together, but that is just a story right.