What Am I To You?

"I'm sure you will enlighten me?" Ryou smirked.

By his response, he was used to this...used to this kind of aggression. But of course, he had to be, he was a yakuza...but still seeing Yahiko's hand on him didn't sit right with me. What kind of date would I be to just sit down and watch? Especially after my first dude sex, the pure aggression of another man's hands on what was mine threw me into a frenzy.

Yahiko's fist tightened around Ryou's collar, as I noticed his hand raise into a fist, "Don't fucking play smar—"

I moved quicker than I thought, standing up from my seat. "Lay off Ryou!"

My sudden realization of what I had done hit me hard. Whispers ensued to the point I was "hella" confused. Ryou's eyes were on me like they were screaming "wtf", and then Yahiko turned towards me as if he had seen a ghost.

Oh shit...I didn't call him Ray...

Yahiko's hold on Ryou dropped. "Ryou?"

He surprisingly began to chuckle, but it soon turned into a laugh. "Ah, now I get it. Things are becoming more and more clear."

My expression stated that I had no clue what he was talking about. However, I suddenly felt a firm and uncomfortable grasp as I was pulled backwards. I yelped, but it was a manly one, as I was held firmly by Yahiko's men.

"Niko!" I heard Ryou snarl, "Let him go, this has nothing to do with him!"

I struggled as much as I could, but the Venom goons pushed me forcefully forward. It was such an uncomfortable position, and I wasn't strong enough to get away.

"On the contrary, it has everything to do with him. Niko's the one who gave you a soul. And a soul is a funny thing in our family business."

I heard some commotion, but my head was pointed in an awkward angle that I couldn't quite see what was going on.

"One move, brother, and I'll snap his arm."

That gave me the chills. I knew Yahiko was ruthless. He had to be in his position, but this was my first encounter with him in this state. Yet, I didn't want to run from it. I didn't want to leave Ryou behind or give up on someone...someone I deeply cherished.

"Wait! I...I love him, sir!" I yelled, face down like an idiot.

I guess losing yourself to your first usually brings on some strong feelings. Did I really love Ryou...I'm mad about him, but I don't know if I love him yet. I did know, or at least think, that saying that would possibly stop the outcome I wanted to avoid. I didn't want either of us getting hurt nor did I want them to injure my good arm.

"Ha!" I heard Yahiko cackle, "Love? Do you share that sentiment too?"

There was silence. I didn't expect Ryou to say he loved me. We didn't know each other very long...and I kind of just blurted that out in the heat of the moment. So, it would be ok if he—

"Yes."

Well...I didn't expect my heart to flutter at the sound of that, but it did.

"Love doesn't build an empire, Ryou." Yahiko scoffed, "I thought you'd be smarter than that. So, what should I do in this situation."

It was then that I heard a gun cock. I felt blood swarm into my brain as my mind went hazy. He...he was going to kill me...wasn't he.

"I want 30 paintings in the next two days, Niko. That is step one in what your love will cost you. Secondly, you're going to start acting like a Cobra if you're going to sleep with my brother."

"That wasn't a part of the deal!" Ryou snarled.

"Well...I could always just kill him?"

My mind became muddled. I didn't want to be in a gang. I never wanted that life. I just wanted to go to college and earn some extra money...but if that meant...

"I'll do—"

"Take Niko home, now!" Ryou snapped.

I could hear the anger in his voice. Did I upset him by trying to agree? And why is he sending me away?! I didn't want to leave him here. I wanted to stay by his side and figure things out! And most importantly...

I didn't want him to go back to Kizuna.

"Ryou—" I started.

"That's non-negotiable!"

I felt defeated, as the goons pulled me up. I honestly felt tears begin to well in my eyes as I stared down the man I supposedly loved. His eyes were a fierce green and looking at him only agitated me more.

"Trouble in paradise, huh." Yahiko smirked, placing his gun back where it resided.

"Fuck you." I spat, agitated by his cockiness, as I slapped the goons out of my way and marched out of the room.

"I'll still need those paintings, Niko!" Yahiko called after me.

Even as I stormed past the hostess and walked out of the club, being pushed into a car that already knew how to get to my shit apartment, I couldn't shake the feeling that Ryou was still treating me like a kid. Hell, even in this circumstance, I felt like he undermined me.

I ABSOLUTELY don't want to be a yakuza, but if that meant that I could be with Ryou, I would do it.

I'd do anything for him.

That's how pathetic I am. I'm so drawn to him that I would rather do what I hated to be with someone who made me feel safe...loved even. So why was that so wrong? Why would he make me leave to talk to Yahiko?

I suddenly found myself walking into my apartment like a zombie. I couldn't even make myself go to bed. Instead, I closed the door and felt my body slump under the light switch.

It wasn't the astronomical task of doing 30 paintings in two days, on top of moving, that shook me. It was the thought of losing Ryou. Even worse...it was the feeling kind of like an idiot because maybe I did rush things without even thinking about Ryou felt about it all. I know I pushed the dating topic at dinner, and he didn't seem to continue the conversation...so that probably meant that he doesn't want to be committed to me right now. Which I guess I get...but...I guess I also didn't think of the aftermath of having sex with someone I didn't want to date either. I just went for it...and it felt great...and was really amazing...but...what if I didn't make him feel the same way?

I shook my head, trying to rid those thoughts from my mind. He confessed to liking me...so he wouldn't say those things if he didn't mean it. He wasn't that type of person.

He had to be doing this to protect me.

But it still bothered me because I also wanted to protect him.

My mind and body went numb. I didn't move as I watched the hours tick away. It wasn't until I heard the door rattle, that the streetlight emanating into my room meant I had been by the door this whole time.

"Niko?"

I looked up to see Ray, but my eyes were hazy with sleep-deprivation that it took a while for me to adjust to his face.

"What are you...come here."

Ryou swooped down and picked me up. I mean...like a damsel in distress. I felt my cheeks blush as we went toward my bed. He laid me down as he kicked off his shoes and joined me. His arms were around me as he tucked me into his chest. Yet, he didn't say anything and that only brought my worry back to a head. Even as I felt his hands comb through my hair, as if he was thinking, I couldn't hold back my words.

"Ryou."

"Hmm?"

"You're leaving me...aren't you?"