Chapter 4

Finally, I can go home. I have never wanted to go home as much as I do right now. I'm beyond tired, especially now after my encounter with Jason. I could just be feeling a little bit paranoid but it kind of feels like someone is watching me now. For some reason I can't shake the feeling.

I make it halfway down the street when all of a sudden, I hear someone honking behind me. I turned around to see if it was directed at me and next thing, I know Jason is hoping out of a small little hatch back. I tried my best not to laugh, he's just so muscular. I guess I would imagine him coming out of something a bit manlier. God that sounds terrible to say, but I just don't think that little car does him justice? I guess.

"Hey!"

God his voice is like honey, I don't know why he has such an effect on me. His voice makes my body ache, it's like my body is craving his touch. And I am loving it.

"Hi."

I spoke while looking down at my feet not wanting to look him in the eye. His stares are intense and honestly it scares me a little bit with how he makes me feel.

"Do you want a lift? I can give you a ride if you want, it's a little bit chilly outside."

"Um, sure, I guess. Thank you."

I look back up at him and he has this stupid childlike smile plastered on his face. It's adorable really, who could say no to that face?

"Awesome! This way my lady your chariot awaits."

I could help but laugh at this cheesiness coming through. He really is not what I expected. When I first heard about Jason, he to me sounded like this big playboy that got all the girls. But maybe I was wrong.

He seems really sweet, but maybe this will be better as a one-off thing. People that hang around me, well it never ends well for me. Or them. My one friend I managed to make in middle school found out about my parents and for some reason, she turned against me and even used it to bully me. I guess being popular was more important to her than actual friendship because she sold me out to get. She kept telling me I was trash and that I didn't deserve to live. And the worst part is by the end of it all I was starting to believe her. That I was worthless and that's why my parents didn't love me.

I don't even know how she figured it out but once my parents caught wind of it we packed up and moved again. Surprisingly I didn't cop it that bad. But ever since then I tend to keep to myself, I don't like making friends anymore and honestly, I don't even think I know how.

As we get closer to the car I can see from here Claire and Hayden are in the backseat, although I'm honestly not that surprised. They all do seem to be attached at the hip. I guess that's what it must be like when you have friends.

Jason runs around to the passenger side and to open my car door for me, I just blush and look down at my feet again as I slide into the car. I take a lift my head up a little and can see Claire staring at me from the backseat, grinning from ear to ear.

"Um is something wrong?"

"No. Not at all, just happy that we could all go home together. I really do feel like we are going to be good friends Lila. You'll see."

"Right."

I look back down at my hands as I fiddle with them, trying to overcome the awkwardness that I am feeling right now. Jason hopped in the car and started it straight away, he seems to be a bit giddy. I don't know why, he's nice but they all seem to be a little bit weird.

"So, um where do you live Lila?"

"Um just a few blocks away, on Millner Road?"

"Oh right, those new apartment complexes', right?"

"Yea, I guess. I didn't realise they were new, they seemed nice in the photos and were cheap, so I jumped at the chance."

"Oh? You don't live here with your parents?"

People ask me all the time questions in regard to my parent's, and I am normally use to it. But this is the first time in a new sitting having to explain that I am on my own now. Although I guess technically, I have always been on my own, it just seems final now, I guess.

"No. My parents passed away a little while go, it's just me. Hoping to finish out my last school year quietly and get into a good college."

I look away from all the pity stares and look out the window. And from the corner of my it looks like there is a car coming up behind us. Eerily fast, it's not going to hit us, is it?

"I'm sorry to hear that, Lila. Truly, although I don't know what it is like to lose a parent, I do know what it is like to lose someone close to me. So, if you ever want to talk, just know that I am here."

"And not just him Lila. Us to, he may not look like it, but Hayden and I are really good listeners."

"Thanks, but I assure you it probably isn't the same thing."

Before anyone could say anything else, all of a sudden, the car has hit hard by a loud thud as we skidded out of control. In moments like these I'm pretty sure people say you are supposed to see your life flash before your eyes. But the only thing I could think was, is this all that I am going to get to do with my life?

I can see Jason out of the corner of my eye trying to gain control of the car, but it was of no use. He couldn't do anything and the next thing I know the car is rolling down the road coming to a slow stop.

Everything has gone white, and I hear yelling and loud sounds all around me. It's hard to make anything out with this high-pitched sound I hear ringing through my ears. Everything hurts, it hurts to breath. Am I really going to die like this? Is this what my parents felt before they died or did, they simply wish they were dead?

All I can think about in this moment is if I am dead or alive. But honestly don't know which answer I would prefer.