Loose and Draw

Free Kingdom; Alcamoth

Alcamoth was a mechanical island populated by the Entia, a tribe of humanoids with large angel wings growing from their heads. Because the town was already elevated above the ground in its homeworld, it was easy for Skaios to uplift it, regardless of the town's protective barrier. However, the barrier still proved useful to protect the citizens from the wrath of the Hyruleans, though many had taken refuge in their homes.

Katniss surveyed the town from the palace roof, squatted and holding a phone to her ear. "Dio, do you read me? Alcamoth is still safe. The Boogeys can't get in, and I have Star Knights everywhere just in case. What's the situation on Evermore?"

"Kokichi used his 'authority' to banish the Hyruleans off of Evermore, so it's safe for now. He's done the same for Goldpaw; perhaps we should arrange a way to move the citizens to those two islands."

"Wait a minute… something's happening." Katniss noticed an upper corner of the barrier crack. Her heart raced in worry, wondering who could have discovered a weakness, if any.

With her keen vision, she saw a hole open for a brief second before resealing, but three figures had already fallen in. "Aaaaaaaahhhhh!" Mason, Sheila, and Tani were plunging straight into the town.

"What?! How did those three…" Katniss called another number on her phone, "Benjamin, three people just broke through the barrier! Isn't it on maximum power?!"

"Sorry, Kitty Katswell, Benjamin took the day off. No laws against that in our Free Kingdom!" a girl's voice remarked.

"Who the hell is this?!"

"The Sugar Squad! Get wrecked, bitch!" a boy's voice retorted.

"Wait a second, you're Dillon and Vanellope! What's the meaning of this?!"

"Katniss, I have to go!" Dio's voice said. "Doflamingo just showed up, he's tearing up the town!"

"Wait, Doffy's there?! Come on, Vanel!" Dillon ushered.

"Wait—both of you—UGH!" Katniss groaned in agony. "STAR KNIGHTS, STOP THE INTRUDERS! I'll take them myself if I have to!" She became a Mockingjay and flew down.

…

"Blimey, don't this island look a beaut?" Sheila gazed around Alcamoth in wonder. "I bet ya a lot of rich types live here."

"Not that it matters in Trainwreck Kingdom." Tani remarked. "We won't have to worry about the Boogeys breaking through the barrier, so we'll have these knights all to ourselves."

"Then let's have the first serve!" Mason declared. (Play "Meta Knight's Revenge" from Smash Brawl!)

Stage 35: Alcamoth

Mission: Wreck the town like good pirates do!

Since the kids landed near a hedge garden, Tani brutishly used her plantbending to uglify the hedges. The bushes shaped like Entia acquired half-slit heads and ripped pelvises, and the knight hedges were shaped to pose like their nuts had been cracked. But as an act of vengeance, Sword Knights leapt out of some bushes, Tani engaging them with her spear. Sheila punched spheres at their sides, weakening them to where Tani could knock their weapons away, and afterwards will the hedge statues into grabbing and bashing the knights on the ground.

The trio bypassed the garden and to a calm, clear moat, with a boat available. Rather than row, the force of Sheila's thrown spheres would push them the opposite direction, but electric fences rose from the water to create less room for the intruders. White Seals came sailing over on floaties, biting swords in their mouths as they flipped onto the boat to battle, but Tani easily hit their swords away and kicked the seals in the water. There were light poles stationed around the moat, in which the tops were a pitchfork shape. Bow Knights were stationed on the poles and shooting arrows, Tani sniping them with archery of her own. They parked the boat beside a platform, since the route was otherwise blocked by fences, and they could jump other platforms over said electric fences. The platforms would rise and sink, so they jumped accordingly. They would be led to a walkway connected to a larger platform with eight lamp poles around it.

"Tani, help! I've been captured!"

"Evan?!" Tani recognized the voice, looking around. "Where are you, how did you get here?!"

"I'll explain, just help! I'm just a bit ahead!"

"Hold on!" Tani hurried forward, but as soon as she was between the eight poles, an electric barrier sealed her in.

"Perfect." She looked up, seeing Katniss revert to her human form while perched on a pole.

"You again!" Tani readied her bow. "I can't believe I let you trick me again! This is for my father!"

Sub-boss: White Lotus Archer, KATNISS EVERDEEN

Katniss leapt between the street lamps, evading Tani's bow and shooting her from each one. The princess had to jump far-enough away to avoid their explosions, watching Katniss's movements carefully. When she anticipated the next lamp she would jump to, Tani shot an arrow above it, but Katniss became a Mockingjay and flew to a different one. Katniss repeated her pattern, but this time, Tani shot an arrow at the bulb of the lamp Katniss jumped to, causing electricity to shoot up through the fork and zap her. Katniss fell off, leaving herself vulnerable to a few blows from Tani's Haki spear.

Katniss flew to the poles again, shooting ice arrows down to make the floor more slippery. Tani stabbed her spear in the ice, and it was able to stand itself as she jumped onto the hilt, then up to a light pole. She jumped to another when Katniss shot that light to make electricity shoot up, Tani doing the same to her pole. Katniss dodged and became a bird, flying at Tani and changing back to kick her off. Tani fell back, but she had tied vines to the pole and around her ankles, causing her to hang upside-down and quickly shoot an arrow at Katniss's leg, the woman splashing in the moat.

The barrier disabled, allowing the trio to continue past. They hopped more platforms as Bow Knights shot them from a distance, riding speedboats. This made it more difficult to shoot them, but Tani managed. The platforms led to a path leading inside the island, and the interior seemed to be a shopping center. Hundreds of Star Knights readied to attack the intruders, and Entia had secluded their selves to the shops.

"Attention all Angel-Head People!" Vanellope's voice rang from the intercom. "Are you tired of living under the oppression of the Sky God Pirates?!"

The Entia were confused by this announcement. Did that mean this was some sort of rebellion? "Your confusion tells me 'yes'! Today is the day the Sky Gods fall, and your kingdom is freed! I mean, unfreed! By which I mean… look, if you wanna go back to your homeworld, help beat up all the Sky Gods."

"We get to go home?!" a man exclaimed.

"Will we see Princess Melia again?!" a woman asked.

"YAAAAAAAAH!" The Will of Rebellion became the Entia, who grabbed whatever high-tech weapons at their disposal and started to beat the knights into scrap! Unfortunately, the crowds became so cluttered that the trio had no way to get through, until Mason led them to a bench on the left, from which they could jump onto a glass case with Entia armor. There was no other place to jump to, until Sheila called attention to the knights being flung up and down. Those knights were just large enough to serve as platforms, and if Sheila could make it look fun, then obviously Mason had to, and Tani found joy in it as well!

The Javelin Knights were spared the torment; there were red androids with four rotating balls on their bottoms, which allowed them to float above the danger and slash flaming spears. Mason burped Gas Bombs, which exploded against the flames and blasted the knights down. They jumped to clamber along some hanging banners, though Sheila noticed a bouncing treasure chest below her feet and dropped onto it. She sucked the treasure into her Infi-Cube while staying balanced on the chest, afterwards re-grabbing the banner. They landed on a knight that was being thrown in an arch, and they jumped to another one, but the top of this one's arch had a spiked lantern, which they ducked under. From there, they jumped to a knight that was bouncing vertically, but it then began to bounce toward a stairwell, until one Entia punched them so high that they almost hit a spiked lantern, but they slid off and landed on the stairs just in time!

The stairs led up to an enormous, ominous chamber that seemed like the inside of a palace, with several support beams, huge ceiling lanterns, and a fountain with a mural between twin stairs. "OI, AIN'T ANYONE HERE?!" Sheila yelled for the sake of an echo. "WHOA!" An arrow shot by her feet.

Katniss was seen by a support pillar, having been saved from drowning by some crewmen. Tani charged at the woman, but Katniss flew across the vast chamber and behind another pillar. The tweet of a Mockingjay was heard, followed by many more, as Mockingjays flew around the room. Confusion filled Tani, trying to make out the real one from these birds, until a Shock Arrow hit her from behind. Tani recovered from her stun and turned, but Katniss had blended in with the birds again. Water dripped on Tani from one of them; apparently, Katniss was still wet from outside, or at least sweaty. Tani noticed a Mockingjay that was glinting slightly from wetness, and she watched it go behind a pillar. She readied her bow, and as soon as Katniss peeked out, Tani landed a shot!

The Mockingjays flew at a higher altitude, and whenever Katniss wanted to shoot, she would do so while falling, and quickly change back. It became harder for Tani to locate the wet bird, but she did notice a trail of tiny blood droplets. She followed the drops as they were forming, glancing up and down until Katniss changed back right above her. They both shot an arrow, Katniss's stomach being stabbed, along with Tani's hip. The Lotus archer decided to flee the chamber to get treated. "Tani, look! There's a cage up there." Sheila pointed up at a cage behind a ceiling lantern, barely noticeable from this view.

Tani used her pro sniping to shoot a Haki arrow up at the cage and break it open. "Waaaah-!" A man in a blue hat and shirt fell out, but Sheila punched a sphere up to break his fall. "OW! …Tani, is that you?"

"Oz!" Tani recognized the security guard. "I'm glad you're safe. Wanna join us in the rebellion?"

"I don't see why not!"

"You can rebel in here!" Sheila shoved him into the cube without warning. The trio proceeded outside, running into a balcony area. Mace Knights whirled their weapons around and launched them with supreme extendibility, but a counter-punch from Sheila's spheres made their weapons backfire. An electric barrier blocked them on the left, but they could head rightward, with only Shield Knights to block them. Sheila's or Tani's attacks could not penetrate the shields, but Mason could launch Gas Bombs over to blast the knights' soft rears. They fell forward, so Sheila proceeded to smash them before pressing ahead.

This route would take them along a wide, scenic walkway going around the front edge of the town, just under a glass dome protecting it. This would be a great place to have a race, and that's just what the Trident Knights thought as they zoomed from the distance, aiming to impale the kids with said weapons. Tani could shoot their heads before they got close, and with some good timing on Sheila's part, she could send spheres around the sides to knock them down, followed by Gas Bombs from her mate. Halfway across the walkway, they discovered a hole in the glass and some dripped blood, and figured Katniss escaped through here. However, they decided to explore the remainder of the walkway.

At the end of it, a bald, muscular, shirtless man was breathing fire at Morpho Knight, a red knight with butterfly wings and Meta Knight's proportions. The knight absorbed the man's fire on his sword and slashed a flame wave, but Sheila ran to kick the man out of the way, suffering the hit herself. The man wondered who these kids were, but decided to accept their help. Mason shot gas that exploded against the knight, and through the smoke, Sheila punched rapid Light Fists, the knight blocking some, but taking some hits. Morpho leapt to slash Mason, but Tani blocked with her spear, and Sheila leapt to Ground Pound and KO the knight.

"Thanks for the help." The man said. "Name's Jumbo. Do you kids know Doflamingo?"

"Oh… yeah." Mason nodded meekly. "We saved another one of you guys earlier. He's in this cube, we'll take you to find Doffy soon."

"Sounds good enough to me." Jumbo jumped in. With that, the group returned to the hole in the glass dome and set foot on the thin edge around it. "WHOA!" An arrow zipped down between them.

"I really don't like having to fight you kids, but I won't let you make things worse!" Katniss declared, perched on the top of the dome and launching arrows at the correct angles.

"Tani, I'll help ya up!" Sheila lifted her mate on her shoulders, her feet skidding against the dome and steadily inching up. Tani used vines to grab and throw away Katniss's arrows, and Sheila's speed and balance improved as the dome became less vertical. Finally, they were at the top, which had plenty of stable space, but Katniss flew up to a platform partway up the island's castle.

"'Guess a Mockingjay would be afraid of a natural predator." Tani said. "This calls for some extra string." She wrapped vines around either end of her bow and held her arrow against it, pushing the bow away with said vines to make a very long "string." She angled it up, making sure the arrow was locked dead on Katniss. The Lotus was doing the same, trying to focus on Tani, who was shifting slightly. Both arrows loosed at once, passing each other. Katniss's shoulder was pierced, the force of the arrow knocking her off the side of the platform, while Tani suffered a pierced foot.

Katniss smashed through the dome, toward the balcony area, but her quiver got snagged on a flagpole that suspended her unconscious body. Tani treated herself with a soreaway, and the Raccoons dropped down all at once to swap the Freedom flag with their gold Jolly Roger. "Nice job, crew!" Sheila fist-palmed. "Let's regroup with Dillon and skip to the next island!" (End song.)

The Halberd

As if Aixalag was magnetically drawing him to its opposite, Meta Knight flew out of the cockpit, soaring across the deck until he was face-to-face with Aurora. "When I first learned your father wielded the legendary Galaxia, I was determined to battle him. Alas, even after the Firstborn Quest, he rejected my challenge. Such cruel fate. But as I was lucky enough to encounter and defeat the wielder of Aixalag, I accepted that I could never battle Galaxia. But how right I was to join the Sky Gods. My only desire was to attain a new purpose… and now, fate has brought the Galaxia Sword right back to me, in the hands of Nigel Uno's daughter, whom wishes for my defeat. Words cannot express how grateful I am for this opportunity."

"I'm grateful too, Meta Knight." Aurora smiled, clutching the gold sword firmly. "I always knew I carried my parents' legacy… but I never knew I had Galaxia with me all along. Just holding it makes me feel even closer to Dad. It's like this is his final gift to me. Now, all I want to do is prove that I deserve it."

"Do not let yourself fall astray." Darkness brimmed around Meta Knight's silver Aixalag. "We are not swordsmen fighting a noble duel: we are enemy pirates, clashing on a ship. You must do whatever it takes to win."

"Heh. All part of your thrill, right?"

"Absolutely!" Meta's eyes sparked with desire, and then their blades sparked in conflict. (Play "Kirby Boss Medley" from Smash Brawl!)

Boss fight: Sky God Star Knight Commander, META KNIGHT

The speed of the blades were as fast as lightning, 50 clashes every second. Such speed was expected from Meta Knight, but on Aurora's end, it seemed Galaxia was guiding her on its own. The swords had a magnetic attraction that prevented them from being apart for a millisecond, but that was until Meta leapt away. The knight slashed dark waves at a rapid pace, Aurora dodging her way up and reengaging with him. She spread ice from her feet and froze the floor, Meta's shoes as well, so Aurora was able to slide behind and land some blows against him.

Meta escaped and flip-flew behind Aurora, who sprouted fire up at her back to make him shift to her right, after which Galaxia blocked a flurry from Aixalag. Meta flew several feet back, held his sword forward, and flew at Aurora as a drill. Aurora skied around the deck, but Meta was fast as a firecracker, so she decided to do the same: she ducked under Meta, and when he did a somersault, Aurora spun into a flaming drill and forced her sword against his. Meta was sweating from the heat, but he chose not to falter! That was, until Aurora changed that fire into ice and froze their two swords together. The spinning halted, so Aurora slammed Meta into the deck using the conjoined swords. The ice shattered as a result, Meta taking his blade back.

The knight flew up and performed a swift, U-shaped glide, too fast for Aurora to see, but she became riddled with cuts. Meta was preparing to repeat, but by dodging left, Aurora escaped punishment. Meta continued the routine, so Aurora would sprout icicles in her place before dodging, but Meta cut them just as easy. Aurora instead watched for at what timing would he land the cuts, and thus set an ice trap, willing it to sprout up and freeze Meta at that timing. Aurora lay the slash-down before he escaped. Meta repeated his maneuver, but this time was circling around Aurora, waiting to surprise her. She kept her sword ready for when he swooped in, and once he did, her sword reacted to defend from every slash.

Just as well, Aurora channeled ice through her sword to his, an icicle sprouting out as Aurora willed it to jab his eye. She tossed Galaxia, which whirled like a lightning wheel, but Meta knocked it back at her. Meta hovered above Aurora and raised the blade skyward, raining a beam of Ztar Bullets directly at her. She tried to block with Galaxia, but the rapid force threatened to bounce it aside, and she suffered a few hits before running. When she got too far, Meta Knight zipped closer to rain more close-range bullets, Aurora continuing to run. Meta ceased his attack and dove at Aurora, the girl dodging, but he continued gliding around in attempt to stab her. Just as she considered attacking after a dodge, he flipped back, Aurora dodging as his sword impaled the deck.

The force accumulated from his momentum unleashed a Star Tornado, which spread away from Meta, so Aurora sealed herself in an Ice Bubble, which was torn to pieces, but managed to protect her. She immediately lunged and struck Meta as he was pulling the sword out, then he began to fly all around her for brief slashes, Aurora suffering some but blocking others. He backed off and spun around as a miniature tornado, pursuing Aurora once more, so she thought it best to evade and cast fire to be absorbed in his twister. It became too hot, so he stopped, dropped, and rolled his round form across the deck to put it out, but Aurora froze the deck around him, causing him to slip during a roll, and she immediately leapt forth to deal a painful slash.

Meta flipped to his feet and flapped away. He carved up a piece of deck, used his sword to pick it out like a fork, and chucked, Aurora dodging. "Just like my mom used to teach Cheren." she remarked. "A swordsman uses their surroundings to fight for them." She stabbed Galaxia into that debris and set it on fire. Meta Knight carved out another one, but she bat it away with her own, though he followed with a cartwheel attack. The weight of the debris prevented her from recomposing and blocking in time, though she was able to will the flames to fly off the debris and hit him from the side. He was blown away, and Aurora followed up by hurdling that debris, though Meta anticipated such an attack and slashed it in half.

She saw Meta charge chi into his sword before he stabbed the deck again. Power flowed underneath, Aurora gasping and dodging before a sprinkler of Ztars spewed out. More Ztars shot out along her trail, almost creating a fountain show. "You know, I wonder." Since Meta was using the Ztar Power of his sword, couldn't Aurora do the same? Plus, this technique was similar to one of her own: she channeled Fire Chi through Galaxia and stabbed the deck, willing the fire to flow underneath. She made it flow along the path of the Ztar sprinklers, and Fire Stars became mixed in as the dark stars were blocked.

"Yes, Aurora! Remember that the power of stars flows within you!" Meta Knight ceased the attack and unloaded more Ztar Bullets. Aurora conjured a star-shaped ice shield using Galaxia, and the added Star Power was able to block the bullets. Aurora then jumped around and fired a beam of Ice Star bullets at Meta in turn, the knight redirecting his own to counter Aurora's, and both swordsmen suffered hits from stray stars. Afterwards, Meta repeated his earlier technique of U-shaped swoops, this time leaving Ztars in his wake that would home on Aurora. Just as well, when Aurora sprouted icicles, she would will stars to be frozen inside them, and when Meta cut the icicles, the stars would home on and damage him.

The knight began to circle the air above Aurora, creating a cosmic belt of Ztars that homed on her all at once. She twirled Galaxia above herself, a star wheel forming to block the Ztars. She anticipated Meta to swoop in any moment, and was spinning fire around her sword in preparation. With a gasp, she sensed him coming from the rear—she was quite sick of her enemies performing this same stupid attack! Aurora dodged left and allowed her side to suffer the blow instead, and she twisted to slash Meta Knight with the flaming spinning sword. He escaped before the damage could worsen, but the top of his mask was chipped. "Aurora! What say you we stop being so merciful?!" he declared as his sword brimmed with greater darkness.

"Gladly! Fire Gate, open!" She punched her chest, her upper-body coated with flames. "Ice Gate, open!" She stomped her foot, her pants coated in ice. "Star Gate: open!" She positioned the edge of her sword perfectly in the middle of her face, and with a light flash, gold light streaked up the middle of her body. Meta Knight took to the air and began to slash open star-shaped portals of darkness, unleashing storms of Ztars that Aurora evaded. Each Ztar Storm would only last a second, while Aurora began to send large stars at him, spewing fire his direction. Meta slashed space and entered a portal, emerging beneath her feet. She dodged, so he tried again, but this time Aurora froze the portal at her feet, blocking his way.

She blasted a fire beam through the ice, but Meta endured and shot through it, slashing Aurora's stomach and kicking her away. She immediately recovered, seeing him coming, and made to engage again—he vanished. "Come…" Darkness surrounded Aurora; only now did she realize Meta Knight was behind her, flapping his cape over her. With a mighty up-slash, Aurora was blasted to the air. "Know my power!" The knight thrusted upward, and a cross-shaped lightning bolt struck, but Aurora was wise and fortunate enough to dodge with Rocket Boost.

Aurora spun into a drill of fire and ice, the tip of her sword forming a star as she dove at Meta, who accepted her challenge and drilled against her as well. A gold star expanded behind Aurora, and a black Ztar behind Meta Knight, and from them flew tornadoes of their elements. The twister of Ztars melded with the twister of fire, frost, and stars, a tremendous and devastating blender of four forces.

Fatigue overwhelmed both fighters as their attack slowed to a halt and they collapsed on the deck. They pushed their selves to stand, gasping for breath. Aurora's Fury was nearly faded, except for the gold sliver up her body. It almost matched Meta Knight's mask, its crack close to completion. "How about… one last draw?" Aurora held her sword down.

"I am ready when you are." Meta Knight mimicked her posture.

Both stood still, watching the other with 100% focus. Or rather, 95% focus in Aurora's case. She had secretly willed a Fire Star to appear under her foot, and it was quietly moving under the deck toward Meta. She kept still, trying to be as unsuspicious as possible. The star slowly rose out of a hole and jumped to Meta's cape. The fire slowly grew—Meta Knight zipped past Aurora, blood spilling from her waist, but she waved Galaxia and willed that Fire Star to expand. Meta rolled to put the flames out, during which Aurora froze her spilled blood, shaped it like a blade, and tossed it at Meta Knight. His side was stabbed, and then Aurora flipped to SLASH down his mask! Fire and ice exploded from the sides of the slash, leaving a star slit down the middle. (End song.)

One half of Meta Knight's face was burned, the other half was frozen, while the middle glimmered with light. "Nnngh… so… this is the strength of the Uno Family. Your fiery passion…your ice-cold authority… your star of justice… you wear it all proudly. You do your parents… proud…" The blue Kirby copy fainted in peace.

"…Thank goodness, I'm beat." Aurora fell on her back, Galaxia disappearing. "Artiiiieee, come'n handcuff this guy."

The Gilligans walked outside after confirming it was safe, the middle child placing Meta Knight in cuffs. "You're a noble man, Meta." Artie said. "Well, we've officially betrayed the crew. Whaddo we do now?"

"Head back to the captain we know and love." Haylee smiled. "Dillon called and said they were in the kingdom. They'll probably need our help."

"Being pirates just ain't fun without Sheila's shanties." Harry nodded.

Coast of Dark Continent

Blissfully uncaring of all the drama taking place, Monaca returned to the ocean on a stolen Boogey ship. She docked at the dark shore and peacefully rolled her wheelchair across the valley. "Yes… somewhere up there, correct? That's where Mandy-sama found Gaon." After all the fighting that transpired here, only a few beasts were left to thwart her progress, but a Psy-Sphere or two were enough to silence them. "I wonder if she knew… about Gaon's true purpose?"

She sensed no auras following her. She was virtually alone out here. …Thus, Sans' lack of activity made him completely unnoticeable. He watched her as still as a statue.

Goldpaw Island

A faint light hit Cheren's eyes in the darkness of the closet. He moaned groggily as he awakened, feeling his arms tied. He could only make out a grin against a blurry silhouette. "Hey, Cherry Boy! Long time, no see~" The source of the voice was given form: Kokichi had a gun aimed at Cheren.

His brows perked up after fully making him out. Cheren couldn't help but form a smirk. "You must be that Kokichi boy that everyone's worried about. 'Long time,' huh? I'm sure I would remember having a dirty, deceitful operative like you."

"That is your operatives' greatest weakness, Cherry! The more you despise someone and wish for them to leave, the more you try to forget, and utterly ignore them after they DO leave. That's why the Memory Charm never wore off on you all, but I never forget, Cherry. Now that Meta Knight has hit the floor, I'm left with no choice: YOUR REPUTATIONS ARE TOAST! Already, my crew is uploading your embarrassing secrets to the Intergalactic Internet. Did you know Maddy draws sexy pictures of Chris? Or Jinta likes to be stepped on by girls? Mason likes to sneak in Sheila's room while she's sleeping to study her~"

"You're a disgusting, pathetic human being."

"And you want your girl friends to worship you. Heck, you're smiling because you're imagining it right now, aren't you? Am I one of them?" he smiled flirtingly. "What's my duty?"

"Haha! I'm smiling because I know your plan's gonna fail!" Cheren beamed. "I sense him approaching as we speak. I can't imagine how much I'm gonna laugh at your battle. I'm already laughing right now, haha!"

"What are you babbling about now-"

A funny horn sound echoed in the sky. Gasping, Kokichi rushed outside, he and his crewmen searching around. "UP THERE!" Lanky pointed. Their eyes popped at the sight of a floating island: it looked nothing like any of the kingdom's islands, for it was being pulled by flying snakes, which had dog heads and horn mouths. The island had circus banners and a figurehead of a boy with Yoshi glasses.

"Th-That face!" Kokichi recognized it in horror. "Impossible! I tricked him to go invent a new color! Not bring a ridiculous circus!"

"That's where you messed up, Kokichi." Zach Murphy spoke through the intercoms. "My noble quest to find an original color brought me to Bobopolis, where I sought aid from the wise Strobe Light Sage. To prove my worth, I was tasked to deliver posters for his new movie, The Corn and the Cabby, and it was then I met HER."

A large TV displayed everything as he described. Zach knocked on a door, and Mako Mankanshoku answered, a horn strapped to her mouth and dog ears over her normal ones. She only made horn sounds as she spoke, the ears flapping. Zach blushed at her cuteness. "From that day on, I knew my calling was that of the Dog-Horn Circus. We would make people dance the cosmos over with our melodias woof-honks. But weeks of performances have reminded us of what's truly important: LEARNING DIRTY GOSSIP ABOUT COMPLETE STRANGERS!"

"So, you're just here to learn all the operatives' dirty secrets?!" Ashley questioned.

"I don't know what operatives you could be talking about, but the only dirty secrets my mutts care about involve women with hair implants. And their honkers are aimed right at YOU, Kokichi!"

Kokichi gasped. "How could you know my cousin is involved in the hair-implant business?! You've left me no choice, Zachary: I'm going to have to use forbidden techniques to stop you." Kokichi displayed his trademark smile and positioned a hand before his face in a scissor fashion. "Super Fist of the Infinite Deception: My Tongue is Longer Than Two Amazonian Bathrooms!"

"That's impossible." Ashley said. "Amazonian bathrooms need room for five mirrors, three baby diaper stations, five toilets and not to mention cabinets for private supplies, meaning your tongue would have to be-"

"WHEEEEEEEE!" Kokichi's tongue spurted out of him like a hose, latching onto the island like a grappling hook and pulling him towards. "It would also need to have their prized Smoochy Sticky Lipstick! But my tongue certainly lives up to the name, wouldn't you agree?! NYAH HAHAHAHA!"

"Well, there he goes." Edna said worriedly. "Should we go up and help him?"

"Of course we should!" Big Boy insisted. "We're his crew, after all!"

"I need to watch over the uploading." Lanky replied. "The rest of you can go if you want."

"Fine, but I sure ain't gonna like it." Ashley replied. "No despair is greater than Kokichi's Infinite Deception."

I am gonna need ALL the brain cells for this chapter, because it's time for another Bo-bobo Battle. The Nextgen Pirates' King of Clowns vs. the Sky Gods' Ultimate Liar: the headache of a lifetime! (Also, Alcamoth is from Xenoblade.)

…

…

"And that's basically how a Zora vasectomy is performed." Mandy concluded. "You wouldn't believe how many ex-wives King Zora has."

"You learn a lot of things when you're queen, huh?" Nebula replied. "Come to think of it, is it possible for Gorons and Koroks to mate?"

"I know it doesn't seem like it, but yep. Anything is mateable in this universe."

"I'm just wondering what a Goron/Korok hybrid would look like."

"Don't give Great Grandma any ideas. 'Course, knowing her, there probably are a couple."

"Prob'ly. …Did you hear this one rumor where Kyogre tried to hook up with some water dragon?"

"No wonder Eva didn't wanna stay with him."