Four

Despite my fears that Avery would close herself off again after we hung out, sure enough she was there a first thing in the morning at school, waiting at her locker to see if I would show up. Though she never said that, I could tell.

Over the last few weeks, we have become best friends. She let me take her out to her very first movie in Athens, and to the arcade we also visited before. She also let me introduce her to Scott and Tammy, who have become good friends with her as well, like I thought.

For Tammy, I think she's just happy to have another girl to hang out with, instead of Scott and I, who aren't exactly the most pleasant to be around.

It's almost the middle of October, which means Halloween is coming up, Tammy's favorite holiday like most girls, because it's the one time you can dress up slutty, and it's socially accepted.

I miss the times when it was just about the one day of the year, where parents let their kids take free candy from strangers at their front door.

Screw the van, come to my house!

"What do you guys think of a Halloween party at my place this year?" Tammy asks, slamming her lunch tray on the table to get everyone's attention as she sits down. I roll my eyes and ignore her, going back to eating my food.

"What do you always have to throw a party?" Scott asks.

"Because parties are fun, and we're too old to go out and get candy anymore. So, it's the next best thing."

Scott doesn't argue, shrugging his shoulders in agreeance. She does have a point, there isn't much we can do for Halloween anymore to celebrate the holiday, other than throw a party, or do nothing.

"How about you Avery? You should totally come, we can go shopping for costumes together," Tammy says, beaming at Avery. I feel her shuffle uncomfortably next to me, knowing she already wants to say no like she has many times before, but now it means a little more.

Before, she was never friends with anyone who asked. If she says no, it might upset Tammy. I don't care about upsetting her, but it seems Avery does.

"I'll be going too, if that makes you feel better," I whisper to her. She bites her lip and gives me an uneasy look.

"I don't think my parents would let me," she eventually says, giving Tammy a small frown.

"Oh, really? Even if you tell them my parents will be there?" she asks with a pout.

Avery shakes her head. "It's not that, I just have stuff to do, they need me home at night."

"Well, think about it. One of us could drive you home, if you have a curfew."

Knowing Tammy's parties, that will be when the party starts. Avery won't even be able to make it.

I wave a hand at Tammy, telling her to butt out and let it go for now, before I turn back to Avery.

"Talk to your parents about it, you have time. If you really can't make it, maybe we can do something together for Halloween," I say.

She gives me a small, hopeful smile and nods. The conversation resumes to normal complaining about school and assignments, but I can still feel the tension rolling off Avery in thick waves. She continues to bite her lip and stare out the window, no longer touching her food.

I look at her lunch, and notice how plain it looks. Just a simple sandwich with a slice of ham and cheese, and what looks like mayo, with a small pudding cup and apple.

Is that really all she packs for lunch?

Even the kids who don't buy lunch from the cafeteria, at least pack something more than just that. I want to ask her about it, but she is suddenly getting up and grabbing her tray.

"I'll see you later, I have to head to class a little earlier," she smiles and turns on her heels, quickly tossing away her tray.

"Wait, don't you guys have Gym next period?" Scott asks.

This is something Avery seems to do every time before Gym class. She runs off early, and joins the class just as everyone is getting there. Even though we are all given the standard t-shirts and shorts with the school logos on them, she has a white long-sleeve.

She isn't there when the teacher tells everyone not to go into the change rooms, because we're wearing different uniforms today.

Avery walks over and stands next to me, something she has taken to doing over the last few weeks. Before, she never attended gym, and stayed in the practice rooms.

A part of me feels giddy that I'm the reason she attends now, but the other part doubts that's the real reason. She was probably forced to eventually attend, like everyone else.

She looks around, confused at everyone still in their regular school clothing, while she is the only one dressed in the gym uniform. The teacher spots her out and calls her over.

"We're wearing different uniforms for the day, go and change," he says and hands her the new clothes. I see her back tense when she folds them out.

It's another simple t-shirt and shorts, but there are two different colored designs on each shirt, indicating we're breaking into teams for some activity. I see her whisper to the teacher, and he shakes his head.

"Why the hell not?" she cries, shocking even the teacher.

"Because, you are no exception from the rest of the students. You wear the uniform as is. I'm sorry, we don't have anything else, it's just for today's class, Miss Reynolds."

I see her fists start to shake at her side. As I make a move towards her, she throws the clothes on the ground and storms out of the gym, ignoring the teacher calling her name. He runs after her out of the class, with me following close behind him, but she is already out the school doors and gone.

"What the hell was that?" he asks me.

"With permission, I can go and talk to her," I say and give him a hesitant smile. He frowns and thinks it over, letting out a frustrated breath.

"Our teams will be uneven anyway with her gone, if you don't participate it will even them out again," he grumbles. I try not to roll my eyes at the fact that all he cares about is his precious activity, that is going to have no impact on us after we graduate, other than to be active – if you have the time.

I nod at him and rush off, before he realizes how terrible a teacher he is being, and changes his mind. I rush out into the parking lot, my eyes frantically scanning for any sign of Avery, but she is nowhere.

I take out my phone to call her, but it keeps going to voicemail. I leave her a voice message, telling her to text me when she can, and tell me what's going on.

She has acted weird before, but never like that.

I don't bother going back to class, already knowing it's probably better for the teacher and the class if I don't. Instead, I wander to the library, pretty vacant at this time. The librarian gives me a funny look when I enter, probably suspecting that I'm skipping, and she wouldn't be far off.

I technically have permission to skip – this time. She doesn't know that though, I've never intentionally skipped and gone to the library of all places.

But for some reason, I feel drawn to it right now. Looking at all the different shelves of books, some brand new and some aged, it reminds me of Avery in the bookstore, and the excited smile she wore.

What is so exciting about books? I never understood how some people could be so fascinated by something as simple as a book, that doesn't even tell a true story half the time. Where is the joy in that? Anything you fall in love with in the book, isn't real.

When you could be living your life, and making these exciting adventures come to life. The only time I ever touched a book, was in juvie. They don't give you much to do, and after two years of doing the same thing, other than working out reading was the only other best alternative to pass the time.

I still didn't enjoy it. If anything, it's what started my confusion and curiosity in the first place. The books I read were all fairy tales, fables to make you believe that life isn't as shitty as it really is.

Every time I got lost in a book, and would put it down, I was reminded of where I was, and just how different life really is from the stories I loved and loathed. How no miracle is going to fall into my life, and suddenly turn my life around.

I continue to slowly walk the aisles, killing as much time as I can, thinking over what happened and what Avery was possibly thinking? She has always worn a long sleeve during gym, and though I never questioned it, today's reaction is making me want too.

I end up sitting in one of the lounge chairs in the back corner, playing Angry Birds on my phone until the bell signals the end of class. I anxiously go through the rest of the day, edging to get out of class to find Avery. I check my phone every five minutes, but there is no response from her, making me worry more.

What the hell is going on inside her head?

On the way home after school, I try and call her a few more times, but still no answer. I'm distracted all through dinner, letting my father drone on about work, but still thinking about Avery, and what I could possibly do to get her to open up to me more, or find out what she is hiding.

I barely get any sleep, tossing all night, trying to will away my thoughts. I still haven't heard a word from Avery come the morning, and I hope she shows up to school.

As soon as I enter the front doors, I search for her in the halls until I reach my locker. A huge weight is lifted off my chest when I spot her hunched over her locker, fiddling with her combination.

I run over to her and turn her around, trying my best not to look as worried and angry as I am. She herself looks angry at first, until she sees it's me, then her anger is replaced with shock and a little bit of; fear?

What is she afraid of?

She winces out of my touch, masking the pain on her face instantly as she rubs her forearm where I touched. I lightly grabbed her arm, I barely squeezed.

"Avery, what is going on? You didn't answer any of my texts or calls yesterday," I say, cursing myself when I hear the concern seep through my tone.

"I'm sorry, I forgot my phone in my locker yesterday, and I already had it shut off." She turns back to fiddle with her lock.

"That doesn't explain what happened yesterday," I add quietly.

She lets out a frustrated breath. "Look, Aiden, I don't want to talk about it. I made a fool of myself, end of story. Can we just forget about it?" she pleads.

As much as everything in me is telling me not to drop it, I nod anyway, not wanting to upset her any more than she already seems. She finally gets her locker undone and, low and behold, there is her phone sitting on the top shelf.

She turns it on, and I watch in horror as all my missed calls and messages invade her screen. She gives me an equally horrified look, quickly turning the sound off on her phone so no one hears it freaking out.

"Geez, Aiden," she mutters.

I shrug. "You weren't answering my texts."

"So, you blow up my phone? What if I had a family emergency, I was at a funeral or something?" She glares at me.

I roll my eyes. "Please, I doubt that would be the case. You would tell me, right?" I say and give her my best puppy dog eyes. She just chuckles lightly and starts walking.

"So, did you ask your parents about Tammy's Halloween party? It's next weekend, since Halloween is in the middle of the week," I ask.

Avery bites her lip, her steps faltering. "I haven't asked them yet, I haven't really had the time."

"I can always come over and help ask them for you."

She stops dead in her tracks, a terrified look on her face as she viciously shakes her head. "No, that's okay. You don't need to come over," she says, her voice sounding panicked.

"I was just teasing, it's alright," I say, frowning a little.

What the hell was that?

She lets out a small breath and gives me a hesitant smile, keeping a slow pace. I walk with her in silence until we reach her class and she waves a little at me before rushing inside. I stand at the doorway and watch as she walks to the back of the class and sits down, putting her hood over her head to hide her face.

I feel a sinking feeling in my stomach, disappointed that she hides herself so much. She isn't ugly, she is actually really attractive for someone who hides their appearance so often in public. I can't imagine she dresses like this at home.

Without thinking, I walk right up to her, ignoring the odd stares from the students and teacher at the front. Before she has a chance to look up and see me, I walk behind her and gently pull down her hood.

"You look better with it off," I whisper in her ear, then run out of the class, glancing behind me briefly to see her stunned face. She throws her hood back on, but it's too late, a few people around her are already looking in slight awe and shock.

Success.

I think, until I stop in the doorway and see a few of the guys in the class looking towards her, smiles on their faces. A disturbing feeling crawls its way into my stomach, and I have to turn away before the sudden anger and irritation I feel becomes too much.

I wanted people to see how amazing Avery is; not for guys to see how hot – attractive she is.

I stop myself and shake my head, pausing in the hallway to think over what I just thought to myself. Avery isn't hot. She's cute at most, but she isn't hot, I could never think of her like that.

For the rest of the morning, I try and immerse myself in my studies, knowing that my lingering, distracting thoughts are already starting to cost me. It also helps to try and stop the thoughts, replacing them with something just as frustrating.

During lunch, Avery doesn't show. This time, I know she has her phone, so I call her right away. It rings a few times, then goes to voicemail. I excuse myself and go straight to the practice rooms, having a sense she will be there.

Sure enough, I hear the same style of classical music playing from one of the practice rooms the closer I get. This time, I turn the knob, thankful that these doors don't lock, and quietly walk in.

She doesn't notice me, or the door open, the music from the stereo on the ground playing too loudly, despite the lack of bass. I walk over to the long bench against the wall and watch her in silence, admiring her movements like before.

This time, she moves much more gracefully than before, moving in perfect sync to the music, like she knows it off by heart.

I watch her until the song finally ends, and she turns towards me opening her eyes. She lets out a small scream when she spots me sitting on the bench, I can feel the grin that has settled on my face since I arrived.

"How long have you been sitting there?" she says, rushing across the room to grab her sweater. She pulls it on in a haste and keeps her distance.

I almost want to laugh at how awkward she is, but something in the back of my head is telling me her actions are off. She isn't dressed in a provocative way; just sweatpants and a tank-top.

"Not that long, I'm surprised you didn't hear me come in."

She sneers at me. "What are you doing here?"

"You didn't show up for lunch, I figured you would be here."

"How many times have you checked if I was here?" she asks incredulously.

I run a nervous hand through my hair, avoiding eye contact. It has been more times than I want to admit.

"Once or twice now, not that many times."

She rolls her eyes, but doesn't seem too upset. "Have you always been this clingy?" she asks, walking over to grab her bag.

I gape at her, then pout. "I'm not clingy."

She taps my cheek lightly. "It's okay, I don't mind it," she smiles and brushes past me. My heart leaps a little, but I ignore it. It's the first time she has ever shown a playful side, I'm just happy it seems she's opening up around me more.

I jog up to her. "What are you doing after school?" I ask.

She frowns. "Just the usual, why?"

"Want to come by my place? My dad won this VR system from work in some charity raffle, I want someone to try it out with." I was actually really excited when he brought it home, and didn't seem all that interested. He said he only entered his name once, and it was just to donate.

Good news for me either way.

"Why don't you ask Scott?" she says, avoiding eye contact. She stops at her locker and practically shoves her head inside.

"I don't like playing video games with Scott, he's too competitive, and Tammy doesn't like anything so she obviously won't try it. That leaves you, which I think is already the better option," I say and grin, adding an extra cherry on top to try and convince her.

"I have too much to do after school, maybe another time." She closes her locker and gives me a small smile.

I groan. "You always say that."

She wrinkles her nose and frowns. "That isn't true."

"This is like, the fourth time I've asked you, and you always say next time. When is that going to be?"

"I'm sorry, I just have a lot to do at home, I don't really have the time to hang out," she says and hangs her head, instantly making me feel like a jerk.

"Well, what about if I go to your place? That way maybe I can help you do whatever it is–"

"No!" she blurts out, stopping and whirling around in front of me. She looks like a deer caught in headlights, but quickly composes herself. "My parents would freak out if I brought a guy over, I don't think that's a good idea."

"Geez, Avery. How do you live like this? It sounds like you live in a prison, only allowed out for school like bail." Saying that causes my heart to sink a little, remembering all the times I really did feel like I was in prison; close enough.

"Yeah, you could say that," she mutters, clutching her books to her chest.

"Hey, is everything alright?" I ask, stopping in the hall.

She flashes a bright smile at me, but even I can see right through it.

"Everything is fine," she says in an overly cheery voice, then quickly runs ahead of me. "I'll see you after class," she calls over her shoulder.

"Wait, we have the same class!" But she is already around the corner and gone. Is she not showing up for gym class? Where is she going?

Walking over to my locker, I toss my books inside and grab my phone, sending Scott a text, telling him to ditch 3rd period and meet me in the parking lot.

Right when the last bell rings, he walks out the front doors and up to his car I'm leaning against.

"What's up? Seems like you got something to talk about," he asks, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.

"I need your help, and your promise, that anything I tell you stays between us, and I mean not even Tammy can know."

He rolls his eyes. "Well obviously, she can never keep a secret."

"Exactly my point. Anyway, I asked you to come out here because I need your help breaking into the office after school hours," I say carefully, knowing he's going to either freak out, or have a lot of questions.

"Dude, are you serious? Why the hell would you want to do that?" Maybe it's a mixture of both.

"Because, there is something going on with Avery, I just know it."

He gives me a curious look. "What do you mean? Other than the weird, hermit-like way she used to act?"

"No, you idiot. I mean outside of school, maybe at home, I don't know. I just know there's something going on, and it isn't good. I mean, have you noticed she always wears a sweater? No matter how hot or cold it is? Has she always worn that?" I ask.

Scott thinks about it, then frowns. "Actually, you're right. Now that I think about it, any time I saw her, she is wearing that big black sweater. Come to think of it, I have never even seen her in a t-shirt or shorts."

"See what I mean? I was in gym class the other day, and the teacher told her that she had to wear a t-shirt just for the one class. She got upset and stormed out, but when I tried asking her what happened, she brushed it off like it was nothing. I'm trying to figure it out, but she isn't letting me in."

"So, why do you want to break into the office?" he asks.

"Because today I tried asking to go over to her place, and she freaked out, as if I asked to go over and flat out fuck on her couch. She said her parents would be mad if she brought a guy over."

"Sounds kind of reasonable, her family might be very religious or something." He has a point, but something still feels wrong.

"I don't know, but I want to find out her address and see for myself what kind of home she lives in. Maybe you're right, and her parents are just really religious or some crap."

Scott looks at me weird. "Are you alright, man?" he asks slowly.

I raise a brow at him. "Uh, yeah. Why?"

"You've been acting weird yourself man, and now you want to break into the school office, to basically stalk Avery? What is your obsession with her?"

I punch him hard in the arm. "I'm not obsessed with her, what the hell is wrong with you? And I'm not stalking her, I just want to find out what she's hiding, if she isn't going to tell me herself."

Scott puts his hands up in defense. "Alright, what do you want me to do?"

"Just meet me here at 8 o'clock tonight, I'll be waiting on the side of the gym, there's no cameras there."

Scott gives me a thumbs up and a salute, then walks back inside. I continue to lean against his car, looking upwards and rethinking what he said.

Have I been acting strangely since I got back? I expected so, I'm not the same as before, and Scott of all people should know that. I did eventually tell Tammy, and she scolded me for not trying to tell her sooner, before she came to the realization that I had no control over it, and sobbed on me for an hour, apologizing over.

But is that what he meant?

I'm not obsessed with Avery.

I just feel a connection with her, that I haven't felt with anyone else since coming back. She's the only one who hasn't questioned me, or my weird behavior, if you don't count calling me clingy. I don't count it, because it's not true.

She gets me, and nobody understands how good that can feel sometimes.