Numbuh Gamble

KND Newbase, two years ago (March 2034)

The Kids Next Door had amassed in the Convention Center to bare witness to another graduation ceremony. In light of the chaotic circumstances, the veterans found it amazing that new operatives were brave enough to join up, but it was nonetheless welcoming. "As Supreme Leader Numbuh 3621, I would like to personally congratulate our new line of cadets for passing training, and humbly welcome them to our great organization. Before we commence, our Newbase Computer Expert, Numbuh $ has an announcement for us."

Carol Masterson walked up to the podium with a confident aura. "As of this day, I will unfortunately be resigning from my position at Global Command. I am officially forming my own sector in Poshley Heights known as Sector $, built exclusively to young entrepreneurs like myself."

"YAAAaaaayy…!" The audience seemed to make half-hearted cheers.

"Eh… not as enthusiastic as usual." Carol said confusedly. "Uh, anyway, I already have a team of four operatives that have agreed to sign up. So, will Sector $ introduce their selves?!"

"Numbuh Inheritance, Ciel Phantomhive and President of Funtomhive Toy Company." Ciel picked a hair off and inserted it into the Code Module.

"Numbuh Spender, Pacifica Northwest of Gravity Falls!" Pacifica eagerly inserted her golden hair.

"Numbuh Allowance, Weiss Schnee, heiress to Schnee Dust!" Weiss submitted a strand of snowy hair.

"AAAAND…" The last boy submitted a traditional booger, "Numbuh Gamble, KOKICHI OMA! A dreaded pirate captain with a crew of 10,000 men!"

"Nah, all he does is pull harmless pranks in his hometown." Cheren mentioned.

"They are not harmless! That wet willy I gave my teacher was laced with poison~" Kokichi smiled wickedly, his skin and hair swapping colors.

"Heheheh. At any rate, let us welcome our new and wealthy sector! Do us proud, Sector $!"

"YAAAAAAY!"

"Enough with those phony-ass cheers!" Kokichi yelled. "Most of you are clearly jealous that we have the fanciest treehouse in the world!"

"We don't care what kind of treehouse you have." Lee Andrew argued.

"Your words say you don't, but your heart says otherwise~"

"Heheh, okay, you can tease them later, Kokichi." Cheren nudged him off the stage. "Let's call up the next recruits."

Sector $ Treehouse

"And this will be your room, Kokichi." Carol led her teammate to a casino-themed room with a bed resembling a pinball machine.

"Ehh, I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm afraid of developing a gambling addiction. Can we change it to, say, a sea theme instead?"

"Oh…" Carol frowned. "Then why did you call yourself Numbuh Gamble?"

"SEE, IT'S ALREADY HAPPENING!" He broke down crying. "WAH HA HA HA HAAAA!"

"Okay, calm down, calm down! I'll have this stuff sent back, it shouldn't cost much."

The next day, Carol brought Kokichi back to his room. "Whaddya think?!" she exclaimed, showing off the room as it resembled the seafloor, with hanging plastic fish, bubbles, and a jellyfish bed.

"Ehhh… Now that I'm seeing it in person, it doesn't suit me at all. I feel like I'll drown if I sleep in here. Can we go back to the casino theme?"

"OH, FOR PETE'S SAKE!"

Later, the five operatives and their butler were served tea in the mission prep room. "Okay, team," Carol began, "as leader, I looked over everyone's abilities and-"

"Eh ju-ju-just a second." Kokichi interrupted. "Who made you the leader?"

"Uh… I founded this sector, I was here first… I'm the leader."

"That may be true, but I think we have the right to vote. When you think about it, every one of us makes a good leader. Like Ciel! He owns his own company and he's super intelligent."

"Thank you." Ciel smiled.

"And Pacifica, she has amazing street smarts and social skills!"

"I do my best!" The Northwest proclaimed proudly.

"And Weiss, your quick thinking and talent with a sword is HAAAMAAAAZIIIIING!"

"Eh heh heh. Yeah, I guess so." Weiss blushed.

"You're all such talented people! I say we decide now who we think is the most talented. But just so we're not at each other's throats (looking at you, Sebastian), the vote has to be unanimous. So, point to the person you want to be leader!"

"ME!" Everyone pointed at their self, including Kokichi. (Except Sebastian, who voted Ciel.)

"Nee hee hee hee! Then I guess the war is on!" Kokichi beamed.

"Ugh… Let's get back to what I was talking about." Carol brushed it off.

…

A few days later, Kokichi treated himself to a bottle of lemon water. As soon as he turned away from the fridge, "HEY! Kokichi!"

"Wawawawa!" He jumped at Weiss's shout.

"Where the hell is my sword?! You said you only wanted to borrow it for a day, right?"

"Eheh, about that… The sword wasn't for me, it was for one of my buddies. They needed an extra skewer for a party they were hosting."

"WHAT?! That sword is an antique—my father wants me to use it for a show! Ugh, I'm going to KILL YOU!"

"HELP, POLICE! I've been threatened with murder!" Kokichi bolted down the hall.

"GET BACK HERE!"

…

The folks at the Sure Would Forest Senior Center were enjoying a pleasant game of bingo. There were memorial pictures of Lydia Gilligan, Sheldon, and Maurice. The entrance BURST open, the elderly panicking as Sector V charged in. "DROP THE ACT, you old crones!" Chris yelled.

"CHRIS?!" yelled Lizzie MayHence, one of the nurses. "What the devil do you think you're doing?!"

"We know you're holding Sector $ hostage!" Dillon stated. "And we know about your supercannon! You're trying to drain the youth of every kid in the nation just so you can live another 80 years!"

"SUPERCANNON?!?!" Lizzie bellowed in her classic tone. "Don't tell me Nigel's ghost came back and planted a Stupid Curse on all of you! There is no supercannon, so you BETTER be ready to pay for that wall!"

Chris held up his wristwatch and asked, "Kokichi, we're inside. Are you in position?!"

"Ohhhh, about that… I just realized the whole supercannon thing might have been a dream I had. My team just got back from the pool. Sorry. So sorry."

The group's faces paled at the revelation. With fearful hearts, they looked up at Lizzie, who was swelling with rage. "CHRIIIIIIS UNOOOOOOO!"

Fortunately, Carol helped pay the cost for Kokichi's prank, but he would continue to pull other nasty surprises with other sectors. He painted Anthony's feet to make him think he had an infection. He convinced Terry that he could awaken as a vampire by drinking George's blood, because according to him, albinos had "magic" blood. In two months, he earned a reputation as the "most-hated operative." Of course, it was believed he desired this hatred to make his darknessbending stronger.

His pranks became worse after Zach Murphy invited him to his Bo-bobo Club. Zach wanted to show him more "artistic" pranks and taught him the ways of Bo-bobo Kempo. Putting his new techniques to use, he had Anthony, Morgiana, and other shoeless operatives arrested by the "Shoe Police," forcing them to make a hundred deliveries around a Shoe Village in iron boots. He invited Jinta, Chris, and other strong operatives to a new muscle training seminar—literally, it consisted of sentient, beefy pairs of arms made of muscle fiber, who would use the operatives as jump-ropes.

"Maddy is my favorite operative!" he heard a civilian girl say one time. "She used to be prejudiced, but then she learned to accept other people!"

"I heard that Anthony used to bully Vweeb, but then he learned to understand Vweeb better and they became friends!" another girl said.

As Kokichi would later confirm, it was true that Maddy was no longer prejudiced. However, not only did Anthony despise Vweeb still, he hated the entire Kateenian race. Whatever that girl heard was a lie.

In truth, Kokichi mocked the KND's ideals of friendship. He has had bad experiences with people in the past. In First Grade, his kindhearted teacher gave him a 0% on a 12-question assignment. Each of them was marked wrong, but actually, only one of the answers was correct. The score should have been higher than zero. It was then Kokichi began to distrust teachers.

In Second Grade, Kokichi made friends with a boy who shared an interest in videogames. It was nothing remarkable, but they would always play together at recess and visit each other's houses. But near the end of the school year, the boy began to turn down their play dates and make excuses. Most of those excuses were lies, but Kokichi accepted them, anyway. All he could deduce was that his friend began to resent Kokichi for no specified reason, so in time, they simply stopped talking.

"Kokichi, I know you're just playing around, but you need to stop with all the pranks." His mother told him. "You're not going to make any friends that way."

"Liar," he thought. "You don't care if I make friends, you only care about your own social standing."

However, if there was one thing Kokichi's parents loved about him, it was his talent in gambling. They would lend Kokichi about 50 yen a day so he could play at the casino, and he would come home with a small fortune. His parents would sometimes exploit his talent to improve their social standing, and it was a better substitute for pranks.

These were small things, yes, and nothing especially tragic happened to Kokichi, but his Dark Chi amplified his inner thoughts. He grew up with the belief that friendship and Trust were an illusion. He believed that people put on a fake mask of kindness that slowly came off the more time they spent with someone. All people were liars, and that was the truth. But what frustrated him was that people would never admit to this fact.

So, he sought to uncover everyone's hidden feelings. By pranking numerous people and angering them, he was able to look into their hearts. The only person who was lucky enough to hear this truth was Cheren Uno.

"For example, Cheren, I know that Mason is sick of Dillon, Aranea hates working with Anthony, Terry dislikes both George AND Miyuki, MaKayla detests Lola's vampire habits, and Apis thinks you demon hybrids are sins of nature. And you know Lee Andrew? He acts all upset about his sister's death, but actually, he's thankful because his team doesn't tease him, anymore."

"Kokichi, is the only reason you joined the KND just to find dirt on my operatives?" Cheren asked.

"Of course not! My goal is to make the world a better place!" His eyes were shining with passionate dreams. "But seriously, if it wasn't for the KND, none of these people would ever wanna spend time with each other. They all hate each other!"

"Look, even if you're right, so what? The KND's job isn't to like people, it's to save people and stop crises. Of course we're not going to like everyone, of course we might get tired of some people, but all that really matters is you fulfill your role in the team and quit being such a nuisance!"

"Hey, if your operatives can't enjoy a good laugh every now and then, they're just plain childish. They fought gigantic monsters and overpowered villains, had their homes destroyed or family die, but if they treat my harmless pranks like a horrible travesty, then they're just terrible at taking jokes! Seriously, the worst!"

"My operatives don't wanna be pranked right now, and they certainly don't want some nosy kid pointing out their personal problems. I know Zach seems to like you, but I don't think you should see him for a while."

"But we're buddies! ! He even gave me this rad tongue tattoo! Ahhh…" He showed his tongue.

"What tattoo, I don't see any-" Cheren leaned over the desk—Kokichi leaned up and licked his cheek.

"NOW YOU HAVE IT, TOO! PLAH HAHAHAHAHAHA!" His chair fell backward and he began dying of laughter, legs jiggling in the air.

An angry Cheren stomped over, pulled him up, and smacked him. "Kokichi, you're going back to Arctic Base for disciplinary training!"

"Moi?! I can't just leave my team to fend for themselves, I'm an integral member!"

"They already agreed to this beforehand because they're sick of receiving complaints. It was a unanimous decision."

"Even Sebastian?"

"Yes, him too."

"…" Kokichi bore a blank expression. True, he didn't expect any different, but he figured, just for a moment, they would've talked with him first. "Well, all they did was prove me right!" He grinned.

…

"Alright troublemakers," began Marcus Drilovsky, "you have 10 minutes to load your haul across the snowfield or it's 1,000 push-ups! And I better not see any horseplay, sabotage, dropping your load, or what-have-you! GO!"

Kokichi and nine other operatives were forced to carry giant snowballs on their backs across the snow. To his right, a rather large boy who could have easily been an adult, and to his left, a rather short, young girl with black pigtails. "Well, here's a fun way to spend our Saturday! Here I thought I was the most-hated operative."

"My dad used to be a supervillain called 'Big Brother.'" said the big guy. "My sector didn't like me and they spread bad rumors to my neighborhood. I got sick of it, so I started beating people up."

"Sounds like you deserved it." the little girl remarked.

"Yeah, what about you, shorty?" Kokichi asked. "What did a tiny little girl like you do that was so bad?"

"I'm 14 years old, for your information!" she stated. "My name is Ashley and I'm a transfer from Mushroom. My magic school wanted us to study abroad, so I thought it easier to transfer KNDs, too. I was in Sector TD, but I didn't get along with my leader, Sakura. I went to her school and she always showed off in class. Everyone wanted to hang out with her instead of me. I tried to get peoples' attention by pulling pranks, like turning a teacher into a spoon… and now I'm here. Dumb, show-offy…"

"My name's Edna." A slightly taller girl with orange puffy hair (with three longer strands sticking out) spoke next. "I like to scam kids in my hometown with my own hand-made products. I only wanna buy some jawbreakers, come on!"

"Yeah, well wait'll you hear my story." said a kid who looked like a disguised alien. "My name is Bobby Miller. I got in trouble for tying kids to shopping carts and making a pretend roller-coaster. It's always been my dream to build my own-"

"You're lying and you're an alien in a wig, alright NEXT."

They each took turns sharing their backgrounds. Either they were naughty pranksters or troubled kids venting their anger, but nonetheless, Kokichi found a kinship with them. Marcus would learn it was a mistake on his part to have all these troublemakers together.

"Hey Ashley, do you know a spell that can turn hot chocolate into hot lemon?" Kokichi asked.

"Pfft, we learn that spell in first grade. I even know how to make it stir up your bladder."

"Perfect! I have a job for you."

One day, when the delinquents were out training, Marcus fixed himself some hot chocolate from his choice container. As soon as he put his tongue to the nourishing cup—"UUUULP!" An unbelievable sour taste overcame him. "B-Bathroom!" Marcus raced to the bathroom—"WHAT THE FRICK?!" The room was completely buried in ice. He ran around in search of a good bathroom, but they were all frozen! His only option was to check the prison wing, and fortunately, there was an empty cell with a toilet. "Finally!!"

But while he was busy doing his business, "Bobby Miller" shot him in the neck with a tranquilizer dart. He swapped clothes with Marcus and went out to greet the cadets.

"Good afternoon, trainees! Today's training will be a cooking exercise. Everyone has to follow this recipe and make the best damn brownies this side of the South Pole." He passed papers out to all the confused cadets. "They're gonna be sent to the big sectors, so don't mess up. Ingredients are all in the kitchen. First one finished gets a back massage!"

…

"WHAT THE HELL IS WITH YOU BRATS?!" Marcus bellowed at the troublemakers. "You poisoned my chocolate, froze all my bathrooms, knocked me out cold, and sent brownies full of itching powder to ALL our best sectors in MY NAME!! Half my cadets quit out of humiliation! Forget disciplinary training, you all deserve an indefinite suspension from the Kids Next Door!"

"Chillax, the powder's only going to last for one week." Kokichi assured. "Nobody got hurt."

"SUSPENDED!"

"FINE! We don't need to pull pranks on you humorless whiners, anyway! The world is just FULL of people BEGGING for a laugh at their expense! From this day forward, we are known as D.I.C.E. (Despicably Ingenious Cool Evildoers)!"

With approval from their own sectors, the 10 troublemakers were suspended from the KND, but they were not downtrodden. Using 4x4 materials that they "purchased," they built a pirate ship and sailed to various towns, pulling pranks on the residents. The wicked members of D.I.C.E. would terrorize ships and settlements with confetti cannons, assaulting people with balloon swords, and robbing people of their pants. Edna would sneak into towns and set up sales booths, selling faulty products to earn money for her crew. Of course, they didn't bother the KND, and the latter did not concern their selves with a petty, harmless threat. For the rest of the year through February 2035, the Dice Pirates enjoyed their games. But one day, the KND was able to locate them, and Cheren personally visited Kokichi on their ship.

"You know, your suspension was up after one month, you guys. …We, uh, sent letters saying you could come back."

"Eh, we never really felt interested." Kokichi replied in a laid back manner.

"Yeah! Hehe, I've been having a lot of fun with these guys." Big Boy said.

"We nicked so many quarters!!" Edna exclaimed.

"Besides, we would've been thrown right back to that work camp." Ashley rolled her eyes.

"But didn't you say you wanted to make the world a better place?" Cheren asked.

"That was a lie. To be honest, I'm perfectly fine with the world as it is. So, uh, just go ahead and remove my booger from the Module. That fine with the rest of you? Last chance if you wanna go back to your old friends."

"Eh, they were boring, anyway." Ashley said.

"I'm good here." Big Boy followed.

One by one, every other crewmate rejected Cheren's offer. "And there you have it! We gave the KND a shot, didn't like it, now we're pirates. So, go on, get. Nobody misses us, anyway."

"Your team misses you."

Kokichi frowned slightly, having been taken off-guard a tad. "Yeah? Then why didn't they look for me?"

"It was only recently they thought about you. I think they wanna give you another chance. At least Carol in particular feels bad about sending you away."

"Well, they're shit out of luck because I haven't changed at all."

"And there's something else I wanted to show you." Cheren withdrew a newspaper and handed it to him.

The paper was from Intergalactic News and talked about a band of pirates stealing landmasses. "Sky God Pirates?"

"Yeah, they just recently became famous. We don't know much about them, but they've stolen a town from Japan and places from other worlds, and they've got a ton of strong members. Whoever they are, they seem dangerous, and the KND is afraid to get close to them. There's a chance they might become our enemy. Top that with everything else we've been dealing with, we can't afford to lose any operatives. That's why I would like you all to come back, too." The leader looked around at all the pirates. "Even if you don't like your sectors or they don't like you, every operative is valuable. You're still important to the organization, and we're grateful to have you."

"…" Kokichi couldn't think of a good comeback. "Can we have a day to talk it over?"

"Yeah, sure." Cheren spared a smile. He climbed back on his R.O.A.D.S.T.A.R. and flew away.

Kokichi looked down at the paper again. "This Skaios guy actually seems pretty fun. Maybe we oughta give him a call."

"Give him a call, what do you mean by that?" asked a tall, lanky member.

"I mean, just imagine all the pranks we can pull if we had that kind of firepower at our behest. We wouldn't have to go to school and we can get back at the KND and everything!"

"But I didn't wanna get back at the KND." Big Boy said.

"Oh, you won't say that after you hear this amazing idea for a prank I have!"

"Fine." Ashley eye-rolled. "Let's hear it."

The 10 pirates huddled together in a tight circle. Ashley was in the middle of it, being so small. Kokichi began whispering his plan. After he was finished, the crewmen shared bedazzled expressions. "Ya…You really think we could pull that off?"

"It sounds really complicated." Edna said.

"Yeah, it is." Kokichi sighed in sadness. "Maybe this is going too far. I guess we'll just stick to our mediocre pranks."

"B-But, I…" Big Boy hesitated a moment, "I wanna give it a shot."

"Yeah, me too!" Edna followed.

"Eh… why not?" Ashley shrugged.

"Well, I got nothin' to lose!" 'Bobby' said.

"Nee hee hee! Glad you're all in agreement. Then we better get ready to say good-bye!"

KND Convention Center; the next day

"Thank you, Kids Next Door, for taking time out of your busy schedules to be here today." Cheren announced to his loyal operatives in the stadium. "The reason I called you here is because ten of our operatives have something they'd like to say. Kokichi Oma… you have the floor."

The stadium was quiet with suspicion as the despicable boy took his place at the podium. The only one smiling was Carol, happy to see her teammate coming back, whilst the other three retained their hopes until they heard his announcement. "You guys may not remember me, but I'm a lovable prankster who wanted nothing more than to spread joy and laughter to my fellow operatives."

"Yeah, joy and laughter. SURE ya did." Anthony remarked.

"However, it had become apparent to me that my attempts to bring joy instead brought sorrow and anger to my favorite people. And that's why, I believe the time has come for an apology."

"Sounds like my kinda guy." Karin approved. "Alright then. Let's hear it."

"Hear what?"

"The apology? Duh."

"Great! I'm all ears." Kokichi grinned.

"Huh?!" Carol became confused.

"YOU'RE all going to apologize to ME! You're gonna apologize to Ashley, and 'Bobby,' and Big Boy, and all these other poor clowns whose feelings you hurt!"

"Uh, Kokichi," Cheren began, "you wanted me to call this meeting because you said you wanted to-"

"That was a LIE, Cherry Cake. Don't you know me at all?"

"The hell are you saying?!" Melody shouted. "YOU'RE the ones who pranked us, where's YOUR apology?!"

"I thought you guys were fired months ago!" Lee Andrew followed. "Cheren, is this some kinda joke?! Why'd you invite us just for this crud?"

"GET OUT, you Psycho Clowns!" Grenda bellowed.

"GET LOST, GET LOST, GET LOST, GET LOST!"

"Yeah?!" Kokichi grew angry. "Well, how 'bout I respond to that with a song of my own! Ahem…" He began doing a sexy dance. "Ah don't need you to love me… I love me. I don't need yo' respect, man… I respect me, man. But you can learn to love me… if you change your miiiiiiiind… If you change your miiiiiiiiiind… If you change your mind…"

The operatives stared at him with confusion. His voice didn't sound genuine at all. "Oh, that's right, you guys WON'T change your mind, because if an opinion is popular enough, it might as well be a fact! And the popular opinion is that Kokichi is a terrible person. Who here doesn't have an unpopular opinion they would defend to the death?! Who here has a favorite game that everyone else hates, or they hate a show that everyone else loves? How many of you can't stand your own teammates?! I know that some of you are racist, or sexist, and some of you even think the KND is a waste of time. Why don't you be honest with yourselves and say it?! Oh, wait, because you want your friends to like you. That's why you pretend to be good people who love everyone."

The operatives hated his words and didn't want to agree at all… and yet, they had no way to argue. "I may not be a good person, but at least I'm honest with myself about it. But you're all no different from me! There's a hundred people you wanna see pranked and have a bad day! And in a hundred years, the Kids Next Door will be factually recognized as the good guys. WELL, I REJECT THE KIDS NEXT DOOR! I believe there are NO absolute truths, so I reject all things popular! I won't let you all go down in history as 'noble people.' I'm going to reveal ALL your secrets to the world!"

"You're bluffing!" Chris shouted. "Even if that junk were true about us, how would you ever know?!"

"Because I'm a professional liar, Chrissie-poo." Kokichi swapped skin and hair colors. "Nothing is more precious to a person than their reputation. You people are idolized, not only by fellow operatives, but by society, all because you keep your true ideals to yourselves. Some of you believe, with a logical argument, that merpeople are awful, or that airbenders suck, either through a bad experience or something else, and even if society tells you you're wrong, you won't let go of those thoughts unless something naturally changes your mind. Of course, it's not wrong to feel such thoughts, but you know if you come out with them, popular culture will hate you. THEN where will the KND be, huh?! No matter how many times you save the universe, media will portray you as bad guys just to comfort the people you 'offended'!"

"Kokichi, this isn't a joke, you know!" Cheren stated. "In a few months, we'll have to fight The Thirteen, and we're really stressed about it. How are my operatives going to focus with you threatening their reputation?!"

"I say we just grab 'em and throw them in the Decommissioner!" Aranea shouted.

"Bad idea!" Kokichi smirked. "I specifically ordered one of my friends to publish all your dirty secrets to the world if I don't call in one hour. So, if you want to still live peaceful lives after this, you better listen! As of this day, Kokichi and his friends are LEAVING the KND and joining the Sky God Pirates! We're taking our pranks to the next level, and if you try to stop us, your social lives are ruined!"

"Who the bloody heck are the Sky God Pirates?" Sheila asked.

"I heard they were a dangerous group that's been terrorizing planets recently." Haylee replied.

"The bottom line is, as long as I live, your peaceful lives are in danger." Kokichi continued. "If people know all your negative opinions on others, your friendships and social lives will fall apart. However, I understand you have bigger problems to worry about, so I don't want you to worry. I mean, it would sure be annoying if you all decide to hunt me down. Ashley, Roger!"

"OBLIVIATE MAXIMA!" Ashley thrusted her wand skyward, and Roger touched it to imbue his Time Chi. A great wave of blue magic swept over the stands, the operatives mesmerized by its feel. Anything relating to Kokichi, Ashley, or the other D.I.C.E. members faded from their memories. D.I.C.E. themselves, however, wore clown masks that had protective charms to shield themselves from the spell.

The KND was in a daze by the time D.I.C.E. escaped on their flying pirate ship. "I was able to erase all the footage the security cameras had of us." Lanky said. "Hopefully, there's no trace of us."

"Of course, if I end up dying or something, the Memory Charm is gonna wear off." Ashley mentioned. "But if not that, strong memories are easy to recall. Whether they're of people you love, or people you hate with all your spite."

"It's not that they hated us," Kokichi replied, "but we're the kind they would rather forget entirely. They don't want to believe we have dirt on them. To them, we're just nuisances that are best left ignored. That's why they won't remember us until we want them to. And when they do remember us, it'll be too late! WAH HA HA HAAAA!"

Following through with their vow, the Dice Pirates tracked down the Sky Gods. Skaios requested them to play their games: kart-racing, Turf War, colosseum combat, and virtual obstacle courses. They proved their selves worthy to join the Yonko's crew, and Kokichi was even rewarded a Devil Fruit befitting himself as a gambler. About a month working for the crew, he became close friends with a girl named Monaca…

"Hey heeeey, Monaca!" Kokichi sang as the crippled girl rolled into his dining room.

"Good evening, Kokichi! Monaca is so honored that you invited her for dinner."

"What are friends for, am I right?" They sat at opposite ends of the table. It wasn't long after they started eating that Kokichi asked, "And speaking of friends… how's Mandy doing?"

The girl stared at him with a quizzical look. Kokichi's skin and hair had swapped colors. "Ufufu! Monaca has NO idea what you're talking about!"

"It's okay, Monaca, we can be honest with each other! After all… I have secrets of my own."

"Oh? Do tell, Kokichi."

"You see, I used to be a KND operative before I fled to this crew. Little did they know that, all along, I merely wanted to learn all their dirty secrets. In case something happens to me or my crew… I would like someone to confide these secrets. And if you do… I'll keep yours."

"Hmmm… if that is what you wish, Monaca will happily listen." She folded her fingers in a polite manner.

Current time; Ice Cream Mountain

Miyuki finished telling the tale and let go of Kokichi's hand. Sector $ still found it utterly baffling. This guy… was seriously their former teammate? "And if you still don't believe me, Carol!" he pointed at her, "You don't think Lilliputians deserve the same rights as big people and that they make good servants."

"I-I do not!" Carol blushed.

"Pacifica, you want all the creatures of Gravity Falls to be captured and put in a zoo; Ciel, you think Pacifica is a disgraceful excuse for a woman, and Weiss, you may be ashamed of your father, but you ALSO think Faunus and Mobians are smelly and gross! But don't worry, I won't tell Adam."

"But you…" Weiss stuttered for a bit, "w-why are you telling us now?"

"Yeah…" Carol rubbed her forehead. "My mind is hazy, but now that you're telling us all this… it does feel familiar. But if it's really true, why are you reminding us?"

"Because now that we're directly fighting each other, I'm sending you a little warning. I refuse to let the KND be the 'heroes' in this war. If the KND win, I'm going to do what I promised and expose all your secrets. I'm going to reveal that Nagisa is homophobic, that Jinta loves it when girls gang up on him, and hell, one of your operatives is a traitor!"

"Wait, what?!"

"But Sector V, on the other hand, they already doomed themselves. I knew for a long time that their belief in the KND was dwindling; they only stayed in the organization this long because they thought it was their responsibility. But I can't BELIEVE they straight-up signed their selves away to the Sky Gods! Hah hah hah, 'alliance' my ass, they just wanted to side with the winning team! As soon as their friends are rescued, they just wanna go home and forget all about it! BOY, won't their fans be crushed when they find out?!"

Immediately, Pacifica grabbed his arms in chains, and Weiss slipped behind and tipped a sword to his neck. "I think someone needs his OWN memory wiped." Pacifica stated. "We're taking you with us!"

"You guys really don't know anything, do you?"

"INCOMING!" Raleigh yelled when a swarm of Monokumas and White Seals dropped down on ropes. The Kumas sliced Pacifica's energy chains with their claws and a seal shot at Weiss with a gun, prompting her to defend. Kokichi slipped away, whipped out his Dark Gun, and shot both Miyuki and Suki in the head. "EEAAAH!" the latter cried, falling over.

"My Dark Bullets didn't hurt them, but they've been briefly chi-blocked." Kokichi quickly ran to slap backpacks on the Crystals. Large star-shaped balloons (Fulton STARS) inflated and uplifted them to the sky. Ciel tried to shoot and pop them, only to be kicked by Kokichi, and the liar proceeded to shoot down Raleigh's Magnemite.

"Grrr!" Carol grunted, running from the Kumas as she programmed Game-and-Watch to fight them. "Hey, Sasha, can't you help us out?!" she pled with the giant.

"Ooooog…" Unfortunately, Sasha was exhausted due to losing too much blood from her severed arm.

"Yeesh, that looks like a tough wound to heal." Kokichi said. "Still, nothing wrong with an extra prisoner. Seals, Fulton the giant, too!"

The White Seals leapt around Sasha's body, sticking backpacks on as multiple balloons were able to lift the titan to the heavens. They also flipped onto her severed arm and rode it up as it was Fultoned. "It was always my dweam to fwy on a giant arm." a seal said adorably.

"So long, Sector $!" Kokichi called, flying away on his own Fulton STAR. "Y'all are going to make the headline, and NOT in a good way! Neeeee hee hee hee heeeeee!"

"Quick, in the balloon!" Ciel yelled, the five jumping back in their Pichu balloon. Kokichi and the others had quickly ascended to a flying ship, which then sailed toward a floating island. "Curses, we'll never catch up to them like this. The mission's a failure, return to the ship!"

"We have another problem, guys!" Pacifica pointed. "There's another giant coming!"

The giant in question seemed to be a liquid mass resembling a man with a top-hat, followed by several beer-powered ships driven by Chumba-Wumbas. "That man is Pawtucket Pat, the Snack Division Commander!" Ciel exclaimed. "According to the reports, he's a Logia waterbender. We have to get away from him!"

…

"Commander Pat," said one of the Chumbas, "we just got a call sayin' Sasha floated up to the Sky Gods' ships."

"Dammit! Send word to the Cotton Cloud Cruisers, orders are to seize the Sky God ships and recover Sasha! Ah, that balloon up there isn't one of ours!" Spotting the Pichu balloon, the beer titan lashed an extended arm.

The Luxury Crew screamed, the arm unavoidable, but Raleigh bellowed for his Magnemite to Thunder Shock, the electrical current traveling down the liquid and shocking Pawtucket's massive body. "BZZZZZZZ!"

"Slurpuff, use Fairy Wind to help us move faster!" Raleigh summoned said Pokémon, the Slurpuff hopping on the edge of the balloon and blowing wind in the opposite direction, flying the balloon as fast as it could. "The rest of you, help hold back the giant!" He summoned his Electric Pokémon as the four of them struck lightning down at Pat.

The titan swiftly evaded the bolts and spat beer globs up with bullet speed, Weiss countering them with icicles. The ships also shot Beer Bills (Bullet Bills resembling beer cans), which Ciel looked out for and shot with his own bullets. "Where the HELL have you rotten brats taken my niece?!"

"Is he talking about Sasha?" Raleigh asked.

"Who else is giant like he is?!" Pacifica remarked.

"They're all coming from the shore!" Ciel observed. "We'll never be able to get in the submarine with them around. Lola, this is Ciel." He faced his wristwatch. "Listen, we need you to activate the submarine and drive it away from the mountain, we'll try to get away from these guys and contact you afterwards."

"Okay, I'll try my best. Did you get Miyuki?"

"No, she was taken by the Sky Gods. In fact, there's something bizarre we need to tell you afterwards."

Rescue Miyuki: MISSION FAILED. MINUS 10,000 POINTS.

Free Kingdom; near Goldpaw Island

Sasha woke up with a groggy moan. With stars glistening in the sky, she was on a massive platform, tethered to several Sky God ships. Guns and cannons were trained on the giant from all directions. She couldn't even move from being glued to the platform via a thick, swollen substance. But when she glanced left, a tiny human girl appeared to be sewing her arm back into place. "Oh? Hey, you're awake." The girl smiled at her. "My name's Haruka! I've been able to reattach your arm, but you shouldn't get too reckless with it. Hehe, it was a lot to clean up, just let me say."

"Mmmm… thanks." Sasha passed her a smile and faced up at the sky again. She could barely remember anything before she had passed out… though she felt like there was something important on her mind… but what was it?

Kokichi's crew had locked Miyuki and Suki in a cell on their flagship, chi-blocks binding them. "Our orders were to rescue you, but we can't have you running around causing a mess. Ideally, you two will swear to absolute freedom like your Raccoon buddies. I'm sure the icebender could adapt easily."

"Can we at least have ice cream?" Suki asked.

"Kokichi, wait!" Miyuki called just as the boy turned to leave. "…Is what you said before true? When you mentioned a traitor? What did you mean?"

"…" He showed her half his face and crescent smile. "Many of your operatives are unhappy with the KND. When they speak false praise of it, a cloud of darkness emanates from their hearts. And one of these operatives has bigger darkness than any other. With this person, they aren't just unhappy with the KND… they would sooner see it torn down. I would even go far as to say they're plotting its downfall."

"Who? Who is it?"

"It would be no fun if I tell you! After all, I want the KND's downfall, too. Whatever this person is planning, maybe we could be allies!" He faced forward again. "Yet, as big as their darkness was, they were trying all they could to suppress it. It would only take one tiny push to make them unleash it! Nee hee hee heeeee!"