Infancy

A jarring, white light had engulfed my entire body. It eventually faded into a warm, golden light, which showered the wooden room. Two soft hands grabbed me and lifted me up before wrapping me into a small, fur blanket.

Damn, This thing is hella soft! Wait. I guess a newborn shouldn't be swearing. Gotta watch that.

Once coddled in the small fur blanket, I was again lifted into the air. I caught a glimpse of an aloof man staring at me, with his hands outstretched. His azure blue eyes contrasted his sandy blonde hair, which was tied back in a ponytail. His muscles rippled through the skin tight black shirt he was wearing. This man was clearly muscular, and behind those tearing-up sapphire eyes, I could see an imposing man. Someone who clearly had a lot of battle experience. I started to look down, I noticed that he was about average height in my previous world. Maybe an inch or two taller. A clear wave of relief has just washed over this man, his anxiety clearly fading away.

I guess that's my father.

As I was surveying this man, I heard a woman's voice. Though I heard her, I couldn't understand what she was saying. Apparently, there was a different language in this world. At least it wasn't English or Japanese. Which makes sense. I should've expected that. I was carried away from my father.

The pair of hands that had grabbed me placed me on the breasts of a woman laying in bed, exhausted. She smiled at me, and I smiled back at her. Or at least tried to. I had no idea what the range of emotion a newborn really has.

I was wrapped by another pair of slender arms. This time, I looked up to an exhausted woman with golden eyes accenting her platinum blonde hair, which was about shoulder length. She had dark circles under her eyes, but she smiled widely, with satisfaction. She seemed to be the more adventurous type of woman. At least, that's what I felt when I peered into her tired eyes.

I guess that's my mother.

She held me softly, as any loving mother would do, and her sweet, citrus scent filled my little nostrils. She seemed a little tall for a woman, though it was somewhat hard to tell as she was laying in a large bed. Her rosy cheeks were filled with joy. And a sense of accomplishment. As she started to doze off due to her immense exhaustion post-birth, the pair of hands who had wrapped me in the fur blanket grabbed me again.

I was turned around, and I finally got a clear look at the woman who had birthed me. She was wearing a maid dress.

What the hell? Real maid dresses? Oh wait, I told myself I would watch my mouth.

The maid had reddish brown hair, with caramel eyes to match. Her neatly pressed maid uniform utterly contrasted the slightly disheveled and disorganized vibe my father gave off.

I guess that this household would quickly fall into ruin without her, huh?

Thinking that to myself, I was already starting to feel extremely sleepy. I guess that my new bodily functions would be utterly limited by this child's body. Nothing that I can really do about that, other than wait.

I started dozing off to sleep as my father rocked me back and forth, singing me lullabies that I just could not understand. They were soothing though, and I quickly fell asleep in his arms.

^^^^^^^^^

An unknown amount of time later, I awoke in a crib, wrapped in that small fur blanket. For a while, I just kind of stared at the ceiling, not knowing what I should do. I was a twenty-eight year old man stuck in a few hours old baby body. For all I knew, I could be older than my parents. Mentally, of course. But still, that thought was kind of awkward.

I tried to shuffle around a tad, but that soft fur blanket was almost acting like a straitjacket. I couldn't move at all. So, bored out of mind, I stared at the ceiling for who knows how long. I didn't even know if the concept of time worked the same way here as compared to my old world.

It got so bad that I started noticing little stick figures in the wood. But, they were just little cracks showing under the polished wood. I imagined what the little stick-people trapped behind the polish were feeling.

I get you…It must be tough being stuck up there, unable to move. I have empathy for you…cuz I'm in the same situation…

My infantile body was also extremely impulsive. Literally, out of nowhere, I felt as if I was starving. Like I hadn't eaten for a week. As I was staring up at the ceiling, because that was the only thing I could do, I started to attempt to get my parents' attention. And the only way I could do that would be to cry. Which I did. It definitely got their attention, but I despise the crying of babies. With a burning passion.

And here I was. Ex-Special Forces sniper here. Now relegated to crying like a baby.

After wailing for a couple of seconds, my mother burst through the room, with a wide grin on her face. She yelled something to my father, who also came running into the bedroom.

Jeez. It's just a kid crying. What's there to be so happy about?

Because I had successfully gotten the attention of my parents, I quickly tried to stop crying. But clearly, they hadn't gotten the message. They started making silly faces at me. They were probably trying to make me laugh or giggle or whatever.

No, idiots! That's not what I want! I want FOOD!

I did my best to point at my stomach, but being wrapped in that straitjacket made it impossible. So I thought that my new life was over. The savior will die to starvation at a wee age of a couple of hours old.

Oh, God. Please, I don't know if I'll be able to survive…

And, just at that moment, God answered my prayers. My savior, the maid, had walked in the room, and said something sternly. I was immediately taken out of the little crib, and unwrapped slightly. Just enough to try and point at my stomach.

My mom sat on a large couch in another room, cradling me gingerly in her hands, and began to lift up her soft, grey sweater. And she kept lifting it up. Internally, I screamed at her to stop. I just wanted milk or formula. I didn't want to be a 28 year old male being breast fed by a mother who may very well be younger than me. That's just extremely awkward.

I was internally screaming in agony when my mom placed her hand behind my head and pushed me up to her breasts. Having no choice, I gave in and just let it happen. There was nothing that I could physically do. I was in this hell for the long haul. I closed my eyes and started sucking.

The warm milk flowed into my mouth; it's sweetness was unlike anything I had previously. It also seemed a little bit thicker than the cows milk I was used to. Being hungry, I gave into my infantile bodily desires, and just let that control me. The warmth of my mother's milk flowed down my little throat, and spread from my core to my extremities. It was actually really soothing. I could feel the love and care this woman, who was now my new mother, put into feeding me. Every motion was graceful and fluid, yet not extraneous; they were all purposeful.

I would come to find that my mother was a graceful woman. As I had my fill, a wave of exhaustion suddenly came over me, and I began to doze off to sleep. I surrendered myself to my mother's gentle hands, and fell asleep.

^^^^^^^^^

It turns out that, as an infant, I can kind of just operate on some sort of autopilot function. Which was great, because I could just drift off in my mind and not have to worry about anything. It was a refreshing change of pace, not having to be actually paying attention all of the time.

Yes, autopilot is very nice.

All I had to do was force my parents to come and serve me on a whim. The power I felt was almost intoxicating, but these people seemed like genuinely good people, so I tried my best to not pester them too much. But, sometimes, as I would come to find out, it was physically impossible. This needy body of mine was, in absolutely no way optimal, but I just had to live with it. I would only have to live in a straitjacket for a couple of months.

A couple of months. Fuck.

I was dreading this hell of boredom. I had absolutely nothing to do, and to make matters worse, I had no idea what my parents or the maid was saying. Whether or not I was the topic of their conversations, at this point, were among the least of my worries.

My new schedule consisted of getting up whenever my body decided that it had a burst of energy, staring at the ceiling, which I would come to know like the back of my hand, crying out and wailing to my parents or the maid because I was hungry or I had shit myself, and then the occasional silly faces my father would make. As you could tell, this was an extremely boring life. I didn't even have the fine motor skills to access my status panel. This truly felt as if I was locked in a padded cell with no door.

However, I did start picking up a few words. Some of them were pretty similar to my previous world, which was somewhat of a relief. I had picked up a few minor details. Like my name. Which was Phoenix, by the way.

In a way, I am the mythical phoenix. Rebirthing through my ashes…

I also learned that my parents were named Steele and Freya. And my savior, the maid, was named Lilith. I will forever refer to her as my savior in my mind. She knew exactly what I was crying for before she even entered the room. Unlike my parents. When I eventually grow up, I really owe her. Big Time.

^^^^^^^^^

At this point, I'd say that I've been alive for around three months or so, if the calendar was anything like my previous world. It turns out, contrary to what I had originally thought, the development of children was way slower than I had assumed. I still couldn't mouth basic words. And I'd like to think that I was somewhat accelerated compared to other babies. I mean, I had the consciousness of a 28, maybe even a 29 year old now.

At the very least, I was able to start understanding the language I was now constantly surrounded by. Maybe because my infant brain was still extremely malleable, I picked it up pretty quickly, especially with the increased self-awareness I possessed as a three month old.

My plans of being able to at least crawl in a couple of months were all but shattered. I was thinking I may have to double, even triple some of my estimates. Even though I was living mostly on autopilot, my consciousness would return from wandering to look at the same log ceiling, countless times. At this point, I knew that wooden ceiling even better than my parents. I was worried that I could eventually become so attached to that ceiling that I wouldn't want to even leave.

A hikikomori because of the ceiling? Now that is actually depressing.

It was so depressing, in fact, that my little baby infant body made an audible sigh. A sigh of complete defeat. Though I couldn't even see myself, I probably already had massive bags under my baby eyes.

Sleep deprived wherever I go, I guess…

The only thing I could do was cry, stare at the ceiling, or sleep. And that's what I did for another indeterminate amount of time.

^^^^^^^^^

I think about six months later, I was finally able to start crawling and speaking. Well, when I say speaking, I mean, like, three words. That's about it. But, I had finally started rocking and crawling, which unlocked an entirely new world for me. I wasn't constantly wrapped up in that, although extremely comfortable, straitjacket in the disguise of a fur blanket.

Instead of staring at the ceiling, I was able to explore outside of my prison, I mean, crib. Fairly quickly, I was able to explore the first floor of my new house. It had the vibe of a homely wooden cabin down to a T. Even to the point of having no insulation other than the large logs stacked atop each other. Just your typical, old style cabin.

What surprised me, however, was that, even with the lack of plumbing, there was still running tap water. And although the fire needed some sort of fuel, lighters and matches didn't exist in this world. As someone who originated in a world without magic, it was pretty difficult wrapping my head around the idea of magic tools.

They just seem like cheat items, to be honest…

By this point, my world had expanded from a crib to the entire house, which was probably about 100 times more interesting. As I got the hang of crawling around, I explored every nook and cranny within that two story log cabin, and observed my parents actions and mannerisms. You never know when some imposter would try to impersonate them. Gotta be careful…

As my vision became clearer and more colorful, I started picking up the language. Though I couldn't actually reciprocate my feelings, I learned a little bit more about the world I was in. For one, I lived in a country called Aznaria, which was on the central continent. And that there were six days a week, six weeks per month, and ten months per year, coming out to a clean 360 day year.

A clean 360, huh? Makes my life easier.

If I were to calculate how old I was in this world, though, I would be about seven and a half months old, give or take. And I'd be a full year old in two and a half. Hopefully, by that time, I can do a bit more than just crawling. Which is a plus.

^^^^^^^^^

Another two and a half months later, it was my birthday. A came to find out that I was born on the third day of the third week of the third month of the three hundredth year. And today was 21/3/301. Exactly a year after my birth.

That birthday is kind of auspicious, though…

My parents attempted to bake a nice birthday cake, but kind of failed, so Lilith took over.

Thank God.

My savior had saved me from eating charcoal bricks. Well, that's what the cake ended up looking like. I mean, I appreciate their efforts, but like, I don't think whatever rat poison was injected into that "cake"- in massive air quotes. I was worried about my life, especially living in this fragile one year old body.

You know it's really bad when you wake an infant because of the smell of burnt cake. And the smoke is pitch black and smells like rubber. Normally, the red flags should be ringing far before that point, but, clearly, my parents are…eccentric.

I think that's understating it, too…

By this point, I was picking up the language fairly well, though I couldn't really speak it. I could understand most of what they were saying, but my responses were just one word, or sometimes just half word answers. My body just couldn't keep up with my brain.

Despite this, however, my parents thought I was a genius. I had no idea how long development typically takes in this world, though I have overheard from my parents that I was probably developing mentally twice as fast. Even my savior, Lilith, seemed someone concerned or maybe even a tad frightened with my lightning fast growth. But they didn't know there was the consciousness of a now thirty year old man trapped inside a one year old body. Which, in my humble opinion, probably makes a slight difference…

Anyways, back to that birthday party. Because I was so young, it was still just our family of four. By this point, I had surmised that though Lilith was the maid, she was accepted as almost an honorary family member. Something I was a fan of because she had saved my life multiple times at this point, and, until I am able to articulate my feelings properly, she'll definitely save me many more times to come.

I really need to pay her back. Somehow…

I mean, I love Steele and Freya, who are kind, caring, and strong people, but they have inadvertently tried to kill their own son multiple times through multiple mishaps. Mainly in the kitchen department.

Man, I keep going on a tangent.

Anyways, back to the birthday celebration, Lilith had to remind my parents that, due to my baby teeth, they'd need something soft. Not carbon steel. Which didn't really matter, because they burned the cake so much that it was as hard as, well, carbon steel. Lilith eventually took over, though she seemed somewhat compelled by my parent's effort. Maybe that's why she let them continue longer than normal. Or maybe she was proving a point.

Who knows.

Lilith had created this extremely soft, easy to eat delicacy. A little candle was lit on the small cake, and Steele, Freya, and Lilith sang some sort of customary song. Kind of like "Happy Birthday" back home, though the melody was different. After they had finished singing, I blew out the candle, and smelled the smoke from the candle. The sweet scent somewhat tickled my nose, which was surprising. Candles back in my previous world did not smell this good when they were blown out.

My mom eventually pulled the candle out and grabbed a fork. She punctured the perfect looking cake gracefully, then scooped some cake into my little mouth. Immediately, strong sweet flavors flooded throughout my mouth, kind of like those exploding jelly candies. It was soft, sweet, and immediately started to melt in my mouth, and I felt like I was ascending back to wherever I met Sakurai. It was so heavenly, I almost started crying.

Trying to get my mom to scoop another bite of cake into my mouth for me, I attempted to get her attention.

"Mama~," my high-pitched voice squeaked.

But that utterly backfired. Instead of getting another scoop for me, she went bright red and turned to my dad.

"Oh my! He's so cute, honey! Our little genius broke my heart!" She told him, a massive grin breaking out on her face.

She turned red and was blushing intensely while fanning her cheeks with her hands. At this point, due to my somewhat accelerated growth, my mom had started calling me little genius. Which was fine, but I don't know how much I could take being called that.

Hoping my father would do better, I looked at him and said "Dada~."

To which he did pretty much the exact same thing. He gripped his chest and turned slightly pink and started sweating.

"Haaah~ It's like an arrow pierced my heart!" He said, breaking into a sweat.

Bro, why are you sweating? All I said was Dada. Come on.

Mentally rolling my eyes, I had to bank on my savior getting the message.

"Lili~," I gently chirped.

She smiled, took the fork, and put another scoop of heaven in my mouth.

Ah, bliss. I really owe you, my savior…

After it had melted in my mouth, I smiled at Lilith, my savior, and attempted to say Thank you. Which didn't quite come out as planned…

"Dankyuu!" I smiled.

At this point, even my savior couldn't keep hold it in. She turned around to compose herself, but I saw the tips of her ears grow slightly pink.

Oh, come on! Well, I guess you got the message. Unlike my dingus parents. You get a pass.

After we had finished the cake, my dad walked into the one room on the first floor that I wasn't allowed in. It was also always locked, so I couldn't even try to get in there at this point anyway. He went in that room, shut the door, and came out a couple seconds later, holding a large wrapped box.

Because I was still only one year old and my fine motor skills weren't up to snuff just yet, my mom opened the wrapped box for me. Inside, there were a bunch of small toys. Various dolls and other things. But the thing that caught my attention the most was a dusty old book at the bottom of the box.

The Akashic Tome. I see. We meet again.

This was the same book I had found in the ruins before I had passed. I had not been expecting to see this thing so soon.

I guess Sakurai worked some of her magic.

Just as I thought that to myself, a sweet spring breeze blew through the open window, carrying a single orange blossom.

I see. Thanks, Sakurai.

As I tried to grasp the book, my mother tried to remove it from my little hands. Which would have been really easy to do, but my father stopped her.

"He seems to like that book. Why not let him have it," my father suggested.

"But he can't read," Freya rebuked him. "Hell, even we can't read it. It's some ancient language."

"All the more reason to just let him have it. He won't be able to do anything dangerous with it."

"I guess…" Freya apprehensively responded, though somewhat satisfied with his point.

"Probably." Steele quietly added.

Oh, you actual dumbass! Why'd you say that?

Freya raised her eyebrow, but she didn't try to take the book from me. It was not impossible something may happen, but highly improbable.

Thank God…

^^^^^^^^^

And that's how I got an old dusty book that nobody could read for my graduation from infancy to toddlerhood. My first birthday present. But, it was probably the best chain of events I could ever ask for. If I wanted to expand my mana reserves, I'd have to start at a young age. At least according to Sakurai.

Thank you, my savior.

And thank you, Sakurai.