Operation: MONARCH, Part 4: Rely on Kindness

Hyrule Castle; past midnight

Azula couldn't remember the last time she slept in a nice, comfy castle. She missed the cozy bed, warm blanket, non-swaying room, and the videogame noises… wait, that part was new to her.

Whatever these strange noises were, they were annoying. Dressed in her red nightgown and hair drooping, the former princess stomped over to her door and pushed it open. Hearing the sounds more loudly, the commander marched down the castle hall in bare feet. The sounds originated from Mandy's bedroom, and a faint light leaked from the gaps. The Darknut guards didn't try to stop their superior as Azula barged in.

With bags in her eyes, Mandy was locked in Super Smash Bros.. Accompanying her was Gaz, lazily lain sideways along the floor. With Mandy playing as Bayonetta and Gaz playing Bowser, the two were almost an equal match with each other. "Mandy, it's midnight! Honestly, you're lucky Castle Town burned down or they'd be calling the police!" It should be noted Azula is one of the few people who could show such attitude to Mandy.

"Nnn, be quiet, Azula, I'mma beat the crap out of this damn turtle."

"Good Lord, you're drunk again."

"Yeah, she is." Gaz remarked. "She wanted to play in my room first, but I was like, 'Not with that breath, sister.'" Gaz was another person who could show attitude to Mandy.

"I should've known you'd be a bad influence." Azula said to Gaz. "Why would Mandy invite you to the crew, anyway? Aren't you just online rivals?"

"I'm in it for the giant mechs."

"Mandy, a good queen needs a good night's sleep. Turn that thing off and go to-"

"NYARH!" She threw the controller at Azula. "Don't ever call me a good queen AGAIN, ya…ya 'good' demolisher!" She resumed playing… but her fingers only mashed the air: her controller was gone. "You idiot… because of you, this damn turtle's gonna make off with my princess. Why does she like turtles more than me?!"

Azula rolled her eyes and walked over with the controller. "Mandy, what's bothering you, anyway? Did the first day on the job not go very well?"

"Nnnnn… It went terrific. Terrific in the worst possible way. That damn Sheikah girl tricked me. She gave them all delicious food when it was supposed to poison them. Now everyone thinks I'mma saint…"

"Oh, you poor thing. But if you ask me, this problem is salvageable. All you have to do is send Smaug to burn Kakariko! That'll send Hyrule the message you want. You want me to send word to him right now?"

"Nnnnnnnn…" Mandy shut her eyes and stroked the lids. "I…I…I wanna say 'yes'… but my mouth won't listen! Why won't my mouth shut up?!"

"I think I know why: you simply don't have the heart for it." Azula shook her head. "You may have powerful Fear Chi… but your kind actions contradict your threats and your effect on people."

"WAAAAAAAAAaaaaahhh!" Mandy fell backwards, bawling as she was arched over Gaz's striped stockings.

"I'm like ten K.O.'s ahead of you now." Gaz reminded, showing no mercy in the Emperor's miserable state.

"Oh, get ahold of yourself, Mandy. I never thought generosity was a bad thing. Do you know how I first became friends with Mai and Ty Lee? They asked to be friends in order to climb up the social ladder. And I, the generous Azula, approved. From then, I continued to grant other generous favors for them, and do you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because it put them in debt to me." Azula smirked wickedly. "My kindness made them feel gratitude, and that gratitude became fear. I was unselfishly generous because I could manipulate them into doing what I asked, make them feel guilty over using my power for their own gain. So, you see, Mandy, you can't rely on fear to control people. You rely on kindness."

"Rely on… kindness?" Mandy gazed at her open palms. "Use kindness… to invoke fear? Even after becoming Logia, after years of honing my element… I've felt so weak. Is this what I've been missing?"

"There's only one way to find out. Perhaps you should take a break from being a Fear Queen, and present yourself as a kind queen instead. After all… the first step to conquering your fear is to face it. …Well, after you get some sleep, that is."

"Present myself as a kind queen? Would that… work?"

"Who knows? You could start by 'kindly' telling Gaz to leave."

"Yeah, yeah." Gaz remarked following the announcement, GAME! "Nice playing with you, Mandy." She pulled her legs out from under the queen, letting her fully collapse. Gaz turned off the TV and console and proceeded to leave. Azula sighed at her demeanor and worked to lift Mandy onto her bed.

The next morning; Hyrule Field

The sun was barely lighting the lush fields as Kodama and Yuzu crossed the country on a motorcycle made of Sheikah Tech. "Yeehaaaaaaa!" cheered Kodama, her head leaned over the steering wheel. Her eyes were wide with excitement, and she refused to blink, no matter how much wind pounded her face. "I tell ya, Yuzu, these Hylians REALLY know how to breathe the wild!!"

"Kodama, if we're going to be exploring Hyrule for awhile, have you thought about where we're going to stay?" Yuzu asked, hugging the driver's waist. "We don't even have Rupees."

"No problem, we'll just find them under rocks or in trees and stuff. Minish are as active here as they are on Earth."

"True, but there's one other thing that concerns me: Mandy's new laws decree that Hyruleans can't discriminate against demons. Does that mean we can't fight them?"

"No, it means we can't attack them without just cause, but if they attack first, it's our right to defend ourselves. …Well, if Mandy's the queen, maybe not, so we're screwed either way, hehe."

"Why don't we park somewhere and check with our teammates? It also wouldn't hurt to find the nearest village on our M.A.P.."

Hyrule Castle

As if according to Yuzu and Kodama's predictions, a gang of Lizalfos dragged Koko back to the castle, dropping her at Mandy's throne. The young Sheikah faced the queen with little fear in her eyes. "So, you had the gall to trick me." Mandy said.

"You ordered me to cook the demon parts and serve them to Kakariko. I figured you meant for me to poison them, but you never specified." Koko replied with a firm tone. "But even if you had, I would never hurt someone with my food, even enemies."

"You know, this morning, I had the Dragon Call in my hand, and I was about to have Kakariko burned before I ate breakfast. But your little stunt has given the people a better impression of me. And it was then I realized… maybe I can use you to my advantage."

"You want me to be your personal chef?"

"Yes, but not just for me. I want to take you on my journey around the kingdom. If the Hyruleans love your cooking, they will love me for serving it to them."

"You want to use my cooking to gain favor with the populace?"

"Refusal to cooperate will result in the destruction of-"

"You really admire my cooking that much?!" Koko's eyes began to water, a crescent grin lighting her face. "Do you know what an honor this is for Koko?"

"This isn't gonna be a cakewalk, brat! Hyrule has a ton of races and tribes, and they all have different tastes."

"Koko knows! Koko visits a lot of KND sectors and learns what they like to eat. She even keeps a recipe book!" She presented a book labeled Koko's Recipes. "Just give Koko the right ingredients and she'll cook whatever's appropriate for any race!"

"As long as it boosts my reputation, you'll have all the ingredients you could possibly need. Now, let's get to work!"

Cindy Cortix had walked out onto a castle balcony, staring out at the ruined castle town. "Hah…Princess of Hyrule. Don't I feel royal."

"Heeeey, it's my favorite little niece!" Catherine cheerily called out as she swayed up and placed a hand down on Cindy's short head. "You've gotten so big since last time! You excited to be ruler of your own planet?"

"Meh. My mom's just gonna be really busy and I'll be bored."

"Oh, I'm sure there's a ton of fun things to do. Come on, let's explore the kingdom together! Spend some quality time with Aunt Catherine!"

"You're gonna end up passing out in a bar somewhere. Then I'll look pathetic."

"Fine, then we can bring Uncle Nergal along, too. I'll let you riiiide hiiiim~"

"Make him turn into the prettiest pony ever."

"It's a deal!"

Hebra Mountain

Mandy's takeover had become famous amongst all the KNDs, with the Coruscanti being no strangers to it. A fleet of ships amassed outside Hyrule in attempt to shoot through the Anti-Fairy swarm. In the midst of combat, a cloaked ship had managed to sneak through a clearing of fairies. It descended to the planet and through a sea of clouds, the air becoming frosty as they were nearing Hebra Mountain.

Hebra took up the northwest portion of Hyrule's Main Land, a land that only the bravest explorers would venture. The ship landed within a crevice as five operatives stepped out. They were the agents of Sector Hinobi, Mitch Williams, High Five, Zahra, Bergy, and Haneesh (from Glitch Techs). "Oh, man…I can't believe we just landed on a Pirate Emperor's planet!" Bergy said cowardly. "This is way outside our jurisdiction!"

"Yeah, well blame Five!" Mitch argued. "It was his idea to volunteer us for this crazy mission."

"You agreed to it, too, Mitch." Five reminded. "Besides, our reputation's been a bit bad ever since glitch info became more public. We can't just limit ourselves to fixing Hinobi's problems."

"All I'm saying is the fans better love me for this." Mitch said as he cloaked the parked ship. "Let's find a way off this mountain." The team of five began their venture down the snowy path.

"I just wish we could've landed somewhere more convenient." Zahra said. "Like, I know landing here makes us less conspicuous, but how're we supposed to escort prisoners all the way up here?!"

"For now, we just need to investigate. Eventually, more operatives will make land on the planet and things should be easier."

"Do you think we could go to Gerudo Town first? I heard it's one of the nicest places!"

"It is if you're a girl." Five inferred.

"Hey, what's that?" Haneesh pointed. A faint streak of light seemed to graze across the clouds. They could make out a shape around the light's source, and it seemed to be, "It's… coming toward us!"

"Ohhhhh NERDS!" Mitch screamed, the kids ducking as a large mech, resembling a white knight, whooshed above and brushed away the snow. The mech turned vertical and landed firmly, turning to face the intruders.

"So, that's why most of the invading fleet was above this mountain. Thought you could sneak onto the planet, huh?"

"They discovered us already?!" Mitch exclaimed.

"You barely even started the level, but it's already Game Over! So, let's get this over with!" The knight slashed its blade and released a strip of energy, the operatives jumping backward.

"Go for the knees!" Mitch shot the knees as his teammates followed orders. Despite its hefty build, the knight performed tricky dodging maneuvers and leapt for a chop attack, the five breaking apart. The knight dealt a spin attack against Mitch, who brought up a shield in defense, but was still knocked away. Five used jetshoes to fly above and attempt to bash the robot's head with a Digi-Hammer. The pilot noticed glitches in their controls and reacted to swat five away.

"So, your gadgets are designed to mess with programming. But I'll bet it has a harder time with foreign machinery." When Haneesh tried to chop its legs with scissors, the knight jumped and thrusted a kick to kick the larger boy away. Bergy had latched onto its back and climbed to the head, shooting a Derez Beam. The knight performed a backflip, side flip, then spin to shake Bergy off. Zahra dealt a slash to the knee with her laser sword, but the knight twirled and kicked her backward, followed by a spin and chop-down at Mitch, who dodged.

"Hey, Mitch, you think we should try to retreat?" Five asked.

"You can try, but no matter where you go, nothing will stop me from raining terror and fear unlike you have ever seen!"

"Terror and fear?" That line was almost familiar to Mitch. And now that he thought about it, this mech's techniques were sort of familiar to him. Its techniques, along with that line reminded him of… "Gamer Queen Gaz?!"

In a house somewhere on the mountains, Gaz was controlling the knight with a Sheikah Slate, which displayed a first-person view like a handheld game. "Hold on… he said your name was Mitch. Did he mean Mitch Williams?"

"Queen Gaz?! What in blazes are YOU doing here?! I knew you were rivals with Mandy, but you're actually in her crew?!"

"I just wanted a little excitement in my life. And I'm actually having fun! Especially now that you're here, cocky little Mitch!"

"This thing is the actual Gamer Queen?!" Haneesh exclaimed. "That's impossible!"

"Heh. I guess there's only one way out of this." Mitch smirked. "Gang… follow my lead!"

Great Sea

Karin and Panini slept outside a horse stable for the night. Afterwards, Karin became a ghost and carried her comrade past the shore and over the ocean. Because of all the demons that seemed to occupy the sea, either on platforms or in small battleships, Karin had to make them invisible and/or take detours. Doing so consumed her energy, so they would rest at unoccupied islands in their flight path. Right now, the girls stopped on Greatfish Island, a ruin of an island that was divided into five, upturned landmasses.

"Flying over the ocean is usually a good stress-reliever." Karin said as they rested their feet in the shallow waves. The girls were on a narrow beach at the base of a small trench. "Now it's just super stressful."

"Ya better not be callin' me heavy!" Panini rebutted.

"Girl, look at your anatomy compared to mine. You're super heavy!"

"Excuse me for not being half-dead."

A few miles offshore, a telescope emerged from the surface and peered at the operatives. A band of demon pirates were occupying a submarine with a barrel design. "Captain, I think I just spotted the ghost girl and her friend." explained a pink Bokoblin. "They look way too suspicious."

"I've already sent word to General Bellum." replied a Big Blin. "I don't know how strong they are, but if they're fast, he'll catch them no doubt."

"Oi, the fog is already rolling in."

"That means he's here. We'll wait for his signal."

Much to the girls' confusion, the sun was blocked by the arrival of thick white fog. "Oh, great. Now it's chilly." Panini said, quickly stepping out of the water.

"Panini, there's something weird about this fog. I can almost feel a spiritual presence…"

Psshoooooo! The whistle of a missile ruptured the air.

"PANINI!" Karin grabbed her friend and took flight seconds before the beach was destroyed by a missile. "Dammit, they must've spotted us a while back. Let's fly straight through!" She turned them invisible and flew steadfast forward, evading any further missiles. "Ugh, this fog goes on forever." Karin complained, becoming visible. "Can you still track Cheren's-"

A Reapling appeared from the fog and lashed its scythe, striking Karin as the two fell. The girls crashed on the deck of a dark ship, which had a large, horned skull figurehead, lanterns to serve as headlights, and the label Phantom Hour. Reaplings surrounded them with scythes raised. "Bloop bop boooo. Who are these little phantoms haunting Cortez's sea?" A squid-like being floated toward them: it had five purple tentacles with an eye on each, a yellow central body, and a larger eye within its mouth, peering at the girls. His likeness was reflected on the ship's mainsail. "You've got some 'splaining to do, girls."

"Who are you, ya disgusting excuse for a Kirby boss?!" Panini retorted.

"That's Bellum to you, little missy! To say such a rude remark, you must be brimming with life force."

"Bellum? Wait…" Karin pulled out her Soul Phone and scanned the monster. "Bellum the Sea Phantom, wanted with a bounty of 650,000,000 Mon, who once served as one of Davy Jones' Division Commanders. You're a known criminal in the Spirit World!"

"And you naughty things look like KND operatives. Lord Mandy has made it clear that your kind is banned, but I'm sure she won't mind a few statues in her castle!" (Play "Keeper of Lust" from Persona 5!)

Bellum lashed all five tentacles at the two, but Karin sliced them with her Zanpakutō while Panini defended with flames. "Bankai!" Karin declared, her sword morphing into a soccer ball with a spirit flame. The Reaplings closed in on them, but with a mighty kick, the Soul Soccer bounced around all the Reaplings like a lightning-fast cannonball, blasting them off so fast that their ghostly bodies dispersed. "Now I'll go for the goal!" Karin shot skyward, and when her ball returned, she dealt another great kick directly at Bellum's central eye. The soccer drilled against the sealed lid before bouncing off, the massive eye popping wide open. "That shell is stronger than it looks."

"I bet ya use the other eyes to see!" Panini declared, slashing flame whips at the tentacles again. Bellum hastily maneuvered his tentacles before snatching Panini, only for her to burn herself free. "I bet sea demons aren't a fan of Underworld flames! FIRE BUNNY FURY!" Panini unlocked her Fire Gate as emerald flames ignited her body, her twin ponytails taking the form of fiery rabbit ears.

An angered Bellum stuck his tentacles into the deck, melding his body with the ship as eyes grew on it. Half the eyes locked onto each girl, blasting ghostly cannonballs. Panini rapidly hopped around the air and used her strengthened feet to kick them back into the eyes, whilst Karin dodged the ammo and used quick, consecutive kicks to destroy the eyes with her soccer. "Karin to Yachiru, requesting assistance!" she yelled to her Soul Phone. "I'm fighting Bellum, repeat, Bellum the Sea Phantom on Hyrule's ocean!"

Karin heard the whistling missiles again, seeing the projectiles descending; shark faces were painted on them. She began to destroy them with Ecto Beams, leaving Panini to destroy the ship's eyes. Panini launched down and gripped Bellum's eyelid, pulling it open with all her strength. "AAAAHHH!" The rabbit's fire burned the bulbous eye. A tentacle popped out of the deck and shot a sticky pink goop, but Panini dodged by flipping in the air and stamping her foot into the eye. "YOOOOOOWW!" Bellum desperately grabbed Panini and threw her off, burning a tentacle in the process. "Oh, my eye! My eye, my eye! Cubus Sisters, where's my eye drops?! Bring me my damn eye drops!"

"Right here, sister!" Karin declared, blasting the Soul Soccer directly at the eye, but four hideous ghosts intercepted and kicked it simultaneously. The Cubus Sisters had forced grins, orange eyes, horns, and wore a red, blue, yellow, and green ragged cloak respectively.

"These bullies aren't playing fair." said Joelle, the red sister.

"Meg, give Lord Bellum the eye drops." ordered Beth, the yellow sister.

"What?! I thought Amy had it!" Meg, the purple one, argued.

"I knew you would forget." Amy, the green one, remarked.

"Why are you four so damn useless?!" Bellum shouted.

Karin kicked her ball at Meg, who was forced downward, but the other three quickly stacked up behind her and broke the fall. They returned the ball, but Karin kicked it at Bellum, only for Joelle to do a roundhouse kick back to her. Karin did a vertical rounded kick, but it was returned by Amy, the ball going behind Karin, but with a flip-kick, the ball shot underwater. The sisters looked around until the ball blew up through the ship and struck Joelle, Amy, Beth, then Meg with supreme momentum.

Meanwhile, Bellum reached a tentacle in the ship's pantry and retrieved eye drops, dipping them on himself. "OOOOOH, BABY!" His full strength returned like a Fountain of Youth. "Boy, do I fucking love eye drops!!" Bellum took to the air and stretched his tentacles, all six eyes open and facing Karin directly. "Dark Light BEAM!" Five small lasers connected the small eyes with the big eye, which in turn unleashed a beam of darkness. Karin flew evasively as the beam tried to follow her. Karin flew above, tossed her soccer up, and kicked it directly into the beam, pressing ever downward as energy spewed around like a fountain.

Sadly, the Dark Beam prevailed and pushed the ball back, even as Karin stamped down on it. "Huh?!" To her surprise, twin Song Beams descended and applied extra power, completely forcing the Dark Beam back into Bellum's eye. Karin faced up, almost surprised at seeing the Spirit KND operatives who had come to her rescue. "You guys made it!"

"Yo, Karin, you found yourself one hell of a freakshow!" Beat remarked.

"Does he kiss his mom with that mouth?!" followed his sister, Rhyme. Alongside them were their teammates from Sector REAP: an orange-haired boy named Neku, a teenage male angel named Joshua, and a large-hatted girl named Shiki.

"Can you guys take it from here?" Karin asked. "We're trying to find someone."

"You can count on us." Joshua replied with an assuring smile. "Take that human to safety."

Karin swooped down and grabbed Panini, whose Fire Fury had worn off. They took flight beyond the fog as the five spirit operatives surrounded Bellum. "Blip blop boo… At this rate, I may need to call Cortez…" Bellum said.

"We won't give you the chance!" Shiki declared. (End song.)

Outset Island

At long last, Karin and Panini arrived at an island where the seas were calm. They landed at the top of a mountain to catch their breath, left with torn clothes and no shoes after their sudden battle. Karin received a call from Yuzu. "Karin-nee, are you there? You haven't been answering my calls."

"Sorry, Yuzu. We got into a fight with some demons, but we escaped. How're you doing?"

Yuzu recapped the plan they had set for Koko. "And it seems like we were right." Kodama followed. "They brought her back to the castle and she started setting M.I.K.E.s. By the sound of things, Mandy is trying to give the people a better impression of her using Koko's cooking."

"Well, I hope she doesn't get discovered. Keep us posted, we'll get back to you." Transmission ended. "Hoo… Now to find Cheren."

The two heard footsteps coming up the mountain path. They saw a head of blonde hair rising up, and Panini soon recognized her as Biscuit Krueger. "Oh, it's just you. I sensed two figures show up on the mountain and thought it was Mandy's soldiers."

"Where is Cheren?"

Bisky led them down the mountain, to a small and peaceful village. They crossed a pier and climbed a ladder to a tall lookout platform, where Cheren lay asleep in tattered clothes. "I made him go into the Savage Labyrinth armed with only his fists and legs. It's a dungeon with tons of monsters that get stronger as you go deeper. I gotta say, he grasped the fundamentals of Haki in a pretty short amount of time. His prior combat experience was a major asset to this."

"Then is he finally ready to come back and lead us? 'Cause we could SERIOUSLY use him!"

"Sadly, he's not. However, after resting him up, it'll finally be time for his final trial. Or should I say, his final 100 Trials."

"You guys have a Pit of 100 Trials?" Karin asked.

"So does every planet!"

"And I suppose you won't let me tell him that another one of his sectors was captured?" Panini asked.

"That… would put a hindrance in his training, yeah."

"Sigh… Karin, you might as well go find your teammates or somethin'. I'll be staying here a while."

"Really? Well, I'm gonna rest first, for one thing. If you need me, just call." She climbed down.

Panini cracked her knuckles, and Bisky remained still. "Have at it." said the Drill Sergeant.

"YAAAAAAHH!" The people of Outset heard a shout, followed by violent beating sounds.

"Kids, maybe you shouldn't play up there today." a mother told her children.

"Yaaaaawn…" Cheren woke from his slumber, barely feeling the pain from his battles. "I can't believe I survived… Bisky, you shoulda seen the way I handled those Darknuts…?"

His trainer was faced away, applying makeup to hide her bruises. For a second, Cheren thought he noticed one. "Bisky, did… something happen?"

"Hm? No, nothing!" She faced him with a beaming smile. "Good news, Cheren, you're ready for your final test!"

"Aw, sweet! Where we heading this time?"

"The Korok Forest. …However, I think there's something you should know. Bluntly put, your Aunt Mandy has taken over Hyrule." She showed him a newspaper.

"WHAT THE FRICK?!"

"Calm down! I'm just as confused as you are, but I won't allow you to see her until you've finished your training!"

"Sigh… Well, this will be a fun reunion. I can only imagine how that girl's twisting this world."

Across the kingdom (Play the Opening to That Girl!)

Lake Hylia was famous for its Watertop Land amusement park, and today, hundreds were lining up to ride Lord Mandy's Carrier Kargaroks. Making sure the children were all strapped to the straddles, the queen ordered their takeoff. The multiracial kids cheered with joy, but the Goron kids quickly became too heavy for the large birds. Sadly, the Kargaroks plummeted. The parents gasped, but Mandy dove into the lake and swam beneath them, extending giant hands of fear to catch the Kargaroks, struggling to hold up their immense weight. To top it off, one of the Zora riders threw up on her head from 50 meters in the air. The parents cheered, all the while enjoying Koko's hotdogs and pizza.

Newspapers were going around, and the headline was Lord Mandy Saves Gorons from Drowning! Allows Rito kids to eat fish vomit off her head!

Hytopia was a small kingdom north of the mainland, beyond its Great Ridge. It was famous for its fashion, but infamous for discriminating people with round ears. At this very moment, a group of aspiring soldiers were forbidden entry into the training camp, due to their round-earred heritage. But Mandy walked up to King Tuft, held up a pointed pizza slice, and cut the tip off with her sword. Taking the hint with a gulp, the round-earred humans were allowed into training. This, combined with Koko's Stylish Soup, made them very happy.

Lord Mandy Ends Human Discrimination in Hytopia! Rumors that the Krueger Family's daughter eloped with a peasant boy?

Cortez's ship, the Black Skull, docked at a port as dozens of tourists boarded. The undead captain laughed and smiled with the aura of a welcoming host, his Ember minions serving food cooked in the castle's very kitchens. The ghost ship sailed treacherous waters that no other cruise liner would dare venture. The kids also took apart Cortez's bones and had sword fights with them, and they played volleyball with his skull.

Dreaded Ghost Ship Becomes Special Cruise Liner! Who Wore It Better? Gerudo Chief Riju or Goron Princess Sangoro?

As days flew by, Sector JP continued to read newspapers of Mandy's kind deeds. She had collected water from Forest Haven and had it delivered to Koroks around the world, who needed it to grow their trees. She had cut down almost a hundred trees and given them to Bolson Construction, who would build homes over the newly desolate land. Her Ice Demons helped cargo trains deliver ice from Anouki villages to hot regions, without letting too much melt.

Lord Mandy Finds 120 Korok Seeds: The first person to care about them in 200 years!

Lord Mandy Exterminates a House Full of Skulltulas: Rumors that Mandy has a spider for a son.

The Deku Tree Releases his Tea-Making Secrets: Koroks Are NOT An Ingredient?! (End song.)

Dragon Roost Island

"Breaking news, Master!" a Wizzrobe shouted. "Lord Mandy just fixed a dog's leg just in time for the Doggy Grand Prix!"

"Ooooo bluh bluh bluh!" laughed Master Wizzrobe, a parrot being in an orange robe and Incan crown. "Our queen has made the headline for 10 days in a row! Hurry up and get this copied!"

"As you say, fellow Wizzrobe journalist!" replied a crow Rito in a trenchcoat. "I am so honored, to be a Wizzrobe, in Mandy's crew, and not affiliated with the Kremling Krew, in any way—SHAPE—or form." He faced left and right in a twitchy manner. "Say, now that you have mentioned this topic, do you know what cheat code Mandy uses to beat K. Rool in their favorite competitive game?"

"Quit stuttering and print the damn paper!"

"I see, I see! Achievement Unlocked: WHY? is a very clever cheat, and we had best hope K. Rool, does not come by this knowledge." The crow zipped away and quickly dialed a number. "Kroctus-sama, Kroctus-sama! Uminuh uminuh UMINUH!"

Tabantha Tundra

East of Hebra Mountain, along the Tabantha Snowfield, Cindy and Catherine were riding Nergal, transformed into a dreary-eyed horse. Nergal charged toward a pack of wolves, who turned tail and ran. "AWOO!" A wolf cried as Nergal stomped it and kept running.

"OUCH! Right on the paw!" Catherine cheered.

"Yippee…" Cindy sighed.

"Well, if stomping ten wolves doesn't make you laugh, something must be wrong." Nergal figured.

"Aunt Catherine… Uncle Nergal… am I unlikeable?"

"Why would you say that?" Catherine wondered. "You're the scariest little monster I know!"

"I think you just agreed with her." Nergal said.

"It's just all my friends are dead animals and crewmen. Mom's been doing all this nice stuff and making people like her. At first, I thought it was dumb, but… now that she's doing it on purpose, I feel kind of… sick! I feel like I'll look bad if I don't get people to like me!"

"Why don't you go and practice? Look, there's some Anouki over there." He pointed his hoof to a group of Anouki kids sliding on their bellies.

"But what if they only like me 'cause they're afraid of me?"

"Kids can be pretty shallow like that." Catherine agreed. "Sometimes, they're not much different from men. Still, you deserve as many followers as Mandy! And if they don't like you, I'll give them a little push."

"Thanks, Aunt Catherine." Cindy smiled. The princess took a nervous breath. "Here it goes…" She climbed off her uncle and approached the sliding Anouki. "Ahem…HEY! YOU!"

The Anouki immediately ceased and jumped to attention. Her grin was wide and haunting, as if she were a serial killer lurking in the snow. "Wanna be frieeeeeeends?"

"AAAAAAHH!" The Anouki cried and slid away.

"HEY! I demand FRIENDSHIP!" Cindy ran after them.

"Maybe you should just be yourself." Nergal suggested.

"Hehe, have fun, Cindy!" Catherine called. "C'mon, Nergs, let's head back to the stable! I think a guy in there was eying me, oooo, he's in for a hell of a night!"

Eldin's Flank; north of Death Mountain

The earth around Death Mountain was a pinkish-red with the most minimal plant life. Jinta and Ururu traveled along Eldin's Flank, which lay just between Death Mountain and the Great Ridge, a gaping and vacant chasm that divided this continent from the next. "Man, Hyrule sucks." Jinta said. "Dumb horses too scared to come up a dumb volcano, making us walk everywhere… and why didn't the Gorons have an easier way down here? This is THEIR mountain!"

"Keep your voice down, Jinta-kun. Smaug might hear us." Ururu spoke softly.

The pair had just made a perilous journey up Death Mountain and visited the Gorons. Based on what they gathered, Smaug's lair was hidden deep beneath Death Mountain, its entrance within the cliff of the Great Ridge. An ancient Dragon's Lullaby was played to lull Smaug into an eternal slumber, lest he be rudely awakened by an outside force. The Gorons used earthbending to seal the entrance to the cave, but this all took place 3,900 years ago.

Jinta gasped, "Ururu, get down!" They crouched, seeing a small, dark figure descending down the ridge.

Ururu zoomed the vision on her visor. "Jinta, it's the Anti-Fairy Princess. Sivam, I think?"

"Well, don't just stand there, follow her! She might be going to Smaug."

"F-F-Follow her?"

"You're the spy, aren't you? Just come back if something bad happens."

"Right…" Mustering her courage, Ururu shrank and flew after the fairy. With fly-like speed, she bypassed the cliff a lot faster than she would on foot, but flying over the gaping Great Ridge was almost overwhelming to the Tiny Devil's heart. If she were knocked out of the air, her wings broken, she might never be found at the bottom of that darkness.

Ururu eventually began to see the gaping entrance to a cave come into view. As expected, Sivam flew inside it, so Ururu flew faster to keep up. Going inside the cave was like entering the mouth of a tremendous, hungry beast. Ururu had only Sivam to guide her, but she kept a safe distance behind the Anti-Fairy, fearing any enhanced senses she might have. Still, Ururu had to admit the fairy was beautiful in her own way. She was a big fan of bat wings on any attire; heck, she was flying with makeshift bat wings on her very suit.

Ururu gasped, immediately hiding behind a pebble when Sivam stopped and about-faced. Though her face bore a dimwitted expression, she thought she heard an annoying buzzing. Sivam hated bugs, no matter how inconsequential they were. Sivam took a whiff of the ash in the air and, "ACHOO!"

Her sneeze caused a stalactite to fall directly above Ururu. Her life flashed before her eyes; although she had plenty of time to dodge, she feared that Sivam would sense her movement. Sivam waited until the stone's tip made contact with the ground and shattered. "Ahhh, now I gots room for more snot." Sivam said with satisfaction, continuing onward. When no one said "bless you," Sivam's misfortune only increased.

However, tiny Ururu had thrown her fist up at just the right time, her super strength breaking the stalactite. "Owwww…" She rubbed her knuckles, praying she would get to treat them soon. Ururu kept flying, staying low to the ground and landing every few seconds to keep from being heard.

An echoing, monstrous snoring filled the air. Finally, they arrived at a massive temple that served as Smaug's lair, his nest in the form of a mountain of gold and jewels. "Yaaaaaawwwwwn…" The great dragon woke when an unpleasant smell hit his nose. It was the smell of someone who hadn't bathed in 6,000 years. His slit reptilian eyes fell upon the fairy in question. "Hello, Sivam. Is patrol going well?"

"I wish. Bellum got in a fight with some spirit operatives, but we ain't find anyone else weird. Give me a fire bath, Smaug."

"With pleasure." Smaug blew a gentle breath over Sivam, setting her ablaze.

"Ohhhhhhhhh yaaaaaaaaassssss." Sivam's dress burned off her blackened, bare body. "Like, fuck fairies all day, dragons are sooooo hooooot." She twirled in the air, and for a moment, Ururu shut her eyes from a hideous sight. Luckily, Sivam's hair blocked the back of her body, and she remained facing Smaug during this talk. "You're the absolute best, Smaugy."

"As are you, Sivy." Smaug closed his eyes as the fairy pressed herself to his snout, embracing in their warmth and coldness respectively.

"Are those two… seriously in love?" Ururu whispered.

"Still, I could never have imagined an ordinary human achieving such power."

"Finding Anti-Fairy World was a piece of cow pie, it's like they beg Ralava to barge into their turf. Then it was just a matter of finding this baby!" Sivam raised her wand, which had a white hilt, black jewel, and bat wings. "The Ztar Rod, source of misfortune in Anti-Fairy World. Any average Joe that tries to pluck it goes kerploop, but it found a strange liking to me. What REALLY sucked though is I became a smelly fairy."

"Yes… Even more unlucky that we dragons are impervious to magic."

"Yeh, but good thing my magic can help ya, too. I already cursed this whole planet with misfortune; breaking mirrors, going under ladders, spilling salt, stepping on cracks, we ain't gonna make living here easy! It'll take someone a whole lotta luck to hit your weak spot, but their luck ran out the second I set foot on the planet!"

"So, he has a weak spot." Ururu said, scanning the beast. "But where? He's covered in armor head to toe."

"Achoo!" Sivam sneezed, the force of her nostrils blowing some of the coins apart. Ururu gasped when a coin rolled her very direction, reacting on impulse to punch it away.

How unfortunate that Smaug caught sight of that very coin. It was such an unusual phenomenon to seemingly bounce off nothing. The dragon blew fire at that very spot, and Ururu dodged with a skip of her tiny heart. She took that as her cue to fly the heck out.

"Sivam, would you sneeze in that direction?"

"Okay?" The princess inhaled ash through her nose and, "ACHOO! ACHOO!" Small rocks fell in convenient places throughout the cave, narrowly missing Ururu.

"Somehow, I don't think those are merely insects." The dragon stormed down the cave, blasting flames.

Jinta grew worried when he saw flames burst from the cliffside. "Ururu, did something happen?!"

"Jinta-kun, get away from the cliff!"

"RAAAAAAHHH!" The dragon greeted the atmosphere with a cry, soaring above the cliff to view the mountain. Ururu returned and landed on Jinta's shoulder, the boy firmly clasping his giant baseball bat. The dragon's deathly gaze fell upon them. "Come to play ball with me, boy? Well, here comes the pitch." Smaug molded the flames in his lungs before coughing a meteor.