Can I handle it?

We sat together on the couch in silence, awkwardly avoiding the situation. There was nothing I could say to take away the fear that she felt at that moment, and I was supposed to be on a journey to save someone.

'If I explained that I killed the cause of her terror, wouldn't she just think I was lying to comfort her?' Constantly thinking, I couldn't come up with a scenario that made me comfortable.

In the worst-case scenario she'd want to see the body.

I know that things get reset every cycle, but can I really see Ali die?

Can I handle that?

'Still, I can't leave her alone. Not after I found her in th-'

My thoughts are interrupted when I feel my companion's hand graze my cheek, and the weight on the sofa suddenly shift.

Opening my eyes, all I see are her vibrant eyes as her lips nervously approach mine. A slight tremble can be felt in her hand as if she's afraid of the situation and hasn't fully committed.

"Alicia, we have to talk about this before we get carried away. You've been through a lot." I interrupt her advance, and her lips curl into a frown as her hand recoils quickly from my face.

"B-but, I t-thought, with your p-parents gone, we'd be o-okay," her voice cracks as she delivers her line and I detect a hint of confusion behind the sadness.

I stand up and sit in the recliner across from the couch, so that we can have a face-to-face talk, reminding me of the way my father used to lecture me when he found out about Ali. The parallels stopped there, because instead of a rebellious young man in the opposing seat, there is a beautiful young woman who is scared and confused.

We discuss everything that occurred to us from the beginning of the outbreak, which consists mostly of me telling my side of the story. After discovering that I was having difficulty remembering the actual events that led up to my resurrection, I lied to cover any gaps.

I've revived multiple times after all, and my mind has been busy.

Eventually, we run out of negative topics to talk about and our conversation steers toward more pleasant times. Nothing particularly important comes up, which allows us both to relax and forget our circumstances for a moment.

It was almost as if we had returned to being close friends.

"So, I've made a decision… if you're alright with it," I say as I rise to my feet and stand directly in front of Ali.

"What do you mean?" A look of sheer terror appears back on her face as her skin goes pale, as if I was going to abandon her again. Her hands tensed as her entire arm began to shiver.

"I'll stay here, as friends, for a while. Until you're in a better place emotionally." I offer my hand to her and motion to my bat laying on the floor with the other, "It's not perfect, but I've been able to defend myself outside a bit. Maybe I can gather supplies while you watch over me with the rifle?"

"No," She yells, "We're safe here!"

She quickly grabs onto my hand and jumps from the couch, "I told you about the supplies, but it'll make more sense if you see it."

Ali leads me into the second bedroom and turns on the light. Boxes of M.R.E.s (Meals Ready to Eat) are stacked in the corner of the room, with a bucket of loose ammunition, already out of the box, sitting in front of them.

On the other side of the room packages of bottled water were stacked from the floor to nearly ceiling height, filling half of the room.

"Holy Hell, he really was ridiculous, wasn't he!?" I turn to Ali—my jaw seemingly frozen in an open position.

"Yeah, check out this powerful rifle he left behind!" Excitedly, she gripped my arm and tugged me back into the living room.

Honestly, I have been trying to identify the rifle since I arrived but I'm not familiar that familiar with the details of firearms. The long dark stained wooden stock and black bolt made it look like any hunting rifle I've ever used. Without looking at the information on the gun, I would have no clue.

Ali lifted the rifle with both hands before resting the butt of it on her hip with the barrel pointed toward the sky. Only now do I realize just how large it looks in her 5'7" petite frame.

With her light silver hair hanging low, she looked like a beautiful reaper of lives and I knew personally just how accurate she was.

"Trent was so out of it he shaved off all the identifying information!" She pointed towards where the inscriptions would be with her free hand, "If it weren't for the buckets of ammo, I'd probably run into a problem."

"Thankfully," She lowers the rifle to a low ready position and racks the bolt, ejecting a round before catching it with one hand, "Each bullet is marked, this is a .30-06!"

I know she has been hunting with her dad in the past, but I didn't think she was this knowledgeable!

"You're amazing," I half mutter as I stare at her figure deftly handling the weapon as if it were an extension of herself.

Time passes as we spend our life living in the apartment, completely ignoring the chaos in the city around us. The occasional explosion blasts through the streets or the sound of shrieking monsters pierce our ears, causing us to temporarily seek shelter, but we didn't let it bother us.

Based the amount of rations we had eaten, it must have been weeks already, but I can't be sure. We didn't consider where the next food source was coming from nor how the lights managed to stay working.

It's as if we accept our fate and are just waiting for the end.

I know this to not be the case. This cycle is a favor for someone I care about. I can't make the decision to abandon her after I saw the state she was in and I refuse to lose her.

'You know what, why can't we enjoy our time together?' My mind begins to get complacent due to the situation.

I forgot my objective a while ago. Forgot isn't the right word, perhaps I shoved it aside instead. There's a part of me that just wanted to see a smile return to Ali, especially if I was the cause.

She was wearing a sheer light blue top that she found in Sarah's closet, paired with similar white athletic shorts as before. They seem to have become her favorite since her options were limited. Perhaps they were the only choice that fit?

She's walking back to the couch after retrieving a bottle of water as she catches my attention. Most likely to talk some more, or maybe play a card game. Either way, I don't want that to happen.

I stand up as she approaches, now distracted by drinking from her bottle.

In one motion I slide my hand onto her lower back while the other snakes up and caresses her cheek. Before she has a chance to react, I softly pull the distance between us close and kiss her exposed neck.

The water bottle drops to the ground as her hand finds the back of my head and her free arm wraps around me.

Softly kissing her smooth skin as I move up her neck, my hand slides from her cheek to the back of her head and firmly pulls a handful of hair.

"You know, I've missed you." I raise my head and whisper into her ear, my warm breath passing causes her body to quiver.

Before she can reply, I nibble on her earlobe, and a soft moan escapes her lips.

Pulling my head away and releasing her hair, I place my forehead on hers. She can tell I don't want to talk as my hand joins its partner on the small of her back, and my head tilts slightly.

I meet her enticing pink lips as she closes her eyes and parts her mouth slightly to accept my tongue. With them intertwined, our tongues begin where they left off so long ago, as if not a moment had passed.

My hands slide down her hips and firmly grip her ass, urging her forward further.

She complies with a hop, not breaking our kiss before she wraps her legs around me and begins to run her hands through my hair.

Suddenly, she pushes her upper body away, licking her lips with a playful smile while wiping a strand of hair from her face with one hand. Not one to owe someone, she lowers her chin to find my own defenseless flesh, where she bites teasingly.

I let out a gasp as the playful teasing grows in intensity and the bites become more intense.

She tilts her hips forward, driving our bodies even closer as she rubs against me—trying to urge me into sitting on the couch.

Not one to give in, I swiftly turn and release my grip on her, causing her body to fall suddenly to the couch with one arm still wrapped around my neck. I lock her lips with mine before she can resist and push her back against the sofa.

My mouth leave hers and begin to trail her collar bone as the light kisses tickle her on their way toward her chest. Her hands crawl under my shirt onto my back.

Biting her neck before leaving causes her to dig her nails deep into my back. I exhale sharply as a shiver is sent through my entire body, causing me to pause.

I notice a smile on her lips as I decide to step away from her body, her hands hooking the bottom of my shirt in the process.

In one smooth motion, it is over my head when a sharp pain assaults my chest. I can't help but drop to one knee and clench at the left side of my body while a warmth overtakes my limbs.

"Alex? ALEX!? Are you okay?!" Ali quickly sits up and throws the shirt to the side. No longer playing as she helps me lay down and tries to help, "What's happening?"

"I'm not sure," Each word felt like I had run a block before speaking it, the catching my breath had become impossible.

When my vision shifted to a familiar scene, I knew exactly what had happened.

"It seems you ran out of time and didn't save Elaine," The mysterious voice states as a matter of fact.

"What the Hell happened to me?!" I raise the question knowing full well I could be heard and wouldn't take no for an answer, "Did you kill me?"

"Not intentionally. Part of this agreement is that if Elaine expires, you do as well." The voice showed no emotion and didn't seem to know what it interrupted. If it did, it didn't care.

"Why? Why did I not know this?"